boasting of the god of love's attentions,
this magicweaver lures her prey--
conjures forth her whim
seeking quench of fickle thirst within
attempting avenues of guile
numerously failed, and baits another heart
to suit her object's mate,
whose favors hail from Shiva
unto dominion everywhere,
  except at forest hut where Rama--
with Sita --honeymoons in exile
having snapped the cosmic dancer's massive bow
to win her for his wife, yet bound
by family word to wilderness
  in elder-shade of mystic eagle
guarded by their builder,
brother Lakshmana, in whose absence Kamavalli comes
to woo the godlike archer for her own.

little bells on anklets ring--
from creeper snagged
as if in venery yearning,
urgent vines would find their way to rest on skin
and squeeze in verdant rooting underform
prancing by, playfully demure
to enter subdued greenery
of Panchvati's gated yard
to catch the stoic Rama's eye
in invitation flashing for his gaze:
a sculptured form of flawless grace
nubile teeth shining from the forest dark,
a smile unassuming of callipygean sway
beneath the flitting lashes of her iris' swell

baffled there he stirs to praise her openly
as perfect--
despite his inner-goddess-for-a-wife he keeps inside--
with tripping words
welcomes and blesses this new girl,
exalting her with blushing queries,
sylvan surging rush to know
interrogate her mystery,
rapt in wide-eyed wonder verging beatific breath--
but learning of her lineage...
begins to plot their deaths.

banter light,
flirtations with a hidden, cosmic weight to pun against,
his praise asserts its hold
pretending bachelorhood;
his kindly, transauthentic voice resists
and in a sympathetic, skillful tone, promulgates
a drama to entice her eager mind--
ironic fancies of domestic bliss
flow from Rama, subtle jests
become her plight obsessing
into darkness embered with her lust
to truly claim him as her love,
her grandiosity defused in simple
entertainment quipping of their castes
and then with sudden burst entranced in luminescent rays of stunning rustic glow
from cottage comes his wife to claim her presence known.

the blow is dealt: Manmatha lays Kamavalli's fate: to self-disintegrate

jealousy to deafen gods, in cave retreat
to nurse her spite, surrounded in a dance
of serpent flails to sate her woe,
and only feed in ouroboros knotslip pulse
a lump-filled throat of gulping incite forward zest salacious
pungent flare of earth identity of fang and blood
the cry to shudder down a wolfine howl
in blast of animal, from screaming womanhood
the swoon precipitate-- vast height, abysmal fall
on being spurned by one who led her on
into delusion wrapped in sham an alter self
she met in bed a thousand cravings razing sanity
into a hate for moon, for elements themselves,
railing at Manmatha's haze infernal globe within and out
projecting Rama's face transfixing her inept
in wracking convulse whine of every cell,
her being sweating out imagined arms,
palms of his to cup her, lift from hellish pit of stifled longing never known 'til volcanically regrown--
in new love's throws an innocence of honest
selfhood found in him, bizarrely enemied in Lila's
killing spree of ego-dolls of lotus costume tracing all
searching through his fresh phantasm for her quelling salve
his diamond ******* targets for her soul
his broadness engirthing her to moan until her last in ecstasy
unknown asura-brew untold invented only now forever lost,
the moment fondled vastly gone,
his chest but gossamer instead of flesh
the emerald shoulder glimmer fake
the boundless confidence exuded in his
tender skin's encapsulated sinew strength
merely thought on causing pelvic quake
repeating there an apparition for her nearly endless letting out
he comes for her a demon double of her making
demi-god creator-demon vision for her writhing,
abandoned to the ambrosia torment he provides
wailing at the cavern sky her prison boudoir den
enscaled with slither pile coat of snakes, masturbatory wake of swooning still again

through to dawn..
in which psychotic break decides:
Soorpanaka births herself anew--
possession of her goal, or suicide.
the dewy spectra shines reflection of the choice;
rave committal forms its mould--
exhaustion hatches colorspray of plots,
braving mutilation to abduct,
lies and bribes surmounting each before
in ****** propositions to her ever widened bed,
else demonic armies loosed,
infatuate Ravana's heart
with illusory snare of golden Sita's rumored wares
to get her man alone and hew derision
with her desperate charm, by cantrip or war
spawned from deeper lairs of a broken,
fallacious heart, toward matrimony
or destruction bent













.

bachelorhoodwinked
by michael r. burch

u
are
charming
& disarming,
but mostly ALARMING
since all my resolve
dissolved!

u
are
chic
as a sheikh's
harem girl in the sheets
but my castle’s no longer my own
and my kingdom is overthrown!

