She just wanted to get away, she just wanted to be whole. She just wanted to find home. A place she could rest,  finally find a nest.  She just wanted a life with more peace and less strife.  Banging her head on the bathroom door,  screaming, crying,  and yelling "no more".  She could be anything she wants and more but instead she lays there...weeping...on the cold bathroom floor.

I found myself and lost you.
I let go of your hurt,  found my strength anew. Picking my pieces up off the floor,  realizing you mean nothing anymore.  You were an addiction,  a haunting,  an affliction.  A monster terrorizing me,  and my pride that had given up helping me, depriving me and calling it love. And there are sometimes I'm completely ashamed, my strength in vain.  Because I'll look for you...the monster under my bed that hasn't yet truly left my head.

She was so lost and unsure, so broken, unpure.

Homeless bones in her body, a starving and aching soul

Her eyes so hollow from so much pride and pain forced to swallow

And a smile that just never fit, like an unhappy church wife quietly sitting at the dinner table, regretting everything

Her soul constantly searching through oceans, woods, and mountains

Looking for something, anything to find herself within. A butterfly caught in a jar, a wolf stuck in a cage. So utterly broken in so many ways.

Her spirit crushed but never truly destroyed, her crown bent but never broken. As she continued her search for her home, she knew she'd fine some way. Some peace, some of herself.

All alone.

As she dusted off her weakened knees, ripping shards of ****** glass from her feet. Scraping and ripping off the lies and deceit. Never cowering or giving into defeat. Treated as a peasant, but born to be seen. A weak person's worst nightmare, but a destined strong person's dream. She was full of strength, but pulled and hidden from her light. But the darkness couldn't shake away where she was most bright. She roared like a lioness, breaking out of her cage, using her pain and using her rage. Using her power that fit like a glove. But soft and so graceful, as sweet as a dove. She ran from the violence and skipped through the mud. No longer swallowing the hand fed fake love. She ripped off the chains and the tape from her mouth. She broke all the shackles, and she busted out. She healed all her wounds, and broken bones on her own, she built her own castle, she crafted her throne. She rose from the ashes, a crown upon her head. Saving her soul from its pre made death bed. She took back her freedom and fought for her life. She gave her heart rest and in turn a new sight. She'd chose herself, and she chose what was right. She protected her soul and she saved her own life. She had no idea but to the world they see... a leader, a survivor, a warrior, a queen.

This goes to all of the women who stay up late thinking about someone who hasn't treated them right. Thinking about how much hurt someone has put them through, not being able to eat, not sleeping. Not wanting to go outside or get dresssed, not feeling or trying to look pretty. Who barely have strength to dance, paint, write, compose.  Randomly crying through crooked smiles trying to hold it together. To those girls who lay in bed asking God why weren't they enough, to the girls who are begging God for the strength to deal with the mess they've been surrounded in To the women dying to feel alive again. Dying to get their soul back, dying to heal. Dying to feel like a human again.
YOU HAVE NOT BEEN TREATED THE WAY YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN TREATED, AND IT'S TIME TO TAKE YOUR POWER BACK. Your soul isn't gone, sweetheart. It is only in repair.

Upon a small rock I saw a girl crying on her knees, a hair bow crumbled in her hand. Staring off into the deep blue abyss.  My heart knew the words she wouldn't speak to me. I turned to her and said "Fall in love with the ocean, not boys". Reluctantly wiping tears from her face she stared at me. "Excuse me?" She said, bewildered for many reasons. I repeated "Fall in love with the ocean, not boys. We sit around waiting for them to come back, but don't the waves always come back to lap at our toes? We die for mystery, doesn't the sea give us that? Thousands of territory undiscovered. Under that water is a paradise. A melody we always know, a freedom we may jump into, a secret we may be in on. Something so beautiful that will never hurt us, never ask us for anything in return. Something that never makes us doubt ourselves, never judges us. Waves that never ignore us but speak to us in a language only our soul knows. Something so beautiful, so vast, so....forever yet we focus on boys and the pain they give us. Wasting so much time on temporary things when we have natural beautiful things that heal us in our face. Dear, jump into the sea and be one with something that you never have to worry will leave you alone." She dropped the bow, smiled at me, reached her hand out, and we ran and jumped into the vast sea of healing.

She wanted to go home, back to stars. No more lonely boulevards and loud cars. No more expectations and broken promises. Just back to the place where her heart wasn't heavy and her soul full of darkness. Where the wonder and magic still tingled on the tips of her fingers, and no gravity pulled her down to the cold reality of the world. Just back home. To the stars, where the planets belonged to her and twirled around her, pulling her hair gently with care,  and her future yet untold was still promised  a galaxy of love, wonder, and no more pain.