Journal of Darkness: Assassin and Deceptress


Nov 21, 2011, 8:17:32 PM by ~OmegaWolfOfWinter
Journals / Personal




(description of storyline: all characters in this work are dragons, with the ability to change into a human form. they live in present day society, but have a base in the middle of the desert. there is a library with the history of the world, which is operated by stacra, an organization to preserve the peace in the world. there is a rival organization, the dracra, who wish to take it over. the dracra is led by a dragon named Darkheart, a dragon who has haunted the Scar line for millenia.)
"... sahsa...."
what was that mumbled sasha, a small town girl in modern day USA. she was nearly asleep when the voice called to her.
sasha was usually described as a freak. she was a dragon fanatic, and she carried her favorite books wherever she went, Brink of Insanity: journal of the Wild and the Broken; and its companion, Blood curse:  journal of the Destroyer and the Savage. they told of dragons living in new york who had to bear a family curse and sought a way to release it. the author was only known as "Lucian".
"....sasha...."
i'm sure i heard it that time...
"....come to me sasha...."
she didnt know why but she felt as if she absolutely had to find the source. she was barely clothed but quietly snuck out, leaving small footprints in the snow.
"....sasha!...."
she felt panicked. as the voice grew louder so did her heart, beating quickly in her ears. some sort of animal instinct took over and she somehow Managed to run on all fours. her whole body began tingling, her skin writhing. she looked back and nearly choked: wings and a tail... had grown from her body. her whole body turned white as scales etched their way into life over her skin. her body began elongating and enlarging, becoming streamlined and lizardlike. she was transforming...
"...yes!... just as you said, master...."
"...quiet, kovu..."
sashas vision went dark as she stumbled, barrelling through the snow. when she looked up, she saw an enormous dragon, with scars just like the ones in her book. "she will be a fine student."
sasha was dumbfounded as she saw her parents walk up behind them. "greetings, master Lucian, kovu." said her father.
"and you, rydon."
"y-you...know...?" stammered sasha.
"all will be explained in the morning, sasha," replied her mother.
sasha felt tired and her eyes shut as the ground came up to meet her.
sasha sat alone at the picnic table, surrounded by lucian, her father rydon, her mother sophia, and kovu. "so... you're all.... dragons.... like in my books..." she gestured to the two books.
lucian stepped forward and placed a hand on the books. his hand glowed and the glossy books turned to worn, leather journals. "yes, we are dragons. sasha. and you have done well guarding my journals."
"your... journals? but i thought that these were best-selling novels..."
lucian chuckled, "no no. young one, there are only two other copies of each of these in existence."
"wow..."
her father spoke up now, "so what are you here for, master? is it time for her to leave us?"
"leave?! what do you mean leave?!"
rydon looked worriedly at lucian and then at sasha,"you are dragon, and it is tradition for you to be trained."
"but what if i dont want to leave?!"
her father began to become angry,"its not your choice!"
"then whose-"
lucian's eyes glowed red in anger, "rydon, haven't you taught your daughter respect? surely you would know of my ways by now."
rydon nodded, "i- i'm sorry, master. i don't know whats come over her."
sasha ran, shifting to her new dragon form and flying away. darkheart had warned her of this, that lucian was a dictatoria leader. she asked herself, "why had her father taken his side? why did this have to happen so suddenly? and most of all, what was she going to do next?"
darkheart had given her directions to meet her after lucian made contact. sasha flew, tired as she was not used to the extra limbs.
once she reached the spot that darkheart had told her, she waited and thought things through.
once darkheart arrived, she spoke, "i want to join you. i beleive everything you've said."
darkheart chuckled, "i knew you would dear girl, lucian is the same as his grandfather, they both hounded me and tortured me, for their own twisted ways. i've tried to keep as many as possible from falling into their cluthces. i wasn't able to **** scarheart, as he captured me and forced me into his own body as an energy slave. he tortured me even there, and after he died, lucian, his grandson, got me. he too tortured me."
sasha looked at her in sock, "thats terrible. i didnt know..."
"you couldnt have, darling. those evil dragons keep everything from those who should know."
sasha stood, "i want to be trained. by you."
"really? i warn you, it is quite tough. not all survive. you must be willing to do whatever it takes to stop those vile dragons."
*     *     * 3 years later
sasha was 20 years old, and it was time for her to take on her first big mission: infiltrate lucian's schol and learn everything she could.
sasha had already talked to lucian, apologizing for her behavior so long ago. lucian had seemed hesitant but allowed her in. foolish old bat. she thought. she had been at the compund for a year and a half now and had become familiar with their ways.  sasha would often wonder why she was doing this, and she remembered, darkheart had said that lucian killed sashs's father. she always looked at him with scorn and wished to **** him. but she restrained herself and kept on the facade.
today she felt especially hating towards every master she came in contact with. she passed tsai, lucian's right hand dragon, as he went to talk with the master. she tried to eavesdrop but they were speaking in an ancient, coded language. she growled and her white scales flashed in the sun.


