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Robert Guerrero Apr 2013
March 10, 2009
This is my first entry in this diary
My name is Landon
I have one brother
He is the idol of the family
I have to be exactly like him
But I'm nothing in his shadow

March 15, 2009
Story of my life
My girlfriend dumped me
For her best friend
She really broke my heart
I have scars to prove it

March 23, 2009
My dad just beat me again
He said I should of been aborted
He says I'm the reason for his alcoholism
He blames me for my moms death
She died in a car wreck
I was crying in the back

April 5, 2009
I have really nothing left to fight for
My teachers try to help me
They just don't understand my life
Even when I try to explain it
But every body thinks I'm exaggerating

April 7, 2009
Just found out my grandma died
She was the only person I honestly loved
She would bake me cookies
They were the best
She knew how to make me smile
And now she's gone

April 14, 2009
My dad just tried killing me
He choked me half to death
I hate my life
Bet nobody will miss me if I ended it
Maybe I should

April 15, 2009
Best friend talked me off a ledge
I love his crazy ***
He is always there for me
I'm glad he is there for me
Dude is my brother

April 20, 2009
My ex just came to talk to me
She wants me back
Her best friend cheated on her
I told her yes
Maybe that was a mistake

April 24, 2009
Relationship...FAIL
Life...WASTE
FML
Best friend isn't around to help me
I just cut myself again
Whoops got blood on the paper

December 16, 2009
Sorry I haven't written in a while Diary
People probably would think this is gay
For a guy to be writing in a diary
But your the only thing that can listen
To everything I have to say
Quick update though
Nothing has gotten better
Everything has gotten worse

January 1, 2010
I fell in love with a goddess!
She is the best thing that could happen in my life
She is a poet and wrote the most beautiful poem I have ever read
She called me her perfect, beautiful demonic curse
She loves me too
I'm...happy...this is what it feels like huh?

February 14, 2010
I just went on a date with my girlfriend
Came home to my dads fist
It was suppose to be a good day
And an even better evening
She doesn't even know what goes on in my life
I don't want to bring her into this hell

February 20, 2010
She said I was being distant
She asked for an explanation
I told her I couldn't tell her
For her I wasn't going to tell her
She asked if there was another girl
I told her I was loyal like a ******* puppy dog
She still ended up breaking up with me

I just can't do anything right

April 2, 2010
I almost killed myself yesterday
I know it was April Fool's day
But I'm not joking
I'm planning my death I'll keep you posted when I decide
Diary...I love you.

June 14, 2010
I think in about two days I will be prepared
To end my life
Best friend is gone and I can't get a hold of him
Mother is dead and it's my fault according to my father
Father is an alcoholic
Brother doesn't want to listen to me
Nobody cares anymore

June 16, 2010
This will be my final entry
Diary, I'm sorry but I can't take it anymore
I already have 47 different pills ready to take
A 45 locked and loaded
Ready to scatter these unbearable thoughts across prison walls
I already slit my wrist again
Goodbye my friend
I love you

This is Landon's story
A kid that committed suicide
He was 16 years old
He died June 16, 2010
Time unknown
Don't let this be you
I don't want to write your name
Into the Diary of Broken Souls
Taken from the life of a friend. Changed the name of course.
Sonorant Nov 2021
I. Phasmophobia
I am the innumerable gloom of dim, long-buried anthems.
In wistful suspension, I shadow over a living loft in silence.
Tethered between lines, my fog bleeds on panes in knocking
Hawking your dimming faces in the lamplight of my genesis.
Torn the tunnels of their astringed throats, a requiem is reaped.
— ”I was a shape moving rapidly, nervous at the edge of your vision.” -Cynthia Huntington

II. Claustrophobia
I am the small match ignited from the depths of your mind.
My walls blanched absent of evacuation, self invite into
Your personal and private violation, invading every fissure
With icy burns, solidifying your chrysalis on hungry bark.
Your frozen God of smothering doom, a willow devours you.
— “But then I remember the universe was closed, and so very small. There was really no where else to go.” -Peter Watts

III. Ommetaphobia
I am the stricken, scarlet cloth coalesced of cruelty and ichor.
These rawboned talons, cloaked thereof, overtake embrace—
In coarse delight— a piety of prisoners’ silver stark sights.
Perceptive cavities leak my garb as my artistic blade sweeps.
Plucked from the dredges of a briny skull, two diamond orbs.
— ”The hearts hushed secret is in the soft, dark eye." -Letitia Elizabeth Landon
.
IV. Monophobia
I was the cherished friend to you, my twine stitched in your grasp.
A golden balloon unaffected by tides of time and distorting gales.
Alas from this intimate atmosphere shot an arrow, poisonous
Where silently I erupt into a missing memory upon the wind.
As your curtains close, you breathe for me, without a hand to hold.
—”And all I lov’d, I lov’d alone.” -Edgar Allan Poe

