I call it poison, but perhaps you won't. These cold pressed apples, pineapples, and spearmint only paste more modge podge over my face as I schlack it on...gritting my teeth I light yet another cigarette, now that's 2 packs of Marlboro Red Labels now onto American Spirits Light Blue. Cancer isn't coming fast enough. I wish I would at least be ******* out my innards by now, I haven't even vomited, maybe I'll take that toothbrush I bought for you to use when you would stay the weekend, that I haven't gotten around to whitening the sink with. Maybe I can do that Sunday. FUUUUCCK!!!! I am not praying I make till then. I don't know if I can even breathe another hour like this. I haven't drawn a sober breath in years- I'm on the wagon, but I was just transferred from a wheel into the **** bag for a horse. Being ****- at least it's something I am used to (a sigh of temporary relief washes over me. Or is it finally the Nicotine buzz I've been hoping for since I escaped to the forest with an airplane bottle of Southern Comfort[Brainstem: South to the **-femalien crease that's been comforting all these years, where are you now?] , and a pack of my Uncle's cigarettes to find out the first time how to make the pain she's gave me go away.

Men drink essentially because they can no longer illicit their needs.

You who I wasn't even attracted to at first, where together we barely called [Brainstem: this is where I construct a motive for using a chainsaw to pick my nose with] . You who I can now remember the way a mixture of your hair, body spray, sweet sweat, and vintage knits began leading my nose and my memory towards one of the greatest happinesses and darkest times I have EVER had.

[Brainstem: I just hate him. The kind of hate you have for a mosquito, a person who encourages you to speed up while they're walking without reflectors or night-lights in the middle of the road at night with their dog- that kind of hate. The hate that has me smoking my cigarettes to their orange and gold filters, that has me staying awake, unable to touch my own **** because it's already started staying at someone else's place and looks like two Californian Prunes and a shriveled overcooked mini-hotdog does. The kind of hate that has me burping up what smells like rotten eggs or bial.

....Out of nowhere without anything but the image of a virginate 21 year old casing around my aorta, lying in my bed in just a pair of her Fuschia & White Victoria Secret striped 100% cotton ******* that ever so slightly crease inward into the creases where her skinny young legs meet the ever-so-bite-worthy crease....After our first official date where we knew we weren't going to **** each other but rather she was focused on her breathing hoping I wouldn't be able to notice how excited she was [Crime: #4] then step away and find an imaginary monster that challenges every thought I have, conversations and incidents and challenges and givers and receivers and lines and dots, darts, knives, life, and *** and blood faintly stained onto the bottom of the that 1 1/2" piece of fabric which is the biggest obstacle between us.

While I write, recall, remember and dictate and draft up this piece, I realize that I am not the lawyer visiting the killer in prison OR even the killer cruising around in a slightly rusted robin's egg blue Volkswagen Anti-Climaxer, I am not even part of the story anymore, after you decided it was acceptable to be so graphically forward with me (I take another Xanax that's beginning to be two an hour that I avoid taking) Interspliced are scenes from Dexter, versions of serial killer life, visions of this fake superstar with his **** out flailing around spurting a little streaky one shot of *** onto your tongue and in your mouth, or maybe you were plastered with it.

I just know it's good I don't have a gun, I could go for a bullet sandwich 9 times over about now. I never touched, discussed, abused, misused, lead on, flirted with; I never did anything unattractive with the exception of being a heavy smoker and a low-earner right now, but I see women even younger than you make better choices than you. In fact right now I believe you will not even breathe on me. But it's no matter I have the reconstructed skeleton of his severed body parts I let soak in hydrofluoro until I could pick away what little gum-like pieces of pink sinew are still left. (Dexter: The Sarge and The Lieutenant walk  out of the precinct at the same noticing each other.

Do you believe that I really handed over the upper-hand to you? I've never had someone begging to **** my **** on a Thursday and getting a fake celebrity ****** from an awesome artist. And what really ***** the hammer and lifts my limp **** and ****-ticket up to your pretty little mouth, is knowing that eventually you will have to be alone again, and the shine of this excitement will wear off, and then I TOO CAN PLAY THE GAME.

