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Jul 2019 · 121
What if I was back in town?
emily Sarker Jul 2019
Back in the same state,
Same town,
Same roads,
Same memories.
Yet an emptiness lays on every busy corner without you there.
The coffee shop stands waiting for you,
For us,
And I sit there in the comfort of the shop, waiting for you.
And after all this time,
You finally come.
But only to runaway.
But tell me love,
If you met my eyes
Would you remember why you loved me once?
Would you then stand at the door like you once use to?
What if I was back in town love?
Jun 2019 · 238
Your eyes
emily Sarker Jun 2019
Your eyes.
The way they sparkled when they would lay on me....
That's all I have.
That's all I remember.
Cause if I think farther,
Remember more than that about you,
I'll break down and lose the girl I've been trying to make ever since you left.
So that's all I remember,
Your eyes.
Sorry I can't remember more of you love
May 2019 · 166
Bitter love
emily Sarker May 2019
By trying to force me to love you
You drove me away farther,
Now you hurt me
Trying to ease your own hurt.
But tell me,
If you love me,
Does hurting me really help you?
Or is it that I have it all wrong,
Is it that you just want to be loved by me,
But not love me in return?
You can never force someone to love you, it simply won't work, rather it will turn into a bitter ugly thing
emily Sarker May 2019
Sitting at the laundromat
watching the basins turn.
Just like the basins,
the earth continues on its own axis in a similar fashion.

Another day goes by,
again once more,
one without passion.

Just dull revolutions
seemingly the same
but wait,
The basin stopped..the basin stopped
A poem made by a dear friend of mine lol please comment and let me know how you guys like it so I can encourage him he should do poetry!!
May 2019 · 142
emily Sarker May 2019
He was not the city
Not the speeding cars
The mesmerizing lights
Or the late night parties
He was rather the village right next to it
A village I haven't heard of
He was the night Stars
The feeling of home
The late night convos  
And the long drives on empty roads
City girl falls for the country boy what a cliché
Apr 2019 · 216
One day we will meet again
emily Sarker Apr 2019
One day
We will meet again.
You will once again look at me with the sparkle in your eyes,
And I'll notice you starring.
I'll give back that smile you fell in love with.
One day we will cross paths again
And you will chase after me
To once again say
"Hello my name is....."
We will fall in love again like the first day we did, and this time it will be the right time
emily Sarker Apr 2019
The night hovered over us
as the Stars shined out bright
and the breeze danced around us.
The smell of cigarettes hung high.

You pulled me in close to you.
I wrapped my arms around you
As we danced along with the music.
the wind fell in sink with our steps dancing along with us.
I stole the cigarette from your lips into mine
Tasting both you and the nicotine.
Smiles and laughters escaped us.