Originally published by Brief Poems. Keywords/Tags: bachelorhood, bachelor, engagement, marriage, resolve, dissolved, hoodwinked, helpless, vulnerable, smitten, bewitched, charm, charmed, spellbound, love potion

Once
by Michael R. Burch

for Beth

Once when her kisses were fire incarnate
and left in their imprint bright lipstick, and flame,
when her breath rose and fell over smoldering dunes,
leaving me listlessly sighing her name . . .

Once when her ******* were as pale, as beguiling,
as wan rivers of sand shedding heat like a mist,
when her words would at times softly, mildly rebuke me
all the while as her lips did more wildly insist . . .

Once when the thought of her echoed and whispered
through vast wastelands of need like a Bedouin chant,
I ached for the touch of her lips with such longing
that I vowed all my former vows to recant . . .

Once, only once, something bloomed, of a desiccate seed—
this implausible blossom her wild rains of kisses decreed.

Published by The Lyric, Writer’s Journal, Grassroots Poetry, Tucumcari Literary Journal, Unlikely Stories, Poetry Life & Times. Keywords/Tags: kisses, fire, incarnate, lipstick, dunes, *******, heat, lips, breath, sighs, passion, desire, lust, ***, bachelorhood, recanted

Disconcerted
by Michael R. Burch

Meg, my sweet,
fresh as a daisy,
when I’m with you
my heart beats like crazy
& my future gets hazy ...

Keywords/Tags: Meg, love, lover, fresh, daisy, heart, heartbeat, crazy, pounding, future, hazy, bachelorhood, engagement, marriage

The Single Prince------  a fairy tale for adults ---By Jude Kyrie

He was handsome to the extreme.
Definite movie star looks
if movies had been invented
back all those centuries ago.

She was the most beautiful princess
in all the kingdom.
He could not think of anything
but to make her his bride.
So he set forth on his quest of the heart.

But when he rode up to her castle
through the haunted forest of whispers.
across the river of doom
and the desert of the dragons.
he arrived at her door
and proposed marriage to her

she said
No way!Apparently, she hated men
and in fact, had a strong penchant
for girls herself.

Not one to dwell on the mysteries
of a woman's heart, the prince said
fucketh her.
And turned to a life of bachelorhood.
He bought a Harley Chopper
Dated pretty cheerleaders
and slim models with full bosoms.

and never once caught his wife
in bed with  some guy
when he got home unexpectedly

He took up hunting and fishing with his buddies.
raced sports cars at high speed.
spending lonely nights at ***** bars
drinking double malt whiskey
and the finest flagons of ale.

he never heard of *******
or a ******* honey-do list.
Nor did he ever get hit for
child support or alimony.
He kept his castle
and his beloved gun collection

and lived on a diet of fried food
bacon and eggs with sausages and beans
snacking on potato chips.
a diet that caused him to
blow enormous loud farts
which made him a legend
amongst his cronies.
who all thought he was as cool as hell.

He had loads of money in the bank
And not once in his life
did he ever put the toilet seat down.

And he lived
happily ever after
The End

You never wanted anyone for
Yourself, so you jumped from
One relationship to another
like Asian carp in a lake.
You never bothered about who was
In your bed, provided you had
Pleasure, with no strings attached.
You never thought love and
Companionship; their concomitant is the
Killer of spinsterhood and bachelorhood.
You fought hard against love
And pleasure but you knew
You were fighting a lost cause
just like a sailor fighting
the weather at sea.
The heart wants him,
And is fond of him,
And is set on matrimony.
The heart wants what the
Heart wants; it won’t rest
Till it wins.

With mighty mouse and Hercules height
tried to retrieve sanity spread loose;
a faded unpleasant memory - even enlisting
decades old cartoon characters:
Natasha squirrel and Bullwinkle moose
flow of electrons the best-concocted juice
since the convection
of white bread or couscous
for without Fios, light and heat
the slow strangle via an invisible noose

gripped this bantam weight
hen pecked papa -
who tried to peruse
Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy
while buried under
blankets and towels - Toulouse
any and every molecule of heat,
yet frigidaire within abode
(technically about 455 degrees Fahrenheit)
went with Brad and Ray,
boot did not go vamoose.

