My whole adolescence I had hope
But all my prayers went unanswered
All my dreams faded
Black and white
Forgotten
My childhood wasn’t an art piece
It was broken crayons on my school desk
It was fear
Hatred
Love
Tears
Blood
I had no idea what normal was
Chaotic coincidences made up my memories
Memories
They burn like having a cigarette put out on your tongue
Terrible brain connections
I hate my memories
I wish I could forget
Wake up from the nightmare of
Begging to be recognized
For forgiveness
I needed you
Needed somebody to see that I was hurting bad
But you were just like the rest
Blind of the truth
Believed the fabricated stories
Trust
It’s a word with a bitter taste
You have it, then lose it within a matter of seconds
1 second...trust is gained
2 seconds...it’s gone
Snap of a finger
Blink of an eye
My dear friend
I love you like there’s no tomorrow
I adore you
All your perfect imperfections
But love is never an easy emotion
Loving is really a bipolar feeling
Happy one second
Hateful the next
Crying one minute
Laughing the next  
But my friend let me tell you
One little secret
I’ve been thru hell and back
But that little thing called hope
It still keeps me going

First, you have get to an email address
and then fashion a sculpture
out of daisies and moonbeams
as a wedding present for your love;
practice your poetry because
it will come in handy when tongue tied;
pentameter is a pocket ace
and the game is cutthroat so you’re
gonna wanna have some ready;
calisthenics are required
as is having the right politics
but dissimilar guacamole preferences
are usually alright for awhile;
be sure to develop a tolerance
for sand between your toes;
learn to frolic, but never skip;
don’t buy a boat because nobody
has time for a sweater cape enthusiast
and drowning is very unromantic;
Grow roses and cook eggs every way
you can but ever respect the bacon;
Practice looking longingly;
Toss your hair and brush your teeth;
**** your socks but carefully
maintain just enough flaws
to seem endearing and then
forget all this because the only
time you chose to fall is suicide
and it’s kind of like a bridge jump,
so it’s time to just lie back and enjoy
the dopamine rush while it lasts;
you’ve roped a unicorn,
the fleeting chemistry of
your synapses will thank
or blame you later.

I am
Always there, but
Where were
You?

I used to write
My secrets in the sand,
Knowing they would never stay
Long enough to be told.

I used to just swim,
pulled my hair up and never
Really tasted the salt that foamed
After the crash.

I've ran in the sand,
Sure, but never have I
Ever let it smooth my
Skin into what it could be.

Before today, I've never
Let the current take me
Under and feel what it's like
To always come back to something.

I think about the first car I'll ever have,
The Mustang on the side of a highway I've traveled on thousands of times.
And the car I'll be leaving in, on a highway I've traveled on a few thousand times.

Who stole my thunder,
Who christened the ground with their footprints where mine should have been?

The holy heat of my words spreading up your spine, kissing your fingertips with friction...making the hair on your arms rise.
I could make you say amen but the sound of your rain is prayer enough.

Blessed is the air that graces your skin between touching and going...the light that you bring and leave with

You never stay but God the intensity is shocking

So tired of all the memories 
It brings me back to you
And I can't help but wonder
How I'll go on another year 
Fighting all these demons 
That remind me you're not here 

It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 
 
I go back to that day 
And picture the last time 
It breaks me down
And I fall to my knees
Asking why?
Why? 
 
It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 
 
One year passes, now almost two
And I'm scared to face it
But somehow you know 
And the day though dark 
Was suddenly turned brighter

A beautiful little face
Born on this day 
 
It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 

It's a bittersweet December 
And though it haunts me all the time
I can finally breath again
With the miracle you've blessed
 
In this bittersweet December