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"asylums" poems
its amazing what we’re capable of when pressed; lunar launches and shaman healing hail marys and fortunes of gold heavy hauls and broken borders war, compassion and treaties of peace all those wild and lofty regressions from the mean; soul re-settings (from deadly deeds) scores and scriptures liberty and peace walls, asylums (in the jaws of defeat!) channeled spirits of warmth and love and connection and sometimes, it’s just a little fodder; pyramids and viaducts aqua-lines and chunnels spider climbs and deep dives (with base jumps near the high wire) gardens, and divine art and even water boards (for beauty is always in the eye of the beholder!) have a look around... and let gratitude be your guide
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Mar 28, 2017
Mar 28, 2017 at 11:56 PM UTC
The Miracle Room
this is not a goodbye, this is my death, the epitome of my burried-7ft-under-the-ground naive with both eyes wide ******* open this, i said, is not a goodbye this is my war, another version of daily sword cry between my body and the body of my body both bleeding, both pleading this, my friend, is never what a goodbye should look like this is just me, hanging, begging, knocking and crawling, just another tv show about breaking plates, or lost planes, or abandoned planets just another boring 195 minutes episode of empty asylums, dry lips, and false alarms or this is the paragon of your goodbye, alongside with my everyday asked question of “so what comes after death?” or “how many nights was it my mom cried after the divorce?” or “how do two souls that used to see each other bare drift away with full armor of clothes?” or how much more do i have to pour, because i have dried all of my words, and metaphor, there's only so many ways of describing how it feels like to be destroyed (but this is time for me too to realize that without a goodbye, it's still you and me going straight back to 0 or -1 or -100) i understand so this is your way of saying goodbye ; not even saying it at all so there was no closure just me left confused in a never ending roller coaster ride so this is your way of saying goodbye ; you ******* erased the word 'good' out of it
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Sep 17, 2016
Sep 17, 2016 at 10:15 PM UTC
(not even close to) sweet revoir
There was a saviour Rarer than radium, Commoner than water, crueller than truth; Children kept from the sun Assembled at his tongue To hear the golden note turn in a groove, Prisoners of wishes locked their eyes In the jails and studies of his keyless smiles. The voice of children says From a lost wilderness There was calm to be done in his safe unrest, When hindering man hurt Man, animal, or bird We hid our fears in that murdering breath, Silence, silence to do, when earth grew loud, In lairs and asylums of the tremendous shout. There was glory to hear In the churches of his tears, Under his downy arm you sighed as he struck, O you who could not cry On to the ground when a man died Put a tear for joy in the unearthly flood And laid your cheek against a cloud-formed shell: Now in the dark there is only yourself and myself. Two proud, blacked brothers cry, Winter-locked side by side, To this inhospitable hollow year, O we who could not stir One lean sigh when we heard Greed on man beating near and fire neighbour But wailed and nested in the sky-blue wall Now break a giant tear for the little known fall, For the drooping of homes That did not nurse our bones, Brave deaths of only ones but never found, Now see, alone in us, Our own true strangers' dust Ride through the doors of our unentered house. Exiled in us we arouse the soft, Unclenched, armless, silk and rough love that breaks all rocks.
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2.6k
There Was A Saviour
so it begins when it begins blasé grass serrates past herds of carabao dreaming anxiously of the day's toil; the countryman stilts through mounted in gray mountain with dippers, casserole, mirrors with imprints of ******** clad women and women who are (really ******** clad) ready for bathing work, collections of red days and even tenderly the ***** sing attenuated songs of rooming-houses — the crunch of basil over the afternoon. waft of a pasture's death my eyes well up rivers and ponds of elation. dog days, feral nights limp behind rusted kennels and makeshift asylums there is nothing left of the world (this small world that only rises when bellows of festivities harangue the many streets bending in them, the curve) men moving from neck to neck of bottles — (in the north there is only four corners of bottle: gin, pristine brook; in the Visayas is the redolent Vino Kulafu of the same potency) plucked out of the vermilion and on benched careening on half-painted gates crooning Sinatra gets stabbed, bloodied on the floor, named after elegies; native chicken held upside down and beheaded as many blacker days stifled; what do you make out of this? carabaos, equines, hens line up the slaughterhouse behind the TODA; you know a fine day when it happens — breaking eggs against the lip of the kaldero. crumbled archaic sensurround, barrage of simmer round the clock cycling before the child wakes and wails to suckle our mothers, faster than repose of milbrightlions of stars falling asleep to silent radios, leaving windows open revisited by the eve of cold.