Thine recollected diatribe
analogous to a rite of initiation
thru fraternity gauntlet -
no, not necessarily atchew
anyway, I sure hope ***** remission
asper any offal debacle choking bugaboo
which once malignantly plagued
your body, mind, spirit
as fowl existence doomed matt chew
for when countless full moons ago,
the force o mother nature drew

whipped out her scimitar,
where chaos such as
power n telephone outages flew
sweeping across bulwarks,
drawbridge over troubled waters,
and ramparts whereby
huge limbs and wires
Ole man winter with
a jude dish hiss punch did hew
indiscriminate to gentile or Jew
or one necessitating answering a call

to deaf ack ate while atop the loo,
cuz such fate occurred there
at previous residence
DCCXXIV Railroad Ave n new
where the lack of heat or phone service
induce sing expletives stronger than poo
but...during the blackout,
this papa read by flashlight huddled
under mildewed layers of clothes
n bland kits, and did rue
how susceptible n vulnerable society

to whims of natural faw iz - tis true
at least in my view,
whence this generic human
predicted he would become
apprised as fossilized,
immortalized, and ossified,
thence accidentally discovered
millenniums in future,
hence as frozen petrified representative
per twenty first century,
where wily fox prudent terrestrial realtor.

Now that yar brow didst I scrunch
possibly goot dealt
a similar meteorological punch
thus possibly lack king
for electricity i.e. the life source energy,
this then mister mom,
and taxi dad supposed back up hunch
hove (at that time)

two prepubescent darling daughters -
oft times thrilled as punch
to kibbutz with during lunch
when dire circumstances
imposed spurious silliness
to fritter away time –
for measly grueling fodder,
earmarked, ****** cold brunch.

Twas and still Liz
a blessing social networks
allowed, enabled and promoted literary trait
virtually contrived acquaintances of yore,
and usually visa vis discovery
(though transient got me I rate)
hull reflect on technological
modus operandi back
before bachelorhood complemented
and supplemented mein kampf

with an affectionately loving mate
many years, and even of late
though amity, comity
and felicity nestles this roost stir,
whose then newlywed bride
that's my wife, he DOTH no longer hate
and communicate emotions
across the whirled wide web
(i.e. - this example
between yourself and me) -

Noah intent to grate
now, internecine warfare usually all calm
on the western front
from hellish, gory figurative
ball of wax bollix
engineering denizens of fate
in tandem with banshees, gremlins,
and jinns out the box of Pandora rollicked
their elements of Strunk and White,
and pandemonium they did fiendishly create.

Courtesy a plethora of marriageable females
*******, hounding, and lowing the living daylights
forcing yours truly to go undercover and into hiding
within the heart of darkness
at a remote undisclosed location in Perkiomen Valley
changing my name, rank and serial number
to protect what little remaining innocence
(analogous from the salvaged wreckage
of the Edmund Fitzgerald,
an American Great Lakes freighter
that sank in Lake Superior
during a storm on November 10, 1975,
with the loss of the entire crew of 29 men),
whereat nearly thirty year old anniversary,
since yours truly pledged his troth
wedded bliss severely
put thru the paces
as I get bombarded from text after text
compliments of celebrated barenaked ladies
brazenly showing me
their anatomical wares
mostly augmented ******* and tuckus,
and asking me to do likewise,
but "No way Jose" emphatically stated
falling on deaf (emoji symbolized) ears
no not mine but the young thangs
invariably seeking a gold digger
versus literally avowing
to be dirt poor substitute,
yet honest to goodness
writer of these words
possesses heart of gold
(cue Neil Young song lyrics,
and his song by the same name),
who values decency, honesty, literacy, poetry...,
and much prefers intelligent conversation,
(whether with himself or a receptive ear)
versus poised to experience a lucky strike
romping (think Rumspringa - a time
when young people
can explore their identity
and decide if they want
to join the Amish) church
kick/jump starting, enmeshing
when all along the reason without rhyme
I accepted friend requests
from Facebook (Meta) Messenger
constituted an ambition to foster
(not just a child of mine),
but intelligent conversation
linkedin to the cares and concerns
of an uncertain world,
at which point tis only to divulge
an inconvenient truth
with earth in the balance
regarding this rare breed (me),
that he considers himself
(YES free and clear
without any inhibitions)
a liberal democrat
now prone to temper his fulminations
toward the Republican party in general
and demagogues in particular
reserving vitriol lest yours truly
finds strong arm of the law
rapping on my door,
and if any pipe dream
could be brought into fruition,
that wish upon a star
would be relocating, hightailing,
emigrating to Canada or returning
to my boyhood home
just south across the border
into the heartland
of Norwegian bachelorhood
videlicet Lake Woebegone
as the next best choice,
the little town that time forgot,
and the years could not improve,
but dearth of financial resources
disallows any remote likelihood
for yours truly and the wife
to pack up our troubles
in our old kit-bag,
thus I will hunker down
for the next four years
bestowing divine faith healing;
jimmying, lording (no pun),
raising the roof of churches,
albeit damaged since the Great Flood,
and Noah way will I abandon
figurative house of mankind,
whereat the flock of lost tribes
aimlessly wander in the wilderness
after their experience as crash test dummy
bailing out from fiery B-52s
found their fear of flying unshaken.

