i see the words floating on
message boards or perched
upon the lips of jocular hypocrites
double-standards that demand
sensual chastity and virginal sexuality
in endless iterations of irony

the concussive
monosyllabic words
slung like stones
cast like arrows

****
*****
*****

all labels for
women possessed of
the courage to pursue
their own passion

once upon a time a
Nazarene insisted a ******* had
more integrity than a rich
statesman throwing self-serving parties
so tell me why so
many Christian politicians
propagate patriarchal notions of depravity
in blanket attempts to regulate
the bodies of women

if being anti-choice was really
about preventing abortions
why do rich right-wing conservative
Republicans spend all their time
and money picketing free clinics
when the solution lies in comprehensive
****** education universal healthcare
complimentary birth control
and comprehensive child support

don't dare use the reprehensible
rhetoric of pro-life unless you're
at once anti-war
and anti-death penalty

riddle me this
what pray tell is the
difference between a jealous
religious misogynist
and a secular sexist

it's rather simple actually
while the former bases his
****-shaming on the edicts of
a two thousand year old letter to
the Corinthians inconspicuously
sandwiched between a celebration of
love and a section on speaking in tongues
the latter’s learned behavior is
birthed by a hyper-masculine culture
grounded in dominance

either way we await the day
when wild women raze
these ideologies  
with torches before
rising like phoenixes
from the ashes of
decimated passages
dismissed by intellectuals
as archaic and outmoded
deaf blind and dumb to
the vestiges of modernity
that sap unscientific
philosophies of their potency
and render them utterly obsolete

in their wake
these proud women
erase the hate
from words like

****
*****
*****

and reclaim equality
with a far more
comprehensive term

feminist

My mother tells me that we will
Never be friends.
Today I believe it.
Love poisons our blood
And familiarity kills
conversation.
I look at her emotionlessly
So to block her influence.
She is an expert at exploiting
The slightest ****** waver,
Or any emotional advantage she
Could have over you.
She will make you wrong
Through verbal martyrdom.

I won't let her speak to me
Like she does the weak who
Are too polite or too submissive
To fight her.
Her style of English is cutting,
Self-righteous, honest, rude, unscientific, emotional, aggressive and often violent.
Never elegant.
She thinks the world is a battleground.
She is often incompetent and on top of that headstrong - to compensate for her ignorance.
She is sometimes funny, and sometimes kind.
She tells me we will never be friends.
Today I believe it.
I will not confide. I will not smile.
I will not joke, I will not listen.
I will help but I won't speak.
I will keep the talk small.
We will never be friends.

Dear Dr. Krebs. Thank you for giving me another birthday (May 17). Please, again, remember November 15, 1979, when my doctor and four other urologists gave me a maximum of four months to live with my prostate cancer, and they set up appointments for radiation and chemotherapy, which I knew would **** me if the cancer didn't, and I refused their treatment. Then on a Sunday afternoon I contacted you by telephone and went with your simple program. I am 71 years old and am on my 13th year [of survival]. Three of the four urologists have died with prostate cancer, and forty or fifty people are alive today and doing well because they followed my "Krebs" simple program. Thanks again for giving me back my life. Your friend, H.M. "Bud" Robinson

15th March 1999
All I can tell you is that I had a growth about the size of a pea on my eyelid for two years and nothing would change it. The eye doctor said he thought it was cancerous but I did not have any tests. After 4 months of taking one b17 tablet per day and 15 apricot seeds per day the growth has totally disappeared.
Al Bresciani
abb642@aol.com 407-426-5832

“This is when I prayed and asked God to show me another way because I knew the chemo was so painful...
“Hi, my name is Tina Brock and my mother Fanida Caudelle (Faye) has battled cancer for a long time. Twelve years ago she had breast cancer. In 2004 she was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She took chemo and the cancer stayed away for a year. It came back in her spleen, abdomen, and pelvic areas. This is when I prayed and asked God to show me another way because I knew the chemo was so painful. I began researching and found B-17. Thank God! I ordered her a bottle and she took it while taking the chemo and we were all impressed with how well her blood counts were each time. She is still using B-17 today and February 14, 2006 my mom turned 74 years old. I would like to thank you for making B-17 available.”
Fanida Caudelle, Age 74
Nicholson, Georgia

“Before taking the apricot seeds, I could feel a couple of small lumps in my *******. Within a couple of months the lumps were all gone and have not returned…
“I have been using Apricot Seeds for a little more than 2 years and believe they have made a big difference in my health. Before taking the apricot seeds, I could feel a couple of small lumps in my *******. Within a couple of months the lumps were all gone and have not returned.
I continue to take the apricot seeds every day and believe they along with whole grains, fruits, vegetables, avoiding red meat and seafood without fins and scales, and eating as organically as possible is responsible for the change in my body.
Edgar Casey had a vision of what he believed were almonds and that they prevented cancer. I believe Casey actually saw apricot seeds and mistook them for almonds because they look similar.”
Carol Loguisto
Nassau, New York
“B17 still continues to save his life every day...
“We were skeptical when our holistic vet advised B17 therapy to our German Shepherd Baron, who was diagnosed with advanced hemangiosarcoma or blood cancer and given two weeks to live. It's now been 7 months and he's still with us. B17 still continues to save his life every day.”
Mary Smith
Oakland, CA

