Children born with *** is the most sadest thing in life. Everyday there is a child born with ***. The reason for this is because adults and children are ***** each and every day. By the curel careless people in this world. Kids are sent off to oprphanges in some parts in Africa where honestly is better then some other places in Africa. Thats not it though the ones that are not in oprphanges are at risk each and everyday for there lifes. Not only for this disease but for the curlest people that will **** them for basically no reason because they dont have freedom like we do. Why treat children this way period but why treat them especially if they have limited time in life. They dont get to see and experience what we get to see and experience because we have the freedom. Each and everyday children in Africa risk there lifes to go to school most of them don't survive because once again the cruel poeple in this world **** them. Unlike we get to go to school for free and have freedom. We get to have the oppertunity to have an education. When they are not even given a chioce. The kids that are not in a orphanage are slaves they get torchered they get wipped they even are forced to see there parents wipped, ***** and murdered. They dont have choices at all for there life the chioces are made for them. Barely any water to drink or even food to eat. Children in Africa die each and everyday either from ******, starvation, dehydration or there disease. We act so ungreatfully to people in our lives we should be ashamed. When poeple in Africa don't have parents or if they do they dont get to see unless seeing them be torchured. I am thankful for everything I have and the freedom I have. Learning about this in school was intrestingly horrifying because of what these people do to these children and there parents or to people in general. They dont get *** from chioce of *** or born with it or lack of condoms they are forced with this horrible disease that is life killing and that most likely turnes into AIDS. With out any medical or lack of medical attention the poeple with disease are left to die. With people torchering them by watching and ****** them each and every day. It makes me furious to know that there are children human beings out there that are being torchured, *****, murdered, starved and dehydrated each and everyday of life. This is the life to the day they are born untill the day they die. After reading this think really hard about your life and the things and people in your life is life really hard for you is it that painful is it that horrifying. Put yourself in there shoes would you like seeing your parents child or sibling get ***** murdered or even wipped each and everyday. going without food or water or having barely food or water. For me after writing this and learning it my whole life is heaven compared to them. I have everything they don't and better and  I am not even close to being as greatful as I should. Think about this and this is so very true this is there lives each and everyday for the children and adults that are slaves that have ***/AIDS in Africa.

Sculptured Abuser

I’m six years of age and you abuse my body. I’m a child with a fragile body still developing. And you know that but It doesn’t faze you at all.

I’m silly with my school friends. A child heart, Silly brain, I'm sometimes clumsy with what I do
That's just being a normal six-year-old
I’m still learning the basic facts of life, when I’m with you I’m silent and frightened. Does it ever occur to you that one day someone will capture you doing your actions?!

In my mind I would believe what you’re doing to me is the normality of being a guardian.
You know it’s not.
I don't know it's not
But in some ways, I know it's not

The fearful sculptures of you glued into my head
I shouldn’t be seeing you in that way. If I told you, you would enjoy it- if I told anyone they would think I'm making this up: stereotypical thoughts of humans- children like to make out their own stories.
I probably would need psychological help and for a child myself that shouldn't be necessary

I’m not an adult so I shouldn’t be feeling this pain and I shouldn’t be feeling you’re body onto mine.
How does that really feel?!
How does all of this really feels like?!

When I close my eyes it’s not pretty it’s not sunshine and daisies. And unicorns and rainbows. It’s YOU!
Sculptured abuser. If I had to draw a picture of you I would draw a Clown- And not one of them funny clowns either

Midnights have a way of releasing you out of you’re mental cage. Influence of an ugly smell when you're on top of me and not even that when I'm close to you I smell it, it's so dreadful when I taste you're snaked slithery tongue it startles me, makes me want to bite it so you can stop
I will never understand why you treat me like this.
I find it cruel that you even think of me in this way
A ****** predator is your name

You have no idea that this will mess up my physical image of myself and you’ll be messing up my mental mind. Physiological I'm already messed up because this has been going on for years. Abnormalities of a child's mind are playing, building happy memories and watching cartoons.
Defiantly NOT
Getting Abused by their own fathers

Clearly you don’t care!

I’m a child who should be respected not torchered in the way you do to me. Laying in this bed letting you have you’re way with me isn’t what a child should be allowing a parent to do. Isn't something a child should be fearing from

It’s tiring and exhausted that I can’t live a normal life. Especially at night time when I should be fast asleep.