"Lucian, somethings not right about that youngling sasha... she's always watching us, like she's gathering information."
"yes, tsai, i know. i know exactly what she is."
"what?" tsai looked skeptical.
"she's an agent, an informant. for darkheart."
tsai stared, incredulous."wha?! how do you know?!"
"ive been under the influence of darkheart before, as have you. something about sasha is of darkheart's doing."
tsai nodded "even still, is she possessed by her or under orders?"
lucian thought for a moment "i beleive under orders..."
both stared as lucian's son, kovu, walked up to sasha.
*       *        
"sasha! hi!" kovu had taken a liking to sasha since his father took her as an apprentice.
"oh, um. hi. kovu..." *i cant let my emotions get in the way of my mission! "how have you been?" sasha felt herself blush under the gaze of the drake. he wasnt half-bad to look at, and she often caught herself watching him.
"i'm doing great, training with tsai is always fun. what about you and master lucian?"
her eyes darted to her master, her target, then back at kovu. "you mean you're... dad?"
"yeah... my dad... but we students can only call them by their designation. even master scaleweaver calls some elders master."
sasha's ears pricked up as she heard scaleweaver's name. she was assigned to gather information on all of the masters. i must make madame darkheart proud... i am worthy... she must see that...
"is... something wrong, sasha?"
she caught herself, "n-no i'm just tired is all... just tired..."
her master lucian came toward her what a fool, he doesnt even know about me... "sasha, i need to speak with you.... alone."
kovu difpped his head and backed away respectfully.
"sasha, come."
she swallowed her pride and said, "yes... master..." and followed him.
once they were outside, lucian turned to her and said, "i know, sasha. i know that darkheart sent u here to gather information on us."
sasha's eyes widened and her mouth dropped. she thought hard how?! how does he know?! this cant be possible....
"i-i dont know what youre talking about, master..."
lucian turned on her with a peircing gaze, and made her wince as he studied her. "there are better ways to lie, youngling... but not to me. ive known for quite some time now."
sasha felt her legs give out beneath her. she sat, looking into the dust, listening incredulously at lucian. "how... how do you know?!?!"
sasha ran forward, clawing at lucian's throat. she was instantly frozen in place, an immensely strong spell holding her legs in place.  "let me go, lucian!"
"its master to you, youngling. and why would i let you go? you just tried to **** me." sasha struggled helplessly against her bonds. she saw lucian mutter something and felt her legs grow suddenly cold. she looked and gasped as ice started to creep up her haunches.
"lucia-master, please let me go... i was only under orders."
lucian chuckled, "how did darkheart get to you?"
"i can't tell you..."
"oh? then let me guess; theres another informant, a higher up in stacra, who told darkheart about you and she arrived, possibly a week before us? she fed you a story of stacra destroying the world and trying to take over the one that they created. she told you that she was only trying to help restore order. am i close?"
sasha felt naked under the gaze of the elder, who saw straight through her act and through her commander's plan. it made her heart quicken and her scales writhe. she felt a sharp pain as the ice crept up and chilled her thighs, creeping steadily upwards. "how... how can you know these things?! darkheart said you wouldnt be able to know... she said that you held her prisoner... that you tortured her... she said that you- you killed my father."
lucian shook his head and wiped something from his face, revealing gruesome scars. "she altered her face to look like mine... look, and know the truth." he placed a claw on her forehead and she gasped as a flood of memories flooded her, darkheart inside lucian's mind, taking over him, taunting him, and forcing him to do terrible things. she heard lucian say, "she tortured me, she held me captive. its true that stacra destroyed the world, but look also;" she saw the corrupt government of old, and their wretched attrocities. "they brought about their own destruction. we created the world you know, but dont wish it to be taken over, we merely want peace...We act as peacekeepers. darkheart seeks to enslave all to do her bidding. and your father died at darkheart's talons, not mine." sasha saw a gruesome scene as lucian tried to save her father.
she felt him withdraw, and felt the magic and ice withdraw from her, the ice's touch fading from her ****. she shivered and crouched low, warming her body.
"sasha, darkheart is a liar... she's been at it for thousands of years." he watched her shiver and said. "come, sit around the fire."
sasha noddded and followed close behind lucian, hiding her vulnerable state.
"i'm sorry, master."
"all will be okay, sasha... all will be fine.."
lucian brought sasha into his study under his wing. he had her sit down in front of the fire and draped a blanket over her. he sat down behind her, looking over the latest reports, waiting for her to speak. after a few minutes she sighed and looked back at lucian, tears forming in her eyes. "is everything you said true? Is darkheart nothing but a deceptionist?"
