I’m tired of monologuing
Need another perspective.
I’m open to anyone’s
Swear I’ll be receptive.

Doom myself to mediocrity,
Doom myself for good.
Raise myself to excellence,
Sacrifice my good.
Try to make a difference,
Gladly - if I could.
Is all that’s left to settle?
I won’t accept it though I should.

Each passing day I spend with you
Feels like borrowed time.
Two people pretending to be in love,
A hopeless pantomime.

You played me well,
I must admit.
Uncovered all my flaws.

But something in how you did -
Ended our dialogue.
It wasn’t to heal or help me up
It was just to tear me down.
And now that you’ve exposed the truth
The queen lays down her crown.

Memories of sunshine
Memories of laughter
Never seem so perfect
Based on what comes after.

When I pick up the lighter
And trigger the flame
I know I’ll soon forget
The sound of my name.

The world will be muted,
My feelings aside.
Ideally I’m in for
One hell of a ride.

But the headaches and nausea
Bring me back to my body,
Remind me this is more
Than a casual hobby.

Leave Tony in the closet
Drown out his sweet song -
How could something that saved me
Feel so ******* wrong.