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Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 10:24 PM UTC
Plaridelius
so it begins when it begins blasé grass serrates past herds of carabao dreaming anxiously of the day's toil; the countryman stilts through mounted in gray mountain with dippers, casserole, mirrors with imprints of ******** clad women and women who are (really ******** clad) ready for bathing work, collections of red days and even tenderly the ***** sing attenuated songs of rooming-houses — the crunch of basil over the afternoon. waft of a pasture's death my eyes well up rivers and ponds of elation. dog days, feral nights limp behind rusted kennels and makeshift asylums there is nothing left of the world (this small world that only rises when bellows of festivities harangue the many streets bending in them, the curve) men moving from neck to neck of bottles — (in the north there is only four corners of bottle: gin, pristine brook; in the Visayas is the redolent Vino Kulafu of the same potency) plucked out of the vermilion and on benched careening on half-painted gates crooning Sinatra gets stabbed, bloodied on the floor, named after elegies; native chicken held upside down and beheaded as many blacker days stifled; what do you make out of this? carabaos, equines, hens line up the slaughterhouse behind the TODA; you know a fine day when it happens — breaking eggs against the lip of the kaldero. crumbled archaic sensurround, barrage of simmer round the clock cycling before the child wakes and wails to suckle our mothers, faster than repose of milbrightlions of stars falling asleep to silent radios, leaving windows open revisited by the eve of cold.
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44
I’ll lay here and let the sun make love Penetrate the shielded part of my being to bear the brightness of its warmth right to the base of the unmoved core and when hysteria sizzles time passes right to the century of the ancient timeline where women sadness was denied access only to be healed by a scientific ***** massage that gentle movement of finger in the pelvic to bridge the eruption with the explosive paroxysms where a woman would relive forgetting all the unattention behaviour bore by their husband women wombs would be removed so as not to feel women ****** desire would be numbed so as not to feel women would be sent into asylums so as not to feel They are ****** women confiscicated to a domestic gloom Let them tend to the men and gain no societical standing until the doctors got tired of it all, with broken hands those cramped fingers and supportive bandages tired of motioning and fumigation of the libia with sweet smelling and relaxing oily lotions It was as simple as that...... the change of notions and the innovation of the handheld vibrators eradicated hysteria in mere 1952........
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Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 5:27 AM UTC
Hysterical paroxysm
scratched walls, horrifying screams, of dreams, electric chair stupor, in the boudoir, breathing lunar air, it’s a psychotic affair. dilated pupil, the brain was being a cupel, men in white coats, injecting drugs, in bodies like slugs. soaked bodies in bath tub, gazing on the ceiling reading what’s written up. loonies conspiring against the medic, through the power of psychedelic. eyeing each doctor from the corner of their eye, sitting on their chairs high. burning with desire, cold as a wire. the breakout began at noon, headed by a loon. followed by a goon, in the end of june. the loons, wanted to escape to the desert dunes, running away from the chemical fumes, dodging exhume. electrocuted, injected, infected, discarded and rejected. the loons had taken over, the goons had won. they were stun. terrible turn of events, it was all in their mind tents, still sulking on the beds and their wheel chairs, dreaming of the answers of their prayers.