V. Arachnophobia
I am the legion of soundless beholders aloft your dormant dreams.
An itch scattered over the crooked spine, arid for pulsing melodies.
This fruitful sapling beckons each dark, angular limb near your neck.
As my lighting strikes erratically, your foolish impulse slow to clutch
Creeping necrosis bestowed by the guardian who claimed your home.
—”The Spider taketh with her hands and is in king’s palaces.” -Proverbs 30:28.

VI. Agoraphobia
I am the ancestral abductor of this rotting womb you deem a shelter.
As the embryo held within, I contract you into tides and bid ‘swim’.
Directions devoid, beyond bolted doors, you plummet to my depths
Where you wish for comforts’ wind but mislaid the method to breathe.
My otherworld encompasses you, whilst I drink in your suffocating.
— ”Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.” -William Thackeray

VII. Ecclesiophobia
I am the black shepherd in martyric masque and a mitre casque.
A discrete imminent sheep cowers, hanging on the hook in my gallery—
My chalice congregates your pure liquor of laments for libertine luxury.
I rise where you fall and smother the lantern of your last mortal minutes
Instilling final grace in the stillness of your veins, my kingdom reigns eternally.
— ”Suffering can be a gift.” - Abbie Bernstein.
Randy Johnson Jul 2021
Thirty years ago, your life was taken away.
You have been deceased for 10,958 days.
You starred in "Bonanza", "Little House On The Prairie" and "Highway To Heaven" as well.
You were very talented and when it came to being a success, you were bound not to fail.
You also guest starred on other TV shows.
You were only 54, that was too young to go.
In 1957, you starred in the pilot episode of "The Restless Gun".
Twenty-seven years later in 1984, you starred in "Sam's Son".
You and Victor French both died of cancer and both of you died at the age of fifty-four.
You and French were buddies and it's sad that neither of you can star in anything anymore.
Dedicated to Michael Landon (1936-1991) who died 30 years ago today on July 1, 1991
MindsPalace Oct 2017
Peter got his very own egg. His had a package of skittles.
Lizzy got her very own egg. Hers had two rolling dice.
Sarah got her very own egg. Hers had a book of riddles.
Landon got his very own egg. His had bean-bags with rice.
Kathy got her very own egg. Hers had a mini clown.
Henry got his very own egg. His had a lock and key
I got my very own egg, and I was jumping up and down
As this was my first egg that was given just for me.
I had reached the age of ten, so now I was allowed
To have my own egg this easter, and boy was I proud.
I took my egg, I tore it open, and what was inside?
What was inside was suddenly something I wanted to hide...
"What's inside?" Asked Peter and Lizzy.
"What'd you get?" Asked Sarah and Landon.
"Is it candy?" Poked Kathy and Henry.
And I ran away, because nothing is a hard companion.
Nothing. My egg had nothing. I tried to let it go...
It really should've been easier as the months went all too slow...
But nothing, good old nothing: It stayed and seemed to grow...
And nothing's now my only friend, and because I made it so.
Anna Aug 2013
The call came
blindsided, heart stunned
eyes hazy from confusion
or tears.

Your habit caught up to you
needle tainted body
dosed with too much
unable to function.

Death inevitable
and I saw how this would play out
but ****
how it stings.

Never to run fingers
across your skin
brush your lips
with mine.

Blue eyes
no longer mine
light fled
as well in my world.

Guess it turned out
I wasn't a reason to stay
and now you have robbed
me of my most prized.

I already miss you.
agony overcomes
as your memory
slips into the abyss.

At least you're no longer in pain.
My sweetheart.
My darling.
My world.
Anna Sep 2013
bruises under my eyes
scars on my wrist
weights on my feet.

unbearably difficult
to function normally
as if i know what normal is.

i relived your death
your funeral
every single day.