1. Time to light the cigars.
2. I present the Nicaruagan landscapers' body, George Marshall, who is better known as 'The Skinner."
3. I accept that you're going to think being honest about your most promiscuous moments is attractive to talk about. I certainly thought that, up until you That is.
4. No more chocolate cake, again.
5. Throw out the soda.
6. Start taking Amphet Salts and running away from home and into everyone I would've liked to kick with my foot, bare, filthy, and furious into their cheekboned. Then smear the bottom of my oily and baby-***, **** and inviting foot into your Hood until you spray like the five hundred other times you tell me you didn't. But even all this. This cell phone, this furniture, the awful sound of the train all night, the illusion and total manic state that puts diplopic faces of imaginary people between me and the rest of the world.

I need to know, do you even want to here this? Are you confused? What led you to come over or invite yourself here?

Pills, blade, play, or having that kid. But putting up with his ******* to be in the background of thought as someone while I was at home with his four kids. And I just relax then because, while I thought organizing the tower room to serve our primary guest of action was necessary when I looked at it so lit up by the buildings across the way shining their light through its atrium making all of the room much more suited for making art, writing and dancing. This is a huge handful of good-naturedness in a friend that can't seem to get off the phone and I must have to hid the monkey. I have to go to Walmart and return the monkey. I will...... and this is the biggest luxury, the hotel maintenance will even cover up my own series of murders or Dexters.

You believe me right sweetheart. You're my closest friend, but she is worn together and I just like the rings I own to be worn by you so that you don't get the idea to slip up and not just give me more anneurisms for my ****** up already head, or cancel the party, but really play that game and seee them cased out, otherwise I could be...a? A Cosmetic Manufact- "I believe in Freedom." You said.
"hahahaha", I can see that got you where you are today, postulating my grief by throwing self-care out the window and just judging me based on what you don't relate to instead of what you do relate to.

PS I know you didn't have time to let anyone know I was coming already? Until I snuck a peak and figured out you had been casing me the whole time from beginning to end to break me. But I'm not broken. I'm just not eager to be touched by anyone else of the ** form other than you for a minute. I also have time believing that while you were scared of me giving you your first ***-to-mouth experience while I stand you up in a skirt in the back of the school bus. And I can recognize tears of someone around us, and so I stand up and I recognize that it's my friend Stephen who is really (...is really, an imagined hologram of myself I invent to learn about myself in dreams, and other horrific events that my mind shuts down for, and no you're not the only 5' foot and 5" inch blonde haired ex of mine that performs from the camera but not for the eye. It will all come out in the wash regardless. I better to get goin.....I could write on and on and on and on about all of these multi-secular, uninhibited, depressing suggestions from the same bill my sister has to pay her Electric and Water monthly on, but I need to not sleep to make the need more. And even though I say the photo of her touching a single toe with a dead boring hell bent nobody Phillistine that could care less about her Grandfather being sick or her getting an STI or STD or if she is taken care of. But I do. I will. I don't stop being the good natured caring and and passionate person I am just because someone I really thought was going to take me an honest man, just taught me to be more meticulous in making sure I dispose of the body properly... But maybe she isn't playing pretend, maybe she's just another Fake Prada caught up in the mix.

Sunrise was just a red line in the inky void, as Lisa and I reached the harbor decking stairs,
but at once, the brazen slash began widening, like a silent, slow motion explosion,  
thin, smoky wisps of cloud, like flammable tissue, prismed the stage light ignition.

bee-de-deep my phone chirped. It was Peter (my bf).
“Hey you,” I pronounced, as Lisa took off her left sneaker and shook it, upside-down.  
“How’s the harbor?” Peter asked. I glanced at my watch, it was 5:32 am in New Haven.
Peter must be at lunch (in Geneva) and tracking our morning run with the ‘Find My’ app.
“Beautiful,” I pronounced, “they’re really putting on a show.”
Of course, I meant the universe, the sun, the turns who were already at work, and Long Island Sound.
The gulls, perched on whatever, and grousing at each other, obviously haven’t had their coffee.
I read that AI had decoded bird talk and on a wire, they chittered, “Move over, you’re in my space.”

“Just wanted to say good morning,” Peter confessed, “Good Morning.”
“Good morning,” I wished back, “gotta go,” I replied, Lisa had finished de-pebbling her shoe.
“Yep,” Peter agreed, “Seee ya,” he quipped. “See ya,” I chuckled, smiling.
My watch asked, in my Air Podded ears, “Have you finished your workout?” because I was motionless.
I pressed the crown of my watch and slid the phone back in my pocket, our jogg’s only half done.