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Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015 at 8:39 AM UTC
asylums for the sane
It was in wander for not lost was she. It was in wonder for without sin she walked towards the tree bearing sweet fruit enticing her forward lust sent a lumber puncture through her spine upwards it shot to the brain; cerebral forms into a beating heart. It excited her there was such freedom found in such innocence. Pulsating quivers she waited Adam to her Eve daisy chains falling from her neck framing a prepubescent chest hooks temperately fastening white knotted cotton hand sewn dress virginal white no womanhood in sight Annabelle’s life, a melody of melancholic cacophonic raspers from asylums, former patients of Briarcliff Manor residing in her; only misery innocent running’s from grave dangers of stark raving madness. For, today she wasn’t embroiled as Arden’s pet instead she was the little girl so born to be before the woman was stolen, bound by a physicians sick nightmarish re-enactments. For, today she was free a starling, passionate darling. © Sia Jane
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Nov 9, 2014
Nov 9, 2014 at 7:10 PM UTC
Asylum
Blood splatter Brain matter Arms crossed Children lost You shouldn’t get To look away Cold metal slabs Filled with bad Rooms brimming Ready to burst With the sad You shouldn’t get To look away Bone fragment Metal shards Bombed out buildings Scarred the yard Flowers crushed Before their time You shouldn’t get To look away Open wounds Pacifier soaked in blood Children in school With nowhere to run Can’t hide from A bomb Can’t find a tunnel to sanity While this goes on You shouldn’t get to look away Madmen don’t live in asylums They wear suits and ties Eat power lunches While bombs fly Turn a blind eye For profit No matter what it costs You may try to hide Let others decide Who lives and dies But no one should get to look away See what’s left Feel their pain Give me your reasons Try to explain But as long as it happens Again and again No one should get to look away
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Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 3:00 AM UTC
You Shouldn't Get To Look Away
Trash bag suits, ****** innuendos galore. She’s a potato! He’s a pterodactyl! Well, she just transformed, She’s now a sock. Bro ******* Analyzing bread. She can’t comprehend. Snapping, Shoddy renditions of West Side Story. Bashing, On my observational skills. This is normal, It is routine. No drugs, No mental asylums, Just my lunch table.
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Nov 29, 2012
Nov 29, 2012 at 10:27 PM UTC
My Life
If you stare out of a window Across a bleak garden some September morning If the neem tree in the garden reminds you of home Vast, old, timeless If you remember playing under a neem tree in Allahabad And you can almost hear the laughter of children as they play In the heat of a sultry afternoon in June And because the window is small and barred and cannot open Because you want to breathe freedom Because you want to shower without them watching Because you silently swallow your screams Because your mind is starting to get fuzzy Because your tongue is starting to slur Because you have started drooling Because your fingers shake when you write Because the words Ritalin Prozac Depakote Lithium Have started sounding like poetry Because you feel your resistance slowly dying Because you start to say the words they want to hear Because you know the glazed look in the eyes of others Is in your eyes too Because this confluence of muscle and bone is wasting Because you sleep for hours Because you now smile at your doctors Because you scream when the ECT paraphernalia is wheeled in Because no one cares Because once you’re labeled, you will be forever Because asylums were once freak shows Because asylum is not what it means You go back to staring Staring Staring Staring Staring Staring Staring Staring
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Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 1:05 PM UTC
Staring
You and I You And I - I Could drown myself in melted polar ice caps, or illusions of Niagara Falls (or does it?) Could join a nudist colony Could dismember my body parts 'recreationally' Could (or will) document my own downward spiral/lay eggs in vast and immeasurable labyrinths/where the paradox of my self-pity mingles with my bragging/swaggering teen angst and date!-mate!-procreate!- into a thousand descendants of my rotting fleshhhhhh - You Present yourself in - Hallways rambling in front of me with asylums spilling into corridors of confusion Rrrrrrriiipppp of either paper pulling from notebooks or flesh pulling from bone Virtual college applications tabbed over with two different Buy Your Own Russian Wife! websites and ignored by your -loving parents- An arrogant 18-year-old boy standing before the Committee of Elders (pleading insanity) Twenty-four permanent markers with generic names The pseudo-poetic lure of "Call ___ For a GOOD TIME" graffitis on the bathroom wall of a Whole Foods you spend six weeks jacking off in - Look, that's great and all, but I think you are a (beanstalk), no time to (talk), less of a (walk) and more of a climb - to reach your face, and when I lean to kiss it (fee fi fo fum) I smell the blood of a human one (I'm tired of stooping and I'm tired of looking at old people) You And I Could have Been Anyone! But no, Just more of the same.
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Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 12:43 AM UTC
Hang Up after Hello (?)