“I tell everyone that I talk to about the natural cure for cancer, which is Apricot seeds, just another gift of God...
“In 2004 I went to my Dr. and had skin cancer removed from my face and back. The cancer on my face was determined to be basil cell but the one on my back came out to be melanoma. Since that time they have returned and the Dr. wanted to do more removal but I decided to try natural remedies.
In September of 2005 I found information about Apricot seeds and Vitamin B17. I started eating the seed and taking Vitamin B17. The cancer on my face was red and sore but today the redness is gone and also the soreness.
The most remarkable part is the melanoma on my back is getting smaller. Once I decided to use Apricot seeds and Vitamin B17, I also started reading my Bible more and using the Bible versed that were given me. My health has improved and my worries about cancer were given to God.
I tell everyone that I talk to about the natural cure for cancer, which is Apricot seeds, just another gift of God.”
Fred Davidson, Age 62
Independence, MO

“The Doctor could only scratch his head and wonder. I have also used it on a dog who had miraculous results…
“I have used the seeds as a preventive for a few years and never have had any side affects. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with colon cancer the size of a grapefruit. A few months and less than $500 dollars worth of seeds and pills and it was reduced to a small mass the size of a grape.
The Doctor could only scratch his head and wonder. I have also used it on a dog who had miraculous results. Read the book "World Without Cancer" so you don't have to watch your loved ones die in vain.”
Steve Strasburg
Arkport, NY

“I believe that the B-17 blocked the spread of the cancer, and saved her life…
“My sister had been diagnosed with Thyroid cancer last year. I immediately started her on 500 mg of B-17 twice a day. She had her thyroid removed, as it was aggressive, and fast moving. The Endocrinologist were amazed that that there was NO spreading to the neighboring lymphatic system as is usually the case.
I believe that the B-17 blocked the spread of the cancer, and saved her life.”
Patrick Harris-Worthington
Minneapolis, MN

“The doctors don't understand how this could happened and finally we told them in March, 2006 that I had taken B-17…”
“In 2004 I contracted liver cancer. My doctor said chemo was the next step in my progressing liver cancer. I had been taking all the right healthy vitamins and eating right and now "cancer". When we were told there were NO guarantees that the chemo would work, my wife and I decided to try the B-17!
It was scary because we were not sure of how much to take on a daily basis but started with 100mg 2xday. We worked up to 500mg 2xday for about 5 months and then down to 100mg 2xday at present. I did take zinc and B-12 for 2 weeks before starting the B-17.
The cancer mass went from a 8cm to 6cm in less than a yr. It did not spread and it had shrunk. The drs. don't understand how this could happened and finally we told them in March, 2006 that I had taken B-17. My blood tests came back "normal" last month and all the friends and family are amazed and we are happy.
PS...the dr. called and gave us a phone # of a girl who was suffering as I was and could we call her and tell her what we did? My doctor said chemo was the next step in my progressing liver cancer. So, we did and she is now starting her regiment...”
Dennis Montgomery
Arcadia, CA

"I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in both ******* in December 2003 and had an operation to remove 2 lumps, some lymph glands and some nerves. Thankfully, I heard about B17 and did not proceed any further with another operation for a half mastectomy, chemo, radiation and tamoxifen.
I am pleased to say that I am doing very well. The doctors at the hospital have ignored me since February 2005. I had requested that they continue to monitor my progress with ultrasound. They insisted that I see a particular radiographer because they wanted to see the results they wanted, whom I knew was a particularly rude and rough ultrasound scanner. So I requested to see another radiographer. They kept sending me appointments for the same radiographer and I kept phoning the Ultrasound Department to change to another radiographer. Each time they said that the consultants refused! This went on for months and from February 2005, I have not heard a word from them.
They were not happy that I had refused their barbaric ways of practising medicine! They told me that if I continued to use alternative medicine, my condition would worsen and I would be back to go on conventional medicine, by which time "it would be too late"! I did offer to give them information on all the supplements and about B17 but they flatly refused saying that they didn't care about what I was doing because it won't work!!! They kept saying that as I was in my late 30s the cancer would advance at a great speed and I should think about my daughter!
That's my story in a nutshell! Keep up the good work." - Laila T, London, UK

Dear Angel,
I don't know if you still remember me. I wrote to you early 2003 about my dog, Life, she's got cancer in her spleen, and was undergoing chemotherapy with the vets. Well, I think you do remember haha. Anyway, just to update on what happened - her chemo finished May 2003, and I've been giving her 3-4 apricot kernels a day ever since. She is now still alive and well. I take her back to the vet every 3 months to do blood counts, and all her white blood cells are within the normal range. So, it has been 1 year and 4 months since her last chemo session, and the vets are very very surprised! Because out of all the vet's chemo patients, Life is the only one alive and still under good condition - which is totally out of their prediction!
Oh well, just want to thank you for the apricot supplies. At that time I really didn't know where to find them. You've opened the door of hope! And now I'm ready to order some more! Annie, Australia

To The BBC
"Sirs. On the 6 o'clock news tonight a medical professor was stated as saying that it was dangerous to try to cure cancer by 'untried' and 'unscientific' alternatives to the usual methods applied in hospitals.

May I say briefly that I have been cured by one of the horrors he mentioned, namely 'eating apricot kernels.'

Some years ago a nasty oozing swelling on my right ear would not respond to any treatment, but just grew in size. It was painful, it messed up my pillow each night and caused me emotional worry. Eventually I was sent to the Lincoln Hospital by my GP. They took a biopsy, and a specialist told me that I had a squamous cell carcinoma and that I would have to have a certain percentage of my ear removed. This was not good news. I deferred having treatment. I said I wanted time to think it over.

