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vern Sep 2019
the first flash of lightning blinded my eyes
just a slight flicker of what was yet to come
the crackle of the thunder shook my world
the smallest shock that was ready to ripple out
a storm of torment and chaos was brewing
I felt to overwhelming waves of despair flow over me
drowning me in it's tight waters and strong hold
I knew what was coming
it was a scene I was all too familiar with
the storm was coming again
the rising of the waters and the cracks of the sky
were coming to ******* over
I wasn't ready the first time
however, this time I will remain strong
I will no topple over, nor drown from this storm tonight
I've been feeling super overwhelmed with life again.
vern Jul 2019
how could I be so blind
to the stolen glances you gave me
was there always such a loving intent
within your gaze
how was I so oblivious
to miss your eyes on me
writer's block has been so rough
here's something until my writer's block goes away
vern Jun 2019
I've grown to be wearier every day
I’m tired of caring whether everyone likes me or not.
Whether the way people perceive me is bearable or not.
I’m tired of feeling that the world
and everyone around me would be better off if I just died or disappeared,
selfish I know.
I’m tired of the lack of motivation
I have because my brain thinks
I should stare at a wall
instead of doing something productive.
I’m tired of always comparing myself and
always thinking I’m not good enough.
I’m tired of overthinking every tiny
thing the people I care about do around me.
I’m tired of wondering whether or not I give more or whether I don’t give enough.
I’m tired of lying
about the headaches I get in the morning
because I cried myself to sleep,
I’m tired of lying to my friends
and saying I don’t feel well
instead of meeting them
because something else is worrying me.
I’m just tired.
And I'm done being tired.
So tomorrow I hope to get a goodnight's rest
and triumph through the day
without even the slightest unrest
no notes today
vern Jun 2019
when I woke up this morning
I had the strangest feeling
the remnants of last nights dream
lingered on my lips and cheek
it was a dream filled with chocolate
it was sweet, but also bitter
it was an enchanting dream
but it left me with an empty stomach
it was not one of lust but one of love
when I woke up this morning
I never felt more alone
I am a liar, I didn't have a dream like this last night, it was actually about treasure planet, but do you ever have a dream where you're just in love and happy or just a good dream and when you wake up you're happy it's over, that's just the mood rn.
vern Jun 2019
discord and strife stood before me
with hollow cheeks, ivory skin, and luminous hair
a knife in her hand
a pen in the other
pick your poison she told me; stir some trouble
from her piercing gaze and wicked smirk I knew
she offered me, a pawn for her games, a decision
however, I had no power to chose at all
so I reached my hand, feeling the weight of my choice
the chaos
and the destruction I would cause.
What would you chose?
The pen refers to emotions, and the knife refers to actions.
Part two will come someday.
vern Jun 2019
there is so much I want to see
wonders I've never glanced at
art I've never seen
skies I've never gazed at
seas I've never looked at
homes I've never peered at
there is so much I want to see
and yet I still haven't opened my eyes yet
that is the question
vern Jun 2019
I have a fear of being left
that one day someone
family, friend, or lover
will disappear from my life
as if they were never there
and I would never know why
this irrational fear haunts me
but there is another fear that hurts me even more
if I left my someone
would they feel the same as I would
when I disappear, would no one even blink
would anyone wonder where I went
how everything went wrong
I am terrified that it wouldn't bother them at all
it is not the fear of being left
it is the fear of never being missed
that is so irrational yet so burdensome
I wish I could get over this irrational fear, but unfortunately, I can't. Also two poems today!
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