Kamusta ka,
Naaalala mo pa ba ako
O naaalala mo pa ba ang pagmahal ko

Aking L
Ang iyong damdamin ay saakin pa ba
O Nasa iba na

Aking L
Patawad dahil hindi ko talaga kaya
na mawala ka sa aking buhay

Aking L
sana nahanap muna ang
iyong kasayahan

Aking L
Kahit hindi man lang ako ang magpapasaya sa iyo
Minahal kita ng buong puso ko

I am ****
For the lies
For the words
For the promises

I never intended to do

But for what
What reasons
For committing
These acts

It was the Guilt

The guilt that I kept you alive
The guilt that eats me up
The guilt that I broke your heart once
And the guilt that I am lying to keep you happy now

I all hurts

These chains that bind me
The binds of your feelings
For the one you see "me" as
But not the "me" i actually Am

I can't keep up

For you blinded yourself on what you want
But I cannot give you what I am
For It is not the one you really need
Nor the one you really deserve

It consumes me

The feelings of what keeps me up at night
The feelings that have bounded me to this
The feelings of what I failed to get rid off
That feeling that is slowly breaking me

It's eating me up as this goes on yet I cannot get rid of it

Obviously, I'm holding up okay.
I'm holding my head up high.
But there's a twist to that.
I'm holding it up, with a noose.

Like always, I'm still on the edge.
Started to hold my self.
With smoke and nicotine.
So I wouldn't fall over again.

I am a man
Therefore I must think and act like one
I must not show emotion
Nor weakness
Yet here I am
A living proof that we can be
Whatever we choose to me
Who are you to dictate
That I shan't show
How I feel
Who are you to say
That I can't be what I want to be
Just because of the parts I have
It is my life
And I shall live how I please

I hate myself
This unchanging self
The questions of why
Sticks to my mind

She was my light
The hope in my darkness
But like the others
This light faded

My heart was broken
But I'm used to it
From shards and pieces
Now Ash and dust

I'm cursed to fall
Fall alone
Never having someone
Right by my side

As I slit my wrist
I'm filled with bliss
My broken world
Falls into this void

I find it amazing
To find someone like you

The person who managed to fix
My heart that was broken through the years

In only one day

Another night
Where I stained
My pillow case again

Stained it with tears and blood
As I left another heart
broken

Unhealthy coping
Is the only thing
Giving me comfort

For it brings me
One more step
Closer to death

Love
A statement I've heard before
People say it's the best feeling
in the world, but it's not
We all know that song
"What is love, baby don't hurt me" right
But that's basically what Love is
It's nothing but pain and sorrow
With only a tiny hint of euphoria
And that euphoria only comes
To cover the the fact that the process
of love is impaling them with a blade
slowly embedding it deep upon their heart
And that is what love is
It's that blade you just stabbed them with
The blade that you will have to pull out of them
once you stop loving them
That's why it ******* hurts
It hurts when they stop loving you as
you are left to bleed out your emotions
Writhing in pain as they pull out the blade
slowly and mercilessly from your heart
Catching a glimpse of that
Moment of tangency
Seeing what might have been
If you just change
But now you are left with
That sinking feeling of Alazia
And a massive hole in your heart
continuously bleeding out
Those emotions that you have
That you wanted to give
To that one person you were suppose to love
That is why we crave
For the comfort of others
When we get our hearts broken
For we want to bleed out our emotions
To other people
As that feeling of love
Is quite addicting
That is why I try to find other ways
To cope with this
Addiction I have
The addiction of love
Even if I have to rely
On the comfort of a blade
As I cut my wrists
Just so I can use pain
As a distraction
In this madness
You call love

I've only felt happiness in my memory
But it all changed when you came to me
As I saw you with red cheeks
I was immediately smitten

I feel like the cursed has been lifted
By your presence alone
As a reward for that
accept my love and what remains of my soul

I will be yours
Till the end of my life
I can finally feel love once more
To you I'll give it all

Through everything I will risk
Even if the world comes crashing down
I will be right beside you
I promise you that

I want to see the day
When someone asks
"Are you okay"
I could muster the courage
To say I never was

I'm not going back
Just to take your parts
I'm not going back
Only to fix myself

I'm back here
To help tend your parts
I'm back here
To help fix the damage

I'm not here to take
I'm here to help

Your love was my medicine
It was my drug
I was addicted to it
When I feel it
I feel alive
But in the end
You gave me a placebo
I thought it was real
But it only felt like it

Another night
With a stained pillow
This time with tears

As I breakdown in sorrow
I hope for the best
The person you're with

Will give you the love
I never gave to you
In our time together

So please don't
Apologise anymore
As it breaks me even more

To see you hate yourself
Just breaks the remaining pieces
Of the heart I have

Hello again,

I think the proper way of starting this is with an apology
But it's already too late
For you are finally gone from my life
And from now on I'm gonna be honest with these emotions

I guess the saying "You never know how much something
means to you until they're gone" has struck me
And all I have left is to write before I break down

You were a sweet person, You were the one who always managed to make me laugh, even on those days where I felt like most of the world was against me, You stayed with me, talking to me until the sun comes up in the morning, sharing every little detail on those emotions your fragile heart has bottled up, but I broke that.

I've always regretted these memories, all the good times we had, all those those times we spent with each other, I always felt regretful for wasting those precious moments I spent with you, because all those happiness turns into a weapon that both engraved a deep scar in both of our hearts.

I tried to keep you within my reach for when the time comes until I can learn how to love properly, but how did that turn out, I found someone else who I feel like I'm incapable of loving properly as I still suffer from the damage I caused for the both of our hearts.

In the end I'm suffering, suffering from wishing I could hear your voice again, suffering from remembering all those moments I spent awake being with you, suffering because I ended up breaking both of our hearts due to my ineptitude of feeling love.

You were the one of the only ones who helped me, who stayed with me, who tried to help me find an escape in the darkness that lurked withing my mind.

I hope for the best that being away from me has helped you, cause even I wouldn't want to be with me too.

Sincerely,
The boy who couldn't love

Love...
A cursed word
That I call my prison
The cell
The ruins of what's left
Of my broken heart
It's dark
Damp
And Nothing but shards
Which has buried deep
Within my skin
Waiting for someone
To find the key
And release me
From this hell

Nobody can change overnight
Everything goes well when the time is right
A relationship will end
But a broken heart will mend

A new dawn has arrived

And So are did the demons

From the past I've left

Nothing now

But to accept

The darkness

I am in this void

I chose to be imprisoned

But I didn't say

I don't like it

Connect my heart with yours

So we can both feel whole again

Why, just why
I chained you up
And buried you deep
Within the darkness

Yet why does it burn
When my best friend
Told me he has
Fallen for you

I tried forgetting these feelings
I tried killing it off
By finding others
Burying it deep

I don't know
What to call it
Is it Jealousy?
Or something else

I don't want to lose
A close friend
Just because
Of my feelings

The feelings that haven't died
The feelings I have denied
The feelings that I lied
For the sake of myself

My reality is different
I live in a world
Where people cheer for my demise
Where people find entertainment
From the moment I stop breathing
It's a messed up one
But I'm stuck here