"catheter" poems
I call this blood
You call that bird
feather They are
feather They are
bleeding bird
a blood-colored bird
red and falling
full of readiness
as anything falling
Feather blood bird
bird Feather blood
blood bird Feather
Death is never obvious so
a bird can also fly down
and a catheter bleeds for life
Death is never obvious:
feather feather and feather.
Jan 16, 2010
Jan 16, 2010 at 7:00 PM UTC
There is a new word describing me
type one, type two, type three
nothing is as it once seemed
brown bandages become red, ******
catheters go up my urethra
when I refuse to take your drug test
by accident.
I'm clean, now, clean and pure
I take Abilify to make sure
and remember that it's all an imbalance
and remember that everyone else is balanced
and remember that the whole ******* world is balanced
on a tether formed by gravity
gravity-- the severity of this situation-- is lost on me
and on that tether we all walk
unbridled by the weight of our bodies
we can shake all that makes us human
and pathologize every thought crime
every idea needs to be cleansed
with a catheter into the brain
we would be able to test it for drugs
and find that all I was high on was existence
and how terrible it is
that we will all die
but that shouldn't bother a doctor at all, now
should it.
May 2, 2013
May 2, 2013 at 4:49 PM UTC
Lymphoma
There was a fundraising run for lymphoma and other cancers
A little notice for it on top of the garbage can
at a home grown Jamba Juice right off the BART in Berkeley
It hit home: what I was up against
People don't run through the streets casually
and my cat had lymphoma
I couldn't find him last night for the first time
He had his weekly appointment and I brought in
something that didn't look at all like he was the week before
They paged the vet and she came in
saying thing like he needed an IV and tests and
wasn't there nothing else to do
didn't she say that
he needs hospitalization--his liver
we can't tell you what to do
but it would all go in a circle and come back
to a suffering being who had
come to the end of what science could do for him
what she was trying to tell me in her barrage of words
came through loud and clear
They brought him in
with a blanket and a catheter
and he struggled until he got warm and then rested
I wanted him to see me, as the last thing he saw in this world
She took the three syringes out of her white coat
Don't hurt him, just don't hurt him
my only request
There was no pain
Only relaxation, sleep and then at last no heartbeat
Her ability, her smoothness of execution was perfect
and he went limp in my arms
not suffering
The nurse took his body away
"It's the last gift we can give them" she said
and I imagined a man, a stereotypical
image of a man pacing back and forth in a white coat in front
of a lecture hall full of vet students saying that
exact thing and there was a serious air in the classroom and some wrote this down,
it was so true, sound, capable and final
but this woman said it
this veterinarian from Michigan
and through my tears and grief
there was some kind of undercurrent
of relief, that there is no more pain for him
He no longer suffers
and I did all I could do
Jul 27, 2012
Jul 27, 2012 at 8:39 PM UTC
I went for an X-Ray the other day. My name was called
and after the expected delay, I heard a nurse say
Right knee? I said Yep! She said “Come this way…
Can you get your trouser leg up to your thigh"?
I said “No… these skinny jeans don’t go that high”.
“In that case” she said looking me up & down... with a frown
Pop in that cubicle… and put on this gown!
For a start…it took me ages to get these trousers off…
and force the rest of my stuff into the carrier bag supplied
and then, when I saw the gown, I very nearly died!
It would have fitted me just fine if I’d been 18 again
but the gaps and bulges in the thing were a farce...
and allowed everyone in the corridor to see my fat 71 year old ****
I said out loud when I sat down again in the queue
“You know…I had an inferiority complex before I met any of you.
But this has definitely taken me down a notch. And I apologise about the view”.
However, inside the X-Ray room with all the techie kit and Radiographer Rob,
I felt better… The pain in my knee had almost gone apart from a distant throb.
Then he said “You’re completely safe, just lie back calm, quite still…serene”.
Whilst he clicked the shutter from the other side of his lead lined screen. (So he was alright then!)
Well, I’m home again now, hobbling about… It’s bearable (not like childbirth ladies) but not great.
I’m sitting here with my leg up waiting for the letter that will let me know my fate.
Ah yes… men and pain! There is a well know fact about the differences between the sexes.
It’s proven that, with men, colds become flu…and ailments:- epidemics… (No really!)
So, here’s the letter… Now...will it be Ointment? Physio, to transform a permanent slouch?