i've dreamt of your face
to be harshly woken
by cold reality.
authentic Jan 2015
I wrote a poem once
My Honestly Poem (Revised)
It had a line in it that said
"I am still mixing colors, trying to find one that best fits me when I am around you
When I make this discovery
You will be the first person I call"
I ended it with two words
"I promise"
So, I intend to tell you what those colors are
They start with white
As every new canvas does
White like the color of your truck
White like sugar I put in my coffee on our first date
Downtown, PJ's coffee, you were just as sweet as that spelda, sweeter even
White like the frozen yogurt we got when we first really hung out
White like the white out I am using to cover all of the mistakes we made
Then a pinch of orange
Like the flower we stole off of a table sitting outside of Subway downtown
Like the sunset we watched on the Levi
Like the start of our pumpkin cake that I almost royally destroyed
Or like my Christmas gift, my bear who's name is Barry if you ever did wonder, like The Country Bears
Then dipped in dark red
Like the jacket I wore on our first date
Or the pants I wore on our second
Or like the plastered walls in BJ's
Or the color of your tie and my corsage at Homecoming
Then sweet, dark blue
Like the backdrop for stars that sat in the sky,
the sky we gazed at countless times
Like my blue jeans that you helped me buy
Like the color on your watch
Next, black of course
Like most of the clothes I wore
Like the majority of our attire at homecoming
Like the center of your eyes surrounded by pools of
Green
Greek like the grass we walked over
Green like the grass on the other side
I am still deciding which is greener
Green like your eyes
I know I've said it already
but I cannot seem to remove your eyes from my memory
Even after the green Starbucks where we ended it
Green was always there
Then the slightest pinch of purple
Like the color of my curtains
Like the color of my bed
The one we would lay in together and even though it was tormentingly hot we couldn't help but be close to each other
Then I realized, after all of this painting
I don't have a color after all
Mixed together
In technical terms some would say it was black
Those who have achromatopsia
Would say it was more like black and white or grey
But I wouldn't
Our love was as colorful as ever
It was gaudy and vibrant
It was brilliant, just as we were brilliant
So in conclusion, I call it opalescent
It reflects different colors in different light
We reflect different colors in different light
But in every light, we are beautiful
I'm sorry that hardly any light shines on us anymore
I hope one day it will
I hope it will shine as bright as ever
And maybe we can start back at white
As every new canvas does
wordvango Nov 2016
I am wanting to thank some very incredible people.
I also am hoping others will , also.
With that in mind I would like to list
ten poets here I feel people need to read.
My list consists of poets who are always active and generous ,
have good humor and sense.
I would like others to add their ten to my list.
And hopefully everyone eventually gets a shout out.
In the comments list ten poets you admire and would like to see
others appreciate. I will add  them to this list.
If you would like to list more feel free , the more the merrier, and the more
poets get a shout out and their name shared. I will add as many as you can type!
After all , this is goodwill and spirit and sharing and I feel good .


Vicki
Mark Cleavenger
Terry Collett
Ja
Sally Bayan
Emily Burns
Jules Winerose
Lady RF
Sukanya Sinha Roy
Valsa George
(Bill Hughes contributed the following)
Mary Winslow
Randolph L. Wilson
Elizabeth J
Bex
Ezra Warhol
my dearest reno
Wordvango
Jeff Stier
taia iverson
Dave Hewitt
Kristy Renae Dalton
(added by Eric W)
SPT
Doug Potter
Lola Park
SoulSurvivor
Inevitably Raised By Ducks
(added by Vicki)
Shawna Michele
Spygrandson
r
Woody
Pradip Chattopadhyay
SJR 1000
the seatbelt effect
Sonja Benskin Mesher
Don't Call Me Johnny
nivek
WL Winter
K Mae
Liz Balize
patty m
Pamela Rae
Sean Tierney
William Poppen
Michael Kagan
Biche
Irinia
Mikeccc
Paul Gaffney
Karina Norris Viers
Dawn
Brother Jimmy
Anthony
Phil Roberts
David Ehrgott
Jason Clarke
Angstrom
Jamadhi Verse
born
Weeping Willow
Terry Jordan
Traveler
Tonya Maria
CA Guilfoyle
elizabeth j
Grumpy Thumb
David Patrick O'C
f
(added by Sukanya Sinha Roy)
Eli N
Poetryjournal
Traveller
The Dead Sea
Zero
Nishu Mathur
James Michael Hail
Nagi
Angstorm
(Added by Sjr 1000)
Wardha
nagi
PoetryJournal
My Dystopia
Life's Jump
Bala
Nat Lipstad
Melissa
Ded Poet
Denel
Bex
Luiz Machado
(added by Jamadhi Verse)
Lora Lee
Wild is the Wind
Lalin
Akira Chen
R k
Onoma
Mydystopia
Stephanie
Stephan
Pradip :)
Karishna
(added by elizabeth j)
NB.
Lonely Soldier
Lily Mae
Thomas P Owens Sr
Sir WCA
Midnight Rain
Melissa S.
( added by Lori Jones McCaffery?
James
Kim Johanna Baker
Demonatachick
Elizabeth J
Yasaman Johari
Jean Lin
Lawrence Hall
Landon Miller
Chris Neilson
Pagan Paul
Sun Princess
Elizabeth Squires
Keith Wilson
Emily Rene Dec 2014
Little worries cause my mind to race,
And I can only wonder how you're doing
No one knows how much I miss you,
Don't speak, don't tell, my secret is untold
Only remembering past memories, they're beautiful
No new memories or mistakes to share with you