double negative meaning golden years
joie de vivre of married life unknown
during our sputtering rancorous courtship
when skirting within danger zone
witnessed countless ruptures
courtesy selfish wordsmith,
who authored these words.

Circa ~ late spring/ early summer 1978
twas at behest of Harriet Harris,
thus due credit mother dearest
who tried, to bribe, coax, exhort...
(protracted effort not all in vain),
cuz her second of three progeny,
and sole son i.e. (me) to
commingle, frolic, immerse myself
quintessentially ushering yawping zeal,
cuz general disposition courtesy yours truly
heavily trended toward solitude,
limiting interpersonal opportunities
minus those crafted,
videre licet overactive imagination (mine).

I took immediate affinity
(think duck adapting to water)
to milieu of contra dancing
and soon became popular with the gals,
surprising myself how enjoyable
untrammeled pinteresting linkedin hoopla
delivered je ne sais quois joie de vivre,
(the most fun one could experience
without taking off their clothes),
me no exhibitionist by a far cry!

How fitting and proper
to state we (thyself and spouse)
met (for reel) and jiggered mine johnson
at Thursday night contra dance
Summit Presbyterian Church
6757 Greene Street,
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19119
(initially held at Church
of Saint Martin-in-the-Fields,
Saint Martins Lane, Chestnut Hill,
Philadelphia, PA 19118
scads of years past
(actually more'n deux times deuce
score earth's orbitz around
or quattuor decades ago),
whereby the missus claims,
she espied (yours truly
then as) young lad
(bookworm type fella)
with boyish good looks
and golden locks
emblematic of Samson,
who would be envious (ha).

At four foot eleven Delilah,
the petite prospective missus
(plus her waist length brunette tresses)
ball of fire stood out amidst
madding crowd drew attention (mine),
yet she vociferously, vigorously,
and vehemently still claims
initial awkward overtures
ascribed to Zison assertiveness.

Yours truly, he blatantly admits pranced as novitiate
devoid of interpersonal finesse and polish to whit,
a mere neophyte in a nutshell
hankering to sow wild oats that's zit.

Whereby our relationship got off to
(how shoal I say) rocky start
gallivanting with thee lass,
who would eventually
take me (grudgingly - ha)
as her respective lifelong sweetheart.

Unbeknownst to yours truly,
pent up unleashed testosterone
experienced disquieting alarm
adequately adept equipped with strong arm,
I tapped into secrete Lucky charm,
(albeit surreal environment
cavorting amidst madding crowd)
helped cultivate feral latent impotent
animal husbandry to farm
long fallow fresh unadulterated field

jabbering innocent blather,
brazenness embarrassingly proliferated,
but provocative behavior
smote ego (mine)
not with irrecoverable harm,
analogous to angry bees didst
adequately buzzfeeding naiveté
beehive ving like metaphorical swarm
(smartly stinging me) think freshly cooked
cockles and muscles clammy and warm.

I eventually acquired figurative ropes
regarding dating game
basic primal version
(at that time apps unnecessary)
nevertheless, call of the wild
thee woke former slumbering
beastie boy needed receptive body to tame,
he thus availed himself as lame
crash test dummy
feebly acquired social skills
bungled how to romance a capricious dame
readied himself to aim.

Aye celebrate thy life partner
with balance and swing
proffering courtesy turn
exhibiting gratitude occasionally
while with linkedin elbows turn a circle
punctuating spontaneity with do-si-do.

