she had always said
her favorite color was yellow
for the girl with buttery skin and crystal eyes
it seemed rather fitting
yellow was the color of sunshine
and the color of her hair
after it had been bleached by summer
it was the color of the bumblebees
that drank from her favorite flowers
flowers that now
line her grave

she told you
her favorite color was yellow
because she knew you needed someone
radiant with light
to ease the depth
of your own darkness
so she said
when autumn arrived
you could watch the ground
become littered with yellow leaves
together

when you asked what color
lie beneath her skin
she told you it was yellow
she made herself believe
her body was freckled from stardust
and not from the amber glow
of cigarette burns
she still said
her favorite color was yellow
so she could continue being the light
in your colorless world

soon enough
your favorite color was yellow too
but not for the same reasons
she fell in love with it
you only saw yellow vaguely
in the form of teeth
stained from tobacco and too much coffee
smiling grimly through cracked lips
dripping poisoned honey
you guilded the word ¨love¨
with muted ochre lies

and now
she no longer feels the warmth
that once emanated
from her favorite color
she no longer tastes
the sweetness of butterscotch
and papaya on your lips
for you left her with nothing but
the sour residue of lemons and bile
as your gentle breath
extinguished her golden flames
and reduced her heart to ash

and now
she realizes that bumblebees
can also administer a piercing sting
and as she watches the sunset
with its amber hues
she no longer sees
the color yellow


x.

We attach ourselves to oblivious ones
Their carefree, we’re careful of acting dumb
They drum up excitement, we listen to their fun
And slowly or quickly we attach to their beings
Refine our perception to make them our dreams
Then reality hits and we never duck
Ruthlessly rattled we’re forced to wake up
Shredding our attachment, our well-being in flux
Then our ears disintegrate making deafness abrupt
Now careening and careless, our feelings corrupt
Learning a lesson that's too hard to instruct
The oblivious ones were us
For we attached to delusions that were destined to erupt

Churning with the shells of critters
Foam infused with flour hues
Reaching and receding
Timeless yet awash in currents
It learns in waves
The perfect pupil
Relying on all it can see

Light lengthens as you spin upon my thoughts
Blinding my darkness as you whirl like a top
As if the sun had settled on you
Scandalously running from the sky
“Doom” The phrase, raving men of the world scream in rants
The same phrase oozed from the sap of plants
And echoed as well from all animal's pitiful pants
For not a single ray stayed to shimmer

She held my heart
In her hands
I did not feel well
She squeezes my heart
Blood flows out
Pain becomes stronger
Throw me in the air
I want to be free
From your litte games.

She gave me her heart
It was like a diamond
Big, shiny and Beautiful
I took her heart
Hide it from the light
Because by the light
The thieves will know
Where my diamond is.

you and me
paper dolls
hand in hand
cutout of two lovers
who solemnly swear to another
that our love will always run deep
you
a mirroring reflection of me
holding on to a dream
we are wild
reckless
young
and free
my love for you will forever be strong
you make me content
there's no place id rather be
but in your arms
caress me
kiss me
love me gently
and roughly
whisper little nothings in my ear
your smile sparks a flame in my heart
paper dolls
you and me
meant to be
I love you
no one else id rather be with
no one else id rather call mine

attention...
smear neon lipstick
all over my cushiony lips
I'll eat it like Crayola crayons
pose whorishly for the camera
be saccharinely
tell you I love you
when I know it's a lie
why?
for attention
always want to be the center of it
I'm a fiend
for
ATTENTION
give it to me I'll eat it up
and love every bite of it