We began our harbor exodus, by turning our backs to the haven. It was already beginning to busy with boats.
We slipped on our hats and protective, polarized sunglasses as we began to run directly into the blazing sun.
.
.
Songs for this:
Sail on Sailor by the Beach Boys
Dancing in the moonlight by Toploader
Cold Heart - PNAU Remix by Elton John, Dua Lipa, PNAU

Death around theee cornner
I got me a burner
Huggin' and bustin' on fools
fake thuggin'
Mean muggin'
Since my heart was made of stone
Had no choice but to roll.on my own
My enemies plot try to get me shot
But the bullets always miss
Cuz **** nigguhs dont die we multiply
Rise with the gleam in my eye
Look up in the skies i see blessin'
Pourin'
If get raided at night
My homies we'll be arrested in the morning
Still mournin'
The days of slavery 400 years and still aint free
Heyyyy i still pave the way for better days
Sun rays to radiate my skin from sin
But since i was made of clay
Its hard for me to take in
Gladness all i see is madness
Used to be the youngest but now im the baddest
Put the spark in the heart of a bad *****
Most nigguhs turn snitch then end up in a casket
Lifes drastic myself i try to miss the plastic
But since i invested in **** life streets had to be mastered recipient of a *******
No ******' father
So i played my own rules always skipped curfew
Smoke a little **** or two
Liqour pours for my homies long buried
Bruce I'll always keep ya in my memory
My enemies
I vision dying vain in mad pain
Like an overdose of ******* dead brain
Im antimatter
So if ya touch me be prepared to get shattered
Like broken glass from copper to cash
Rollin' in 64 with 140 on the dash as
Mash on the gas
Evadin' adversaries nothin' is colder
Embracin' hell on earth
I seee death around the cornaaaaaa


And if yaaaa
Feeel me
Let the pistol smoke freely
Believe me
Cops killin' us for free no mercy
No quotes from me
I just see it how i see it
Since i embrace the gangsta lifestyle
I had to be it
My momma couldnt see it
Pastors couldn't believe it
That ******* region aint never moved me
Or my soul im standing bold
Got my eyes 10 years ahead of the game
Since i dodged the fame and the flame
I'd rather embrace the pain
Open knowledge for my brain
I feel closer to the devil than to God
Cuz he got too many demands for life mod
Against all odds?
Facin' the nation
With my ******* to the world
Even the spiritual world gone feel this
Im relentless
Rip through vocal chords on the track
Yea im black so i put a defense to avoid attack
Never slack keep all eyes on me
Yall can shot but yall will never bury me
Im resurrected split up the blunts
Stash the **** now the spirits selected
Me as a leader born for war
In the days of aeon last stages
Streets enraged in the need of a Savior
I keep my pistol concealed
If you got beef
I got bullets yo can feel
N saturate yo body for its last meal
My **** is real straight from grill
Im.on the verge of a ****
Ya know the deal
A warrior and a kin to Nat Turner
Im seeing deeath peakin' around the cornnaaaa



"Beuur ahhh craaa seee"
"Beuur ahhh craaa seee"
I said it over and over
until other words
shared its ambiguity

"Aaam biiih guuu iih tee."

hunched, ready
out there in the field

rope, lassou, in the mildew

phrasseers on, I pass a wrench to a fellow comrade

READY

ON WITH IT

loaded and maddened with the birth of a new era

in the magazine moon beams

FINSIHS

FALL INTO THE POOL


THICK

in the underbrush

I’m SO READY

YOU HEAR ME!!?? SPEAK

I WAVE MY GENATALS AND FLY OVER THE CROWD

SCREAMING BORN INTO THIS

I”M THE MIMIC


OUT FOR IT I CRY

SWEEPING OVER YOUR MAJESTIES TOMB

AND OUT FLY THE FIRECRACKERS

its an outrageous scene of people
dressed in everything

taking off their

PRIDE> SKIN


THICK RIMMED GLASSES

UGLY PEOPLE
PREPEARE TO BE


in the EYES

of GAME

THE EARTH, THE BARK

IN THE CLIP

MOONBEAMS

FALL INTO THE POOL


SEE??? SEEE>>??????


SEEE????????


