let me go with the wind
I am the earth
the clouds seem heavy
at peace since birth
as darkness creeps
the wind drags on
the angels mutter
who yet, to dine upon
weeping bells from the west
the ballad plays
I am the creator
love me for thy fake grace

Like kids playing a game in the fresh cut summer grass at a park. Careless and full of excitement. We laugh and act as children. Our lives are linked 1450 miles away. A feeling of secureness in someone you've never touched. A life you've only seen through pixels on digital screens. There's not a chance I will ever meet my corazon but I don't care. Intriguing my mind and challenging my soul, one doesn't forget. The feelings you invoke with your innocent smile that alters my perception on life. You give me a different view point on a model man. Something about you makes me want to be glorious. I am emotionally invested.

I feel like I'm in this world alone.
Wandering soul
Looking for another like mine
I cannot love another
Incapable of you
I am hopeless
No one compares
I cannot stop my mind
It reaches out
Wanting you
Craving your soul
Missing your mind
I don't know why
Feels like hell

I. Just wish we could talk.
Sometimes I need you.
To make sense of this world
You were good at that
Understanding me
It was always you
I can't do this much longer
I feel I'll go crazy
But I know
I am patient
I am strong
You cannot hurt me anymore
I am free
Yes I miss you
But I will live
Love was ours
God it was beautiful

i met a girl like you tonight.
short hair, wild attitude.
i was really never that mad at you.

Put time on my life

I am dying slow
I can't feel no more
Pain is all I know

Please update the feed

I am not a man
I can barely stand
Do you see my plan?

I hope you hear my screams

Begging stop your ****
The cryings over with
The pieces do not fit

Put time on my life

Take over my mind and interrupt my boyish thoughts. I am unsettled within. Deny me fear and see the way I strive without the help of a corrupt society. I am no longer that young boy distracted by the squirming insects in the corner of a classroom. Poisoned, swept into the corner, and left to dissipate into dirt. What if they had wisdom to teach us? We never even asked but instead we assume the worst. Disgusted by the sight of anything with lesser intelligence of a selfish mind. Still lost in the way of a day dreamer but focused on a path, I walk cleaner.

i don’t care if anyone likes me or not.
i don’t find myself caught up in the daily pleasures or indulgences that most of my peers boast about on social media.
although, my subconscious find ways to betray what my mind puts in play
this means that temptation is nothing until i’m caught
under a bridge
in the rain
trying to swim
my way out
of the storm
in my brain.

when my subconscious and conscious greet each other they say **** ME RIGHT?

today i yelled at my coworker for stacking the cups in an unorganized fashion.
**** ME RIGHT?

Often misinterpret feelings because no one has conversations. No exchanging of words
That's why we're on different pages
These things that I'm telling you are for your ears only. Understand that i am opening up, and my love is growing slowly.
We see that someone was attached and someone wasn't
And someone always hurts while the other lies that it doesn't.
A friendship ends and loving a person turns scary
Failed attempts make you cold and wonder if you'll ever marry.
People do you ***** and always wonder why. 4AM texts didn't mean anything and everything you said was a lie.
How'd I get so cold? Why do I push people away? Will I die alone when I'm old?
I ask myself these questions and I can't find an answer. Wondering when I'll find you and get rid of this cancer

Rub my face in the dirt, tell me I ain't ****.
You treated me less than a human, it's hard to admit.
That I,
still feel lonely in the dark and I cry out to you.
The pain bites like a shark, ripping the life from you.
I tell myself,
I need drugs to calm my rage
and fear my mind is older than my age.
I purposely deprive myself just to feel but I can't find a reality that's really real.
I'd like you to,
Explain to me how you came up with the idea to drown me in air.
I thought not but I guess you never know if people really care.

The masks we wear
hides the lies we share  
with a generation that does not care.
I think I messed up when
my mind let no one else compare.

Endless love and incapable of anything else
I give it all to you and forget myself
Sunlight to my life you give me grace
A fiend to you, I'm addicted to your presence I cannot replace
An indescribable feeling you bring me bliss
I'm all yours never to remiss
The missing piece to my grand plan
Finally a reality that we can all understand
Keep my words and let them fuel your endearment
Love only grows and never shows indignant
Paste my soul where you can see it, drown in my thoughts, and burn in my voice.
I have found a fire I cannot extinguish, a soul that understands and a love to rejoice

