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Mar 25 · 696
ENERGY DRINK BLUES
Matt Walls Mar 25
Here is something I learnt today
Be careful on what you spend your pay
After a day of fun, I did not think
And downed a pitcher of energy drink!

Got to the pub at half past seven
Drank Monster and Redbull until eleven
Finally home and sleep I think
But sadly not, bloomin energy drink!

What is this madness, I wiggle my toes
Why can’t I sleep , my eyes are closed
I peek and see all my clothes are pink
But still no sleep, bloomin energy drink!

Some fine ideas come flooding to me
Animation too seems just too easy
I wonder if this is the missing link
Nah, it’s the bloomin energy drink!

So check the web, will I be alright?
Paranoia seems so much worse at night
Dad is up, my eyes don’t blink
I’ll be fine he says, bloomin energy drink!

So never again, I’ll be a good Daughter
I’ll probably now just stick to water,
You can drink so much just from the sink
And no more bloomin energy drink!!
Mar 17 · 104
Covid as it happened
Matt Walls Mar 17
Covid here, covid there
Wear your mask, I just don't care
Keep your distance, it's on the rise
Wash your hands and sanitise!

Stay at home, don't go to work
It's harder there, it's not a perk
Learn 'Teams' and work from just one room
All meetings now done are done on 'Zoom'!

Rule of six outside is costly
Not so nice when it is frosty
Shopping now can be a bind
For things you cannot seem to find

At first a lull and then the panic
The crowds, the queues it all went manic
We're just like sheep and the other souls
We all stocked up on toilet rolls

Stocks of pasta and flour soon fell
Then a rush on sanitizing gel
'R' number rose, we had a part to play
So cleared the shelves of cleaning spray

Months soon past with rules for the nation
We were told to stay in isolation
Car won't start but must get wages
Battery gone flat not moved for ages

Almost a year and it's been a while
There's hope ahead with a vaccine trial
We yearn for Christmas, restriction free
Oh hang on no, we're in tier three!

With restrictions lifted for a three day slot
Three families can meet or maybe not?
So meet your family, it will be so good
But only you know if you should

Covid confusion for a whole year
Not sure if it will bring much cheer
We must stay strong and do our bit
You'll find life's just what you make it

Christmas cancelled, they've made the call
You cannot meet anyone at all!
In tier four but still alive
No hold on now, you are in tier 5

So stay at home for the second time
The walls are closing you might have climbed
But hope is coming from multiple labs
And millions of vaccination jabs

It's all we've got from the medical pages
We pray it works as the virus rages
We've got it good, food heat and health
That's all for now, take care of yourself

The 'R' rate now is up to nine
They said past one was the end of the line
But we're still trucking, I do my best
To keep on smiling like all the rest

When back at work, things started slow
When will it stop, I do  not know
We all wear masks to build resistance
And two meters apart to keep our distance

Compulsory masks have stopped at last
Many still wear them like in the past
We hope we can live with it in our community
And rely on people's herd immunity.

I've heard that there is good news at play
All restrictions have been lifted today
It's great that now we can lift the curse
And I can write the last and final verse !
May 2018 · 140
Butterfly
Matt Walls May 2018
I live not long the butterfly
I love the trees, the flowers, the sky
I flit, I flutter, I try, I try
I love to live, I live to die.

I live for life, one full of zest
Each day of which I make the best
The flowers I love, the colours, the scent
I fly to each, till I am spent

A lesson to all from me so small
Take time to notice the leaves that fall
The sun, the flowers from nature's play
Make sure you see it every day.
Jan 2018 · 478
New Year Rap
Matt Walls Jan 2018
2nd of Jan all revved up
Another cup of tea in another tea cup
Back to work sharp and raring to go
Cup of tea gone, the start is slow

Happy New Year you say with glee
The guy over there is staring at me
I pick up the pace and give it some wellie
Oh crap I think he's staring at my bellie

Peanuts, crisp, Toblerone and cake
Turkey trifle all on your plate
Just eat and sit until you're ill
As you tell yourself just sit and chill

Must get fit and lose some weight
Tuesday arrives you come home late
Chicken Pie, peas and a pint of beer
Same old same old Happy New Year!
Jan 2018 · 451
What drives you nuts
Matt Walls Jan 2018
Trolley lost with abandoned rage
Car park full an inverted cage
Wind and rain oh what a bore
Loose trolley smashed into your door

Ketchup bottle top, tons of crud
Sink full up from your best bud
Jobs not finished or badly rushed
And toilets stinky left unflushed.