CLOWNIN AT MAJESTY
CLOWNIN AT MAJESTY
CLOWNIN AT MAJESTY
CLOWNIN AT MAJESTY

So here we go again. Another chase for you that leads me into the maze that is my mind and the locked door of my heart is what I strive to find. Sand fading from the hour glass and I rush to the sound of your voice that seems to dissipate in growing mist that seems to rise from the ground like roses in spring. Oh, how I wish to find you, oh how I long for you, oh how I have my arms stretched toward you and yet you still turn away. This person you see, is it really me? Or has this demon taken me away to far into the abyss to the point you cant see what is a reality? Droning my pain in the cold of the weather and tears that seem to set a blaze to the lands that we once crossed upon and to leave nothing in his wake this demon seeks for you. How I wish to clash with this forsaken beast, but the beast is I. I am not but a man, but an animals driving by instincts and the will to ****, but this man that I am fights for your grace and hold on to this candle in the dead of night. But why cant you seee this flicker in the darkness? Has your own demons blinded you to the point that a vial cast over your eyes and leaves you in a game of who is there? Oh how this game for fear seems to declare us as its host, like a parasite feeds upon the most. This betrayal of our minds can only be stopped by our hearts, yet with pure intentions to warm us we cant feel our selves grow cold. How I wish I could warm my hands upon thee, but you face fades from my mind in the ice winds that seems to cool my soul. Oh how I wish you could hear my cries of your name, oh how I wish you could see the real me that you've always needed me to be. My loneliness is the price I must pay, to get this demon at bay, so now you can stay in a world without harm and pain as my sins wash away I hope you hear me say.... I love you.

I'm twenty three and just back from their war
With no idea what I've been fighting for.
I've not been myself since I got back
Trying to live within a panic attack.

I know one thing for sure, that my family
Always have, and always will love me,
And I know that they can see that I
Have become a totally different guy

To the happy young man I used to be
Before I saw the things I came to see,
But no matter what they do or say
I still look with dread on each new day

Since my best mate died in Afghanistan
Blown to bits by the Taliban.
"Bad luck" they said that he had to die.
I've never let anyone seee me cry,

That isn't how a soldier behaves
No matter how many go to early graves.
So now here I stand, mentally torn
Wishing that I had never been born

Into this cruel, unthinking world
Where every time the flags are unfurled,
The politicians spout more lies which we swallow
Then we flock together as we follow

These Judas goats who lead the sheep
To slaughter and everlasting sleep.
Inside I feel I have reached the stage
Where the fires of hurt have begun to rage

Against what is left in me to fight the pain
Do I want to face this all again?
Another day with my best mate gone
Do I really want to linger on

Asking every time I awake
Why was it him not me they had to take?
I just feel I can no longer cope
Does the answer lie in this length of rope?

Tom Higgins 16/08/2013

I feel that I am trapped by my dreams
Trapped in my dreams,
These things I need
Well it seems I need,
I need a vision of my future
I see my past in front of me
My brain traps me
This bed traps
This women laying next to me..
But, wait its just a dream
Please don's ask me what this means
Mars meets Jupiter
But only in my dreams
Define for me the definition
Of the things soon to be
It doesn't seem soon to me
What are we to be, is she to me
I do not see the answer
I only see the truth
The truth is coded in my viens
These hearts beats share dialect with my brain
Thinking of her but is she thinking of me
Who can seee the innner me?
Life lays in my bed, but she is mean to me.
She whispers to me my past, my pain
Tickling her tongue with their names
Pounding at my bones hoping they break.
My past, My pain
Why won't it go away?
Visions haunt my pupils
I can still feel the pain.
Reoccuring, memories of suprressed memories
I remember when I compressed those memories
Left them deep within me..Now they lay in my bed
Like an old friend, smirking, "Suprised to see me"
The things I fear, well things I feared
Nothing left to fear, besides those memories
Fate giggles at me
Death Laughs at me
The furneral its in the past so dont ask me
I dream of my future
Please let me catch my future.
Mars meets Jupiter
I see this women but only in my future.
Dreaming of my past
I can't forget the future
Visions burn my pupils
My bed is empty
I'm alone
But not in my future

.                                                                ­                      


                                        ­                                              dOe


             ­                   



                                          ­                          i




                                 ­                                                     seee



    ­            

                                                   ­                                                                 ­          U





                                                ­                                flicker











              ­                                               'tween roses











                                                ­                                         bushy frail







                                                    ­         tail and bones









                                                si­new nicely











                                               ­                                                                 ­                fleet











