As I picture myself in the future
Through years of HRT
Small glimmers of excitement
Reflect off the walls of my heart
I rarely feel excitement these days
So this instance is important
I picture ****** hair and muscles
A deepened voice ands flat chest
The physical changes excite me
It's the social ones that scare me
I cannot imagine having male privilege
I cannot imagine not feeling objectified
I cannot imagine being read as a man
I was raised in a position of oppression
I am constantly stared at and made into
Nothing more than the prospect of my genitals
And yet,
One day,
It will no longer be that way
I'll just look like a basic white boy
And they'll have no idea
Except that I will not stay silent
I will not hide in the shadows
I am transmasculine and nonbinary
And I refuse to remain invisible

S = Sweet & or a Sensitive Feminine Female
T = Totally a Feminine Female
A = Absolutely a Feminine Female
C = Cute & or a Caring Feminine Female
I = Intelligent Feminine Female
E = Excited & or an Enthusiastic Feminine Female / Girl / Woman    -      -                 At & For the Present and Into the Future  
      
*********

L = Loving & or a Lovable Feminine Female
E = Ear's Pierced , Tired of Clip On's , ( The Pain & Torture )
E = Entertaining HRT , ( Hormone Replacement Therapy )
L = Leelah ( Picked & Dedicated in Memory of ) - (  Leelah Alcorn )
A = All About Helping & Being There for Other's
H = Honoring ( Leelah Alcorn's ) Final Request , Too Not Let Her -                -                         Death be In Vain - ( 11/15/97 to 12/28/14 )

********

C = Cuddle able & Caring Feminine Female
H = Hair That is Eventually Long & Very Beautiful
E =  Eye's That See the Good in All People
Y = Young at Heart & A Very Beautiful Feminine Female
E = Eating Healthier , So I can Maintain a Feminine Female Figure
N = Nylon's & Tights , Beautiful & Truly Make My leg's Stand Out
N = No Body and or ****** Hair at All
E = Excited About the Future , Of Being the Feminine / Female / Girl     -
            I Hope Too be in the Future

*********

            GOD BLESS YOU "" ALL ""

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It had been a while
Even tho no tears were shed
I could feel it was a wound tt would possibly leave a huge scar
I had no bad intentions when i said it
I had no ill meaning when i did it
I did it out the pure feeling of longing
Out of the innocent feeling of yearning
If i had to mke an apology
I would be apologising for loving a woman like a lil girl


It was all love at first
And that love kept growing n spiraling out of control
Every Time my hrt beat ...... i swear i could feel it ...... as if its about to break through the cage
Every Time i put my hand on my chest it was as if im trying to calm a mad dog down
A feeling i loved n hated
Cause Every Time it reminded me of how deep it was
How deep the wound was gonna be
As i kept replaying the worst case scenario in my head
And making more rush decisions
In a sad attempt to protect my heart


In the end it didn't hurt
At least not at the moment
But the longer i sat there the more i could feel the wound opening
As if its about to rip my hrt in 2
I clutched at my chest
Held on for dear life
The laughter echoed in the empty starry nyt
Reminisce of a broken heart
No, a broken mind
As i sat there feeling regret from the words protect your heart.

One open can of
half empty **** water
popped the night before
for a palm of pills,
codeine and HRT
chased with Kamchatka 8-0
she collapses in bed
with hope in her head,
belly full.

Morning comes, her will is gone, she stumbles blind
to root her elbows at the window sill, still groggy
from the high of nighttime.
Noon comes and the clock stops, it's a road block
setup at the overpass and by the time
transference makes sense she's
spent her energy just shifting.

In place, enervated. A mistake.
A husk built of guilt and bone.
In a closed room full of blood and *****,
alone. Atone.
In place, enervated,
elbows at the window sill.

A stinging sensation
Similar to that of a bunch ats having their way with you
A burning unscramble itch
Simlar to that of a couple bee stings
The uncontrollable feeling of anger
Like acid meet metal
Fumes and bubbles
Smoke everywhere
Ready to ignite watever comes close
This burning hot feeling
This uncontrollable yearning for something that someone has
Could it be?

An ordinary morning
Noise everywhere
Not wanting to get out of bed
An errie feeling crept up to me
Like a sense of dejavu
Telling to stay down
Dont get up
It felt like a thousand bugs
Crawling under my skin
Wat i opened my eyes to
Is this the reason why u shouldn't check your phone in the mrng?
Could this feeling be wat i think?

Wait.....it could be it
But why
I hve no reason to be
We never had anything to begin with
Then why does my heart feel like this
Like a rag doll..... bound in twine
Untill the thread is almost cutting in
Then like a yoyo
Thrown around only to come back to the thrower to be thrown again
Like a soccer ball being passed around teammates
Only for the striker to give it a more powerful kick
Every second i looked
The string got tighter
And as i closed my eyes in thought
I could taste blood in my mouth
What irony
My head laughed
But only the sound of gritting teeth could be heard
As i endured the tugs froms my hrt
Yes this was it
Its the conclusion i came to
Yes indeed
It was jealous

I know I’m one day late, but happy 2 months hrt sis :)

Taking medication may be fastening together the seams that could split. Between SSRI, HRT, and caffeine the moments speed, fleeting before I secure my grip. What's the point of living as a zombie losing opportunity through barely there fingers? I can be **** for you, I'm fond of pleading on my knees, tongue over my teeth, waiting patiently for my mouthful -- but what's point? What would it solve to introduce a controlled study meltdown? Well, I see the seasons coming at first light. Spring and Fall pull balance apart. So pull apart, because these meds don't help when my mind conspires without me, but with the world. Leave me alone. I'm caught gazing at the canvas in the white on walls. If it appears I'm choking, I am. I choke myself to gasping near to death as a means to depart from my leaden regret. Do I grow wings? No. Do I ascend? No. Do I myself then deify? No. It takes endlessly repeated little deaths to prevent permanent disintegration in passion's cruel flame.