July 25th marks wedding anniversary
delineating, demarcating, denoting,
where the missus supposedly
filched mine bachelorhood,
whereby justice of the peace
Judge Henry Schireson,
(who still maintains an office
925 Montgomery Avenue, Suite 100
Narberth, Pennsylvania 19072-1913)
accommodated us as we became newlyweds
pledging our troth that hot July twenty fifth,
I try to recollect any vestige
constituting distinguishing,
under_scoring outstanding details
sifting thru hazy memories of past.
Today references when more' n force gore
and seven years ago
tha youngest daughter of
William and Sylvia Zison
found her lifetime beau (zoe)
pea ping over a paperback
(at present aye got nada clue of the title),
unbeknownst to him,
he would be
doing lifetime penance as a husband
and father, no longer

able to keep his head underground
like an ostrich or emu
foisted into marriage
when flagellated cell
didst ova whelm,
and subsequently flue
max, a panic prone
pencil necked geek
soon to learn goo
goo gaga, and brushing up
on Horton Hears a Hoo

learning to swaddle
airtight as an igloo
though a devout atheist gentile,
he attests genealogical lineage
linkedin many a Jew
but unfortunately only
scant details this groom knew,
hence he fabricated
while flushing in the loo,
which sketchy family tree
did include roomy, loony,

goofy, and cookey
offshoots, (essentially deadwood
pruning hooks never took down),
hence weak human DNA stock
freely germinating cow
wards less bright than
cloven hoofed bovines moo
ching and sometimes
tasting ****** Semitic brew,
especially espying bear naked lady
even yours truly

hollered yabba dabba doo
tasting verboten fruit
predestined to sire daughters
after enjoying despacito
while playing flugelhorn spitting
sputtering semantic glue
whereby biological totally
tubular fates loosed full bore
obligatory, yet paternal loving chore
foisting dada track detour
invoking fatherly delight

as fate found me to explore
the joys and sorrows
engaging das mister Harris
chieftain, sans family of four
attending, diapering, and pampering galore
which necessary task
aye could, nor would
be able to ignore
from which pier rill us
infant sea bay bee
launched jarring

insightful growing pains
attendant 'pon requisite
summer re: autotomy offspring,
when tears streamed
down cheeks as more
declarations of independence
meant nudging flight while pouring
heartfelt love shorering, and anchoring,
viz Harris blackstrap -
molasses survival skills,

thence giving progeny Thor
row lee - wharf fare
levying my best ******
gluten and MSG free
emotional bulwark whar
renting channeling concurrently bolstering
your preponderent swell alcove
harboring shipshape bon voyage.

Expediting distilled
when in the quarts of hue man ovens
this neptune salad days
steps outside summit Presbyterian Church -
and Westview Streets
near Weavers Way,
where yarn not gonna believe,
our traditional Jewish
wedding vows as merely imagined
courtesy fictitious Norwegian Jewish
bachelor farmer wannabe

so please pardon perfectly praiseworthy
precise preferential prevarication
page turning suspense
filled vaulted sepulchral air
ushering the veiled spouse to be
while afar off trumpets did blare
(arranged by
well known matchmaker Harriet Kuritsky)
creating the ambiance
analogous to a renaissance faire
yet contrasted in that this bachelor

and other men related to me
segregated with females and males
at a set distance away
i.e. not physically near
dictated by mandates
of Hebrew coda
stemming from Moses biological tree
which, separate quarters
ample enough to spare
until the proper toll of the bell would peal
accompanied by unified yippee!
After Rabbi Boyce officiated
for the groom and bride,
the crowd exalted with cheers
of L’Chaim with chutzpah
oompah sizzling and hot.

Klezmer musicians played schmaltz
which accompanied hoopla
as couples did waltz.
All the while family, friends and relatives
blessed the new groom and bride
although highly orthodox,
the men removed respective skullcap
more commonly known as yarmulke
some plain others dyed
women and children broke out
in traditional dance and song
while other did clap
exemplifying Yahweh to deliver mazal tov
and shalom as spiritual guide
to the pronounced husband and wife
who pledged their troth in a snap.
Toward conclusion
of typical Jewish wedding,
a full goblet of kosher red wine
got tossed in the air
this (in conjunction
with crush of emptied wine glass
sacred apex rite
of passage communicated a sign
and marshaled the crowd
to begin a local Jerusalem exodus
symbolic and clear.
As the newlyweds blissfully
and radiantly strolled arm in arm
and exited the Synagogue,
the euphoric and excited crowd
did house tossed handfuls
of uncle Ben’s unconverted libertarian rice
grown from norwegian bachelor farmers
on nearby organic whole foods farm
a chauffeur waited
to shuttle newlyweds to honeymoon location
passersby waved and bowed
and local fire department
rang a false alarm.