lucian looked up at her and nodded. "all of it was true. I'm sorry, sasha. darkheart is a gifted deceptionist and many of us have fallen for her tricks.  including me."
sasha turned back and looked into the fire with sad eyes, tears rolling down her cheek. she shuddered and took a shaky breath. lucian came up beside her and placed a comforting paw on her shoulder.
"darkheart forced me to **** my best friend... a she-drake named Clia... in front of her other followers to show that we must be able to turn on anyone to fulfill the mission..."
lucian nodded, "so I had heard... darkheart has become more cruel than ever."
"l-lucian, what can i do to make her pay?"
lucian thought for a while and then shook his head. "let me think more on this, sasha. for now, let no one know that you are an affiliate of darkheart, it could have deadly consequence. you may remain in here if you wish, or you may return to your own quarters. i have some things to attend to."
sasha nodded to him and gasped as everything went still and dimmed, even the fire seemed grey and frozen.
"wha-"
"sasha... you must tell me now, will you work with me?"
she was stunned. "where are you? what do you mean?"
"you want to get back at her, i know how to. but you must tell me if you will work with me."
"i-i will, lucian. but whhy ask now, and in this way?"
"because, there is someone here, that is going to try to **** you. he was listening to us and is going to attack you with magic. ive cast a spell that will give an apearance of death. just let the magic do its stuff and u'll do fine">
"but wait!"
"you must trust me, sasha."
all of a sudden, everything went back to normal, and lucian was gone, she could hear his fading footsteps.
what was that abou- wait! the killer... she kept facing the fire and listened as she had been taught to the clawsteps of the incoming dragon.
"is it true? you're one of them?!"
sasha turned and gasped, flashing him a shocked, innocent look over her shoulder. "what are you talking about, kovu?"
he was angry, and she was struck with fear. "i overheard you and lucian talking. i heard everything."
sasha turned to face him."y-you, heard everything..."
"then you are one of them! i cant beleive it... i cant beleive i trusted you."
kovu stepped forward and sasha's eyes shifted, trying to find a way out. "kovu, i- i can explain."
"you're nothing but a trickster, a deceptress! dont try to talk me out of this."
her heartbeat quickened, stricken with dread. "out of... out of what, kovu?"
he said nothing but uttered the death spell.
*      *    
sasha let herself go, remembering lucian's spell. but as she did so, she thought about why she was doing this. *to make darkheart suffer... she heard lucian in her mind. "you'll be going to death-sleep for a while, a few days to make it beleivable. now sleep, sasha... sleep and i will awaken you soon."
"o-okay, master lucian..."
"there is no need to call me master anymore, sasha. from now on, you no longer exist. which is why darkheart will never see you coming. its time... dont worry."
the death-sleep overcame her and she fell to darkness.
*   * *
lucian ran downstairs and saw kovu standing over sasha's body. he put on a facade of dread and said, "kovu.... what have you done?!"
kovu looked at lucian angrily. "you were going to harbor a killer... i took care of the problem."
lucian became angry now, "no, you made more problems. you didnt think... you didnt listen. she was willing to help."
kovu snarled at lucian, "i did what needed to be done. I killed her for you, father."
lucian responded quietly, "you killed a helpless dragoness in cold blood. i have no choice but to arrest you for ******, my son." he muttered a binding spell and blocked kovu's magic. he watched kovu struggle for a moment then went to pick up sasha's seemingly lifeless body. he contacted her mentally, saying, "i'm taking your body in to the infirmary, i'll oversee your examination. in 2 days, i will wake you, when i do, be very quiet."
"yes, sir."
sasha's new appearance was stunning, quite different from the black color of her original scales, she now looked like each scale was a glittering saphire, and her horns and underside were now a shimmering silver. sasha was astonished by what lucian had done, he had also changed her voice and form, making her more slender and agile, he altered her voice in such a way that it seemed that she could charm the heart out of a rock. even lucian who had a mate of his own had to keep himself composed. but he was undoubtedly pleased that things were turning out well. lucian had to change everything about her, her eyes now a deep green, her draconic fingerprint being her tail-tip and spine, were changed to furry mane and a slender diamond tip.
she looked at herself in amirror and remarked how mature she looked.
"you may have to be put in certain situations which may have you exploit some... erm... feminine charms."
"so i'll have to...."
"only if you let it go that far. it depends on you. you said that you'd  do anything to get back at darkheart. these matters are up to your own discretion."
she thought long about this. "i want to g