I think we live in a generation where people don't quite understand what other people are feeling. Misinterpreting emotions because we don't know how to show them.
Concealed behind social media we vent to a computer screen. Words are powerful and we misuse them everyday. Let's try and take the time and ask "if that were me would I be okay?" Changing the way we think would be nice. A goal of mine you could say. To make this world a better place because I can't stand to live like this. A world corrupt and we stand around and watch. We are killing ourselves and you rely on your God. No I am not perfect but I am constantly improving. Working towards a goal that society does not approve.

i’m all too interesting
although, unable to relate.
consider my personal state,
i’m not feeling too great.

i smoke cigarettes to blacken my lungs so they can match my heart
cough up tar in my morning caffeine that excite the drugs that i impart
after i inhale green to forget that i’m alive
then i balance it with aderall so that my anxiety will thrive

im prepared for the fire because my house has been burned before
those glowing flames don’t seem to be so inviting anymore
like how drugs come with a fear of peaking
when i dip myself in acid then wonder if my brain is leaking

somehow i have fit my ambiguity with the thoughts i consider more real
death is inevitable but am i really living if i have emotions i cannot feel
although i know this is not a dream because the scars i’ve pick at don’t bleed as before
and the crow awaits me singing my death as so, nevermore nevermore

I'm here in this world ripped and broken. 
Calling out your name in the same voice I've spoken.
Lost in a crowd with no one to look for. Listening and waiting for your voice puts myself at war. 
Waiting on and endless flight. 
Speaking of that forever sleepless night.
Gone gone gone, with no one to go to. 
I'll never feel the way I'm attracted to you.

I'm searching for a real love.

I'm a deep drowning undone emotional mess.
Mistreated heated gone in baked stress. 
It seems longer than time itself. 
Back and fourth we go gives you time to find yourself. 
I give you everything and all of my anything. 
Bringing all of me to meet your something.
Shaking in these dull moments for what?
Because I'm opening doors loving you shut.

the wind was blowing from the southwest today. i was infuriated by mostly everything. my mind began feeling a distance from my body when i was a junior in high school. periods of instability.

estranged and unengaged

i distance myself from society so that i do not act on my sobriety. emotions come in variety. i **** on my anxiety

I'm in a mid trap and all I think about you.
Can't sleep can't eat
nothing takes my mind off.
Reality vs Insanity?
you can ask me where I fall.
I can't breath, overrated anyways.
Values of life.
start contemplating every outcome 
Then accept them.
A starting place or a new beginning?
I need excitement, adventure.
Common words from a lonely man.
I can only contemplate death.
never to do a thing about it.
Lives unlike my own.
There is nothing greater than us.
show me what you believe,
I do not judge.
Life's only outcome is death. 
No one will be remembered.
Consumed with power and ego
I live to create a better life.
Not for me but my own.
Not to be remembered, 
But to remember lessons.
Because what is learned can only be remembered.

Speak inside my mind and search for something I have yet to find.  
I have a way of speaking
Made just from thinking
An individual grouped by society
Stereotyped and writing violently
My life a disgrace
But to whom I show my face.
Leave me to the depths I am no longer a man
A fiend for the part that no one understands
**** me please I am in insane
Red slumber my dreams remain.

It's nice to know you're doing fine,
I see that you're happy and I'm not on your mind.
It hurts that we don't talk. 
But it's good because we would never stop.
The things I wish I could tell you, 
The countless times I've almost called you.
Many nights that I don't sleep,
Drowning in tears as I weep.
Change is good for the both of us,
Moving on like we discussed.

I know that you'll always be there.
In my heart
In my mind
Somewhere.

Stay strong my queen, 
This world has so much to offer you.

Love is always beautiful in the end,
No matter what.

Drip drip the rain goes. 
Cold bitterness when the wind blows.
The weather turns my heart.
It's broken, slowly falling apart.
Lost in my own conscious mind.
Forever looking for something I can't find.
All of our memories are gone. 
Going through life with this mask I put on. 
Wanting something I shouldn't have.
Debating on whether I should have.
Leave it all here on this page. 
Writing my thoughts to calm my rage.
I'm going insane, please help me.
Love is something that we used to be.
Hating myself at times for my sins.
Crying inside when the episode begins. 
I cannot love another.
Standing alone, no one to call I love her.
Digging my grave in the dark by myself. 
No doubt that I'm stranded I don't need your help.
I'll write till my death and the pain fades away.
Choking my soul I have nothing to say.
Hearing your voice is torture to my ears. 
Our greatest debt is that we don't know out own fears.
Love is gone and drowning is nice.
They tell me to smile but I don't need advice.