We now get along swimmingly
analogous to this bro and his older sis
on the cusp of our gifted silver married years
if her presence absent, I would sorely miss
after earlier decades bereft of wedded bliss.

Rarely did yours truly acknowledge birthday
of his former fancy free presently aging bride
gathered rosebuds while
rolling in our figurative hay
contra dance paramours
playing seek and hide
as we skedaddled down the line
hoot'n and holler'n hooray
nsync with foot stomping music airing pride
without prejudice, where
sense and sensibility accompanied sashay

vaguely hinting Puritanical ethos of Jane Austen
sexually stifled era, nevertheless
suppressed flirtation pried
loose courtesy adulterous,
affectionate and amorous way
love blind prospective husband
pledged marital covenant whereby
till death doth she part, I avowedly did stride
both of us pledged troth,
when marital Gordian knot tied.

Grim reaper eventual sweepstakes
will claim yours truly and me spouse anon
obliged to answer for whom the bell tolls... -
thank you John Donne,
perhaps mine missus gains
unexpected posthumous renown
thru sewing self styled couture
repurposing scraps of material
even in afterlife her unflagging spirit

banging out sought after stitched
assortment constituting richly adorned rags
hence cause for feted celebration
representing subsequent earth orbit around sun
lovely bones of counterpart being reincarnated
into favorite flower such as Peace Lily won.

Direct attestation, communication, exclamation,
genuflection, profession...
challenging verses crafting poetic adulation
mother of deux daughters I adore
with reasonable rhyme, a literary chore
feeble attempt and lame attempt made to explore
elements of style to write loving emotions galore
and disappointing if husband did ignore
one special day among
three hundred and sixty five
less for any obligation
but more so cuz sincere motive doth jive.

Impossible challenge-response mission
to captcha alive
elusive essence defined as love
exhibited via hormonal secretion
penetrating breastworks
hoping arousal to connive
(no fallacy) as anatomical male divining rod
scouted fertile crescent,
wherein peppy did dip and dive
that drove dis once young rammy man
(during me bachelorhood daze)
sexually afire by twenty and five

celibacy spurred stir crazy state
giving bee steel impression hive
been cruelly, seriously, and unhappily deprived
feasting upon verboten fruit
unhealthy suppression plus anxiety
spelled premature *******,
and presently enjoy spouse as finest companion
no matter testosterone drive went in reverse
meaning to fiendish predilection fornicate moot.

Thee marriage strongly bolstered principally thru
playful dynamics and/or verbal/oral *******
resolving regular potential conflicts
sets virtual stage to stave off violent altercations
most likely regarding insignificant issue
summoning forth active/deep listening
a renewable (non toxic) resource.

H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y

(in an attempt to cover up
(overlay) fruit fly waste byproduct)

At four feet eleven (fifty nine inches),
the spouse longitudinally challenged
hence she browbeats her husband,
(who only stands five feet ten inches)
but boosted in height
courtesy lightweight bench.

He gingerly maneuvers selected picture,
(i.e. wife artfully cut from magazine),
where ceiling meets wall
(right inside apartment door)
as beloved (oompa loompa) sweetheart
otherwise known as me said counterpart
carefully scrutinizes positioned snapshot.

"...More toward the right
and smidgen lower down"
impossible mission quite
challenging, I feel her smile or frown,
yours truly consigned to present plight
since he pledged his troth - downtown
Norristown, Pa (xxv plus years ago) knight

in shining armor agreed
to secure marriage license deed
since unicellular seminal seed
planted - while sowing oats we'd

both threw caution to the wind
(and nine months later
after surrendering to call of the wild
proud parents of beautiful child),
she long since flew the coup exiled
her father (me) and mother
to empty nest syndrome initially riled
with painstaking sadness.

In retrospect methinks how role as dad,
I blundered with countless faux pas - my bad
to mismanage challenges - and exclaim Egad,
albeit silently reflecting back many years
of course now glad -
both daughters overcame being mad

toward him who helped beget
while gamely gamboling, scampering, romping...
with barenaked lady
of course willing poet
(thrusting shaky spear) at large also unclad
(mine eventual permanent counterpart)
bedded upon mattress pad.