The great pines stand
Laden with heavy snow
Waters flow unseen
Hidden below thick sheets of ice
I caught a glimpse of her once
Or at least I believe I did
That woman long golden hair
Who walks barefoot in the snow
Signing her odd melodies
I have heard nothing like it
In all my many years
Oft I sit at the end of the woods
By the wide river bank
Hoping to hear her
Somewhere off in the distance
On but two occasions in my life
Were my ears so lucky
To be graced by her voice
I was in awe of her
And yet I was fearful
For I know she was not one of us
The old stories say she came from heaven
From a place above the sky
I do not pretend to know
Nor do I care, I simply wish
To catch a glimpse of her again
To lock with her peircing blue eyes
Brighter and fresher
Than a spring time stream
To witness her one last time
And to hear her song in full
A faint Aria in the snow

You are my conscience
Whispering the rules of life
But you poisen my head
No I wont listen

Anymore

You say you know whats best
But clearly you still have tribulations
Tiny daggers peircing my esophagus
Keeping me from telling the truth

Not anymore

Will I let you cover my mouth
Bound and gag my own words
I will let them drip out
The way they were meant to

Anymore

And I might stop breathing
Instead I hold onto dear thoughts
They keep me living
Through your pain
Your selfishness inflicting lies

Not Anymore

Will I let you control
My allies are mine
My whimpers were hushed by
The screaming of your lies

No not anymore

The flower once said to the tree "When will my beauty be shown?"
A subtle answer with a seasonal change.
All the flowers are in bloom and spring has arrived.
The flower still repeats a previous asked question. "When will my beauty show?"
The tree still as silent as the dark lonely nights.
The flower is screaming at the tree
Frustrated with greedy thoughts of pure narcissistic nature.
After hours of pleading and screeching at the tree the tree spoke.
His words were hollow and heart peircing.
"Never." He whispered.
For the flower had been so consumed by psyhical beauty it had abandoned thought of internal beauty.
The flower distraught at the tree's harsh words the flower began to whither.
Until all that was left of the flower was crunchy petals and dried up leaves.

And honey
Oh honey,
The songs on the radio
Are just your words in a different voice
And the wind tickling my skin
Is just your voice carried from so far
And the bitter coffee
The reason why I'm doing so well here
Is just your dark humor flowing out of the cup

And honey
Oh honey,
The pillows just don't feel the same without you
And these warm winter days
Seem just as cold without you in my arm
The nights seem just a bit darker
And the future a little bit less clear
Without you now

And honey
Oh honey,
The beating of my heart
Is just you whispering that is wasn't me
And the pain in my chest
Is you breaking the glass that resides there
And water ruining your mascara
Is just the mask you gave me
And the words flowing like the sweet taste of alcohol
Neither of us really want to remember do we?

Honey
Oh honey,
The car seat was as soft as your hand
And the wind in my face
Was being in your presence
And the headlights from other cars
Was your peircing glaze
And the cold in my heart
Was the last thing I have to remember you bye

It Was A Sotrmy Night
The Stars Were Peircing Bright
Her & I
Eye To Eye
Under The Moonlight
Sensations Had Us Anxious
Patience Setting The Mood Right
We Were So Close
We Could Fit In A Coat
Only Souls Under An Oak
3 Am So Maybe No
Except For The Ghost
Poetry Under A Poets Tree
She Was Hugging My Throat
Looking Down From My Shoulder
Reading My Notes
She Whispering In My Ear
So Swift With The Pen Dear
Its Intense
The Wind Just Blows
Illumanted With A Sphere
I Stated You Don't Even Know
Pulled Her To My Heart
Then She Lost Control
I Told Her Lady Breathe
Please Let's Take It Slow
Heavy Breathing
Angels Singing
Jesus We Were Out Of Our Clothes
We Mad Love In The Dark
With Passion Deeply Hard
The Density Of Our Romance
Could Dent Side Of Cars