My mistake was ever taking you for granted,
A mistake that blew up quickly in my face
Drama is not my strong suit, so I ran away
I regret what I said to you & did, & I'd take it back
Sorry doesn't begin to express my feelings on the matter
Oh, I only want to talk to you & be friends again,
Not that it matters anymore

True friendship is like a rose,
we don't realize its beauty
*until it fades...
Courtney shields Nov 2016
Can you walk across this  bridge  with me hold my hand and help me Thur because I don't think I'm go make it Thur the day with no one by my side I tried not to cry and hold it in and stand strong and cover up what's inside I can't anymore I have to cry being strong just won't cut it holding on I'm getting weak so I'm going to fall I feel like  Humpty dumpy all my  pieces are gone broken up all over the  ground  I'm sorry im not good enough for this roll but can you walk across the bridge with me hold my and watch me sleep then leave me at peace....
Anna Sep 2013
i'm so sorry
i'm so sorry, i swear
just wait a minute
don't pull away your hand
and waltz out the door
that you are known to do.

look into my eyes
look into my eyes, i beg
see the tears and the panic
and desperation i cannot contain.

believe me
please believe me that i can change
as long as that means you're with me
as long as it means we'll still be
as long as it means you won't leave.

listen to my voice
listen to my voice, how it shakes
cracks at the two syllables of your name
my most favorite
the most beautiful syllables.

Landon, please,
Landon, you promised
you promised me you wouldn't do this again
what has changed
what have i done
to once again deem me unworthy
of you.
cause i can fix that.
i will do anything just please
please don't give up.
don't break your word.
i believed you
i loved you
i praised you.
was that not enough?

just please
please
stay
this once.
Hillary B Apr 2018
I, like any normal human
keep a list of future names
I started it when I was young
then it was Landon and Ashlynn
kids I knew from school
written in gel glitter pen
in bright pink hues

my list is sorted alphabetically
genders separated as well
it’s followed me from Lisa Frank diaries
to pdfs files
sometimes I add to it often
other times I leave it alone

my list is heavily masculine
I'm not quite sure why
I like boys named Max and Marlon
I like Oskar and Gale too
I have a thing for Old English names
like Arthur and Holden
just to name a few
my boyfriend prefers Ash or Astrid
I like those as well
but, my favorite name is Olin
with one or two L's

I discovered this name on a lost blanket
draped over a fence post by the bay
I'd call him Ollie for fun
Ollie Ollie Oxen free! We’d play
he'd have red hair and freckles
I’d knit him many things
I'd sing him to sleep at night
I'd bake him lots of treats
when he cries I'd hold him tight
whisper that everything is alright

tests continue to be ordered
blood, ultrasounds, and more
results are coming forward
I refuse to see the score
It’s the very thing I’m dreading
I worry that it’s true
seems this list is fruitless
seems I am too
marriegegirl Jul 2014
Comment est ce pour le début parfait à votre mardi?Uber - magnifique détails .les murs du Belmont Center et une robe BHLDN qui vous coupera le souffle briques apparentes .Un combo assez étonnant .non?Eh bien.c'est exactement ce que nous avons pour vous aujourd'hui.un amour - fest romantique conçu par Sara Gillianne Mariages \u0026Événements et capturé en belles images par Jessi Field.Voir tous ici .\u003cp\u003e

un film fou frais de

http://modedomicile.com

chrisdscott Photographie ?Oui robe ceremonie fille .s'il vous plaît.S'il vous plaît mettre à jour votre browserColorsSeasonsFallSettingsUrban SpaceStylesRomanticRustic Elegance
" La maison est où notre amour réside ; Quatre murs .deux coeurs . "

Cela a commencé comme un simple vision dans ma tête .comme je l'imagine la plupart le font .Il est spécial pour moi que parce que mon inspiration robe de mariée courte vient de ma propre relation .Comme une famille de militaires .nos racines sont là où nous avons planté nos pieds .Cela change souvent dans cette situation .Accueil devint où nous nous sommes retrouvés .aussi longtemps que nous étions ensemble .C'est cette notion romantique qui m'a gardé à la terre et est le même que celui qui a inspiré ce tournage .Parfois .tout ce que vous avez vraiment besoin est amour robe ceremonie fille ( et quatre murs ) pour être vraiment «maison».