Even while solitary bachelorhood (aye
attest said status earthlinked me by and by
completing approximately three+ decades -
whoa how time did/doth fly)
one garden variety generic guy
(who e're since being little boy

felt extremely shy),
a characteristic, he now doth decry
cuz being socially withdrawn,
(yea... think figurative fly
on the wall, or wallflower
mein kampf devoid of healthy development
thus fashionably late socialization went awry

particularly when learning
contra dancing, although
juvenile behavior exhibited plying gal inapropos
became brazen and quickly learned not act slow,
when asking pretty thing, this bozo
genuflected and gesticulated...

ofttimes quickly made to eat crow
communicated with immediate revulsion,
(no matter I imagined myself
modest nonpareil beau)
actually eventually met young lady,
who took me as husband material "hugo
*** yarself a mate" -
track played within mind (mine)
lest celibate state worse than death - ya know?

Impossible mission, nevertheless
I take figurative aim
to craft poem without
experiencing wrathful blame
avoiding explicitly, ignominiously, specifically...
referencing mine heterosexual counterpart
that infamous she,

whom did ruthlessly claim
yours truly as her husband
snatching mine happy
go lucky bachelorhood
two dozen plus decades ago
(revered singular status
belonging to me),

one latitudinally and longitudinally
i.e. height and weight challenged dame
during earlier years of our marriage
prone to prematurely ******* and exclaim
expletive laced epithets toward me
once burnt twice shy,
courtesy unidentified heartbreaker

nonetheless pledged
her troth and did coldly frame
wedded covenant predicted
on mutual (of Omaha)
perk hens pact regarding fidelity
abiding rules linkedin
with matrimonial adult game.

Henceforth any future
reasonable rhyme I crochet
with words must not mention
name of spouse lest she flay
these lovely bones
and verbally inveigh
husband hoot hook literary leeway
time gone by to broadcast blithely,
albeit electronically
which liberty not okay
the missus pointedly did relay.

No idea why personal details
(about myself) shared with zeal
(hoop fully to curry spicy reciprocity)
yours truly not exceptionally discriminatory,
when rusty cogs turn with much friction 
barnacle encrusted cerebral
spongy bobbing square wheel
likened to (nails scraping
across chalkboard) -
which action evokes screeching squeal

an artifact of yesteryear school days
seen courtesy thirty five millimeter
black and white silent newsreel
portraying parochial
(baby boomer) kids
analogous to well trained dogs did heel
good luck heading toward
principal office filing lament better off
seeking devil (who wears Prada
or the latest couture) to appeal.

Circa August 18th, 2021
three years ago to date,
nevertheless I count blessings,
so please do not hashtag me
as worse than an ingrate
or one whose dire financial straits
attributed to flimflam scam artist,
who when he/she
asked direct questions
heavily trended to obfuscate
which penury now finds me to vacate
unaffordable costs living social on premises
of highland manor apartments.

Lemme titillate thee
regarding myself daily
soldiering thru breastworks
sidestepping veritable landmines irks
read out loud to experience
where dangerfield lurks
then twenty five years a husband
unknown marital perks
bachelorhood to die for,
cuz warp and weft

courtesy webbed and wedded bliss
incorporates life threatening quirks
analogous to demise Ottoman Turks
dissolution of said empire courtesy
by treaty and came to an end in 1922,
when the last Ottoman Sultan,
Mehmed VI, was deposed
and left the capital of Constantinople
(now Istanbul) in a British warship
courtesy Harris armaments works.

Hazardous beyond belief
trumpeted courtesy commander in chief
analogous crossing a landmine good grief
ensnared yours truly
mistaken for Baghdad thief.

Impossible mission to step up pace
when ambling one room to another
footfalls of generic guy approximating brisk,
cuz one misstep could find me flat on back
with damaged spinal disc
worse fate than experiencing
strong arms of law
reach out his hands that frisk
old meister wordsmith
merely ventures innocent risk,
yet may as well
surrender self to Taliban,
who would willingly whisk.

Garden variety Caucasian American bloke
afraid to tread amidst belongings strewn
pell mell outranking
rating tornado 5 courtesy
enhanced Fujita Scale,
whereat Good Housekeeping
demonized, insulted, and ostracized spouse.

As precautionary safeguard,
I carry treasured amulet
to ward off ill luck
toward life and limb you bet,
especially when gingerly
taking one step after another
modus operandi cachet
with lights turned off
owing steadfastness to prayerful debt
intoned toward guardian angel to get

self groping in dark without bifocals
envisioning severely myopic
(blind as a bat generic guy
without spectacles) met
bedded objective where,
menagerie of stuffed animals
(albeit Woodstock favorite pseudo pet),
which aforementioned Peanuts character
called warm fuzzy as sobriquet
wordsmith evinces, identifies,
outshines wit to whet.