How do you live with you’re self! I truly wonder.
I wonder was this your childhood life too?!
If so no wonder, you would think this is okay
Pretty messed up if you ask me.

Sculptured Abuser
Don’t pick me up from school let me have peace and quiet while travelling to and from school. These alone walks are refreshing- even in school it's safe
You take every chance you can get to be alone with me and to have your way. That's why you jump to the gun went taking me to school and not the others

Why me?!

***** Abuser you should be loving me dearly and giving me hugs to say you love me.

It’s super funny how you have no shame in what you’re doing behind close doors.
‘OH, you won’t be laughing when prisoners have their way with you’. I'll be one laughing

As you know buying me chocolates and talking to me in a creepy way it haunts my nightmares. It haunts me!

Don’t look at me with them spooky evil devil eyes.

Sculptured abuser, I want you to die!
Everypain you will be suffering it will be worth it
And there will be no hand to be searching out for no one will rescue you

You’re a natural abuser and always will be.
You’re funeral will be cold no tears
It will be lonely
This is what you deserve
The faces what you'll be seeing is the faces of the victims you abused.
In my future life to come
I always see you as my
Sculptured abuser
Not my beloved Father

floral effervescence
     wafts around you

          thy theo black temperament rose iq
          ushers lulabies as playful amor kru
          apollo is falling for the aquamarine
       rays, reflecting the sea's craved ardour
     and our love is like a cyclamen oleandro

  the fascinating, dissolving, poisonous sleep
  inwardly unaware of the whitest clouds oro
  seducing the beauty of a ceruelan absolute ~
   if i were the wave i would foam your dream
    if you were a black panther i'd be your kaa
       for a day to experience your mighty paws

     to tremble like open window shutters, strickened
       by the fire, by light, by thunderbolt's love flame

       oh, come on, come on sweet man of the fantasia
       i've got to tell you i ain't foolin' around those dim
      alleys at nights like this; luscious calls lure hello
       at least, hear my hearts deepest throbbings, hear

     them, embrace them, conquer my world's cream
      taste the strawberry sweeteness on a tip of me, u
       trickle your tongue against my open buoyancy
       write kaligrafic words of love's invisible tint
        beautify the untouched pergament, maestro

        write like there's no time nor tomorrow's no;
       inaugure every christmas crickets flash mob
       within you and awaken me from a slumber,
       deeply rooted, lovely and mild as wood's chi
       and I will cherish you, praise and love long
        forgotten wild forest's animals as panacea
        for the dissolving salt upon a love wound  
          which torchered your solitude for who's

         pleasure, for what reason, for a slick slap
          of an epic trustful faith as lux aeterna
             crashing the myth of a love superior;
          a desolation of waning touches soma

         hiding its fragility in madmind's attempt
       to overcome what's earth's given inferno;
        to die in a lustful blazing heat of creatio

          contemplating about heavenly key lock
        how to forge a golden key to your anima,
      gracefully giving a hand to her emperor
      to dance on a verge of an existence' folie
       to blossom upon hushed world's meridian
         in dreamy space n' time, first darlin' flush
        the prime animus dances, dares, waters~

Acting like an accident waiting to happen.
They unprotected me and left me for dead while I was napping.
Torchered by their lies.
I can see through their hip disguise.

Again they act like the lying cheats they are.
It is to bad they have beaten up old car.
Trying to help them act to torcher.
In the heat another scorcher.

For ***, lies, and video tape.
They can go on “Gilbert’s” grape.
My neighbors lie and so they act self righteous.
Then they then act to destroy my life with no bias.