I wrote this a few months ago on a flight across the country. Not my best, but it healed me a bit Thinking about you doesn't get any easier and even at 30,000 feet in the air the feeling you left with me somehow manages to suffocate me, through twenty different layers of clouds and pressurized cabins. The lady sitting next to me has a sad look in her eyes. Maybe she is suffering through some kind of heartbreak herself, just like me. She orders her coffee black. I want to reach out to her and hold her hand, but it's probably too cold, and she might **** away from my touch, the same way you did that day when you left. She smells like cheap perfume and the lies of lovers she has tried too hard to forget. I wonder about jumping right out this plane right now. I wonder if I'd land with a splat and if a nice young man would arrive with a broom and pan, sweep me up, and discard me into the nearest trash can, like they do in the carnivals. Would I regret it the moment my feet left the edge of the plane? Would I get the same feeling in my stomach on the way down as I did when we were together? I think I'd only jump if I were holding your hand. I wrote “I miss you” in a too big sharpie across the front of my notebook on Tuesday. Colored it in blue because there’s not enough green to feel much else when you're not around. Two hours to go and my entire life is falling down around me. (Leave me be leave me be leave me be.) I want to be the space that water fills between your toes and hidden among the things that keeps your rusty heart beating. But I can't be the oil that makes your wheels keep spinning. At best I'm the hot hot steam that keeps your hands from burning and bleeding. You don't want me and you never fell in love with me. You fell in love with words I learned to recite and looks I knew when to give and this carcinogenic smile. Apologies don't sound as true as they should and I never really say what I mean. I'm just as ****** up as you. And these are words carved into walls of abandoned asylums and painted on canvases with blood in lieu of paint and this is the only way I know how to say that I know what you're going through and what you've been through and how sorry I am that I can't be everything you expected of me.
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Jun 18, 2013
Jun 18, 2013 at 12:02 AM UTC
Plane & Not Very Simple
I wrote this a few months ago on a flight across the country. Not my best, but it healed me a bit Thinking about you doesn't get any easier and even at 30,000 feet in the air the feeling you left with me somehow manages to suffocate me, through twenty different layers of clouds and pressurized cabins. The lady sitting next to me has a sad look in her eyes. Maybe she is suffering through some kind of heartbreak herself, just like me. She orders her coffee black. I want to reach out to her and hold her hand, but it's probably too cold, and she might **** away from my touch, the same way you did that day when you left. She smells like cheap perfume and the lies of lovers she has tried too hard to forget. I wonder about jumping right out this plane right now. I wonder if I'd land with a splat and if a nice young man would arrive with a broom and pan, sweep me up, and discard me into the nearest trash can, like they do in the carnivals. Would I regret it the moment my feet left the edge of the plane? Would I get the same feeling in my stomach on the way down as I did when we were together? I think I'd only jump if I were holding your hand. I wrote “I miss you” in a too big sharpie across the front of my notebook on Tuesday. Colored it in blue because there’s not enough green to feel much else when you're not around. Two hours to go and my entire life is falling down around me. (Leave me be leave me be leave me be.) I want to be the space that water fills between your toes and hidden among the things that keeps your rusty heart beating. But I can't be the oil that makes your wheels keep spinning. At best I'm the hot hot steam that keeps your hands from burning and bleeding. You don't want me and you never fell in love with me. You fell in love with words I learned to recite and looks I knew when to give and this carcinogenic smile. Apologies don't sound as true as they should and I never really say what I mean. I'm just as ****** up as you. And these are words carved into walls of abandoned asylums and painted on canvases with blood in lieu of paint and this is the only way I know how to say that I know what you're going through and what you've been through and how sorry I am that I can't be everything you expected of me.