As it happened, I soon got to hear about apricot kernels, and began taking about ten each day, together with a generous helping of pineapple plus supplements. Within a couple of weeks I began to notice an arresting of the ulcer, and then it gradually began to decrease in size until finally, after a few months, I was left with nothing but fresh pink skin. The specialist was very interested, and took photographs, and said he would confer with other specialists in the hospital. He asked to see me on a regular basis, in case the cancer had spread to glands in the neck. But after twelve months he declared that I had been healed, and didn't need to attend the clinic any more. Strangely, he didn't seem inclined to discuss the matter further. As I understand it, the medical profession is not willing to accept 'anecdotal evidence.' Let me say this. I am not a medical man but a physicist. Even if Newton's apple is apocryphal, he certainly knew about things falling to the ground, and using his keen mental acuity, formulated the theory of gravitation. Astronomers knew all about the peculiar motion of the orbit of Mercury, but it took the mind of Einstein to provide us with the reason via relativity. These 'anecdotes' were the stuff of scientific method and advancement. If I (and apparently quite a number of others) are finding that skin cancers respond quite quickly to the eating of apricot kernels, the medical profession should be asking why, and coming to a scientific solution, rather than denouncing the anecdotes as 'unscientific', and the apricot kernels as 'dangerous.' Arthur E., Alford, UK

My introduction to apricot kernels was through a friend who lives in New South Wales. She visited my house in September of 2000 and was very sad as she had been diagnosed with metasised bone cancer and had spots on her rib, spine and hip. She previously had had breast cancer some six years before this diagnosis. I know she thought her life expectancy was doomed and I felt quite shattered as I also had breast cancer 18 months before this and had used my friend as a benchmark of how I was going to progress.
When speaking to her some months later to check on her health, she informed me she was eating apricot kernels, and in huge quantities each day. I believe it was around 30. This intrigued me as I had no idea there was any value in the kernel of this fruit but decided to start searching the internet for information and this is when I started to come across Phillip Day and other sites which endorsed this cancer strategy. My friend is now cancer free according to her professor/specialist and a hair test, she has a lavender farm which she works from the bush to the end product and also has alpachas...hard work......what an inspiration she is.

My cancer was bad, aggressive, two tumours in the left breast and 14 of 17 lymph nodes cancerous. I had a mastectomy of the left breast, undertook 4 intense doses of chemo and 6 standard doses, spaced 3 weeks apart. I also had 6 weeks of radiation therapy. I knew I had a fight on my hands as the specialist was very clear to explain that their belief was the cancer would be elsewhere.
I made a decision to take other vitamin supplements, including selenium at the very beginning of my diagnosis and then when I heard about apricot kernels, I thought maintenance and prevention was my next option. With experimentation I had the kernels daily but found I had reflux so interpreted that my body was telling me I did not need to have these so frequently and have now taken them twice weekly...the equivalent of a flat teaspoon of crushed kernels each time. My five year extensive check up happened in March of this year and all my tests are great. I am very well, feel terrific and know I have lots of energy to enjoy a wonderful life with my precious family and friends. My health is my wealth and the help and joy I give to others, who are embarking on a journey with cancer, is a wonderful reward for being a survivor.
Thank you again.
Regards
Judy


In 1987 a sun spot of many on my scalp developed into a malignant cancerous tumour which grew for ten months. For only the last three of those months I began eating apricot kernels daily, but the tumour had already grown to considerable size; invasion of the bone (skull) was suspected. I finally agreed to operation to remove the squamous cell carcinoma on 28/6/1988. The plastic surgeon was puzzled as to how the cancer by then had not spread to other areas.
Over the following year a new tumour started slowly next to the skin graft area whilst I continued to ingest the kernels (Vitamin B17), three times a day before meals. The new tumour was excised without skin grafting on 2/5/89. I declined to undergo follow-up radiotherapy after the operation in spite of dire warnings from medical staff that the cancer would almost certainly spread.
Many years later no cancer has developed so far. I have continued to eat one handful of kernels a day before meals, drinking some water before chewing them to reduce saliva contact. Doctors at Royal Perth Hospital expressed surprise that their predictions had not been realised. I continue also to concentrate on a high fibre and low fat diet. Combination with selenium is said to enhance the process.
The theory of the above is that the cyanide content of fruit kernels (mainly apricots) penetrates and attacks the cancer cells but leaves the healthy cells unaffected. The medical profession, who pour scorn on this theory, and government have caused the sale of the kernels to be banned in the shops and elsewhere. Consequently I have to obtain my own supply of stones and then have the dreary task of hulling them with a mallet. I suffer no ill-effects eating them. Incidentally I have found the kernels are
freely for sale in the United Kingdom! - D.B. Wundowie, Australia

Dear **Just a short line to thank you for all you done for us and all the help you gave us.
we got a phone call from Dorothy's brother George this morning. He went for an x-ray yesterday and got his results this morning. Apparently the lung cancer has gone completely but they still want him to finish his chemotherapy.
We think it is a combination of all the therapies he has been taking, but mainly the B17 as

People who are more active
are less likely to think about cancer.

Choosing confusing reusing
is the answer.

Spanking your child
is unproductive and cruel.

We may have been wrong there,
But hey! William Singer can get the kid
into a better school.

Pools and ponds are okay,
but avoid lakes.

3 out of 5 doctors
prefer headaches.

Do you have a problem (?)
Take this pill.

But not for too long
'cause it can ****.

Don't eat eggs,
don't use butter.

You can eat eggs now,
but not with butter.

It's okay again to use butter,
just skip anything from Laura Scudder.

Girls with long legs and short tempers
make better lovers.

Boys always marry girls
who remind them of their mothers.

Do these 40 things
to be a better father.

That's so last year!
Why even bother?

Women who wear wicker
marry quicker.

Men who love their lawn mower
do it slower.

People who breathe through their mouth
as less likely to pick their nose.
Or so it goes.

50% of those polled
said "yes."