No one will help.
I am here alone with the enemy about to melt.
That is all I can say.
Maybe one day they will pay!

fenix feather dipped in blood
signed on the dotted line
see it better quick in love
lied on those songs you write
it must take a lot of effort
too make that texture look fake behind those measures find a treasure you little spine collecter
I'm a guesser not a fortune teller scorpion seller orphan on welfare
torchered in the celler sources developers and I'm always letting her take the best of me story teller my faverite ingredients for the recipy mental telepathy extazy a mess of things letting me keep the key away from reach babygurl your never ganna be set free ****** me gently hurtig me tenderly a blurred memory that make the eckos scream no remedy dead asleep too stressed too keep a smile on go on ahead of me
if I dont respond u know I'm dead too be dont check too see and step beneath the deepst regions I used too believe in freedom like some believe in demons angel holding me while I bleed with weakness agree too see this before its finally gone always sleepless
forced on writing these songs while righting the wrongs
that help me respond and bestrong trying too keep on the right path
like a pesant forced too bites scraps
or the essence that makes you fight back on the right track
if u stay with me gurl ill make the night last
I'm giving you the world before you even had a chance too ask
I just hope u can understand the facts


I dont have let go if your holding my hand

A broken body abused over the years,
It is not just the physical pain that I fear.

It is the relentless agony in my head,
wanting only to hide in  bed.

Looking for a way to releive the pain
body and mind torchered the same.

It hurts so much, all the time,
Does no use to sit and whine.

I have been patient and I have given many things a try,
results to 12 to 18 needles a week that make me cry.

It will get better just hang in,
I'm like a fish with a broken fin.

Can't swim, sinking to the depths of the sea,
No one can help it is only up to me

left alone to suffer, too proud to shout out
the pain rips through me ripping me apart.

The day has ended and I once again wonder,
Should I keep trying, striking like thunder?

Or do I say enough is enough, I have sufford far too long,
I am tired and exhausted, and it is hard to carry on.

This is not personal,I love you so dear,
please understand when the time is near.

'. If anyone competes as an Athlete  he does not receive the victors crown unless he competes
according to the rules 2 Timothy ch 2 v 5

I watched from the hallway of 19 Cimla Creasant ,my Gran with her Bible praying by herself .
Just Gran and God , her daily act of obedience unto thee.
' Call yourself a Christian ? '. My Grans rebuke of some mischevious deed ,
For all I knew were scorcher comics and superman books , and sooty and sweep
Squashed in a cupboard .
Yet Gran has her victors Crown her wreath of golden bronze , She ran her race with Gods
Good grace , and at last seen Christ face to face ' well done my good and faithful servant . '
Green shield stamps coop books , ham salads and cups of tea .
To look out over skewin and see the night lights shine as if just for me .
Then there was rusty the dog , and the odd 50 p from Aunty Jane in our grateful hands
For an Ice cream for being good as gold ,
We would listen for the coo coo bird on the hour and like trumpton take a bow .
My Grandads shed where My Father as boy would hammer nails on wooden floor ,
And the scarey cracked old mirror at the very back of the wooden floors.
Of walks to Opels for fish and Chips with white wet hanky at hand .
Sudden stops , just to listen to her grand children talk  and walk down the Cimla again .

Jesus Christ has risen today , Gran took us to her church one Easter
To sit in pews and sing nice hymns , to smile and be polite ,
no Barlymagrew as yet I knew Cuthbert Dibble doubt.

To the knoll we walked ,past river stream , and woodland ,
A cross was marked in some rock along the way ,
Is this where Jesus died , was crucified  , hung up on a tree ?

The book I read on mothers stairs  this man in comic strip ,
When i was 10 years old ,
The same man who died for me  torchered on a tree .
Would it be tie a yellow ribbon , or the ****** red Barron from Germany ?

We used to pray in Chennestone  hands up all to see
a peek to see who's looking
We  listened to Griegs Morning , and sung  there's  no discouragement to be a Pilgrim .

Then one day God came calling on the Isle of Wight.
On  Covie camp on blended knee i opened my heart to thee .
Oh the lion may roar from time to time ,
Gods grace is still enough for me

I scream in my sleep
thinking of that creep
now that I finally have you
I cant even touch you
he tied me up and torchered me continuosly
but you found me and killed he
sometimes I tell myself you should've let me be
but maybe I was ment to die
even though you tell me it's a lie
but now I'm free I realise there is nothing here
nothing I can actually bare
I go to the clubs I "share"
you say you'll always be "there"
but you wont you will never be "there"
when I "fought" for my life i never had something to push me to go on
I dont have a daughter nor a son
he had taken everyone, everything
I remeber I sat there hearing the birds sing
I remeber how much I wanted to go right then and there
so when you say you'll be "there" you'll never
*be there