                                ­               on











                                                     ­                                                                 ­            earthen toe













                                        on cloven feet












                                                ­                                                doE
             ­                                                                 ­                 you are
                                                             ­                                 kind whitely
                                                         ­                                    through trees
                                                           ­                                 a ray downy
                                                           ­                                unsnow and heat



                                               DOe

                                               haired in comely fragrance by gigantic ruthless SPRING leap
                                               awkwardly from thinning life

                                               a smell that curls in my mouth
                                               tastes as thyme lemon honey
                                               and mingles 'tween roses
                                               (curiously fragile singing)

                                                it rises gleaming


                                                 on stem


                                                  on boughwet glazed


                                                   in LOVE

sitting in class, perfectly silent, makes my teacher ask "are you sick, autumn?"
but you see mr. teacher you would not care even if i was. My mind said only deep to the bone, but you thought my normal obnoxiousness was normal for me. Yet this quietness inside me has been wanting to break out for oh so long and now it has. why must you believe i am the wau"i" am?
why couldn't you look deeper to find the real me?
i am not silent, nor am i what you all believe me to be.
so stop assuming i will do what oyu say,
so stop believeing i will say this not that,
so stop insulting me because your insults are so ridiculous you have no idea,
your insults don't even compare to me because you don't know me,
so i beg of you to please just stop.
so i beg of you to please just keep on going as if nothing will make a differnecr when im gone.
i beg of you to stop defending me.
i beg of you to stop saying i impressed you with my being quiet when thats who i aam, i beg of you to stop being so danm ignoraant.
i beg of you to open your eyes.
for thats all i want.
open your eyes, and seee that i am me and you are you,
and that that's
what it simply
is.
so
i
beg
of
you
to
p
l
e
a
s
e
open
your
EYES

Let light hold a higher being.

For real!

I'm not worth seeing.
But maybe my ideas might be.

Fasces and olive branch on one side, tails;
wing-ed Phrygian cap on the head
of an image of the spirit of
Liberty, a fem.
Heads.

Dimes in the olden times,
when I was born,
1948,

dimes in America in those days
symbolized a long known
goodness for all men,
included in
we, the people, which includes
me.

Me and thee, we are we, only by virtue of my
words being written and your reading
of the same within our
terms of endearment
cookie.

Each we we are in, let us call a set,
but that confuses us, fuses us
to gether.
So, let's seee

See it like this. I am good. I repel wrong and
act right,
asif I were
polarized live in op
position to evil

evil live, have you seen it? Live,
did it prosper in your presence or was peace the final state?

Just, now. Please plea with your knower, don't lie.
Say never all you wish, however never lie
against the truth.

To thine own self, et al... y'know

in each generation of earth borne,
one hero is reared to play your role, dear reader.
Fret not,

know wisdom has been maligned as
calling us through each position
of the fool... there is a map
of these positions in a statuary garden
behind the temple of the golden buddha

in Bankok, visited with Mr. Boo in 1968.

I remember none of the poses but ai knows they form
a pyramid,
i
imagine it
peaks in some backward
footed kundalini pose,

which is *******. I imagined. Wisdom is gentle
and easy to be entreated, okeh, heko.

"Who am i?" I ask myself,
Nobody can tell me,
Nobody can teach me,
Who am i and what i need is
Something i need to figure out myself.

I finally get my answer,
I'm me .
I am what am meant to be,
I am as bad as the worst,
But thankhod as good as the best.

For me what you seee is,
What you get.
Yes you may call me naive,
But i love my life.
I am happy
And for that my freind,
I make no appologies.

I hav had some up's and downs
Super highs and some really low lows
I dont regret what i hav been through,
Cause i know i hav been blessed with my life,
And rewarded with hood freinds,family and good health.

I am not in a competition,
With anyone else,
I am in a race of my own.
I hav no desire to the game of being better,
I just aim to improve.

I am selfish,impateint and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I'm out of controll
And sometimes i am hard to handle,
But if you cannot handle me at my worst,
Then you don't deserve my best.

I would rather be hated for who i am,
Than being loved for whom am not.

I am unique,
I am speacial.
I am who i am meant to be,
I am me :-),
And. thats all

I'll ever be.