The other half shrugged
and wouldn't wager a guess.

We know it's a lot to process,
so just stick with us
and we'll guide you through...

more or less...?

Most people lost in trance,
No moral No virtue, none taking stance,
Corporations, profiling the masses for profit,
Wisdom, a lost art, never a conversation topic,

Most people  lost in trance,
Thinking, intellect seems active...  but at glance,
The masses follow but a single or many devils dance,
Compassion forbidden, ignorance in forever expanse.

Wickedness spreading even in a happy song,
The Path of Ancients, forgotten, what has gone wrong?
Spirituality always seen as an unscientific farce,
A pure state of consciousness, truly: a lost Art.

As a the masses defile, few seek purity,
All with masks on, fearing true reality,
Fools fooling fools, a vicious cycle,
Kings and pawns, dreaming of power and titles.

Lost in trance, for others amusement,
Greed seekers doing even the devil's recruitment,
Pollutants in all, mind, heart and body,
Lost in trance, devoid of potentiality.

A few fools, feeding on ignorance for money,
Truly, lost in trance, a lost humanity.

The Easter Bunny is a friend of mine
He used to lay his eggs in my back yard
But once I moved, it got to be too hard.
We’ve been buddies a long, long time.
It’s all my fault he visits me no more
He had to make it from Kansas to Nome.
That is far too long a trip for him
But, that is where I bought my home.

He was a pretty good old boy, indeed
For all his reproductive strangeness.
He was sort of like a football player
In a long lavender red carpet dress.
Harder to me, to accept whole cloth
Was what he had to do with Jesus.
But as a magic rabbit, for sure
He could lay eggs as he pleases.

So, every year during springtime
Here came my friend the bunny.
He’d **** out colored eggs, he did,
And nobody thought it’s a bit funny.
That he’s six feet tall, like Harvey,
Cusses like a sailor makes me laugh.
But that he is a Christian symbol is
Not really reasonable by about half.

Still, who am I to quibble about tradition?
It is fun for everyone at this time of year.
Along comes this unscientific miracle
And the kids smile from ear to ear.
They run around collect these eggs
That to me often looked rather scary
And do not question the bunny tale
Like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.

two sudokus down, one pending, and the drinking is insatiable, peering into the stack of books, there's a copy of seven years in tibet and in start to wonder: what sort of interesting life should ever produce a book? the majority of me is asking: really? 7 years in 7 sittings of reading this?! who imagines writing a book, having "completed" an interesting life, does not imagine the majority of the readership, discarding the actual book, and being tibet bound... jealousy is such a cheap emotion, to be honest jealousy is the cheapest of all emotions, cheaper to pay a ******* for an hour's service, than take a fine girl to dinner; what, was someone expecting an "oops" with that?

i sometimes can't imagine the quality of pop,
it's not a pedantic "observation" -
it's just: well, could have done better,
but then again: you clearly couldn't have.
    i like rereading shakespeare and thinking
than minor additions would make the works
stand in greater clarification,
notably in shrapnel -
- 1st witch: why, how now, hecate?
you look angerly.
- hecate: have i not reason, beldams as you are,
saucy, and overbold? how did you dare to trade
and traffic with macbeth, in riddles,
and affairs of death,
  and i, then mistress of your charms,
   the close contriver of all harms,
  was never called to bear my part,
   or show the glory of our art?
such minor revisions, pedantic, of course...
i.e. - how did you dare to *trade and
make trivia with macbeth -
      better still: trade & trivialise -
         and
   - in riddles, and in the affairs of death;
suppose we don't live in times
of man's "omniscience" etc.?
                but we do, and categorising ourselves
as such, we can only seem to test
knowledge via answering trivia question -
the triviality of knowledge oozes out
of game shows: where enough to be
knowledgeable is enough to known the most
encyclopedic set of facts...
    having to encompass all of man's
endeavours seems rather mundane...
             heidegger's aphorism 91 ponderings VI...
and the arrogance of writings maxims /
aphorisms...
        you read them as if they are basically true,
but then again: they're written as
propositions, rather than as presuppositions...
there's not a single word in the works
of nietzsche or la rochefoucauld
that supposes an observation to be true:
        a bit like the legal system dichotomy of
the english vs. the european courts:
  a. innocent until proven guilty, vs.
b. guilty until proven innocent...
                it's the ****** bombast of writing
maxims as propositions,
   there's no room for "error":
said content is: necessarily true,
                         but unnecessarily observed;
most of the time maxim notation is
an erosion of common sense, and subsequently
the killer proteins of alzheimer eating
away at the fatty tissue of the brain...
          mental exercise?
      who the hell wants a schwarzenegger's worth
of brain, i.e. exercise what?
           i don't like nietzsche's style precisely
because i don't like aphorisms or maxims...
          they're bombastic in assuming they're
true,
   i.e. once observed: forever replicated
to the same summa summarum...
  i think it's unsavoury to presume that one's
observations are fit for purpose of replica
observations taking hold of the reader...
if, perhaps, these aphorisms were written with
an overtone of presupposition,
             and left in the la la land of: supposing so -
they would be guarded by an element
of surprise...
                      an encroachment moment,
with an element of surprise...
         if only the loss of propositional bombast,
and the mediation of supposing-so,
   with an undertone of prepositional discretion...
stating the obvious in that stating
the obvious is stating an: unchallenged truth,
an unchallenged observation shared between
to people, well, aren't we talking about
  simply observing the perpetuated plagiarism
of what is "observed", without ever
deviating back into the "unobservable"?
       i believe that aphorisms (as a medium)
are plagued by a certainty inversion -
             sure, they're true, but they are also
true without a guarantee of replica -
                 for the most part they are placebo
ridden...
                and the only aspect of philosophy
that is unscientific...
                for the most part the style of writing
that's aphoristic is placebo,
        and not res replica...
           unless offensively forced - stereotyped.
if only the writing of an aphorism was
plagued by presupposing rather than proposing
a conclusive play on a voyeuristic act -
             the presuppositional attention to detail
would be tactful - and part of the cartesian
continuum...
             but propositional observations,
akin to making stereotypes, have no element
of founding one's thought in the cartesian dynamism
of doubt... there either is, or there isn't -
existentialism akin to the genesis in nietzsche
was born with the cartesian roller-coaster
of fusing an emotional regard for feeling,
i.e. doubt... negation being the prime ingredient
in existentialism, is oh so boring...
         ego negare, ego quasi cogito - ergo..
      i deny, i sort of think -
                                             therefore;
pretty obvious, we had to change the song -
we know so much already, in the current times,
that doubting would be pointless -
    doubting used to have a thrill of purpose
never being finalised,
   existentialism replaced doubt with denial...
so few things can be doubted,
   and when so few things can be doubted,
  we purposively lie, deny, lie, deny, to somehow
muster an origination of awe in emotive
experiences, which only bring failure -
  awe does not coexist with denial -
           you can't be in awe via purposively lying
to yourself...
  you can only seek awe by being forced
  into an emotional system of doubt...
but since existentialism eradicated doubt and replaced
it with denial...
     as already mentioned:
we deny, therefore, we sort-of think -
      we deny, therefore, we "think";
as the zeitgeist suggests - robotics, and other
forms of automation are taking over.
the argument still stands:
  if only the medium of writing aphorisms,
or succinct "truths" could be universally tested,
or at least universally observed as being true...
     if only there was a lost propositional(!) bombast
behind these pieces of writing,
or rather: a presupposition(?),
     since both approaches still converge in the realm
of supposes;
   a position is taken and one is for it -
while a supposing is given and one predates
it with a spontaneous unearthing of unnecessarily
having an opinion about it -
to presuppose is to not suppose -
since presuppositions are more archaic in always
being unforced observations,
  whereas propositions are enforced results
of having forced oneself to think: about something
with the end result of: a maxim,
or the extended maxim, i.e. an aphorism.
          - so who would actually want to make
language, and easy, and accessible, to the majority
of man?
          did not the power reside among
the priesthood who spoke latin, while the general
populace didn't?
   so why would anyone not decide upon:
speaking an english, within english,
   that the common englishman could not understand?