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5
As I sit on this assigned desk ears drooling with institution gel I swirl on the seat, the wind pause Musing in evangelised dilemmas Lobotomised to jerking veracities Sagacity amateurs boost egos Stooping and stooging in asylums Barricading others progression Regressed losing solid grounds Jurisdictional custodial supervisions An infused scent of propagandism Scenes of robotic observational modelling Unprincipled to insist on another destiny Calculating targeted risked predictions Regulated to invigilate and unroll a matrix grid Who am I? To forge his,her or their trench
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Mar 9, 2016
Mar 9, 2016 at 7:56 AM UTC
Propagandism
I long for what I’ve never known: a word that captures the foreign feels of speech surging from my throat, the ways they shake and crack with fury and failure as I break away from the safety of silence, in jagged and fragmented sentences–I’m desperate to seize meaning, trying words like puzzle pieces, I’ll force them to fit together to form the spaces of pieces missing. My greatest fear is to be incomplete. And I’m constantly reminded of this over coffee-talk and shared politics as I recoil shyly in forced defense of each vowel, and every consonant and the myriad of their constructions: they are stuck behind my eyes. I am left apologizing for my vagueness and for the grey shades of embarrassment and finite language–when a dictionary is never a long enough read for the lone, longer walk around the circumference of my head–or any red eye flight I have ever caught that takes me from thought to thought: the moving belts of baggage claim don’t have to tell me of the luggage I lost. As possessions were plucked from circuitry I clung to the emptiness as if it was mine and took it home as leverage. I write in circles ’til I’m motion sick. I write myself into thought-asylums where silence is another language: a slow germination of roots lacing down the bell-curve of my spine. A foreign tongue, An othered alphabet.
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Nov 27, 2012
Nov 27, 2012 at 4:58 AM UTC
Hypologia
I Am Lost. I hurt all over again. Because I cannot forgive. I try, but I still resent those who stubbed me straight through the heart. My Family. My ex Lovers. My Community. I want to let it all go. This is a prayer of my hurting, breaking and bleeding heart. Help me. Help me LET GO Of all that cause my tears to soak my pillow most days. Help me. Teach Me. To forgive. To let go. To Heal. I need You. I can't do asylums no MORE. I Don't want to cut anymore. Help Me Jesus. I know you are out, up there somewhere. Help  me. Please. ©The Unspoken
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Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 8:19 AM UTC
Fix Me...Jesus, Fix Me.
i found two things bewildering, alzheimer's attacks the pronoun category, and other forms of it too, but modern psychiatry having abolished asylums for a humane revision of its practice has become a branch of medicine that over-prescribes nouns, and by such over-prescription invents noun jargon, it cut open an ancient greek word, used the prefix (overly) and added a suffix (sufficiently) to make no sense whatsoever, it prescribes neonouns like it prescribes pills that don't work... or if working then in a negative way... anti-psychotics can make you **** yourself in your bed when sleeping, i've been drinking for some time, and my bladder is arnold schwarzenegger, when i used to be on anti-psychotics for no adequate reason (living in a post-colonial society does that to you, you can come from lithuania or poland and be treated like a would-be coloniser to extract the fastest sprinters for a new country, without the "doctors" treating you adequately), so as i said: alzheimer's attacks the pronouns, the iron core of the earth that's an individual thus dislodging all the adequate orientations of categorisations of words... like psychiatry abuses the noun category: schizoid, schizo-affective, plain dumb schizophrenic... bi-polar, uni-polar, plain dumb depressed... psychiatry has long established a monopoly on nouns... i just use their terminology to excavate a new grammatical categorisation of words, from poetry, among nouns adjectives pronouns and conjunctions... you'll find psychiatry nicely suited and booted as a word categorisation: metaphor: all psychiatric diagnostics should be categorised as metaphorical... 'cos they name it... but have no idea as to how to behave behind it: it's not like they say cancer and you're expected to die... you're expected to live in their terminology of treating you for a ******* pay-cheque: you won't even commit a crime, but they'll treat you like a criminal... so long suckers... i mean western europeans, i rather live in (as the americans say) i-raq... and shoot a bunch of you protected by what i see as the final solution you thought was once church v. state... how about segregating democracy (the church) from bureaucracy (the state)... but of course the two are mutually dependent.
