I once asked my grand father if he was afraid of death.
He replied with a simple, "I've never feard death. They didn't teach you to die in the military".

The last time I visited his hospital bed, he was barely breathing.
He pulled me close.
I asked if he could see a bright light.

He replied, "no...I've never...been more scared...in my life"

My dear friends,
The shadows still creep at your doorstep
And the past still comes back to haunt you.
When our memories hit our senses
We find it hard to stand at the remembrance of our pain!
Of the drive to our blood-flow
Dripping from our mouths and our fingertips!
It will never be easy
It will never be easy!
It will never be easier to look back at our past
And throw our heads back in the wind as we smile and laugh!
It will never be easy!
It will never not be hard to look at the scars on our hearts
And say that it was okay, or that it was easy to get this far...
Oh but I can!
I can look back on all the mistakes I made
And see the never ending love of grace
That covers me when I start to shake!
And drives me to never give up on faith.
And that love is for me and you.
There is someone who created this world, who is madly in love with you too!
And we can try and bottle him in a cliche statement and in Sunday mornings!
But when your blood flows back into your wounds and the skin is no longer broken
You can tell that there is more to this God we hate, than the lies of those who claim they're chosen.
-Don't believe the lies my friends.
Don't believe the lies!
There are many who say they know his name, but not many who've seen his eyes!
The shadow is hard to see and gets darker every night!
But the sun will shine on us each day, and I promise that we'll see the light-

It's been too long since I heard that sound of your sails blowing in the breeze.
We were once a friendly band of brothers, but now I'm just lonely company.
Lonely stifling-
Steady lonely drifts down memory lane
As I try and recall how it felt before the rain,
Before you and I became a lullaby
That I have to sing to close my eyes-
Before death and life were no surprise,
Before I felt the hope inside me die-

Before the storm came passing by
I used to fall in love.
I used to sing with all my heart and dance before the burning sun!
I used to watch the waves go by, as I loved my company of two!
But after dark I close my eyes; I doubt that I'll ever see you.

I doubt that somewhere there might be another sunlight,
Another star sight!
Another love's type!
Another blue sky!
Another bird's cry!
Another new life-
Another memory left for you and I-

-No,
I can't imagine what it'd be like
To hold your hand, to hold it tight-
Shut my eyes, shut my eyes,
Before I start to realize
That nothing can ever be right!
-I want to imagine you again!
Another memory to share with a wonderful friend!
Another dream to be told, another lifetime to spend-
I would give it my all!
-I would do it again-

If it meant I'd see you up ahead

Somebody talks to the wind
And chases it as if it will give in.
Somebody runs through the trees
As if somewhere along the lines
He could escape this life;
All hope to escape his lies.
Somebody keeps a secret and tucks it away,
Somebody puts it in a white box and covers it in clichés.
Somebody writes a letter and pens it with black ink
As if his markings start to sink
And hide his hidden mask he sees!
Oh what a temptation to take a peek;
To open the letter before it's time to read;
To run through the grass before the time of spring;
To drink all the wine and have nothing to eat;
To take the best times and leave none left for dreams;
To spend all the days wishing to have another;
To count down the time
Until
The
Very
Last
Number.

-In the end it wont matter whether we ever made it,
Whether the grass was greener or stayed forsaken.
In the end it wont matter what we stole and we got,
We will disappear into the earth, and we will be forgot.
The only thing that matters is when I go and transcend
That my love for you was constant; it was until the end,
For what a tragedy
For me to breathe
Without giving you my breath-

I remember the days when I knew
Or I thought I did everything I could do
To make this something that involved me and you
But my worst thoughts were the ones that got through
And broken glass has been all that lies in my center view.
I remember when
I was a kid and nobody ever questioned a single thing that I did
Now I'm the only kid
That stares hard at my hands and ***** the joy out of the life I live.
I was a care free heart devoted to the only Son
That shines bright, the only holy one,
But that was some time ago.
Nowadays I am captured by my fear, and driven by making time slow.
Oh God,
You can take the decisions I've made, all the days all the nights,
If it means that I have my heart back and can once more see the light,
Because I'm tired of being so lost in my own past
And all the things I wish I had.
I spend all my days just wishing
That I had a day where I'd stop giving away all I've given,
But I don't care if life is something that keeps me driven,
As long as I can remember that you're alive, you're risen.
Tell my friends I love them
And embrace them harder than I would've,
Keep my heart close to yours,
And help me find my way back to you
And to those sunsets I fell in love with in Africa,
Like the moon.
Like the dust blowing in the distant breeze.
Like the rain pattering down and flowing out in my streets.
Let me fall in love with you all over again,
Because those were my most joyful moments.

Your creation burst from my mango
And drips from my lips unto my shirt
As I indulge in your sweet tasting world.
You drip from the tree leaves after the storm
And glisten in the lake outside of my house
Reflecting the sun's might off the soft ripples.
I am captivated in this moment
Where creation stands still
And I find myself at the center of your world
Even when I do not have you at the center of mine
-Oh what a God to be a son to
And to be adored by,
One who never stops showing off his great love
Even when we stop showing off ours.
What a lucky moment
To be hit by the cool breeze in the summer sun
With juice dripping off your face
While you smile at the ripples that distort your reflection.

A little taste of heaven
Not to be wasted-

Here we go
Another testament of what we already know
Just for show
So that the unbelievers will be put back in the quiet zone.
That's what is right?
That's what's in his write?
And to put people in their place is something that is his right?
And here he is pointing his little fingers at the other man,
The same fingers that pick his boogers on the same pointers on the other hand.
And he wants all those around him to understand?
When he cant stand
While his temper rises and nostrils flare as his eyes expand.
Tell me this, tell me this,
When did the solution to the polluted arguments turn to breaking wrists
Over the back and forth action of battling opposites
Who wait for their friends to chime in and throw them some compliments.
"It's only common sense."
"It's only civil defense."
"I'm trying to prove that everyone's wrong and I'm the one in perfect tense."
Sadly
We all gladly
Trade our thoughts for emotion and want to get rid of truth so badly.
We turn to insanity and sadly we're in love so madly.
I don't throw shade but I stay under my shady tree.
Pass me the plate of fries but don't you dare give salt to me.
You see I'm free,
I don't need some validation from my anger to give me Identity.
So finish up your childish games,
It's time for dessert, but your still stuck on your tiny screen.