ip-10-0-0-32# find /stl -type g -h -le 5.5 \
-age -ge 24 -age -le 32 -bt thin \
-hrt soft -and undrstdg \
-prs lback -iq -ge 120 \
-fce soft -skn soft -all soft \
-not -name 'Katie'

Maybe I shold accept the new "me and yo". It hrts I hrt yo. It hrts that I let yo go and now yor gone, nassred abot yor retrn. Now I go abot my days withot U.

When I was younger I used to think,
When my ovaries were on the blink,
I'd revel in the fact that I was free,
Less time for periods, more time for me.
No more evenings spent alone
Because Liverpool were playing at home.
Now menopause is here to stay,
I wish my monthlies never went away,
New wrinkles appear,
Sweats and hot flushes,
My bladder requires
Pees in bushes.
My locks are lank,
****** hair runs free.
But God is a woman.
Proof? HRT.

We’re told that the greatest predator on earth isn’t the tiger shark or the lion but the lowly straight white male, a violent, aggressive **** who prowls the streets, ******, beating and killing unsuspecting women. But it is not so: in fact, women in relationships with other women are dramatically more likely to get knocked about by their partners.
   Up to 45 per cent of lesbians have been the victim of at least one act of violence perpetrated by a female partner and that 30 per cent of lesbians have reported ****** assault or **** by another woman. And those are conservative figures from a small domestic violence support group.
   Only transsexuals have a rate anywhere close to that, with 34.6 per cent of trannies reporting nails ripped off, wigs torn and HRT pills flushed down the loo, according to a Massachusetts survey.

by MILO, 7 May 2015

We’re told that the greatest predator on earth isn’t the tiger shark or the lion but the lowly straight white male, a violent, aggressive **** who prowls the streets, ******, beating and killing unsuspecting women. But it is not so: in fact, women in relationships with other women are dramatically more likely to get knocked about by their partners.
   Up to 45 per cent of lesbians have been the victim of at least one act of violence perpetrated by a female partner and that 30 per cent of lesbians have reported ****** assault or **** by another woman. And those are conservative figures from a small domestic violence support group.
   Only transsexuals have a rate anywhere close to that, with 34.6 per cent of trannies reporting nails ripped off, wigs torn and HRT pills flushed down the loo, according to a Massachusetts survey.

**by MILO, 7 May 2015

We’re told that the greatest predator on earth isn’t the tiger shark or the lion but the lowly straight white male, a violent, aggressive **** who prowls the streets, ******, beating and killing unsuspecting women. But it is not so: in fact, women in relationships with other women are dramatically more likely to get knocked about by their partners.
   Up to 45 per cent of lesbians have been the victim of at least one act of violence perpetrated by a female partner and that 30 per cent of lesbians have reported ****** assault or **** by another woman. And those are conservative figures from a small domestic violence support group.
   Only transsexuals have a rate anywhere close to that, with 34.6 per cent of trannies reporting nails ripped off, wigs torn and HRT pills flushed down the loo, according to a Massachusetts survey.

by MILO, 7 May 2015

We’re told that the greatest predator on earth isn’t the tiger shark or the lion but the lowly straight white male, a violent, aggressive **** who prowls the streets, ******, beating and killing unsuspecting women. But it is not so: in fact, women in relationships with other women are dramatically more likely to get knocked about by their partners.
   Up to 45 per cent of lesbians have been the victim of at least one act of violence perpetrated by a female partner and that 30 per cent of lesbians have reported ****** assault or **** by another woman. And those are conservative figures from a small domestic violence support group.
   Only transsexuals have a rate anywhere close to that, with 34.6 per cent of trannies reporting nails ripped off, wigs torn and HRT pills flushed down the loo, according to a Massachusetts survey.

by MILO, 7 May 2015

We’re told that the greatest predator on earth isn’t the tiger shark or the lion but the lowly straight white male, a violent, aggressive **** who prowls the streets, ******, beating and killing unsuspecting women. But it is not so: in fact, women in relationships with other women are dramatically more likely to get knocked about by their partners.
   Up to 45 per cent of lesbians have been the victim of at least one act of violence perpetrated by a female partner and that 30 per cent of lesbians have reported ****** assault or **** by another woman. And those are conservative figures from a small domestic violence support group.
   Only transsexuals have a rate anywhere close to that, with 34.6 per cent of trannies reporting nails ripped off, wigs torn and HRT pills flushed down the loo, according to a Massachusetts survey.

by MILO, 7 May 2015

We’re told that the greatest predator on earth isn’t the tiger shark or the lion but the lowly straight white male, a violent, aggressive **** who prowls the streets, ******, beating and killing unsuspecting women. But it is not so: in fact, women in relationships with other women are dramatically more likely to get knocked about by their partners.
   Up to 45 per cent of lesbians have been the victim of at least one act of violence perpetrated by a female partner and that 30 per cent of lesbians have reported ****** assault or **** by another woman. And those are conservative figures from a small domestic violence support group.
   Only transsexuals have a rate anywhere close to that, with 34.6 per cent of trannies reporting nails ripped off, wigs torn and HRT pills flushed down the loo, according to a Massachusetts survey.

by MILO, 7 May 2015