Don't get me started on internet bloggers
Or motorway madness middle lane hoggers
At roundabouts waiting, sitting keen
Folks turn off no indicator seen

Another thing that gets my gaul
Are those that drive with no lights at all
And later patience is almost gone
Come home to find all lights left on

Don't get me wrong I do complain
When the tv's drowned out with a plane
So tonight I'll sit down with a beer
And wish you all, Happy New year.
Dec 2017 · 361
Caveat Emptor
Matt Walls Dec 2017
I once bought a box sight unseen
Off a user by a the name of 'The Queen'
I received the next day
For a pittance of pay
An item from someone quite mean

The box I opened up with delight
Inside it sure gave me a fright
It popped out straight away
I then cursed all of E bay
As I searched in the hay that was light

I found a small box of a phone
Excited, I ran off alone
Inspections were fast
But the fun did not last
For inside all I got was a stone
Dec 2017 · 573
Potholes
Matt Walls Dec 2017
It's amazing don't you think
That you don't have to drive or drink
To test your mettle skill and soul
You just need one big round pothole
Dec 2017 · 224
Assume
Matt Walls Dec 2017
You think and design
You create and define
Material selecton and cost
Practical skills, tools and eqiupment
Assume and you'll find  it all lost.
Dec 2017 · 589
Christmas Cheer
Matt Walls Dec 2017
Oh Christmas comes but once a year
Waistlines swell with good food and beer
Mince pies, chocolates, nibbles and nuts
Watch vintage TV, with no 'ifs' and no 'buts'

Wrapping paper deal, 2  rolls for a pound
Sneaky wrapping later, shhh, don't make a sound
Christmas tree needed you know what to do
Get a last minute deal down at Rhyl B & Q

Got the presents sorted, a job that so hard
That sinking feeling from a last minute card
A phone call and text is never too much
A welcome long chat just to keep in touch

Christmas day approaching are all the jobs done?
Eat drink and be merry is the way it should run
But often a snooze can be the best part
That can end with a grunt, a snore or a ****.

Turkey all gone but there are sandwiches still
Three helpings of trifle can make you quite ill
Then cheese and fine biscuits with coffee and cake
Might slow you right down on the After Eights

So off to the sofa  where you sit if you dare
Waistbands all loosened on the reclining chair
A tea or a beer shows who's still in the race
While a quick 40 winks puts a smile on your face

Well there it was done and soon off to bed
You sleep like a log having been so well fed
In the night you are gasping you must have a drink
You make it to the bathroom and drink from the sink

The next day is hellish, there are wrappers gallore
With crisps, cheese and crackers ground into the floor
Red wine in glasses fermenting and mulled
You turn and retreat with your senses quite dulled

So no breakfast needed just a whole lot of quiet
After indulging on what was a plain liquid diet
A quick clean around is a job for us males
As your partner heads out for the Boxing day sales!
Dec 2017 · 1.1k
Porridge Oats
Matt Walls Dec 2017
Porridge Oats

Porridge porridge porridge oats,
It’s like a giant big over-coat
You can’t beat porridge for a real cold start
It has been said, it’s good for your heart!

The guy in the kilt eats porridge I see
I don’t have a kilt but it’s good enough for me
It can’t be lumpy, must be smooth as silk
You can’t use water, you must use milk

The Scottish put salt on top of theirs
I use sugar like ‘The Three Bears’!
Eat porridge, it’s good, I have no fears
Keeps prisoners alive for twenty years!!!
#food #breakfast #porridge #hungry #warm #fulfilled #cosy #funny #humour #yummy

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