I hope we meet in a void somewhere in the distant future. Somewhere our souls have connected and bodies float. An essence of ourself free to roam across the unseen dimensional universe we dream about. Take me to the place where our creators flaunt. Not far from here but you can't get there by foot, nor car, nor plane. It takes two to reach a state of spiritual independence in the universe to represent one another as a species. A species made to strive off of a counter part. Cohesively strengthening each others weaknesses to one day maybe find this place we write about. The place where we understand the word time and to teach us the moral principals we forgot when we became these selfish beings. An hunger to be an immortal  inter-dimensional being and shed the flesh of my morality. Give us life in a distant sea so that we may begin a world selfishly.

never not once has a god

not once has a god
said stay for me
so when i say don't pray for me
i mean don't stay for me
because i'm all you need
with hatred and all this greed
take care of yourself
but don't pray for me
don't pray for me

it's better that you just stay away from me

i can't help it
my mind is true and i'm selfish
lately i can't help it
life's been too much **** it
so just love it
then **** it
i got all the problems you gave
give me a time and place
so we can meet up and face
the lies we create

i can't tell you how much i love you

but this feeling is above you
i see you texting aggressively
leave me and judge me
i can tell you wanna **** me
just don't pray for me

so don't wait on me
and don't pray for me

i was built fast and i built to last
get your finger and pop my ***
coming down from that last bean
when i wake up i start to fiend
**** my brains
melt my chains
i take this gun
i let it aim
dreams of death
bring out the best
cut my wrists
my brains possessed

there you go again
off looking for love again
no time to waste
already in another's face
replaced me in 5 days
our 54 was just a daze
can't believe i'm stuck
she just wanted to ****
and unlike you
my heart breaks in two
my time wasn't enough
i roll these drugs and puff

All is not lost
This world is our fault
Cursed with a cost
We are subject my default.

Time to spare
We must act now
If I ever were to care
I have wisdom to endow

A flaw we cannot dismiss
People of lies
and society is selfish
With hatred filled eyes

I'm here to give advice
Smile and be kind
Find the words to be nice
Spread love to humankind

Love yourself
And love one another
Money means no wealth
And no being is above another

See the big picture
think beyond your ego
No different from anyone
Don't let your mind slow

Take my words
And Don't twist them
No shame within
Keep Love, no diadem.

I get excited about people. New people in my life that I find interesting. It's almost like a high. Spending time with someone and getting to know them. Its weird. I crave an emotional bond with another being. If that makes sense. A feeling of connection. Someone to decipher my thoughts. So I know I'm not the only insane one..

im magic to the touch
bring me back to life
it's not time to die
no not yet
i still need time to fly
i still
need and consume
it's all im good for
inhale drugs
exhale flies
i can't suffer without your lies
oh understand
i am nothing
nothing but alone
pitiful and disgraceful
undermine that im distasteful
i eat flies to make my face full
cry so that i can't pull
a life so ungrateful

We can't eat,
We can't sleep
But we like the pain
So we don't weep.

I'm not involved
You've shown me
I don't need you
My soul is empty

Lies from the tongue
I do not believe your heart
**** love, don't need it
I can't stop falling apart

Who are you?
No one, that's who
We're not friends
I don't like you.

Yeah, we still cool
I still smile when you look
Can't replace time
Don't give back what you took

The odds are against me.
For I am nothing.
Stuck on a road that leads to death. This feeling. The moment. It's killing.
I cannot breath so why am I here?
I cannot see, and I cannot think another thought.
Believe me when I say I am hopeless. Break me into pieces and throw me to the birds.
I am weak.
Let off the gas so I can take a break. This overwhelming heavy feeling on my whole body. I

don't know what to do.

dripping in gold,
eye contact is fatal.
i think i am unable to relate,
amongst my interpersonal debate.
relax time,
contain my glow.
it’s warm in december,
the weather changes
   without snow.

i wish you knew how my mind worked. i wish you could understand. i'm not sane all of the time. unstable and lonely. the places my mind goes to are dark and scattered.

I'm still so young and unclean
20, with a path that is still unseen
My voice means nothing
but I want to be a part of something
Writing may be the only way to go
Let people hear my thoughts and emotion show
Still living at a stand still
Just aging with no bigger shoes to fill
May my words be an inspiration
Now or later, destined to lead a nation
Greater things are meant to be
but what to make of what is meant for me
I believe my thoughts will form in time
Into something of value and sublime
Admire my rage, I am angry
Closer to an answer, only I can save me.

is it weird that i can see our future?
we’re not together but baby i have a plan.
oh someday we’ll be ready for each other but not now,
we’re too very young to be in love.
it’s always been you
you  
and you again

i choose you every time.
are you aware that i still think about you?
the impression you left.
amazing.

do you plan out the things we’ll do as i do?
oh i think of you.

someday i’ll be ready.
we’ll float the seas
and save the bees.
only for you.

again
and
again.
i choose you.