L'équipe réunie pour ce tournage était tout simplement incroyable .C'était comme des étoiles alignées et tout était comme nous l'avions espéré dans le processus de planification .

Ce tournage était vraiment un rêve devenu réalité pour moi .et j'aime que j'ai eu l' occasion de montrer notre talent local.

Photographie : Jessi Field | Cinématographie : chrisdscott Photographie | Conception de l'événement: Sara Gillianne Mariages et Evénements | Fleurs : Supposey florale de mariage | robe : BHLDN | gâteau de mariage: Kiley Sellette | Réception Lieu: Le Centre Belmont | Maquillage: SarahPeake | cheveux : Maxine Lyvers | Articles faits à la main : Déclarations YOUnique | Hommes : Tenue de soirée de Gent | Modèle: Haven Turner | Modèle: Landon Tewers | Locations Vintage : hemstitch Location de cruBHLDN est un membre de notre Look Book .Pour plus d'informations sur la façon dont les membres sont choisis .cliquez ici
Graff1980 May 2016
Do not make
The mindless masses
Your moral arbitrator
Think don’t just act
And forget about
Your actions later

It is an altar
Of altered skin tones
People prostrate
Themselves
In front of
The mirror
Trying to mirror
Fake reality stars
Forgetting what real
Role models look like
The good guys
Who made art with heart
Set pen to higher purpose
But consumer queens
Who have been digitally remastered
Get more action
Then the masters
How many people
Remember Percy Shelley
Or Michael Landon
Two ages apart
Two different hearts
Who would not abandon
Humanity
Two voices in the desert
One Romantic Poet
And one Tv actor
Hearts held high
They do not lie
But your new age heroes
Breed greed
Sell self interest
I miss that
Age of curiosity
And generation
Of compassion
Mairie Rosina Dec 2014
“Whose heart was breaking for a little love”*
L.E.L
  
Poetesses of old
How I wish that I could fold
You all in my arms –
You who suffered for your art,
Were never recognised or prized,
But who spun lyrics of
Ardour, wit and truth,
Anguish, love and ruth.
It brings tears to my eyes
To think of your lonesome demises;
But your legacy lives on –
Through your pain you made us strong,
Soothed us and moved us
As we perused your
Versified versions of life;
So I thank you
Christina Rossetti,
Elizabeth Barrett Browning,
Letitia Elizabeth Landon –
For when you were told to do nought
You must have sat down and thought
You were worth more than
Motherhood and chores and
So you wrote and you rhymed;
In short, I am inspired.
Anna Aug 2014
At least with Landon I expected it.
Mary Correia Dec 2015
Landon Pigg plays in the background.
His eyes are there in front of mine, staring right back at me,
except they’re not really.
He’s not here and I’m not sure if that’s my fault or his. Who’s the protagonist?
A creatively cut-together camera angle
captures our embrace perfectly, and zooms out on that bed,
on the brick roof,
on the college campus.
Oh, good, this is a college movie,
nice and angsty and brooding as it should be.
My thoughts have a narrator and I imagine myself watched by millions.
(I’m not vain, I’m insecure)
What would mass media think if this life was a movie?
2 out of 5 stars,
not a very wholesome flick,
doesn’t seem to have any moral
or lesson,
or even a continuous plot line for that matter.
authentic Apr 2015
I dreamed that you didn’t hold back
We were standing in a restaurant bathroom
Dim lighting, black walls, tile floors
You were wearing a blue button down shirt
Your hair was tousled and you had bags under your eyes
You were tired of waiting on me
I let my arm around you, stood on the tips of my toes
I remember saying your name, water falling you with compliments
Overwhelming your insecurities, telling them how I love them
Despite what they have learned to believe about themselves
I do not remember all that I said, however, I do remember the ending
I whispered, "Landon," taking a breath, following it with
"You are so sweet and so bitter, you are bitter sweet. You are sweet because…" midsentence I was interrupted by your lips
I did not see this coming, I never would have had it not been a dream
It was so real it was like I could feel my comforter being ripped off of my body
I was pushed against the wall
Wrapped my hands around your neck
Ran my fingers through your hair
You set me on the bathroom counter top
And kissed my neck like you used to
Teasing in a different light, it was not the same feeling
It was rough and I was scared
Because I woke up thinking about
How you might have done something similar to this
With her
Anna Oct 2014
Loving Landon was like stepping into the inferno.
The fire warped my shell, my sheltering cage
and exposed my nerves in oranges and reds.