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Jan 30, 2016
Jan 30, 2016 at 7:19 PM UTC
democracy (the church) / bureaucracy (the state)
i found two things bewildering, alzheimer's attacks the pronoun category, and other forms of it too, but modern psychiatry having abolished asylums for a humane revision of its practice has become a branch of medicine that over-prescribes nouns, and by such over-prescription invents noun jargon, it cut open an ancient greek word, used the prefix (overly) and added a suffix (sufficiently) to make no sense whatsoever, it prescribes neonouns like it prescribes pills that don't work... or if working then in a negative way... anti-psychotics can make you **** yourself in your bed when sleeping, i've been drinking for some time, and my bladder is arnold schwarzenegger, when i used to be on anti-psychotics for no adequate reason (living in a post-colonial society does that to you, you can come from lithuania or poland and be treated like a would-be coloniser to extract the fastest sprinters for a new country, without the "doctors" treating you adequately), so as i said: alzheimer's attacks the pronouns, the iron core of the earth that's an individual thus dislodging all the adequate orientations of categorisations of words... like psychiatry abuses the noun category: schizoid, schizo-affective, plain dumb schizophrenic... bi-polar, uni-polar, plain dumb depressed... psychiatry has long established a monopoly on nouns... i just use their terminology to excavate a new grammatical categorisation of words, from poetry, among nouns adjectives pronouns and conjunctions... you'll find psychiatry nicely suited and booted as a word categorisation: metaphor: all psychiatric diagnostics should be categorised as metaphorical... 'cos they name it... but have no idea as to how to behave behind it: it's not like they say cancer and you're expected to die... you're expected to live in their terminology of treating you for a ******* pay-cheque: you won't even commit a crime, but they'll treat you like a criminal... so long suckers... i mean western europeans, i rather live in (as the americans say) i-raq... and shoot a bunch of you protected by what i see as the final solution you thought was once church v. state... how about segregating democracy (the church) from bureaucracy (the state)... but of course the two are mutually dependent.
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54
her tongue rattles a smoky gauze wet lipped licks a velvet ***** holding her slavering heart tin tin deo while she finger painted her inside thighs  honey glazed red hot as a fever her mouth pours out of itself a flagellating tongue    fluent *** blizzard tin tin deo dumb founded happy cross-eyed her head like a carved moon swaying asylums of shrieking beds curved slick as a honeymoon **** tin tin deo a storm of purple blowing wind of violets from her warm kiln belly zodiac    ancient ********** ravishing flame ruler of ever dreams tin tin deo
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Jul 7, 2019
Jul 7, 2019 at 1:59 PM UTC
TIN TIN DEO....I UNDERSTAND YOU
I remember shooting up in the alley between the old library and the church it wasn't poetic, it was a fix and nothing more. I remember meeting Jesus and asking him why he was so full of **** Why cities burned and madmen killed? He said it wasn't his problem. The devil cried and was cast away for his tears. The gun had become truth and the lies had become gospel. The junkies became a test subject for the futures asylums residents. I laid down feeling the cold of the street and the warmth of the fix. I asked for a reason and the ******* gave none he just asked me to share what I could not control. Why? is not a question for life simply duck your head and follow Follow to marriage, follow to war, follow to death. **** without question and feed the lost vice. I never spoke to him again but I never would be ever that person who shot up again either. I didn't need pages to guide me. As I write my own answers I ask no guidance from empty skies. Maybe their anger will keep me warm. But maybe it wasn't my problem to begin with.
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Dec 19, 2015
Dec 19, 2015 at 12:14 AM UTC
Dreams Of Fix
Light spills from doorways and streetlamps Reaching for you but always falling short. You are alone in a pool of darkness Windows yawning and empty. Shards of glass glitter faintly, Strewn in the dirt around you like stars orbiting a black hole. Vines twist among the bricks Digging into the intimate parts of you, The cracks and weaknesses, Prying back doors and invading your drainpipes and fire escapes. Long since collapsed, The roof hangs in shreds Letting the night pour into you Cool and unsettling Like black water. You are not empty You are filled. You hold what I hold. Something different. Something ancient. Something cold. Life creeps into you Around you Crawling, unseen, through the basements and shuttered rooms Crumbling ancient paint so that it falls from the walls and ceilings In sheets like heavy rain. You are filled with deathly life You are filled with What cannot die, What endures. You are not a ruin, not to me. You are a shrine to things lost To moments of silence and suffering You are an echo of the dark power that seeps up from the dirt and coils in my stomach Whenever I step outside at night. I press my palms to you: Nourish me. Feed me darkness And I will feed you Secrets. Give me silence. Give me peace. Give me Solidity. Make me stone.