You walk forward into the thick darkness..
you feel the cool stillness surround you...
the air is crisp..you can breathe
but thats all about to change ..
you take two steps forward like a blind man searching his way around
color doesn't exitst here...the light is dead...
but you must watch your
every
step.
Two steps forward..you feel safe, but no
you start to fall...you yell..grabbing into the black nothingness to stop this scare
suddenly you hear the screams of excrutiating torture..
your mind plays tricks on you.
It cannot possibly be taking you here!
you hit the bottom of some un- known abyss
flames burn under your feet.
but you cannot scream
because here
you have no say.
you see demons surround you..coming close to you with their deathly screams
running into the darkness you hear them behind you..
you run till your feet bleed
you feel them grabbing for your neck..
your arms
your torsoe
grabbing for all that exists of you.
Their howls and screams make your heart skip a beat
Thoughts flood your mind..you cannot think
your choking.
your suffocating
no your dying
your
dead.
the fire consumes your body as the domonic beings
eat your remains inside out..
their teeth dripping with your adrenaline infested blood
their claws peircing your body
ripping you to shreds.
they enjoy to see you better this way..
better than you were when you were living
A view from above. you were left for dead.
you are nothing because you let them catch you
so run..
run as fast as you can
just
r
  u
    n
       because here...life doesn't exist..
you must just..

**die trying

I didnt want to talk about it.

it hung there in its ominous entirety devoid of explaination

the sickening welt in my gut peircing the truth into realisation

it is something that could not be unseen, unheard.

as you finally grasped its magnitude gaping wide open incredulously at the shape of it

I looked away.

I blame you.

but I never said a word.

Silence fills my ears

Silence fills my head

Silence fills my entire being

But I'm constantly drawn to it

It consumes me

Although it's not the silence itself  

It's what lies within it

Im being pulled into the darkness that comes along with the peircing silence

Whatever is lurking througout the darkness and the silence is luring me in

But the darkness slowly starts to become one with me

The silnce slowly fades away as the dark over powers it

Soon enough the beautiful silence is gone and all I am left with is the darkness that will soon over power me as well

But I soon realize that there was never any silcence, only darkness

And the darkness was me.

Whispers , whispers in my head..
"Walk along with me into the darkness , the darkness ..
Entrancing , enthralling ...
Give in , let go.. "

Floating into oblivion
Hope fading away
Pain peircing from within ,
Overwhelming rage..

Whispers, whispers in my head..
" Dont turn away , dont trust them,
   Walk alone , all alone ...
 Blow out that candle ,
Those shadows won't haunt you anymore "

Anger clawing into my bones,
Agony ripping my soul

The never ending spiral..

Whispers, whispers in my head ..
" Descend , descend.. "
" Deeper , Deeper .. "

Mirrors , mirrors all around
Monsters drawing in ..

Whispers, whispers in my head..
" Dont fight them, let your reflections remain.. "

Fear rooting me
Clutching me tight..
I shriek, until my lungs give out
Terror, gripping my throat ..

Whispers , whispers in my head..

" Shhh , dear
There's the blade ."

Whispers, whispers in my head..

" ....Sweet , sweet death  ..."

did you become a monster trying to be like me
love found,
our bitter catastrophe
I announce in small tongues
because I am far past shy
I dwell below the medium of discreet
I fell for that
that
which will never fall for me

secret bliss shared in corners of my mind
to be gazed upon by wolves
devoured in the late night sky

I travel with your mind in my mind
I do understand none of this will ever
be redefined
but I carry you within me regardless
of the bad times

touch the ill pale stricken love side
dive in midnight incubus pools
we lived in the most blackened of times
we drank what was not
but to me, the most red of wine