when memory remembers
patterns of survival
in the bush in the wild
it feeds it defends
it leads species to dominance

when memory remembers
moments in specific
all distorted and faulty
in the world in the modern
it leads species to confusion

why memory remembers
is not what we remember
but how we survive
in a world of competition
it leads by what works

all truth is irrelevant
as we logically know it
in the wild in the bush
today is always the gift
tomorrow always the wish

             no matter specifics
    it's all about instincts

this is hardly a poem, it's a precursor musing -
that i am planning something
in the range of 5000+ words:

- a transcript of Kierkegaard's
concluding unscientific postscript
to philosophical fragments -
a mimical-pathetical-dialectical
compilation, an existential contribution
(february 28, 1846) by johannes climacus
    an extract...
- a translation of Szymon Starowolski's
Declamatio contra obtrectatores Poloniae
circa XVI...

not to mention that i'm reaching burn-out,
not to mention that:
well it's always nice to hear something
from your mother that can bed-rid you
for a few hours...

it sort of reminds of those Pearl Jam lyrics
from the song Animal
'i'd rather be...
i'd rather be with...
i'd rather be with an animal...'

sure as **** he comes into my bed...
i've changed which side of the bed
i'm sleeping on...
i don't know why i didn't think of it sooner...
usually on the right...
now, sleeping on the left...
ingenious move...
the mattress feels cooler...
obviously less indented... firmer...
and... at least this 10kg bonsai of a tiger
is just sleeping next to me...
rather than lodging himself
onto my thigh and treating me
like a cushion...

but this is before the plunge...
we're supposed to be these barbaric people
of the north...
depictions of hunting mammoths
and what not...
em... aren't elephants sort of domesticated
in India?
when the great migration took place
from the subcontinent via mother Siberia
toward the funnel of civilization that's
Europe... didn't we... perhaps...
take elephants with us?

didn't Hannibal? so i'm thinking...
you're up north... you hear about farming
from Egypt via some wandering "wizard"...
****... loads of forest...
so much forest that... well... beside hunting
and foraging... nearly impossible...
i should know...

when my next door neighbour put up a new
fence... the gardener / fence "expert" cut out
most of the vegetation from my garden so
it would be easier to put the fence up:
including my beautiful rosemary bush
'oh, didn't know' -
you pair rosemary with lamb! England
is famous for its ******* lamb!