I knew it would destroy me from the very start.
I knew exactly what I was doing.
But in those moments, my god, I was alive.
Anna Sep 2013
So here I am, drunk out of my ****** mind, legs wobbling like a fawn just learning to walk. I can barely slur the words I want to communicate with the nameless guy next to me, seemingly incapable of speech. Yet your name rings loud and clear. Landon. My mind in a foggy haze, trying to collect itself yet there is only one thought that is as stable as my most sober thought. You. You are always there. In my minds most vulnerable state, I always circle back to you. It will always be you. Don't you get it?
Anna Nov 2014
Surely, I deserve this. My tears are bittersweet irony; they stain my pillow as a mocking reminder of naïvety. This is what I get for believing that he could do no wrong. This is what I get for committing to a person and believing that I could turn his life around.   For dragging him through rehab twice in vain. For walking into his room on July 5th one year ago to find his unconscious body on the floor. For crying to the god that I do not believe in to save the only thing on this ******* miserable world that I love. To not let me lose him again. This is what I get for calling 911, for trying to hold back the tears so they could understand that my boyfriend overdosed on ****** in his bedroom. For waiting all night in the hospital only to be ignored by him for not letting him succeed on his suicide attempt. This is what I get for believing him each time he came back to me. For being the only security in his life.
These past years I have lost a lot. I have watched all of the closest friends drift away. And I held onto Landon with such consuming fear that I might lose all sense of familiarity. But it is so painful to love something that does not want to feel.
I fear I have lost everything in my life. There is no meaning in this life. I have lost mine.
But you have to understand: I love him.
Keith W Fletcher Mar 2017
My friend Darryl had
photochromatic skin
He never knew it till he was almost 19 years old
We met when I reached the age of adult consent
Even though I just spent three years in battle with the post Vietnam War Navy that I had been in
Before escaping the grip of all of those lost and crazy old man of  35
With gray or white hair ******* turned into hooks on one hand or the other
Made to fit coffee cup handles and with faces filled with wrinkles like desert land after a flood

I escaped by walking into the psych ward of the base Hospital through one door and skipping out 3 days later through another
So back in Oklahoma City as far from any ocean as I could possibly be
Summer came along and waved goodbye but took Autumn away with it leaving me in the middle of December
Frost covered and freezing I became aware of the shortcomings in me
So shivering myself back into reality I managed somehow made it to April and a one year gone that I could barely  remember

Buckling down I find a nice little cottage in this old lady's backyard
She gave me homemade cookies and goat's milk she always had frozen in the freezer
Took a job invading the Suburban domain of dogs to gather garbage trying  not to get scarred
Three or four hours a day paid for 8 me and Darryl and a 200-year old geezer

The old man drove the truck and had a corn cob pipe permanently stuck
Between corn kernel teeth that he could revolve and then keep  smoking in the rain
But he was cool and dropped us off at my house after the shift and and he would return the truck
By June uniform of cut offs tennis shoes and no shirt I had a good tan  but Daryls was freaking insane
And this was something while growing up that he never really knew

This was his first year being away from home and the strict Nazarene discipline
Where all shirts had to be white with long sleeves  buttoned up to the collar and  to the wrist
So it was fun to watch him awakening as his hair grew into curls Michael Landon looks super tan and handsome
Maybe I was a bit jealous but I was also happy to watch his confusion as those things became something the girls couldn't resist

We spent our afternoons in the places where pool tables and foosball and girls were played under florescent light
Here he learned something else that he never knew and I saw something I had never ever seen
So I'd get other people to go out to see it and verify that I was right
Three hours under fluorescent light and within three minutes of sun he would darken back to mahogany from an olive green

I'm telling you it was weird  !!!

Late summer ****** his 16 year old brother Dwayne drowned while swimming in a farm pond
And if it wasn't tragic enough the preacher wouldn't let them have the funeral at the Church they grew up in
But he was good enough to say  that he would Preach at the funeral parlor up the street
So with all that was going on that day all the way to the service Daryl I never got a chance to meet

Reasoning being that Dwayne was swimming on a Sunday afternoon which was a sin

So in that crowded Auditorium I was  where I never liked being
10 rows up in front of me Darryl was sitting beside his mom and dad
Somewhere in between was Sharon an old friend of mine that Darryl has been seeing
And if I wasn't uncomfortable enough it was nothing compared to the effect his words had

He was so old with a skull covered by barely enough blue skin  stretched so tight
You could see the veins as he blurted out an unbelievably vicious hateful attack
He was saying Dwayne was in hell and if he could he would come back to tell you not to do what he did because he knows

