I find myself angry with life.
A low, simmering rage
only too close to a boil.
Once, my mind was
the sharpest of blades,
nothing could stand before me.
Now, it is but a vestigial sort of thing,
a relic of times better remembered.
I am rusted by the monotone
my life has become.
The repetition of every day
comes on as a flood;
I will succumb.

I know a few things
no one cares to see.
It's a terrible realization
that they're not so far from me.

The sun never shines
equally in all places;
some of us live outside
glad for the moonlight on our faces.

I know a few things
for which no one has a care
it is my toil in the shadow
that gives sunlight to your hair.

The fire inside of you
will you let it burn?
I sharpen the knife in my gut
You bring the rain.

The words of my mind
bleed forth, on and on
through the mire of self-reproach
I am here as a flash of lighting
the worry of thunder

The end is nigh
and we change naught.
It is as it always was
the moral of the story
was a dream

There is a vanity in me
not to think well of myself,
for I have yet to achieve such
but to please others,
to like myself more
through their good opinion.

There is a fear in me
in my mind, every night
the love others feel for me
is erased, set back like a clock.
Every day I must work,
earn their love all over again.
In the trappings of my own mind,
love is so easily lost.

There is a doubt in me
with my friends and loved ones.
I trust no one, not even myself.
It is as unfair to them as it is to me.
I decided young, perhaps wrongly,
That those who claim to love you,
even those who truly do love you,
can and will leave you behind.

There is a desire in me
to liberate myself, to love myself
as I have never truly done.
I fear that in loving myself,
I will become something foolish.
Even still, despite my intent,
with a complete lack of trust
I am still that arrogant fool.

I know, that night, lying on our magic carpet
in the quarter-light, floating in our little dorm,
we cared not about those details
that bother when in broad daylight,
we didn’t mind the improprieties
that pinch when in public spaces.

We were sailing close to the wind,
communicating through fingertips,
unknowing the memories that pricked…
We veered through a common dreamspace,
nestled into each others’ chests
and memorized the sounds they made…
Yes, that night I cried, like that bizarre fish
that refills its own pond of water,
copious tears that went over both our heads
and the carpet sank so deep
that all its magic went down with it.

Never fear losing a friendship due to the ******* that is known as truth.
I have been alone I have been with many and I have been with you.

We can dance in avoidance of pain masking are emotions only for so long.

I see it in your eyes and if you were a book my dear I would linger upon every page .

I could tell you its simply a friendship but I never ******* anyone let alone myself .

I know what it is and sweetheart so do you we didn't seek it cause the best kind of poison is made of the sweetest desire .

There's not a night the thought I do not entertain .
As we know separately the direction is best shared together as one .

I have no words besides what your reading now .
And these will be the blood of my soul I cast of dark magic in efforts of reaching out to you .

The key is yours and we know our truths so believe what you must to get you through another empty night .

We know what this is and I simply wait to know what's under the cover so stop the game and simply allow me to read every line that lay between .

My life is changing
the past is gaining speed away
the girl I once was
is becoming something more.

I miss my family
yet if I do not cast out on my own
I'll never know what my life is for.

My yearns for my mother,
to be that girl again, head on her chest.
Yet that girl is long vanished,
and I remind myself it's for the be