Or a keyhole flush with a catheter? Or - Oh no!…
For me - it’s a titanium replacement knee!… Ouch!
Somebody pass me that gown!!!
Apr 27, 2019
Apr 27, 2019 at 6:09 PM UTC
Drain out of me
running through the page
a cloudy yellow apathy
with crimson streaks of rage
my doctor thinks a catheter
could help me hold my tongue
but I've swallowed his for years now
and my flow has just begun.
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 8:31 AM UTC
they say stop
don't do it too much
ease up
slow down
are you content, let alone happy, with anything?
they didn't seem to think so
the dry benzo sting stuck in my mouth for an hour or so
a rough jostle into a rushed sobriety
we'll have to reinsert the catheter
so don't squirm too much
we don't have any anesthetic left
good luck
Aug 15, 2013
Aug 15, 2013 at 8:56 PM UTC
I was standing straight-
My hands benighted down,
Little bend towards the lord,
And they called my guilty posture.
When I closed my eyes slightly wet-
They dressed me in the butcher’s gown,
Aimlessly swaying my sword,
Goat masks swinging like pendulum’s structure.
Behind me were tall men in cloaks-
They were trying to move a big glass cube,
There were victims floating in water,
As if they were dead and numbed in pain.
I turned to them as the frog croaks-
A cloak-man gave me the reins of their capillary tube,
And a bottle of venom to feed the catheter,
They crowned me the hood to fit over my brain.
I chuckled and shuddered-
My hands benighted down,
Little bend towards the lord,
And they stripped me off in a sudden spate.
When my body was falling down murdered-
They turned the soil into red from brown,
A few survivors were running in hoard,
Slain frog legs smashed in stampede outside the heaven’s gate.
Jun 1, 2010
Jun 1, 2010 at 1:44 AM UTC
It's all conspiracy
Idle hands are the Devil's playthings
I told you so
Remove the feeding tube
But not during the gestation period
By after the gastric bypass
And right before the insemination
Put the fault on the horse voiced gentry
And the perpendicular denominations
What's it to you?
You estranged neo-native
Counterfeit piety and disobedient estranged friends unnerve you
You act so factious
Deliberately making everything a joke
Ponder the trajectory of my fist to your glass jaw
And the brass knuckles to your abdomen
You'll want to get an iron lung when we're through
Maybe a respirator and a catheter
Now, go count your toenail clippings as the idle minds cast their votes for this referendum
-Tommy Johnson
Jun 28, 2014
Jun 28, 2014 at 8:01 PM UTC
Problems many of which are not getting solved
not because I'm not resolved but because I delay
to savor the day, the moon and the season
which is why I'm a non-person under the eye of eternity.
Except for my unpaid bills. And iambic pentameter.
Aaron fails English. Is there summer school?
What an ******* I want to slug him, but also
his teacher, Mr. Fisher, who's probably
a nice guy, just doing his job and raising a family.
Then there's the catheter from my last surgery
I was so sick I thought I was dying. The out of network
pathologist and radiologist have declined my insurance
and charged me to the hilt. Like I had a choice
face up in the emergency room. Facing doom, you don't ask questions.
Now that I've rejoined the living I've got to raise a million bucks
to save organic farms and endangered species I'll never see.
Perhaps none of this matters and chanting's the answer, Buddhist
precepts,
or as Dad would say This too shall pass.
Life is a back and forth game but baseball is zen meditation,
you're in right field, nothing's happening, nothing's gonna happen,
but you can't let your attention wander for one second.
I should clean and oil my trumpet for Saturday's gig
or the valves will stick. And leave early enough
not to get stuck in traffic. Other lives, other quilts.
A guy who takes the subway to a dead metal desk
and the boss who fires him with the cold hard eyes
of one who accepts the rules entirely. Actually
we're fortunate to have rules because otherwise
child soldiers armed with AK-47s would be shooting up
the village and setting fire to our thatched roofs.
Instead, under the rule of law, when snow falls
even old roofs look like problems with proofs.
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 6:40 AM UTC
One time
I took a medication
that interfered
with my bladder function
I couldn't urinate
The very talk of a catheter
scared the **** out of me
Jan 8, 2017
Jan 8, 2017 at 1:45 AM UTC
I wonder if you know
of the catheter that
pierces my vein,
and of the mask
which helps me breathe,
All those endless nights
Wincing in pain.