I sink into the thought of you
you do not love me anymore

I was torn behind you
shredded like pieces of cloth
buried deep into the cemetary in your soul
lost that woman who believed in romance and goth
I smear the dirt from against my cheek
you should see the sadness within me
the ****** blood tangent
the ****** of naked torture
I cover my privates
there is nothing left to hide
prisoners try to escape
I dwell here, numb with the thought of you  

my hands trail behind me

Im going to die
Im going to die right here
admitting this beneath me

tonight
a few hours
man
haunted
kissed
shoulders
hair
trailing
age


there is something hidden between the refined
lips of a staggered feline
tramped like irony against my soul
a birthmark
a cure
hurt
hurt



no escaping
trapped
whole


the understanding
the love that gives out a sigh of death
a sigh of disowning
a sigh of painful living
endured upon me like knives
punching
peircing
reminding
every single drought stricken day

I lay upon my pillow gently
oh yes
I give into all this pain
what else can I do with my small hands that were left
wrinkled and have become prune from living in your rain
what has become of the sickness
the splattered guts and the vain

suffer
detachment
drunk
comfort
drowning
smile nervously
smile hesitantly
smile
remorse
beg
hurt


how can I ever come to play
simply spread my meaning
simply tell the tale of where my soul went when you had gone astray
packed your bags and got on the closest highway
with the word
gay
dripping out the side of my brain
hands curved next to my cheek
fingers twisted
heat overwhelming
panting
screaming

I have learned you

stitched lips

Theres a sickness inside
a false idea
that wants to be nursed
by the same hands thats wretched me from the truth
the truth
is my home

I could be locked into a room with mothers warm linen
clutching you around me
but theres the wild
as it was never strained from me
and it makes me want to overthrow
the comfort
the security of what is that was never materialized
I want free-free-free-dom
I can accept the discomfort
like wet clothes
holding me like a heavy hostage as I roam
I want freedom, I want mobility
because deep inside of me, I know the truth, without it needing to be performed
so much so that it haunts me
every time you kiss me
even in my dreams
dowsed in the warmth
struck with the urge to pull back from a burning flame
as it encircles around my soft flesh
my hard peircing soul
wants to run from the devils gold
so dont you l-l-l-ove me
love me love me
love me
I am free
but the bars of my heart strings push you aside
like a werewolf
my instinctual nature has me tied
in the wilderness
I go back and forth
on the roads that will bring me further from you
when I feel my dreams
consuming all that I see

Shake me sunlight dreamer
Let tears of light echo from the moon
And fade into makeshift horizons
Their presence like warm medication
Seducing the brain
Peircing in a soft delude
As if to warn against the crisp corruption
That so innocently
resonates in the hollow of her naked eyes

In the heat of life,
The "red wheel barrow" of my life is my fan,
Nursing me to rest after the long day,
My misery, my distress, masked by the noise,

The pleasant droning heals the pain of the knife
In which away, I constatly ran.
"Move, move, move, away!"
My fan would always say, as to sleep I deploy.

The sounds of laughter peircing my ears like the fife
In the war, while I lay alone wishing for some man,
To step into my life, save me like the sun's ray on a rainy day,
Who can comfort this little boy?

But the tears dry as the droning fan blows,
And I find comfort as the laughter fades behind the doze,
The buzz, the drone, the comfort of something that reigns constant,
The hum, the static, the constat rant.

It keeps me company.

Lightning
stricking down the worry
peircing through the pain
Thunder
booming the voices to silence
thrashing the care to the side
Freedom
is what i feel
when the sky is full of darkness
and the others are buried in the comfort of their home

little ***** and rings
of metal move
as he talks

three studs,
on his eyebrow
wander like a slugish
overfull caterpillar

the bullring ring in his nose,
condenses with each breath
of the frigid  winter morn

and his earlobes swing and dangle
with blocks and spheres
of a dark wood like substance

I ask him, does that hurt,
he deigns not to answer.....

We get on with the matter
at hand, his idea for a thesis;
with regard to dramatic reflection
in Shakespearean adaptations

He speaks of Othello, Richard III
and Romeo and Juliet....
the use of water, sunglasses and mirrors

I ask if he believes there is 70000+ words
in his exploration of reflection....
all the time watching the metal caterpillar
try to escape the forest of his eyebrow....

He sighs, and the bullring mists over
the ears lobes waggle and waft around.
He states not really sure......but he likes the idea
I send him off to look for other plays
Shakespearean or not that he could include
in this work.....and to come back in a month
with a precis and chapter plan....

