What do you do,
when your entire life
has been an act?

A terrible mask,
glued to my face,
suffocating me

The mask shows a smile,
while underneath,
I crumble

But that’s okay,
I guess,
as long as you’re happy,
everything is fine, right?

Years fly by without a moment too soon
Our childhood is gone, Like a hazy sunday afternoon
We are no longer the same, children no more
We've grown up now, We aren't as close as before

I wanted to protect you from the world
I wanted to make things right
But It seems no matter how hard I try
You always look at me with spite

I wanted you to look up to me
I wanted to seem so cool
But every time I open my mouth
You treat me as if I am a fool

I wanted to help you
I wanted to treat you the best I can
But when I offer you help
You act as if you are a man

I wanted to change the past
I wanted to show you I can be kind
But whenever I show you love
Your response is always unkind

I know its time to stop pretending
To stop treating you as a kid
I know that you've grown up too
That nothing now can erase what I did

After everything we've been through
After all the damage we've done
Don't let growing up
Become the thing that makes us undone

So to my dearest little brothers
Even though you've grown so tall
Please don't forget me
I am your big sister after all

Like fragments of a shattered broken heart
I've lost my way, and I am falling apart
Yet somehow in this strange unerving mystery
I've found myself at the shores of an endless sea

Running through my dreams afraid of turning
Unwilling to let go of my fragile past
I push myself to the point of breaking
It seems that I not nearly way to fast

I hold myself at night with these tears streaming
I struggle to get past as the dark nights fly by
Unable to face this cruel trick called reality
But i'll keep trying till I reach the clear blue sky

I wish to be held like any other
I wish to be freed from this chained down cage inside
I wish to escape from this never ending scene
But the fates keep telling me I'm far to naive

Standing on the dreaded battlefields
Bullets littering without a moment to lose
Wounded but alive, unlike the rest who died
Though I'll always be haunted by their memory

Crimson red dripping down gently
dying the petals that are scattered down
I'll raise my gun, I'll fire another round
Until the blood in my veins finally run dry

I claim I'm doing it for my friends
To protect the life I live
Are they standing by my side
With all their heads held high

They are hidden down below
As soon as the whistle blows
And I'm forced to march on
To continue this fight

You can't trust anybody but yourself
Thats the way I've been born and raised
At times I forget, get swayed and carried away
But it won't be long before I snap out of that haze

So to the dear world please forgive me
To the people I call my friends too
I cant trust a single soul in this hell
From the beginning I always knew.

Homework piling up
Deadlines all right ahead
Overdue assignments needed
All I can feel is absolute dread

I have so much to do
Yet so little time
But you know what I'll do
I'll simply wait to the deadline

Let's write some poetry
Scroll through Facebook
Watch a movie
Maybe read a book?

Let's talk to friends
Play some games
Finally clean my room
Leaving my future in flames

I should get around to that
I should probably start
Oh hey look!
Here's my old works of art

Let's look through a photo album
Do some online shopping
Maybe I'll even bake some sweets
I'm showing no signs of stopping

I've got a SAC tomorrow
Exams are around the corner
How is it 3am already!?
I'm surely a goner

I'm so lost
What are we studying?
We had homework?
What does it all mean!!!

But after all these years
Countless days of procrastination
I still haven't learnt my lesson
Spending each day in complete frustration

I'll leave it all to the night before
Ah, I love throwing myself into a panic
Freak out, Cry and repeat
My mindset is satanic

Even right now
As I write this poem
Avoiding my priorities
My stress is forever ongoing

I should probably get onto that