I wish i could tell you
of how my blood
spluttered when they
pulled out the needle,
but nothing compares to
the pain of how i could
not tell you these things
for you have gone
so far away,
for you have gone
so far away.
It hurts more than
the catheter in my vein.
Jul 29, 2017
Jul 29, 2017 at 11:05 AM UTC
. _for JLaw♥_ .
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comments Happy Birthday Birthday Happy
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hands, interpretation of hands, hands and photo
clipboard of Stock Photography of One Man
and his wife and her mother and her mother
and her mother and mother; Announced in ♥
Pictures, Photos, Free Videos, Photos, drawing,
pictures, pictures, pictures, pictures, pictures,
art prints, fine art & song, dreams, conversation,
Spanish Vitamin R & quotes; researcher answers
field of English speaking and speaking English
in England, ******* ****** evil panic group satin
group old clusters of blind cars only spring, ♥
spring price in Ireland before listening; church
temple legends glass walk high glossy friend
small cake, cake cake cat catheter cake chart
nice an [eem] school, middle school saves the
holy holy man's cut, cut the crap, can bring
a barber leaves, leaf, leaves ugly jellyfish ♥
looking for a small sword of tongue, take a walk
and think someone can meet Ivan after wanting
a yellow stripper's yellow sword, **** (0) (0) (0)
(0) (0) (0) (0) (0) (0) (0) (0) (0) (0) (0) (0) ) wall,
Hell calls and plays ancient brown open american
station; read girl, European royal double room
god, god, Spain city church celebrate football
time and lots of singing; magic hand ********
dance, wooden old jewelry, Japanese; Japanese
background knowledge; knowledge of the history
of American music, China snooch mountains, ♥
lord spread-eagle, Asian, harmful poetry helps
memory, evening, English and English, English
******* evil, evil disability office satin York's
old car group news, bad news; Ireland before
listening to Mary's request in the temple legends
of glass walks in cheerleaders cake cake ♥
cake lake cake, lake cake, chart, chart, shaped
perfectly; school school to make the devil, jinn's
sacred jack-cut, George in Germany, Germany
wears cuff-links, page India Medusa's death,
'i walk around in a bettie', want to visit
somewhere,
Ivan,
after the thinking stripper,
♥ yellow ******* strippers
Jan 26, 2019
Jan 26, 2019 at 6:17 AM UTC
A ring,
Soo many give one without thinking twice,
A king,
A queen,
Is there no wrong nor any right?
A bolter I hold at the end of the stick,
Tired ripped, shot down as me.
Burdened fish to thine sea,
Oh creator? Didst thou maketh me one?
I am thy own son, yes?
Bypass all the rest, for I will find one brand new,
A brand of secretive muse, a piracy smuggled in..
To cleanse me from sin's, external, and internal put..
Eyes to see all miracolous, no more plankness of soot.
Boreal freshness to tease this European glosser,
For dare I wish , this I do mindful reader..
Immaculate soother, one to bare these holes in hands,
To take this crown of thorns, as I.
For no saint I am.
I want no cathode, but the exact alike,
Where thou giveth her thine life, and the return comes full payment,
I want no show, I seek no entertainment,
But as a priest in ordainment,
I seek a high chemical capsules cannot plot you.
A spirit see through,
Transparent as thy ghost!!!!!!
A special toast of winding hills, and pickled thoughts,
Where nothings sold nor lost, but catheter to ways unknown!!!
Excreta to flow from our kisses, as our lips grown close by stitches, and hands go glued by palms...
A father and dame, a betwixting so tame, nothing worldly can be so exclusive!
I want one who shall exude me,
To move me,
To shake me in earthquake foundation's....
One of spiraled radiation.
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 9:04 AM UTC
the ship was underwater before it could be properly evacuated
and i was drunk in the captain's quarters with a switchblade to his throat
he missed a spot when he was shaving that morning and i
offered my services
a spot on the canvas of my mitochondrial conditioning
my dendrites receive no stimulation as i laugh so i feel nothing as usual
crack my clenched teeth in a practice of proper response eliciting
reinsert the breathing tube and rip the catheter out of me
no
Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013 at 2:56 PM UTC
swimming outside the rim of sleep,
head near the undertow of the tides of dream-
thinking of our words in circles
pencil acting as a catheter
of my worry,
I’ve been puking into my journal,
I’ve been barking up the wrong tree,
I’ve been in a cave
with a broken lantern-
and the water’s been around my knees.