- on a side note... you'd have to watch a
video by... Refika's Kitchen...
Turkish lavash / beef recipe...
with that onion side salad...
rosemary also works miracles with beef
with a side dish of sumac onions
and that cucumber yoghurt dip
(****, what's it called... tzatziki?!)...
yummy yummy thank you: not my mummy...
me!

anyway... he cut all the bushes, foliage, etc.
but... ha, ha... ha...
oh i had all the right tools...
a mechanical saw, a chainsaw...
a manual saw... a shovel... a small shovel...
a large fork... a small fork...
it took me about 3 months to clear the earth
from roots along the length of the entire garden...
we're talking 30 metres (circa)...
at least... ****... maybe 50 metres...
we're talking roots sometimes just a metre
apart... sometimes digging up a root would
take me... 5 hours... we're talking digging
to a depth of about 1 metre and coming
across the infamous London clay...

oh sure, Madame Tussauds - here's a mannequin
of Diana - princess of Wales...
never mind that the genius handyman
put the fence too high up...
my neighbour's **** garden was
doing an "empire strikes back" from beneath
the fence, morning glory was crawling though...
so i had to dig under the fence
and put dollops of cement under the beams...

great spring... so i'm thinking...
did we really hunt, mammoths?
well sure, we could have used horses...
we used horses to plough the fields...
now? we just breed them for spectacles: at the races...
otherwise... one of those species of animals
that have it: super ******* easy...
perhaps we used them to deforest areas
of Europe to create land for farming...
but... given the domestication of
elephants in India, given... Hannibal and his
elephants walking over the Alps...
personally? i think we used mammoths
to deforest this land to make
farming possible...
what happened to them afterwards?
what happens with anything that no longer
is necessarily used?
if it's a thing, it gets thrown away, or recycled...
if it's a creature...
it's usually eaten...
   perhaps a bad winter... culling of deer in Scotland...
for game meat...
but i don't think the mammoths simply "were"
out cohabitants in the north...
i suspect that we brought them over as elephants...
and by some "miracle" of Darwinism
the elephants mutated to have fur...

who's to say i'm wrong on this view?
Kierkegaard's conclusion to the unscientific
postscript will most certainly elaborate on
that...

both these transcripts will hint at what i have
already been thinking about...
objective thinking is "overrated":
no, more on the lines of: why is subjectivity
so wrong, when it's not properly understood
and only women are afforded its benefits
which become exploited in the most negative sense?

and... Szymon Starowolski's translation...
what i have already noticed about the English
tongue... but to think that this thinking was already
around in the world, in Poland, of all places,
as far back at the 17th century!

but to deforest so much land as to make it arable?
if we didn't use mammoths
then, hell... me must have used wishful thinking!
perhaps our ancestors had the power
of telekinesis!

so that the roots of old foliage have been dug up
by my hands...
the green party can ******* from me...
i also planted a fig bush,
a plum tree, two cherry trees...
an apple tree... a pear tree... o.k.?!
i'm done with all this carbon footprint *******...
i also moved the fern to a more shady
part of the garden... there's wild garlic
pulverising me with its scent that reminds
me of marijuana...
i reclaimed the rosemary... i have thyme &
oregano... plenty of mint...
a bay leaf bush...
                                         grr... i don't know why
i'm so... happily angry.

The moon's not a crescent
It doesn't glow
It doesn't shine
It doesn't hang in the air
It doesn't show your love
Or mine

Blood moons? Not ******
Blue moons? Not blue
Super moons? Not so super
New moons? Anything but new

Superstitious? Full moons
Don't fill the earth with fright
Don't induce labor
Nor raise werewolves
In the night

No man in the moon
Hate to break it to you
Moon's mysterious myths
Mere legends
All untrue


These unscientific lyrics
Carelessly thrown around
What a load of crock!

The moon is nothing more
Than a cold empty sphere
A pale lifeless rock

And this just in
From all the moonlight lovers:
So is my soul, what a shock!

I remember when sleeplessness quelled the light,
I could feel consciousness flicker like a candle dies,
I should see The impossibility of human superposition,
I would know nothing and be totality in This juxtaposition,
The brain was in standby as I caught a glimpse of It without light;
I choose not to to through That Door,
May It haunt me evermore.

I shall explain why, I was reminded of something Alice's friend said: "Finally, they must agree that, if an opportunity to go over the threshold into death presents itself in the trance state, and they're tempted, for any reason, they are not to do so". Quite specific for a threat so vague
(considering the common-sense rules which did precede).

I dare not declare said unscientific thoughts
to be paltry to anything I believe in
but I did experience an event
detailed as a memory;
And so I say, I stayed
'cause I was trippin'
and far too afraid.
You must let that emotion
wash over this rational poem.

It's a downer to express the largest-scale tragedy of my lifetime

over and over again.

I've combed through 10,014 medical malpractice reports of young people who had been strong and without complication up until receiving the one-eyed technocratic snake bite that supposedly has nothing to do with their suspicious deaths,

I've gone through 25,117 autopsy reports (not every report: I scanned bunches of 250 reports in 10 groups of 25 reports or 25 groups of 10 reports at a time for very specific details, though I've read some of the reports 5 or more times) of elderly people who had survived world wars, epidemics, pandemics, and many outbreak and spikes, only to succumb within 72 hours of receiving whichever junk SGT inoculations that have nothing to do with their untimely deaths—

that occurred in North America
over a 2 week period.

I'm not supposed to talk about it.

I'm not supposed to express anything
other than expressions of agreement
that Delta variants and the unvaccinated
are killing the vaccinated

or express nothing at all.

I'm not supposed to express that I know the ingredients, and the processes involved to source ingredients, on chemical, molecular, cellular levels; that I know the MSDS and LCSS documentation, and patents, involved.

But, I do express it, just as I did again above.

When someone claims that their significant other didn't die from the shot that they had received within 24 hrs of dying,
I'm supposed to agree with the cheap, disloyal, dumbed-down, brainwashed, bootlicking, unscientific, pseudo-intellectual, spineless coward

who is hurting from losing a loved one.

I'm sorry.

I'm not supposed to express that we've known since 1991 that the synthetic chemical digitized mRNA, that isn't really mRNA, causes the host to spin-off variants of multi-drug-resistant and multi-vaccine-resistant super microorganisms—subtype variants of virions and bacteria that are often variants of variants of variants.