We slowed down,
Still in each other's arms.
The wind slowed down and blew on us
pushing us into each other even more.
Our Hearts pounded on each other,
As if they were speaking to one another.
We looked up into the night.
Two stars hung right above us,
Shining the brightest,
Closer to one another then the rest.
You looked down at me and our eyes locked.
Heartbeats faster then ever.
We smiled
As we both realized then that our stars were getting aligned together.
We didn't see it coming,
But now there was no backing out.
We were each other's,
It became written in the stars.
- We never say it coming or thought we would fall in love, we tried to avoid it in fear of getting hurt, but the universe was in our favor and the stars were aligning us , there was no denying it, we still didn't say "i love you"s just yet but our hearts were beating it already
Apr 2019 · 191
Crying to the stars
emily Sarker Apr 2019
I neverrr cried to the night
But since the day you left
I cried to the stars every night
Cried to our stars
Cried to my star
To go chase yours down
And once again
Align us back together
Apr 2019 · 319
climax in a book
emily Sarker Apr 2019
Every book,
is filled with beautiful chapters.
filled with adventures, strength, and love.
but it also has bad ones
filled with hurt, uncertainty, and loss.
but the bad chapters doesn't mean an ending is coming.
it is purely just a ****** in the story,
and you must push through to reach the happy ending.
always remember most stories end with happy endings and in life, the book of life that we create we have more control over it, how the ending of your book will be is up to you:)
emily Sarker Apr 2019
I've accepted ill hurt for now,
to forget 2 years,
it will take time.
but I also know I will be okay one day.
so, for now, I let the memories hurt,
and let the dreams of better days give me strength and hope.
one foot in front of the other,
taking it day by day,
two hearts forgetting each other
I keep on going.
losing a lover who was also your best friend and only family is very hard, sets you out to walk the world alone, but sometimes you have no choice, sometimes you don't mean the world to someone that means the world to you and they wake up one day and leave you behind.
emily Sarker Apr 2019
you held me tight before i boarded the plane.
we stayed in each others arms till the very last minute.
not a single word escaped our lips,
but your eyes told me you didn't love me the same anymore.
my eyes pleaded you to not give up on us,
not to let it all go,
but your eyes didn't change.
and i knew this goodbye,
was our final goodbye.
and as i boarded the plane,
it marked the beginning of us becoming strangers,
as we went our separate ways
recently I moved states, and I knew right then as I was moving I would lose the guy that I have loved for the past 2 years. even if he told me he would stay, after I moved he blocked me out, didn't even say goodbye rather left me in the middle.
Jan 2019 · 310
Love at first sight
emily Sarker Jan 2019
All my life I've been waiting for love to walk into my little world of tragedy.
When you walked in
I felt the presence of love.
You shined so bright with it inside of you.
Your love was such a sight to see
I couldn't look away.
you looked at me
And as you did,
The love in you shined even brighter.
And within me a little light began to brew.
The light I had hidden deep in me,
Deep under the darkness where hurt was present.
love brings out love. never give up on love just because your heart aches a lot and you can't ever imagine it not aching.cause when love walks in, it will take the hurt away.
Nov 2018 · 695
thank you
emily Sarker Nov 2018
To the girl that let him go,
I thank you the most.
Nov 2018 · 180
screw perfection
emily Sarker Nov 2018
***** perfect.
I'm sick of perfection.
being the perfect girl,
the perfect lover,
hiding my flaws,
competing to be the best to get accepted.

***** perfect,
***** a perfect future.

cause an imperfect future with you,
is what fuels my heart and fills me with life.
all the silliness and love that will be present,
in our not so perfect apartment,
where we sometimes have not so perfect moments,
where my imperfections you don't judge rather you admire them.

cause in this not so perfect love story,
all the imperfections with you
is my version of perfect.
there is more to life than a perfect life. your soul and heart will never happy until you find the right person to spend your life with, where an imperfect life becomes a perfect life to you where hiding is another day you're excited about.
Nov 2018 · 345
still chasing you
emily Sarker Nov 2018
My goal was never to be your first love.
My goal is to be your last love.
That's why even after you told me you loved me,
I still go about us as if I'm chasing you.
never stop trying to win the heart of the one you truly love.
emily Sarker Nov 2018
I have many flaws,
Flaws that made me scared to get close to people.
You saw them all,
and turned them into nothing short of perfections.
with you, I am finally me and proud to be me, for you love me, my imperfections and all
emily Sarker Nov 2018
How can someone just disappear,
Cease to exist?
What happens after death?
Do they really appear in our dreams? Arent dreams nothing but our desires?
What does it mean for a heart to stop?
If your heart stops beating then how can you be there for me?
How are u next to me when I don’t feel you?
Is this why I feel empty and unloved?
Because you're not there.
After death,
You cease to exist.