He leaves, shoulders slumped, muttering
and I think....I may have added  one more peircing
to his intellectual life

Theres a sickness inside
a false idea
that wants to be nursed
by the same hands thats wretched me from the truth
the truth
is my home

I could be locked into a room with mothers warm linen
clutching you around me
but theres the wild
as it was never strained from me
and it makes me want to overthrow
the comfort
the security of what is that was never materialized
I want free-free-free-dom
I can accept the discomfort
like wet clothes
holding me like a heavy hostage as I roam
I want freedom, I want mobility
because deep inside of me, I know the truth, without it needing to be performed
so much so that it haunts me
every time you kiss me
even in my dreams
dowsed in the warmth
struck with the urge to pull back from a burning flame
as it encircles around my soft flesh
my hard peircing soul
wants to run from the devils gold
so dont you l-l-l-ove me
love me love me
love me
I am free
but the bars of my heart strings push you aside
like a werewolf
my instinctual nature has me tied
in the wilderness
I go back and forth
on the roads that will bring me further from you
when I feel my dreams
consuming all that I see

This could be brilliant,
but the static electricity is eating me,
the cause to the storm is unknown,
and there's poison leaking from your veins,

A story so raw,
Behind the green eyes that gave this world a name,
So bare, so open,

It's breathtaking--

                                        --In the literal sense of the form.

This writing spills like word *****,

The peircing cold is lonely;
but the burning bridges sting,

And it's all we've ever known,
to ****, to hurt, to succeed,
...and to love.

But to run?
My feet can only take me so fast,
and I've learned to give up that past.

The vast unknown I only call home,
The mixed signals and mixed drinks have brought me here,
And I can't shake this feeling,

I am a paradox myself
And no one can know the whole of me.

This anticdote of fables,
My treasure chest filled with lies,
My heart is the bare, lonely story,

**And only the pen can console me.

DEMONS
DEMONS
I feel like I can hear them
but they are not whispering.
the screams are peircing my ears during the middle of the stone cold night.
their faces are horrific
but they have pretty smiles.
theyre quite big, yet they walk for miles.
I know they walk because im followed everywhere I go.
I act like theyre not there and play pretend.
the funny thing is I used to call these demons friends.

A vision so lovely,
A chior of angels songs,
Swimming in broken glass.
Reflected in dark lonely eyes,
A heart peircing stare.

Vulnerable at a glance
And in a word, powerless.

What fragile beauty
That binds my thoughts
Completely,
Trapped in this gaze of wonder.

Alone in the meadow,
on a fog filled night,
the man sits in a watch tower,
looking onward into the night fog


Suddenly,
he sees a peircing light,
coming from a being in the distance,
at first it is unknown,
but as the being gets closer,
he sees


It's a person,
a woman,
walking in the distance,
walking closer to the tower,
all the man can do is stare


As she gets right under the man's tower,
he gets a good look at her face,
so beautiful,
she looks like an angel,
staring at her beauty,
he can't look away


The mysterious woman walks by however,
seems uncurious by the tower,
or by the man in it,
she just passes by


Little is know about this beautiful being,
all the man can do is watch her walk,
walk away,
the woman barely looks,
never stopping her stride,
she leaves the meadow,
leaving the man to hope,
hope she comes back to walk the meadow again

Sit down, put pen to paper
Think.
Nothing comes.
Pen ink spreads out from where the tip touches
A stain on an otherwise blank sheet
A stain that speaks more then the words that won't form
A visual primordial soup of the mind
All mushed up
No clearity or dividing line.
No verbal structure to be defined from the words
From the thoughts
They all are or are not
There is no pattern, or order
Yet no chaos either.
Just ink on paper.
The ink being my thoughts, pouring out unformed and all at once
Spreading out from where the pen rests, unmoving on the paper
Soaking the point of impact till it rips, peircing through.
Still thinking.
Like always having something on the tip of your tougne
But in your mind, your thoughts
It's there yet unformed and unknown.
So again sit down, put pen to paper
And think.

