I hate that you hate me.
I hate that I cant be what you want.
I hate that you don't realize the pain you cause me.
I hate that you pretend that we are a perfect family.
I hate that you laugh everything off and never listen to me.
I hate the way you make me feel.

Why is it we cant choose our family?
Why do we have to learn to love them?
Why cant we choose them like we do our friends?

I cant love someone who doesn't love me.

I ****. You said it yourself.

I hate that you pretend that you didn't say it.
I hate that you dont feel guilty for being a bad parent.

What about me?
What about my happiness?
What about my life?

I hate that you don't listen to me, or accept who I am.
Because it makes it even harder for me to do that when my own mother cant.

So stop thinking about yourself.
And realize that your daughter needs help.

Im suicidal and you cant even tell.
What does that say about how much you care?
Or how much you even love me?


**Do you even love me?

I feel so empty baby

please help me

why do you turn your back on me?

i've tried so hard
to deny what i feel,
to be selfless
so i can save myself from misery;
but
there are only so much emotions
that i can take

im clenching the edge of the skyscraper called life.
you are the only thing keeping me from death.
I hear the angels call my name
and I hear the shadows whisper
I just beg you.....please dont let me go

I cannot be sure the day I died,
I'm pretty sure it rained.
Not only water from tears I cried,
Was darkened sidewalk stained.

I ran alone through midnight static,
In puddles my steps fell.
Hating to be melodramatic,
But it was ******* hell.

Running in fear of being too weak,
To stay away from knife.
For her not I my promise keep,
Because she saved my life.