let go of those
who makes your smile disappear
don't hold into something
that makes your heart ache
open your heart and you'll find those
who would give you butterflies,
they said.

but,
here i am, being stuck with you
holding on to something
the cause of my wounds
wounds that brings comfort.

maybe these day you feel alone or even lonely,
you know that actually you are surrounded by bunch of people,
you have lots of friend,
but you feel nothing from them,
you still feel you are on your own,
you don't have someone to share your story with,
but it's not that you don't want to share your story,
you just haven't found the right person to share with,
because you can't trust everyone, and that's totally okay.

maybe these day you've been asking,
"until when i being like this?"
maybe these day you praying to God,
"i don't need bunch of friend, i just need a person who will understand me and never leave me."
maybe you are so close to giving up,
but you choose to not giving up, you stay patient and stray strong.

honey,
you are doing the right thing.
on the right time,
God will send you someone you asked for,
or even someone more than you asked for.
someone will really do care for you,
someone will always stay right by your side,
someone that you can trust and rely on.

honey,
you just need to wait a little more.
and believe that on the right moment,
that will happen to you.

i miss the old me,
i was not a quite person,
i used to be so cheerful,
i used to be smile a lot,
i used to be talk a lot,
i used to be so confident.

but that part of me is disappeared,
i lost myself,
no matter how hard i try to find it,
i just can't,
i need a map to find my own self,
but that map doesn't even exist,
guess i ain't gonna find myself.

after all the things that happened,
i become such a strange person,
i become so cold,
i can't like anyone,
i can't love anyone,
it's like there is something
wrong with my heart.
well, there is.

with this feelings,
i keep hurting people who loves me,
i keep pushing people away.

i dont want to be like this,
i want to find the old me,
but i dont know where,
i dont know how.

i thought it just a slight feeling,
but then i realized,
it wasn't.

you treat me so nicely,
makes me fall for you even more,
you are the one who could warmth my heart,
but you are also the one who break it.

in a moment you care about me,
but moment later you treat me as if i wasn't there.
you left me in confusing.
you left me hanging.

what am i to you?
could you please tell me.
it hurts so bad when you act that way.

what am i to you?
please tell me.

when i woke up this morning
it feels weird, because you weren't here,
beside me.

when i look up into the bright beautiful sky,
i remember all the memories that we have, memories.

day by day passing by,
everyday is just a normal day.
but not for my soul,
there is something missing,
it's your presence.

most people see me as
a happy person because
i laugh easily,
i smile a lot,
i joke a lot.

but deep down
in my heart,
i am fragile,
i can get hurt easily,
but i choose to not
show it to the world.

instead of being sad,
i choose to laugh to cover it.
maybe you can call me
"the queen of the mask"

by this,
you can tell
that most of the time
when I'm laughing,
I'm not really laughing,
i was trying so hard to hide
my sadness.