I'm chasing death
To find you.
To find your love again.
In this world, you left me alone.
I need your love back.
Please wait for me.
I need to know your their,
Don't let death take you.
Don't let death make it seem like you don’t exist,
You live within me,
Use my strength and come back.
Come be next to me again.
I'm lonely in this cold world
with a heavy broken heart that goes unloved.
please come back.
Or at least wait for me,
For I believe death will be upon me soon too.
death took you and now I'm chasing death, RIP Syeda Banu (beloved grandmother, friend, sister, and mother)
Aug 2018 · 293
Lost girl ready to be found
emily Sarker Aug 2018
I'm just a lost girl.
But when I look into your eyes,
Somewhere between the twinkle,
Somewhere between how they light up,
I become a lost girl who's ready to be found.
I had lost myself till he found me❤️
emily Sarker Aug 2018
My mind wants one thing
My heart wants another
And for my eyes, well they lay in the middle seeking to please them both
My mind orders my eyes to close and stay closed
But my heart orders for them to open to see you
When my heart takes over my mind gives in
When my mind takes over my heart gives in
For my heart sees nothing but unconditional love for you
But my mind sees the reality of the fact I cannot take a chance with hurt for now.
My mind will not risk letting you into my life in the fear you will hurt me
And my heart will not stop beating to be closer to you and loving you
As for my eyes, it sits, and watches this race
Heart vs mind who will win…….
i fell for him when my mind wasn't ready to love in fear of having my heart broken but i simply couldn't shake the feeling he gave my heart won<3
Jul 2018 · 621
Victory of an anxious mind
emily Sarker Jul 2018
Leaning against the wall,
I slid down and sat there on the cold ground.
Quiet on the outside,
but in the inside
I was screaming.
With my Head on the cold dead ground
I pulled my legs in close to my body arms over my head.
I Curled up into a position that a human body merely wasn't made to find comfortable.
I lay still
So many emotions ran through my head.  
To handle these emotions seemed foreign to me,
For I did not know what emotions I was feeling.
Tears streamed down my face while I lay quiet and still.
Frustration of not knowing why I was crying or if this was what it felt like when sadness took over me was driving me insane.
Yet I lay still.
Not one scream
not one change in my face
not one limb flinched.
Weak and tired I cried the tears that my body could still produce.
Until I began to fall asleep
As tiredness and failure took over me
I gave into my mind and laid still as my mind cooled down and celebrated victory with a dream
I have never been able to understand or grasp what fully happens in an anxiety attack but this poem describes the last stages of  one where you give into your mind as everything gets slow and you eventually knock out from the inner war you fought against your mind. Anxiety attack are unknown  to the human mind
Jul 2018 · 241
The forest of darkness
emily Sarker Jul 2018
I looked into the forest
An urge of wanting to run through the trees sparked through my mind.
Run without ever stopping
till it becomes the very last memory of my disappearance.
I'll go into the places men have never been
The dark places men fear
For darkness is where depression hides
I'll Watch from a distance how the absence of my existence affects the ones I love.
Life will move on.
The absence of one person doesn't make the world wait.
While I await life to move on,
I turn green with the sickening surrounding of nature,
Depression keeps me company and away from the fruits of survival(food).
The ground beneath me becomes colder by the day.
And as time comes were I am forgotten enough from the hearts of the ones I care about,
my heart becomes empty from the absence of their love.
my only friend
takes pity on me.
fills the emptiness in my heart with darkness and lead my heart to a state of tranquility
As my heart goes
Beat-beat, beat-beat
And then
in isolation you really get to see the truth of who truly cares for you.....but sometimes the truth brings on so much heartache you become deathly weak and depression sees it's time to make a move on you.
Jul 2018 · 164
Tale of the broken girls
emily Sarker Jul 2018
In moments
I get scared to love u.
For I am a broken girl my love.
Have you not heard the tales about us?
We are the weakened and wounded souls that lash out in order to save ourselves.
We are the bleeding beauties that bleed when hurt.
We are the mentally ill that will not stop till you  yourself go insane.
We open out gates only to descend back behind our walls after we give u a taste of our love.
We offer love only to close up in fear of a broken heart.
We constantly feel hurt over the most minuscule things.
Love is something we want
but love is something we cannot accept.
My love,
We are like a ticking bomb
And love is the match that will set us off.
Run away from me my dear.
For I am a broken girl,
And we broken girls are dangerous.
falling in love too fast after years of being broken over and over I noticed I couldn't accept love because my past of heart breaks kept me too cautious of hurt to the point I became a toxic lover
Jul 2018 · 218
Acceptance of broken
emily Sarker Jul 2018
Maybe you fear to be whole again,
to feel complete.
You've  felt broken for so long,
that you found comfort in it.
Your scared to take the chance of feeling complete in fear it will fall apart.
So you accept being broken
and smile on.
Jul 2018 · 263
Back from giving up
emily Sarker Jul 2018
Coming out of giving up is hard.
When you are give up,
The moments leading up to it are moments you slowly lose your true self .
And at the moment you give up,
Even the little parts of yourself, that was still suriving in you,
You let every part of you go in order to give up.
But in some rare cases when something saves you,
And you condsider to give life another try,
The biggest struggle becomes figuring out who you are.
Because no matter how good your situation may be now,
No matter how much you have to be thankful for,  
every part of who you were,
was forgotten.
Its not that your not happy,
Its just you don’t know how to act.
How to be normal,
And how to be you again.
Came back from giving up to find I knew nothing about who I was. The struggle to build myself up again was hard,trying to grasp every memory to figure out who I am. And through these struggles I began to write and poetry was one thing that I found was able to define who I am ❤️

— The End —