Staring at white cockroaches
Crawling on blue walls
Paint peeling
Pain fleeting
Pandemonium occurs
The giggling from the corners
The sirens from the street
Upstairs chained to the bed
In the attic
So to speak
Downstairs stuck in the basement
In the dungeon under the leak
The white cockroaches never stop coming
From the cracks in the walls
Albino brethren
Wail of noise

All I see is him.
Every face.
Every look.
Every tear.
Every cut.
Every clench.
Every smile.
Every laugh.
Every goof.
Every time.
All I see is him.
When I dream, I dream I see him in the sun.
When I dream darkly, I wake up and I see him on the floor dead.
When I dream, he's on the bed next to me.
When I dream, he's there and not gone.
All I know is him.
It's the silence.
It's the pain.
It's the ounce of virtue against the blackest year.
It's the body.
It's the beauty.
It's that one time he took his shirt off and looked at me.
It's the hallucinations.
It's the rocking.
It's that time I took his sadness and choked on it halfway.
All I know is him.
Say it to the baying trees.
Say it to the wind.
Say it to the open window.
Scream it into the shower.
Say it on the phone.
Say it on the documentary screen.
Scream it into the dark.
All I feel is him.
Say it to the friends.
Say it to the counsellor.
Say it to the stranger.
Screamed it at myself.
Said it to the memories.
Said it in my calling.
Say it to myself when I fall in disgrace.
All I need is him.
Looking under green lights.
Look towards hollow hills.
Looking for a reason
Just to hold back and say nothing
All I need is him.
Looking over pages.
Look to the new lover.
Looking for a cure.
Just to stop the bleeding.
All I eat is him.
I eat his sorrow.
I eat his history.
I eat his remembrance.
And devour his black blood.
All I eat is him.
I eat his confessions.
I eat his luck.
I eat his nemesis.
And devour his absent affection.
All I want is him.
All I care about is him.
All I should have is him.
All I worry about is him.
All I can't remember about is him.
All I tear myself over about is him.
All I **** is for him.
All I call is for him.
All I own is for him.
All I do is wait.
For him.

I did not see your swarm
O Holy crocodile
A sweet disaster
A monster of madness
You crawl into the mouths of men's hearts
Turn them inside out
Alligator dreams inside their minds
Ripping open its seam
You're a nightmare of red
With fangs of silver
And a flash of green
Your roar gives off a unworldy scent
Between worlds of gore
Not of long lost lore
Your warmth is poison
Your love unravels
Your bite is cancer
It kills with inspiration,
So sleep further than the blade of its knife
Or suffer endless obessions
Throughout the rest of your pitiful life.