I'm supposed to stay zipped-up
or—encourage!—offer support
and congratulations to people
who are suiciding and committing
****** and euthanasia

without proper informed consent.

Be positive about it. Smile. Nod.

Have it be whatever you want it to be.
Use mockingbird skills to make it real— abracadabra!—it's en vogue, all the rage
to parrot percentages of efficacy,
to virtue signal over standing with
trillion $ industries and special interest
against Earth and humanity.
Insert cash money and mirages
into the soul-******* jukebox, baby.

Rage With The Machine.
Rage For The Machine.

Yesterday's false-positive
is today's false-negative.

Thomson Reuters will fact check you
into a cancer case to vindicate delusions, stubbornness, and negative pride.

I'm not supposed to express that within the principles and disciplines of medical ethics and the Hippocratic Oath, it's ethically corrupt and illegal to use political and emotional coercion, especially while simultaneously dangling fear over the intended target, to enforce/push any drug treatment, regardless of situation.

I'm supposed to use dope and *****
and a movie
to switch tracks
from my passionate obsession.

I watched a movie that included
a medical health scam to entrap the people
in a fashion similar to when the Germans believed that they were receiving vaccines
that helped to defend against typhus.

If we ever find ourselves in opposite sides
and positions as we are currently,
please offer proper informed consent
to the people.

The greatest scientists
Are always heretics once.
Einstein is still annoying.
But Murphy saying
Everything will go wrong.
A universal law.
And we see it every day.
We do something great
And then can’t do it again.
Something goes wrong
And we go to get it fixed
So it magically works.
What is the source
Of this unnamed magic
Of unscientific observation
Becoming a guide to life?

the golden age of poetry is upon us, i'll say it outright,
it's not like poets have any high status in society
to begin with, they're not musicians,
they're not painters: a manuscript will not sell for
as much as a painting would:
it's a case of involvement:
what's to be invested...
                    let's rob the writers, scribblers of fiction,
let's: let's definitely rob the journalists...
esp. the editorial section typos for journalists...
let's rob them...
the comedians are in retreat...
people still don't cough up for our art...
like it was always supposed to be free... this, content...
me? i personally don't mind, i get my income anyways...
a debility check from Elizabeth II: well,
not herself... psychotic tripping since aged 21...
bilingual-schizoid quadratic sort of "thing"...
see... i always wanted to be organically attached
to this land...
i am: growing more & more detached from my native
Poland... although... ooh... the wintry air of central
Europe is unlike any other...
i'm also a crow watcher...
    ha ha... it's really funny... on the continent: at least
in Poland... crows tend to congregate,
they flock, once i sat through a mighty thunderstorm
while only spotting... a cloud of crows...
a Mongolian horde analogy...
the crows merge ranks with kafkas... vrona...
honest to god, they can become quiet intimidating...
a whiff of blood... they congregate
in the trees like hooded monks...
a legion of schwarzekreuze messerschmitts...
that's on the continent...
that myth... a legion, a cloud of crows will
arrive at the resurrection of Barbarossa...
but in England? weird... sure... you can sometimes
spot crows congregating in a tree...
but... how do crows travel in England...
they travel in pairs...
******* huginn & muninn...
no higher faculties than huginn (thought) &
muninn (memory): imagination can hide...
i need to think, i need to remember...
i need the theatre of memory since...
last time i checked... the worst "thing" i have ever
done was... **** a ******* silly...
well... stole a CD (queens of the stone age,
songs for the deaf) from a W.H. Smith...
i was just checking their apparatus...
i stole... copied the CD then put the original
physical copy in a different store...
what?!
  i also cheated in my second year at university...
some sociology course... the teachers stressed:
you work will be scrutinised through
an "a.i." (my ***) system to catch out plagiarism...
Thesaurus Rex... how i fiddled with the text
i inserted, i should have been playing a *******
violin for pennies on Westminster Bridge
i was that good... i was so good at plagiarism
employing the thesaurus tactic that...
apparently someone didn't write a computer programme
good enough: i bypassed it... got like a 90%+ mark
on the paper... it's sociology...
i was simply making up the marks
for the French i deliberately failed in my first year...
a French 3rd year major from Grenoble...
obviously she was going to break up with me...
like i broke the conditioning of my bony ****
of a hand... win win scenario...
but the golden age of poetry ought to be coming...
if the comedians are ******* off because of
cancel culture... some journalists might...
some will remain as makeshift gatekeepers of...
whatever's left...
to my leisured care for surprise...
i tend to read all philosophy books in my native
zunge, from Kant to Heidegger...
to Rousseau... i can't read philosophy in English...
but... there's always a ******* exception...
Kierkegaard...
i purposively stashed a postcard from Venice
in this book at this precise point:
hmm... subjective truth... isn't that the only truth?!
what, what sort of objective truth, what
sort of science are people expecting, these days?
water boils at 100°C... it freezes at 0°C...
happy? you want more? how photosynthesis works..
how trees reduce the amount of chlorophyll in their leaves
so that they turn yellow, brown from green
come winter: beloved of mine, season...
the air outside can act like a refrigerator...
no insects...
Concluding Unscientific Postscript...
the appendix... an understanding with the reader...
ahem.. Kierkegaard wrote in the 19th century...
you think we have "readers" these days?
with the readily available comment section?
you buy a book... sure... scribble some notes on
the sleeve... you think you'll hear from the author,
any time soon?
reader?! more like a ******* ******...
A FIRST AND LAST EXPLANATION...
maybe because Kierkegaard was a Dane...
that... reading him in English is as good as reading
him in ******...
but i will not read a philosophy book in English...
beside Kierkegaard...
don't know... my brain is sort of wired like that:
bilingual-"schizoid" & what not...
i just loved reading the rubric of pseudonyms
employed by this Dane...
either / or - victor eremita (Copenhagen,  feb. 1843)
fear & trembling - johannes de silentio
repetition - constantin constantinus
the concept of anxiety - vigilius haufniensis
prefaces - nicolaus notabene (noted well?)
philosophical fragments - johannes climacus

    blah blah... there might have been two more...
but... Kierkegaard can be read in English...
i wouldn't touch any English philosophers...
they're a poetic people, they're a musical people...
to hell with Locke...
the English are too practical,
are, to their shame, huh? egalitarian...
the English must be approached with
compliments, to shy away their vanity:
deservedly earned for their engineering prowes,
but when it comes to shepherding people?
they're... pretty **** at stating standards...
standards: no, necessary constraints...