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Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 12:22 AM UTC
To The Empty Asylums
There is a place on the edge of town, It's small, it's dark, it will bring you down. People go there when the clock strikes twelve, Never again will you see them alive. It is an old hospital, For the asylum seekers, Abandoned and neglected Just like the reapers, People will tell you of the screams that can be heard, From all of the patients that died here. You will want to run, But the walls will close, Keeping you there, In the asylums doors, But don't be scared, and don't be alarmed, You've joined the group, Of mentally harmed.
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Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 6:08 PM UTC
The place on the edge of town
I am a practitioner of art, said Alice, oil and canvas are my daily bread, charcoal blackens my fingers, darkens my soul, my dreams are of *** and men lost, I bed sad men in my thoughts. My art keeps me from asylums, takes me from the doctor’s couch to the lonely studio, the air full of fumes and stale food and my unwashed body. My mother was a slave to the kitchen sink, her life spent in domestic chores, in my father’s bed, in the worrying times she popped the pills, drank the bottles dry. I am the spyer of secret lovers, my sister’s men in her double bed, the laughter and tears in equal measure,   the flowers and bruises all fondly kept, the split lips and black eyes, she wore with pleasure. I am the painter of other’s souls, images oiled in with the darkest colours, their features blended with the darkness of their lives. My brother sat with his demons, supped with them in his lonely hours, injected the nightmare makers with the addict’s skill, he slept uneasy in another’s bed, chased by his demons and women until he died, a bullet in his head. I listen to Parsifal on the old Hifi the Wagnerian opera is my secret drug, my opener of days, my closer at nights, the background to my daily arguments and fights. My father was my only healer, his loving touches healed my hurts, stitched my cuts and wounds, he watered down my temper’s scorns; he alone shared my soul’s foul deeds, knew my heartaches, my scars of *** and doctored my soul’s lack. He was cornered by the cancer’s hold, its icy fingers in his bones and skin, its deadly smell in his breath and flesh and his parting words were lost in the final rattle. I am the artist of life’s dark wars and ancient wounding battle.
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Dec 22, 2012
Dec 22, 2012 at 5:48 AM UTC
ALICE AND HER WONDERLAND.
I am a practitioner of art, said Alice, oil and canvas are my daily bread, charcoal blackens my fingers, darkens my soul, my dreams are of *** and men lost, I bed sad men in my thoughts. My art keeps me from asylums, takes me from the doctor’s couch to the lonely studio, the air full of fumes and stale food and my unwashed body. My mother was a slave to the kitchen sink, her life spent in domestic chores, in my father’s bed, in the worrying times she popped the pills, drank the bottles dry. I am the spyer of secret lovers, my sister’s men in her double bed, the laughter and tears in equal measure,   the flowers and bruises all fondly kept, the split lips and black eyes, she wore with pleasure. I am the painter of other’s souls, images oiled in with the darkest colours, their features blended with the darkness of their lives. My brother sat with his demons, supped with them in his lonely hours, injected the nightmare makers with the addict’s skill, he slept uneasy in another’s bed, chased by his demons and women until he died, a bullet in his head. I listen to Parsifal on the old Hifi the Wagnerian opera is my secret drug, my opener of days, my closer at nights, the background to my daily arguments and fights. My father was my only healer, his loving touches healed my hurts, stitched my cuts and wounds, he watered down my temper’s scorns; he alone shared my soul’s foul deeds, knew my heartaches, my scars of *** and doctored my soul’s lack. He was cornered by the cancer’s hold, its icy fingers in his bones and skin, its deadly smell in his breath and flesh and his parting words were lost in the final rattle. I am the artist of life’s dark wars and ancient wounding battle.