Cloaked in black velvet and silver adorned skull peices. A halo of anxiety sits over my head. The intrusive pornographic thoughts rumble like holograms in front of my minds eye. Iris's and lillys. Dandelions and sunflowers. I want to stick my fingers in all the flowers and taste their pollen on my lips. Fantasia salivation elicted with cowbell bass drops. *** sells in seconds, lust in hours, love in years

Feeling  like a ****** journalist. Her green.hair, another with straight bangs. A septum and ****** peircing peirce me straight through the heart. Its vanity but its a start.
Let me wrap you in eagle feathers and wolf fur. Let me exercise your cowskull traumas, raging buffalo hormones into rebirth
Huff and blow moaned words into ear canals as I enter your eternal.
Infernal like the lusts of hell
Ethanol and bossom busts sell in seconds, Lost in hours with love to fear.
Gold halo of Anxiety paired with a silver skull clad in black velvet
Thrusts of the pelvic
Release whats held in
Redesigned pulpit seldom held words in
Align with me the divinity felt in
*** (in)finite feelings that last in transnce. Slowly peeling away strips of skin to permanance.
Feeling an earnest sense of wonderment. No time to wonder what it meant when impermance is permanent

Smoke cigarettes for the hurt when life has turned to **** but you heard it when i said i love you and you turned a bit. Looked in my eyes and i caught a glimpse of a future id like to witness. Didnt hear a word you said but i saw the world in your eyes instead. Tried to listen but my brain went dead
No words to say when you glow infared. Hotter than the spectrum
of sight. Glowing infared,
Youre hotter than spectrums of light so burn me like Arizona sunlight
Slap ***, hand shaped sunburn from a liquid honey night. *** on lap, lap up the *** like the last watersource, pour it on my face until gasps of air you hear. Taste your pollen near my lips nectarine fallen on your chest.

Feel the lasting affects
Of sexs' (in)finitely affixed fixation on transience. Glowing infared and ambient. Flowing energy in the pits of sacral chakras, returned to the crown and passed back down. Circulating intuitive lessons, divine bits of each other imbued in fission, fuse them into   living. Seperated by the gods as two seperate beings, unite mind, body, soul
Freeing all in estatic feeling.
Peeling all the tragic sealed in
Two seperate beings fleeing
Into impermanance
Towards a permanent form of seeing
3-4-5
666 eyes healing

i follow the prettiest girls
the ones ill never speak to
they are like birds flying around
i am but a worm slithering
through other **** like me
they are out of reach
but when the bird gets hungry
it flys down to devour the  worm
they catch us by suprise
and sweep us
off our nonexistent feet
flying through the sky
with their talons
peircing our chests
they eat us alive

November’s Icy fierce windy freeze
December’s snow quietly dreamed
January every second the longest hour
February told the clouds to shower
March’s moods and loud tantrums
Swelled like waves from the ocean
April grew colors of sweet perfume
May lit up the sky with yellow hues
June pushed me to heal my wounds
July honestly just spoke the truth
August sang sweet melodic harmonies
September walks and her majestic trees
October with its peircing blue skies
November’s landscape caught my eye
December and all it’s glorious white
January snowflakes sparkled in the twilight
February urged me to find my voice
March didn’t give me much of a choice
April is my new absolute favorite
May revealed some dark secrets
June helped me find my happiness
July I felt like myself again!
August taught me I am enough
September’s lessons I listened for once
November is when I fell back in love
December glowed and brightly glistened
the smallest speck as big as infinite space
Each continent sized second has a significant place

Till the day we die
tiny words upon our lips
our eyes drill into the unseen
for us to create what will become.

Late in the day we find
a sunset too soon upon us
rushing down a hush
before our world bloomed to life.

A young impetuous boy
terrible with temptation
taunting the audience
daring them to discover unwanted secrets.

Made sullen, weakened
drunk and unvictorious.
Ripped by a wave called Timeline
that was more monsterous than his provocations,
making no exceptions, just anhilating all without predjudice.

Suntea ripened and flatend
before we could attend to it's invitation
the afternoon sank without us
taking one moment to cuddle amongst ourselves at dusk.

Now evening lolls in, black shoulders knudging
peircing lamps outside disturbing a softer natural dark
buzzing us, alien energy stimulating our eyes, our humors.

Someone orders a drink, and the night becomes lost
as his mind fades to forget his tiny, tiny words.

Enlightened am I?
Si senior!
Lightbeams from umaginitive rhelms shoot down from the desperate heavens
Peircing
Penetrating
Conquering my mortality
Not deceased, just...
Asleep from the slave of me.
The sculptured emprisoned spirit within finally basks in the unruptured blissful state of this lucid life.
...
Its gone.
You're gone.

Her eyes were so beautiful
I hated it
Her hair so saft
I hated it
Her legs so long
I hated it
Her body so shapely
I hated it
Her fight so weak
I loved it
Her screams so peircing
I loved it
Her blood so red
I loved it
Her skin so cold
I loved it