i can't read philosophy in English...
in my native tongue...
is there a typo in the Kierkegaard
anthology by howard & edna hong...
this one  little word...
part upright part italic...
as it reads (reeds?)
  creating... is that how syllables work?
should it be done, thus:
cre-a-ting?

              oh, i'm in it for the LONG RUN...
finally... i wrote something circa 2016...
also titled it: circa 2016...
now it's getting traction...
i've also experienced some...
of the Streisand Effect phenomenon...
i have been banned... curated: for the better...
hello, herr cursor, hello herr. censor...

a ****** in England though...
my relation to this land...
i can absorb it... i can mesh with it...
i'm loving this land like a native might...
this... ******* DAMP... these overcast skies...
i can adapt... i don't require a Yorkshire lass
to compensate my libido lacks...

that i know how it works....
i'm looking at the numbers...
if i were making video content...
100K+ viewership...
i'm writing... i'm happy receiving 30K+...
you happy? i'm happy!
i get 40K+ views...

look at me...
people have made an effort...
to, read: to reed!
self-congratulatory applause:
clap... clap.. clap-clap-clap...

i know the game... the game is time...
i don't have a surname worth
remembering... it's not...
some -stein...
                        or a hot-
   -lear...

       not even Immanuel Kant....
i'm here.. to own my NAME...
my ナメ...

fair enough... the women will dive into Egyptiology
and the hieroglyphs of Emoji...
as i hope... men will look east... at Japanese /
Korean scripts....

ナラ (NA'H-RA'H) i.e. narazie..
i.e. see you later...

high hopes... no leftover ambitions...
what will be: will be...

any music from the 1980s... from the 1990s...
as long as it has a bass guitar prominence,
i can clearly forget the concept of
a rhythm guitar...
give me bass, give me drums...
gothic...

          eyes of the jungle nightmare -
shadow dance... a welcome break from
the cure or sisters of mercy....
this night deserves my awe.

Mine not yours and don't tell me otherwise
I loved him first for his genius ridiculousity, brilliant insanity
Idea:
two fleets of zeplins
the former carries ready made homes
the latter, bombs, set to carve craters just the right size to drop the homes into

I fell next for his spiritual science, new age pragmatism
Thought:
maybe all of us are intrinsically bound by a integral of gravity and that integral turns out to be love.

But I love him most for his heartache, his depth for melancholy
Feeling:
tired of being a wordsmith and mathematician and designer and sailor, prepared to instead become a part of Lake Michigan's great biology

What I'm still trying to love is his hope, relentless in optimism and downright unscientific. The thing that took him off that ledge. I'm glad for it but I cannot call it my own.

My strength
Is that I am
Fundamentally
Unscientific
Not subject to the
Dissection
Of consequence
Or category
And not at the
Mercy
Of the scholastics
And nihilists
Who spend their days
Trying to reprove
That the whole is equal
To the aggregation
Of its parts

(Villanova Pennsylvania: May, 2019)

Stop.

Stop clutching your stomach
When you think everyone is watching.

Stop escalating, spreading *******,
Unscientific Trump talk, ignorance isn't a gift.

Stop worrying. A 2% death rate. That's it.
Yes-- if we have to,
We will set up temporary hospitals in Walmart parking lots.

Stop watching. The news has one objective.
To sell ads. Fear is it's only priority.
Constant fear means constant commercials.
Fear is a form of elite control. The 1% want you
To be afraid every hour of every day.

Stop fearing death.
It is the only common experience
That we have.
It is natural, it will happen to you,
And to I,
And to your parents,
Your children,
Your pets and plants,
The tires on your bike.

Nobody knows what comes next.
So stay in the now.
Which isn't really the now,
But it's close.
You live all your life
About a half second in the past,
Which is close enough
Not
To fear anything ever again.

Stop your silence. You do have something to say.
An opinion.
Yes you do.
So vote for the world you want,
Not the one we are leaving behind

it’s early, a stilling stillness
everywhere a spilling,
earbuds enforce the silence
pushed off to one side,
to lay still,

&

let the music
gentle us
into
the
possibilities of the
day a~head,
before us with,
its many complications

three songs about the heart,
love lungs singing and ****
reminders that this loving,
    this unscientific unscripted
heart felt notion is but notional,

that heart
is a hard thing to use,
more complications than
mundane body parts,

I’m thinking
what is it,
a regulatory body,
a government,
a conspiracy of certain cells
of cells
to charge a toll
to let the blood be pumped
back and through,
that the billions
may live on

now after many decades
this decadent heart
wonders less what
is it about this
***** that we
breathers
believers
that we
ask so
much?

short sweet answer complete;
work forever
so that we
may never be
a too deaden
flower

and let us peddle our
poems like petals,
*and even petal them
roses to those whose
whose scent lives for
more than
ever
than
just