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52
Empty rooms a glance into are futures lost conviction sweetest angel of the truest flaw may I glimpse the depth none other ever did care to see? In shared vice words hollow held you as the scars we bare forgotten to only us none should ever have to view . Where did the glow fade to corners of such darkness we simply died as the old to become jaded as we stand shattered the shards but fragments of the past I no longer care to reflect. Lust of the moment a need and service nothing more. We can give all to only share with so few and in those moments perfection is the truth as ****** up as we are . Lines I give the flesh you lend cold as the winters imprint over the mountains peak . Escape the moments only to relive the misery's with every emotional fix. You cant go through hell not to show some scars will you embrace mine as I have yours my dear? We together hold more stories than a asylums wall. Yet still we stand only to part. There's no escape from the memories even down the snake of the highway to the western sunsets reprise. Guess we just have the now so **** the past it just get in the way. We run a train so happily heading off the rails in shared addiction my dear how I thrive in the destruction my friends I shine no matter the name it's always me. Her love was like the purest ****** deadly but so ******* alluring and uncut in it's seduction why run when we can walk into a self destructive mess together? Miles pass we can't deny it's a habit like any other late night calls and midnight meetings this stays between us right? We know the outcome yet like fools before we tread on ground and lies created by broken souls and now scorched earth. So ******* right in the feeling in the wrong sense . Claw marks don't leave a bruise but make me feel alive unlike him she speaks within confines of he darkened cab. And in hell do we find the sanctuary none others can provide . Were all wrong just together within a storm shelter can provide comfort even in the pure ******** of false truths and empty lies . And the broken hearts bleed all the same .
0
Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 6:57 PM UTC
To The Many And The Few We New None So Well
Empty rooms a glance into are futures lost conviction sweetest angel of the truest flaw may I glimpse the depth none other ever did care to see? In shared vice words hollow held you as the scars we bare forgotten to only us none should ever have to view . Where did the glow fade to corners of such darkness we simply died as the old to become jaded as we stand shattered the shards but fragments of the past I no longer care to reflect. Lust of the moment a need and service nothing more. We can give all to only share with so few and in those moments perfection is the truth as ****** up as we are . Lines I give the flesh you lend cold as the winters imprint over the mountains peak . Escape the moments only to relive the misery's with every emotional fix. You cant go through hell not to show some scars will you embrace mine as I have yours my dear? We together hold more stories than a asylums wall. Yet still we stand only to part. There's no escape from the memories even down the snake of the highway to the western sunsets reprise. Guess we just have the now so **** the past it just get in the way. We run a train so happily heading off the rails in shared addiction my dear how I thrive in the destruction my friends I shine no matter the name it's always me. Her love was like the purest ****** deadly but so ******* alluring and uncut in it's seduction why run when we can walk into a self destructive mess together? Miles pass we can't deny it's a habit like any other late night calls and midnight meetings this stays between us right? We know the outcome yet like fools before we tread on ground and lies created by broken souls and now scorched earth. So ******* right in the feeling in the wrong sense . Claw marks don't leave a bruise but make me feel alive unlike him she speaks within confines of he darkened cab. And in hell do we find the sanctuary none others can provide . Were all wrong just together within a storm shelter can provide comfort even in the pure ******** of false truths and empty lies . And the broken hearts bleed all the same .
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21
walking the concrete pave i started to feel a bulging softness in my liver, just the sheer balloonness of it, not attached to any bone, it was too much for me, i had to walk into the greenbelt darkness to feel the soft pouches of earth beneath the feet and banish all livery sentiments of the silken doughy thought, and in there i said: with the abolishment of asylums psychiatry has become evermore bothersome, imagine if the churches were closed and priests freely roamed, not since henry the eight such travesty, with it, psycho-synthesis and very little psychoanalysis: because who the hell would diagnose a child of two with some symptoms accumulative as a.d.h.d.? where's the: climb a tree break a leg then tango on with crutches?
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Sep 24, 2015
Sep 24, 2015 at 5:58 AM UTC
the future of it all
Maybe all the insane asylums are filled with Jesus's and Maybe all the churches are filled with maniacs. and Maybe all the schools are filled with dead beats and Maybe all the streets are filled with brainiacs. and Maybe businessmen are not in business chairs But hospitals instead. and Maybe doctors aren't lab rats in coats But witches beneath jungles. and Maybe all teachings aren't in books But in trees again. and Maybe all leaders are not statues But fell off the square edged earth. and Maybe politics is just what it seems Whore-ish drunkards and rigged card games.
0
Aug 7, 2013
Aug 7, 2013 at 7:46 AM UTC
Say a prayer for me