Yes  he knows he did wrong  and he knows now because of where he is and where he's been
Unbelievably he was saying Dwayne was in hell for swimming on a Sunday as if he had some right to condemn

But with every grotesque punch the old ******* would throw
Darrell's dad would throw up his fist and yell amen
Try as I might to Tamp it down but that anger in me  continue to grow
I was literally on my way up to scream you f** *******
when ........ Darrell threw up his fist and yelled amen

Later that night we were all together and Sharon my old  friend asked me why
So I admitted how close I came before you ...Daryl yelled amen... like your dad
Sharon said I knew ..I knew something was wrong and I wanted to but all I could do was cry
And as Daryl looked at both of us he said I only did that as sarcasm because  I was mad

So you know that little cottage I said I had rented was right down the street
Corner House had an umbrella looking clothes lines right out   front 24/7 covered with white on white long sleeve shirts
So one night about a week later me and a pair of scissors went down the road and came back with 42 sleeves white as sheets
Thinking that'll get him right where it hurts.... hateful *******

Truthfully I never did but I thought about it many times it's been 40 years and I still regret that I didn't!!!
Fallen Angel Aug 2015
You could be my Jamie and change my troubled ways;
Even be my Savannah who thinks about me everyday.
You could also be my Allie and be with me when you remember;
Like Sally and love through all seasons forever and ever.
Be my Victoria and you'll never fear with me in dark nor light;
Be my Rose, such a heavenly love at first sight.
You could play the part of Belle and look past my horrid flaws,
But not like Taylor singing a bunch of break up songs.
I could be your Landon; not even death could do us part.
Even be your John and write you letters from the heart.
I could also be your Noah and always be by your side;
Like Jack put away all my selfish pride.
Be your Victor and know who I'm married to;
Be your Jack and give my life for you.
I could play the part of Beast and keep no record of your wrongs,
But instead, I'm just like Bruno singing these **** break up songs..
a fatuous ****** was
a mystery
while political recovery went
to Landon
with a host of boomers
that threw in their towels
and modular things
like miniskirts
that accentuated their legs
with gratitude of marks
whether paper may trigger darkness
while without clement
in stranger areas of lament
that cry for their cement
as Alfred was a governor of Kansas
18 bullets & 1 arrow (through the chest).
He suffered no permanent damage.
N.W.O.-owned corporations promote the freshest of youthful faces
having Hillary F. Clinton lesbian relations in crowded public places
Moral citizens must subdue these shrub-scouts with military maces
then bind them together with cheap lamp cord, twine & shoe laces,
before scrubbing the scene clean to obliterate all ****-diving traces
from mobs bleeding the white-funded black & sallow yellow races,
they take up  phony causes in nine of ten clinically-disproven cases
running Manchurian patsies & *** kittens through menticidal paces
A rosy future belongs to normal people, the more normal the better,
folks who appreciate normal things: normal pets like an Irish setter
and paying a street ***** with cash because she's a chronic debtor,
and yet her ****'s an amiable fellow: truly a self-starting go-getter
who crochets booties for newborns & obeys some laws to the letter
How many movies in Maine feature a crapped-out Joan Fontaine?
How much glucosamine does a diseased cow's leg bone contain?
There were no gregarious bean bakers in Hooterville's Green Acres
nor big queen Quakers, fatuous lean takers, spliced spleen shakers,
seldom-seen fakers, farmers as keen rakers, men called teen takers
Low sugar metabolism makes a chick act like Portland Hoffa Allen
in that she'll scarf like a starved pig, piggishly hogging water melon
or muskmelon or any melon that Montreal-melon sellers are sellin'
to your average Trenton mobster, fugitive or romantic paroled felon
who'd **** with depleted uranium Arab babies by incessant shellin'
& get away with it because America's corporate media ain't a-tellin'
just like they didn't tell when 1-dollar milk sold for 1 buck a gallon
and Americans wondered if Michael Jackson & Billy Jean'd marry
civilly in Dominica even though he was a pæderastic-gay-bait fairy
preferring to make it with some 11-year-old paper boy named Gary
in the ***** fields of Michael Landon's Little House on the Prairie
where S.A.G. cows grazed to produce cream for N.B.C'.s T.V. dairy
that made Victor French's fancy ice cream: French vanilla & cherry
that even Melissa Gilbert couldn't resist, who was so often contrary
on the set 'cause her adolescent mood swings did menstrually vary
