A hello always ends in a goodbye.
A goodbye always means a new hello.
what if you don’t want to say goodbye?
What if you don’t want to leave?
What if you don’t want to be alone?
However, what if that’s the only choice you have?
What if when you try to be close to someone they leave?
Now you are forced to be alone.
What would you do then?
Perhaps think to yourself “people always leave.”
Perhaps say it’s okay, it’s better to suffer alone.
Perhaps tell yourself it is because no one wants you.
Then you tell yourself,
You are a mistake,
That you should have never been born,
And you believe it with everything you are.
What if you tell yourself that every night before you go to sleep?
And believe it every second of everyday.
And it kills you.
It kills you to know,
Everyone leaves,
No one likes you,
No one loves you,
That no one will be there for you.
Even if you desperately need that shoulder to cry on,
Even if you desperately need someone to tell you, “it’s going to be okay”,
Even if you just want to fit in and stop being such an outsider.
However, you know you will never fit in.
No matter how hard you try,
Yet, you try anyway
You try to be like everyone else,
You try to be normal.
But you know you’re not
You are not normal.
You are not like everyone else.
Even though you desperately want to be.
So you feel accepted,
So you can feel like you belong,
But maybe you just don’t.
Maybe you are just not meant for this world.
You tell yourself,
Maybe I shouldn’t be here.
No one will care.
Maybe you believe that.
That no one will care.
That no one cares.
That no one will care if you are gone.
And you believe it.
And you cry yourself to sleep every night,
Wishing praying hoping it will get better,
But it won’t,
And it’s not.