I’m all teeth, hair and eyes.
I’ve known well the-
truth terror
but I’m still wanting it dressed up-
I asked you to put a happy mask on it
but you said
“I cant pretend,”
Oct 22, 2013
Oct 22, 2013 at 12:35 PM UTC
I... Recollect times past, to nullify my current state,
to back when peace shimmered our harbor, warm and safe.
My... Misleading memories of honesty, truth, and faith,
sincere and fortunate light sequester, life displaced.
In-the... Deep midst of my being, deluged a swamp of mossy lace,
troubled body of trembling thought, gasping for escape.
Heard... “Open yer eyes boy... I don't wanna ya to swallow yer tongue.”
That's when someone else decided, that I'd had "enough."
Saved... from freedoms of chaos, and now the allure of death,
for catheter and plastic gown, none by request.
How... many beats per minute will my cardiogram play?
How long must I be plugged in, before I get away?..
I'll... likely be spitting gray chalk for the next week or more,
I know these things because, I've been through this all before.
There's such a... cluttering of whispers, that they all try to hide,
when nurses talk about me, they mention “suicide.”
There's... Nurses, and doctors, all hoping I'll pull through,
not one will treat the failure, of who lie in I.C.U.
Next week... We'll identify problems, bits of understanding,
how many groups and puzzles to take, to ease
my landings.
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 16, 2018 at 6:10 PM UTC
windmills grind
a breeze into a wisp
as wrung dust, floats
in dust moats of cumulus rust
like the fatigue of a sixth sense
in a world of five comas
and a hunch.
a world of long shadows
with a brief harrumph
of brass
from a blood-yellow sun
and a bruised
lamp.
the catheter of a ******
and a pearl's
edge.
apple on my head
arrow in my mouth...
and a goose egg.
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 10:03 AM UTC
The Finest Health Care System in the World
In a wheelchair – his body mostly broken:
“I wish I could go fishing. I was a welder.
How long’s that doctor going to be? I’m tired.
I just don’t know how I can pay for this.
“I was doing okay ‘til I fell and broke my back.
Thirty-seven surgeries, would you believe it?
And my arm too. This catheter’s infected.
The last doctor just wouldn’t take it out.
“My Workman’s Comp’s all gone. I just don’t know.”
In a wheelchair – his body mostly broken
Nov 18, 2017
Nov 18, 2017 at 4:03 PM UTC
Sitting on the edge of the bed,
Un-made twisted sheets,
Muttering to myself,
picking at the scabs under my lily-white purified skin
wondering when the door will come crashing in.
Knowing I’ve only a few moments,
Time with my crucifix, moments with my notepad
Before the time slips beneath the door and invites the others in.
****** knuckles, parched lips,
The compounded inhaled taste of her hips,
Dripping through the catheter,
tiny atoms of my being wrestling for space.
I’ve finished this course of treatment,
The next week will bring more pills, extra tubing
Lack of hope in plain sight
May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 9:54 AM UTC
Just when life most grand
Death saying, "Now, I almost
Forgot about you"
This was prompted today by a tiny (one and a half pound), cute Yorkie puppy named Chance. He came in to the EC after being sick at home with vomiting and diarrhea. He was collapsed, nearly unconscious, ghostly pale, blood glucose of 28 mg/dl, scratching at death's edge. We stuck catheter in bone and we brought him back. He was doing well through the long night, jumping up to greet me, wagging his tail. Just as I was ready to go home, off my shift, he cried out a big whimper, and fell over dead. We tried to revive him, to bring life again, however, same as any of us, death had it's last say!
© 2017 Jim Davis
Jun 3, 2017
Jun 3, 2017 at 11:35 AM UTC
We get to the hospital,
and walk to the ward
where you are, and I
notice straight away
something is wrong:
you're all puffed up
as if someone had
pumped you up with gas.
What's happened to you?
I say. Your sister looks
at you and I can see she
is as shocked as I am to
see you like you are.
You say a few words,
but they're too quiet for
me to grasp. When did
you pass ***** last? I say.
You look at me with your
large eyes which seem
larger. This morning I think,
you reply, your voice soft
as if speaking was an effort.