I don't pity poverty.
Low lives disgust me.
Undependable if you can't count on yourself.
Who can you count on?
Sell you're ss for some quick cash
Dance naked for money
to find yourself a rich honey.
Get a minimum wage job.
So you're not a broke-ss slob.
Work the night shift and get robbed.
Don't out of fear ever sob.
Bad karma is their flaw.
Their sin is what you saw.
They'all be snatched my Hell's claw.
Your sinning soul peeled raw.
Try to challenge me and I'll sock your jaw.
You broke the law.
Don't even try to deny it by saying "nah".
Your fingerprints are left by your ***** paws.
Guilty as Sin.
The devil wants you in.
He always knew your life was *******.
Don't act so surprised to see your demise.
Nobody will hear your cries.
Hell's door is open for souls to be floating.
You ruined your own self.
From the cards you're dealt.
When the Devil seee you sin he smiles for every d*mn child.
Greedy and selfish you're two of a kind.
Soulless without a good friend
You will pay for all your crimes time that never ends.
A will that bends.
A messages that never sends.
Hope & pathetic with no logic.
Out of touch & out of focus.
No Hocus Pocus.
You stand in a line up.
A finger points you out.
Without any doubt.
Go ahead and pout.
No one will care that you're sad.
You're getting so mad.
The system is glad.
No parole.
Thanks to the tax payers bank roll.
Pay karma's toll.
You gargoyle troll.

So here we go again. Another chase for you that leads me into the maze that is my mind and the locked door of my heart is what I strive to find. Sand fading from the hour glass and I rush to the sound of your voice that seems to dissipate in growing mist that seems to rise from the ground like roses in spring. Oh, how I wish to find you, oh how I long for you, oh how I have my arms stretched toward you and yet you still turn away. This person you see, is it really me? Or has this demon taken me away to far into the abyss to the point you cant see what is a reality? Droning my pain in the cold of the weather and tears that seem to set a blaze to the lands that we once crossed upon and to leave nothing in his wake this demon seeks for you. How I wish to clash with this forsaken beast, but the beast is I. I am not but a man, but an animals driving by instincts and the will to ****, but this man that I am fights for your grace and hold on to this candle in the dead of night. But why cant you seee this flicker in the darkness? Has your own demons blinded you to the point that a vial cast over your eyes and leaves you in a game of who is there? Oh how this game for fear seems to declare us as its host, like a parasite feeds upon the most. This betrayal of our minds can only be stopped by our hearts, yet with pure intentions to warm us we cant feel our selves grow cold. How I wish I could warm my hands upon thee, but you face fades from my mind in the ice winds that seems to cool my soul. Oh how I wish you could hear my cries of your name, oh how I wish you could see the real me that you've always needed me to be. My loneliness is the price I must pay, to get this demon at bay, so now you can stay in a world without harm and pain as my sins wash away I hope you hear me say.... I love you.

Life leaps sometimes far from here
into brutazl realitiesx
of resons i dare not seee
desxtinies of ub=nivertses
wshaere shred redalitise are ubdersyood
and kirttebs cute and innocents are brutally tpook
cruelly
mama sits trying to nurse the dead
teh dead cannot be nursed

Why  is it so hard finding love
People  give  up  at  the start
Too lazy get know each  other
Put the work  in and  leave the past in the past
The mistake of others put on you
Here are my flaws
I show you who I am
I bring no faded images
You wanted perfect  
but  have flaws
here  is me  
A  man who wears  his heart  for the world  to seee

Death stopped by the local coffee shop the other day
sat down and said to me
"What the **** is wrong with you PEOPLE!?!?
You have me working non-stop
I never get a moments break
The only family I ever see is War and Despair
Dream, Life, and Love won't even talk to me
And ever time I seee War
all we do Is sob uncontrollably
Despair is the only one you've made happy
and she is absolutely miserable about that
SERIOUSLY... what is wrong with all of you?"
She paused, stole my coffee
Got up, flipped me the bird
and as she walked away said
"I'm done... you are all on your own..."
And I wondered what would we all do
with all our hate in a world without Death
In a world where we couldn't run around
senselessly killing each other

Its too late to comprehend the state of feelings
That were once part of the Art
Those led my pen scribble something great
Gave my heart strength of steel
Made me one of a kind!!
Its too late now my love
To write about that well defined love
Exists in histories
Where once i belonged to,
Being a great devotee
Making my soul encircling the whole aroma
As a sole new born breather!!!
Its too late even to say i am finding ways,
Or my heart trembling to feel the touch of time,
Its too silent now
Like a dead land,
Where if a dark lead fall, it starves to death!!
My whole idelogy being broken
And scrumbled to one lifeless feel,
Lif changes you, but this much transition!!; u see such in dead, when a body is irreplaceably decayed,
U seee such not in ordinary,
For those paths were never meant for me!!!