The missus bursts out laughing,
whom I damnably scoff at and berate
as I trip head over heels
cursing said spouse ever since first date
at Tex-Mex restaurant
in North Wales, Pennsylvania,
a gut level intuitive sense -
even then our sealed fate
cursed analogously
crashing thru Hades gate
antagonistic altercations in actuality
displaced suppressed

anger toward parents,
which father and mother (both deceased)
their sole son of did hate
for afflicting psychological trauma
regarding them furiously irate
doling out ultimatums
interestingly enough comfort found
within company of loving mate,
she weaseled compassion
evidenced by poetic prattle I prate,
whereat ye can (of course) highly rate
feedback I eagerly await.

Lemme titillate thee
regarding myself daily soldiering thru breastworks
read out loud to experience
where dangerfield lurks
twenty five years a husband
unknown marital perks
bachelorhood to die for, cuz warp and weft
courtesy webbed and wedded bliss
incorporates life threatening quirks.

Hazardous beyond belief
analogous crossing a landmine good grief
ensnared yours truly mistaken for Baghdad thief.

Impossible mission to step up pace
when ambling one room to another
footfalls of generic guy approximating brisk,
cuz one misstep could find me flat on back
with damaged spinal disc
worse fate than experiencing
strong arms of law reach out his hands that frisk
old meister wordsmith
merely ventures innocent risk,
yet may as well surrender self to Taliban,
who would willingly whisk

Garden variety Caucasian American bloke
afraid to tread amidst belongings strewn
pell mell outranking rating tornado 5 courtesy
enhanced Fujita Scale
whereat Good Housekeeping ostracized spouse.

As precautionary safeguard, I carry amulet
to ward off ill luck toward life and limb you bet,
especially when gingerly
taking one step after another with lights turned off
owing steadfastness to prayerful debt
intoned toward guardian angel to get
self groping in dark without bifocals
envisioning severely myopic
(blind as a bat generic guy
without spectacles) met
bedded objective where
menagerie of stuffed animals
(albeit Woodstock favorite pseudo pet),
which aforementioned Peanuts character
called warm fuzzy as sobriquet.

The missus bursts out laughing,
whom I damnably scoff at and berate
as I trip head over heels
cursing said spouse ever since first date
at Tex-Mex restaurant
in North Wales, Pennsylvania,
a gut level intuitive sense -
even then our sealed fate
cursed analogously crashing thru Hades gate
antagonistic altercations in actuality
displaced suppressed anger toward parents,
which father and mother (both deceased)
their sole son of did hate
for afflicting psychological trauma
regarding them furiously irate
doling out ultimatums
interestingly enough comfort found
within company of loving mate,
she weaseled compassion
evidenced by poetic prattle I prate,
whereat ye can (of course) highly rate
feedback I eagerly await.

I woke up this morning
With deep thoughts of you
My bed was lonely without you
Rolling and rolling from north to south
I guess I am tired of bachelorhood
Surely, this is a good ssign

Your sweet smelling fragrance
That rubs off on the pillow
The taste of your organic saliva
When we exchange our juices
The still small voice you emit
When you ride and ride your funnel

Whenever you rest my head of your *******
The feeling is always soothingly magical
And can heal any ailment
Let me be your ride or die
I want to do life with you Baby
And the hour is now...

Leaving my bed is now an arduous task
I want to wake up to your breathe
You found a way to my heart
And left indelibly prints
It's high time I took the knee
Who's with me on this?

I listened with rapt attention
As my heart raced against time
My heart beats for you always
And each time I travel the night
All I want is to wake up in your world
A world of ecstasy, intended for pleasure

Each time your picture flashes
The man in me rages
Then again, my heart palpitates
My mind gravitates towards your star
Please lead me to your stream
Let me be your "Keregbe"

All I am, all I'll ever be
Is designed for you abinitio
Now I understand the place of finding
It's a long night my dear
My bed is becoming lonely without you
Now, this bachelorhood is boring
I am ready to be the man

I want to wake up to your breathe
Get lost in your holy temple
With cuddles and kisses
Talking about our beautiful tomorrow
Please take me to your gods
The one you rode to planet earth
It's time to place a ring on it