in the '70's when broads were sexier as they were much more hairy
than “Johnny B. Goode” singer & women's room spy Chuck Berry,
who married a cousin who was flittier than Heinz queer John Kerry
& 6 points stupider than the porcupine stooge: old anti-Christ Larry
who chose his sister-in-law's sister as the bride most likely to marry
whose dipsomania meant that she'd imbibe fortified wine & sherry
as one could be subbed for the other when all choices ain't arbitrary
within fashion statements decrying the sci-fi of Gene Roddenberry  
while taking pseudo-fictive writings as celestially lunar and literary
masterminded by T.V. cockroach from Hogan's Heroes: Bob Clary
Give to me the possession of my hormones back for full absorption
as I'm keen on resuming the bony splinter means of bone resorption
while admixed by neo-commixed protocols of bio-ecleptic sorption
Let's stomp sun-burnt faces 'cause J. Edgar Hoover was the riddled
manufacturer of Malcolm X from a ***** mulatto known by Little
who scrounged while Jersey burned its cheap, girly skirts for a tittle
No one plays guitar more melodically than does cuchi cuchi Charo
whose passion for nature out-natures that of the lovely Al Malinaro
& the crapped-out juvenile actor who was known as Frankie Darro
whom all Californians knew was as straight as the straightest arrow
unafraid to stay the course & to keep righteously straight & narrow
under the same moral code that's served so well María Mia Farrow
who has sworn off the making of stew using vole, llama or sparrow
yet not excluding the animal delicacies of pancreas & bone marrow  
enjoyed by robbers Bonnie Parker, Buck, Clyde & Blanche Barrow
who, as bandidos Mexicanos, were obliged to steal Mexican dinero
☹ A wild man's on the loose who's hurting tourism as a tourist ******
☹ He's tall & menacing like the guy on T.V.'s F Troop, Forrest Tucker
☹ A ****** is on the prowl and he's ******* tourists as a tourist ******
☹ He looks like that F Troop sergeant O'Rourke, actor Forrest Tucker
☹ A wild ******'s escaped from ******* prison & he's a tourist ******
☹ He is a bad ******* **** like the ****** on F Troop, Forrest Tucker
**** ******, codger dodgers and skinny, Catholicky nuns know it:
lipstick reeks of *** that ain't a mix of beetle-wing slime & bat-****
while granny's shtupped on a V.W. bug dune buggy built from a kit
making it so Martin Luther King, Jr.-easy to be Bayard Rustin's flit
as the Southern Christian Leadership Conference was a ****** pit
before Laura Gemser duped Mike Landon with her Moira Chen bit
recounting plasma trails beneath cytoplasmic effections along a slit
so as to untangle & unfrazzle the tangled, frazzled ends that've split
what will move me further than from where me &  my *** must sit
Folks drunk on joss stick & punk got neurons that makes 'em crawl
There is proof  that Engelbert Humperdinck had more than one ball
when he sings queer-bait Tom Wilson Weinber's “Lesbian  Seagull”
in a voice that is not lesbian-seagull chirpy, ***-crippled-seagull dull
nor as exciting as a muffler's moan from a Sunoco's ****-house stall
whilst in 1945 Desi was balling chicas shorter than Lucille was tall
The constipated man of mystery suffers a clogged, unmitigated gall
as post office toilets aren't for public use like the ******* at the mall
where better offers are pointed like the politico scrawl of Mort Sahl
while sharp leaves that lacerate tails of wipers have softened in fall
Anna Mar 2021
i'm not so sad anymore
but the pain is still there
kinda feels like there's water in my lungs

I watch the headlights go by and think about nights
a long time ago

took too many trips so now whole world spins


feels weird to say goodbye to the only life i've ever known
lay my youth down to rest along with the pills

left the spray paint in the back of my car and drove off a cliff

went to the ocean for a few days and never really came back
left a piece of my heart to drown

can't see the stars out of this window, still hoping I can get a wish soon

find a home in a strange place
never speak above a whisper so no one can find me

wish I could say you loved me but i'm not so sure these days

memories taste like newports

pollute my head, stuck in a haze, rainy days are never enough

once you know demons are real you can't stop seeing them

wish she'd leave me alone
just wanna be me

landon cube on the stereo got my head in the clouds
thinkin about her eyes wish I never fell in love with Judas

got a glass heart but I still haven't glued it back together cause
I lost a couple shards along the way

diet coke dreams still haunt me
Qualyxian Quest Sep 2020
Among Dickens' children:

Alfred Tennyson Dickens. Henry Fielding Dickens. Edward Bulwer-Lytton Dickens. Walter Landon Dickens. Sydney Smith Dickens.

Among Walt Whitman's brothers:

George Washington Whitman. Andrew Jackson Whtman. Thomas Jefferson Whitman.

— The End —