Be back in a moment, I say,
and leave you with your sister
while I go off in search of
a nurse or doctor. Visitors are
coming and going, other
patients sit on beds or in beds,
and I see a nurse in a dark
uniform thinking maybe she's
in charge. I approach her,
and she looks at me. I'm Ole's
father and I am not happy
the way he is being cared for,
I say. Why? What's the matter
with him? She says, eyeing me.
He's all puffed up, he has an
infection of some kind, he can
hardly breathe, and he hasn't
passed ***** since yesterday
morning to my knowledge.
She looks at me with frowning
brows: he was all right earlier
when the doctor saw him, she says.
Well he isn't now, I say, he needs
a catheter and something to help
him breath, he's in a bad away, I say.
I can't give an catheter, unless
a doctor tells me to, she says.
Well he needs one soon, I say,
and he can hardly hold the mug
he's drinking from, as his hands
are so puffed up. She looks over
her shoulder. I'll get the doctor
to see him when he's back from A& E,
she says, we're so busy. Well make
sure he does, I say annoyed now,
and on the edge of bellowing out,
but don't. She nods and walks off.
I sigh, and go back you still sitting
there, bent over, on the side of
the bed; your sister goes off,
too upset to remain. Can I get
you anything? I ask. Drink of orange,
you say. I pour you orange and add
water from the plastic jug. I complained
about how you are being treated,
I say. You nod: can you help me
on bed, I need to lie down, you say.
I help you on the bed and arrange
your pillows behind your head.
You sip the orange, then hand it
to me. I put it on the side cabinet.
You lie there staring at your puffed
up hands: I can't eat properly, you say,
my jaw aches as I eat. I look at
your puffed up features. She said
the doc will come see you when
he's done in A& E, I say. You say
nothing. I sit and talk to you about
mundane things, and you reply
gently finding it hard to talk.
Then you close your eyes,
and I say: look I will leave
you now, let you rest. You open
your eyes and say: Ok. I'll be
back tomorrow with Mike,
I say, bring you fresh clothes
and a book. You nod your head,
and I kiss your forehead and I go,
and you close your eyes for sleep.
That memory of that last talk
with you, I will always keep.
Feb 7, 2017
Feb 7, 2017 at 7:43 AM UTC
it was the greatest sputum sample ever collected in this hospital
the guy wasn’t coughing, he wasn’t doing anything
except lay there like a dead fish
we’d smash the ezpap mask on his face to inflate his lungs
useless
the doctor asked me to get a sputum sample to see what was growing in there
"the guy does nothing," i said. "he doesn’t cough"
"can you NT suction him?"
push a plastic catheter up his nose, into his lungs
"that’s pretty invasive for a sputum sample"
"can you do it?"
"yeah i can… i never have for that, but i can…"
so i go in with his nurse and my student
i have the catheter ready, all lubed up
i’d want a lot of **** if it was my nose
but first i put a sample jar under his mouth
and say "look dude, i need you to spit in this cup"
i don’t know if he’s listening or what
"if you can’t do it i’m gonna go up your nose with a rubber hose
it doesn’t hurt exactly but you’re not gonna like it
but i won’t do it if you can spit in this cup"
his eyes are half open
he’s possibly considering it
"COME ON DUDE, SPIT IN THE CUP! HOCK A LOOGIE!"
then we hear a rumble
it’s like the awakening of a volcano
"DO IT! HOCK A LOOGIE!"
we hear it coming up the pipe
"YES! DO IT!"
it sounds substantial and it keeps coming
i open his mouth and holy mackerel
there’s a gallon of yellow mucus
it’s astronomical, a ******* tidal wave
i shake the cup under his mouth
"SPIT! DO IT!"
but he doesn’t spit
his mouth is full as a bucket
but it’s not going anywhere
"give me that yankeur," i say to the nurse
she gives me the stiff suction wand
i don’t even plug it into the vacuum
i just use it to scoop the phlegm from his mouth into the cup
"o my god," says my student
she’s getting an education today
i keep scooping, filling the cup
"wow," says the nurse
she’s seen a lot but she’s never seen **** like this
"ALRIGHT, DUDE," i say, capping the cup, laughing
it’s the greatest sputum sample in the history of the world
Mar 9, 2019
Mar 9, 2019 at 6:05 AM UTC