I have overcome my demons,
The struggles I once faced.
I am a new person,
With thicker skin.
In time;
Words became my comfort.
The scars are just lines,
From blades in the past.

How can I recover?
I just can't.
I need my blades,
***** five months.
I am a failure,
In everyone's eyes.

You controlled me,
For at least eight months.
You made my life hell,
When everyone was trying to fix it.
I blamed myself,
Hell, I still do.
You are a psychopath,
I tried to fix you.
Obviously I couldn't,
Now I live with this Anxiety.
I live in constant fear.
I never thought someone,
Would do this.
Someone would treat me so bad.
You're just like my father.
I guess I couldn't help you.
I should have helped myself first.

I'm alive
I'm recovering.
Slowly,
But I am.
I am winning,
The battle I've fought.
It's been a long time.
I will win.
Through the shakes,
The mood swings,
*Everything

I feel dead,
Not dead, dead.
Just dead.
Emotionally,
Physically,
Mentally,
Dead.

It's been one month,
Three weeks,
Six days.
Or...
1,392 hours,
Where I haven't been alive.

It's like ****,
Like a cigarette,
Even alcohol.
There's a rush,
Then there's the numb feeling,
Then blood.

I miss it ******.