A place to soar!

A BUTTERFLY'S SHADOW

her words
a butterfly's shadow
flitting from flower to stone

a broken cobweb trying to
attach itself to a sunset
words not said

tearstearstears
"Breathe with me.." says the sea
"Shhhhh...seee....shhhhh!"

the stranger has your ringtone
also your eyes...hair
& smile

she passes by
like a ghost of you
I cry

strangers everywhere
pretending to be you
statues to my grief

dark night
a cigarette glow
marches up&down& down&up

every so...often
the glowworm glow
of a mobile phone

the cigarette cast aside
an arc to the right
footsteps walk away into the dark

Dear self
Just look back,
Seee,
I made  a room
I made time
I showed up.
I didnt say much but i peeped alot.
I made sure they had it.
An access to the little light, it was always there when they needed it.
But the half stepping ***** couldnt even take time to understand my darkness.
I ripped my heart out and served it on a silver platter.
And all they could say is' we didnt ask for it"

Dear self
See,  i overextended myself
But it wasnt enough
I dont mean to embarrass or shame you but see how it was all one sided.
I told you but with your head held high you said" Dont **** up a good thing by digging too much"
Now you cant  be there for yourself when you need it most.
You could have stayed strangers
You could have stayed indoors and cooks rice one by one.
But  now thats pointless...

By: Cedric McClester

I’d havta be
A dounce
To wanna see it again
Having seen it once
You and Britney
Locking lips
After y’all have already
Cashed in those chips

Madonna I’ll  try
To explain
Y’all left the station
On that train
To do it again
Would just be insane
And I’m simply tryin
To make it plain

It was shocking
Once upon a time
Since then many
Have copied your paradigm
To reenact it
Would be a crime
Like words out of
The mouth of a mime

Madonna please
Listen to me
You’re no longer a teenager
You’re in fact sixty-three
Though a rebel
You might always be
Age has caught up with you
Don’t cha seee









Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2022.  All rights reserved.

I know. I feel it.
I am no pristine water but
neither I am a muddy one
my waters are clear enough to see through
and safe enough to drink from
Yet for reasons unbeknownst to me
you try so hard to be the rocks that swim in me
despite the fact that my waters
keep on carrying you to the shores
away and away from me

don’t you seee?
as a rock
you keep on stirring waves in me
and these waves keep on pushing you
further and further away

These places
Lose faces
And shut down the blinds

These places
Lose faces
And lock and the doors

These floors
Abhor
Any trace of what could have been

These floors
Abhor
Any trace of what might have been

Shut down, find no trace of them.

(**** them) (**** them) (**** them)
Relax
The ending comes slowly

Relax
Don't forget to breathe

Their hands
All on me
Emptying my everything

I am becoming you
My first
The prettiest little corpse

Don't forget to breathe
wait WHAT came first//
\See me. bE mE/

a s
      phy
              xiat
                      ing

She holds
Inside
All your little lies
She holds
Inside
All the sins of mankind
Filthy womb
Inside my mind
Filthy tomb
I can't find
Filthy
My way
Filthy
Out of
Filthy
This place
Help
Suffer
Me
Help
Suffer
Me

The page
Grows longer
Every day
The page
Grows longer
In every way

Don't look
They can't see
Don't look
Or you'll find, see
See?
Seee?
Seeeeeeeeeeeeee?e
e?
eeeeeee?

He comes
Inside of me
He comes
The night filled with ecstasy
Then comes
the death of
M
e

Ripping limbs
All of them
Tearing away


Rend
Love
Tearing a hole
Right through

You don't need to know
None of us needs to know
We're held there with our eyes pried open and forced to watch as the end is televised
                                    and
                                            we beg for more
                                                                           like oil thirsty ******
     we
           alll
                  want
                             blood
                                        we
                                              all
                                                   slow
                                                            down
                                                                       to watch
                                                                                       the
                                                                                                 p
                                                                                                 r
                                                                                                 e
                                                                                                 e
                                                                                                 t
                                                                                                 y
                                                         car
                                                          w
                                                           r
                                                           e
                                                           c
                                                           k