I feel like I'm drowning but in reality the only thing I'm drowning in is my own tears. My lungs are slowly being filled up with water that comes in the form of memories and I feel heavy but even though in order to drown you must be underwater I feel like I am on fire. Every cell in my body is burning with hurt, rage, and pain. I shake. I shake from the inside out like a ******* earthquake and I want to scream. But when I try nothing comes out because everything is silent when you're six feet under. Why can't I be helped. No body can help me but myself they say but I can't help somebody I don't know because when I am drowing I am no longer me.  I am everything that I don't want to be thrown together in one . a monster. A beast. A fool being held at gun point by her closest friend that they call PTSD. Torchered by the memories I tried so hard to forget. Memories of blue eyes on a cold winter night   or memories of her hands around my neck. Weather they are good or bad they all hurt me because they're memories of what I had . do you know what it feels to be set on fire to feel like you are melting the walls are spinning and your body feels heavy so heavy you can barely move every step you take feels like you're carrying the weight of the world on your back and you try to fight it but it's like the demons are whispering or screaming in your ears . you feel like youre falling but you're just standing still. You feel like youre dying your hearts racing and you can barely breath. that's how I feel. Its my panic attack. Yea. Its that bad.

So many places to seek answers but no answers to receive. To many things to explain but I feel nobody can understand this pain. All i do is get drenched in the rain of sadness slowly being torchered and driven insane. It truely is my own self to blame. I suffer alone I stand alone I am alone to face this pain. I can sit down and pray but all I hear is my own voice in the form of an echo shooting back at me the prayers I send to ask for help and answers. May I ask whatI have done in my previous life to deserve such punishment If that is even true? May I ask what I have done so wrong evil to have to go through this pain I deal with day by day? May I ask why that every woman I give my heart to stakes it on a pole and sets it ablaze? Why my family who I love so very much has caused me to go through so much that I should have never  have gone through? Why i was born into such a hell? What have I done so wrong is the final question I have to ask.

I see a little girl
Torchered throughout her years

Frightened and scared
Trying to hide her tears

For what she went through was so terrible and wrong

She hides the pain inside
And tries to carry on

As she gets older she continues to re live her past

Over and over
how long can this last

She feels so much pain she can't control

She is dying inside the pain is swallowing her whole

She  feels the pain no matter how hard she tries

She covers up the hurt with her sad smile and lies

She feels so imploded with such horrors to hide

She's a ticking time bomb her soul is being fried

She's holding so much pain she has to release

She starts slashing with a razor she starts to feel some peace

The more pain she felt the deeper she would go

No one could help this girl from feeling so low

She tries to see happiness she gets a little glance

But her emotions explode she no longer feels she has a chance

She picks up a bottle to drain away  her past

Instead she drains the bottle she looses control so fast

She spins and she spirals the feeling of despair

The self hate the torcher it's too much to bare

She's wants an exit she wants a way out

To Stop this feeling  of being  worthless to stop all her dought

She wakes up in the hospital feeling hopeless ****** and bruised

she tries to make sense of what happened her mind so confused

She tries to have faith that she can overcome her past

But with every drunken attempt it could be her last.

The steps to the museum were many ,
you helped me climb the stairs .
Before my eyes ,
behind every glass frame you had placed every living ***** of me .

You bought a program which you called art ?
A wooden chair .

Before  me lied exhibit number one .
Burnt out ,
torchered ,
bleeding ,
dying ,
I saw my heart ,
in a frame ,
In front of me .

For it was there in a dungeon you left me ,
with nothing but stale bread to eat ,
you hung you’re axe of judgement O me .
For What ?

For it was deaths daughter of the crimson lip ,
that had touched my lips .
A traitor ? Not I ,
A herotic maybe ?
For her words were like flowing rivers eastwards towards the sea.
And her chambers  had  a soft fluffy bed .

Angels hold locks and keys ,
they hover above my head ,
a jailers cart you ride with horse and whip ,
With me clinging to iron bars inside ,
with chains upon my heels.

Oh butterfly where are you’re butter cups ?
Where is you’re lavender wine ?

As we left the museum the doors were bolted shut ,
and the evenings light caught the roof tops of a red sunset ,
forever frozen in time .
As if two thousand lovers prayed .
Could this be our lasting memory,
our final serenade ?