I need time alone
time to think
time find myself
I need to figure out who I am
I need to figure out what
The time alone
the time that I sit by myself
It hurts
it's miserable
I can't stand it
because all I think about is you
I don't know how to stop
I don't know why I do
but you're the person I need the most right now
and I can speak to you
how do I stop
who do I talk to
no one understands
no one listens
I don't know how to figure out what's going on my head
its just too much for me
you could make sense of how I feel.
You could help me through this
I know you could help me
but I can talk to you
because I'm scared
scared we'll fall right back into cycle scared of you of what you think of me

but the true reason can't talk to you because I love you
and I know that if I talk to you
it would just ruin everything
I'm sorry but I just don't know what to do

your appearance tells all,
your highs and downfalls
you blend in for the most part,
a conspicuous nature that tends to rub off on people.
that’s why you prefer to be alone 78% of the time.
you usually skip breakfast because your bed feels too nice to leave.
drowning in your unconscious,
time is your greatest enemy.
forever young, keep in mind.
never say no to a fun time.

be free
be free
i feel that i may see,
a better outlook to pull me from the trenches.
deep within we fear
only our minds
that we seek to be clear.

It's way too early to be feeling this way
I can't suppress my thoughts
I am nothing
Powerless human
What can I do?
Something is wrong with me
Eating me from inside.
Been this way for months
I need a new life
This one I'm in isn't exciting
I need to run
I need to leave
Before it's too late
Before my mind consumes me
Heart and soul impenetrable.
Veins run cold
I'm something you will never understand
I am lost and chained.
My optimism is gone
Mind has been corrupt
My thoughts are not my own
How did I get here?
I know you dwell within
Deep in my mind you wait
Suppress the monster.
Keep him chained.
He waits and anger builds
I'm breaking away
Stress and pressure consuming me
And still he waits.
Trapped in this cruel world
With only one goal
How to escape?

I believe we are immortal in a way. When you speak of a soul what do you think of? Something that you have? An interdimentional thing? What if I could show you my soul? A soul is not linked or stuck within  It's an ever present glow that is contagious. Constantly showing in what you do. In the efforts you put fourth. Your soul is what you create. Art is a reflection of something inside of us that we may never understand, but it's beautiful.  How do you describe to me something only you can feel? You can't. You can only show me. Our souls mark this earth like cranberries on a white shirt. The stain may fade over time but its presence is always known. We paint our souls across a world that will only forget that we live forever.

Just a lonely soul
Wandering the earth
In search for something
That can never be found
Cursed at birth
Incapable of loving another
Never to change
Born for leaving

This is me
Gypsie at heart
Runner not a lover
I dine with the witches
A beast of no remorse
Show no pain
No fear
Consume what's in my path
I am lost

I always will be.

Just another someone to make me feel special for a couple weeks. Nothing long term you're only temporary. I don't make plans for us. I tell you from the start that I'm not what you're looking for. I'm not your knight and shining armor. I'm not your best friend. I don't need your help. I don't want to hear what you have to say. I know how it all goes. It's easy to say yes. It's easy to give in a little and like how she feels. It's okay for today and tomorrow. Sickening when I try and feel. Coming here I will not be hurt again. You can't get to know me. You can't change me. I'm not like the others. I crave to be something you can't make me feel. There's no point in this. I just get lonely. I'm not the same man. Drowning in my thoughts. 
Incapable of love.

you're a heartbreaker and as much as i try to keep from falling,
my vulnerability seeps through my pores.
loosening my grip,
sweating out my insecurities into puddles on the concrete underneath me.
so don't slip,
on the melted walls i once built to hide the fact that i'm alone.

i don't see them
i don't lift my head
i don't take out my earphones
i don't know why i'm mad
i don't know why i'm different
i don't know who i am
i don't think i'm always the same person
i don't like the other me
i don't like to fight it
i don't think people understand
i don't think they know i'm crazy

aimlessly abusing anothers cognitive psyche is a crime against yourself.
you begin to lose the things that make a human :fearemotiontime: it's easy to fall into those grooves. the low tides that wash bodies to the shore on late october nights. sad and distant. too young to disappoint but too old to love. find me a keeper. time isn't relevant but the wax from my candle has begun to drip on my hand. oh i fear the day i disappoint. the sunken indention on the couch has relevance. over used and abused is where we connect. letting strangers prob their feet wherever they please. i need you to stop.

We met in the sewer. An odd place to be on such a dreary night. leaves cracked as we crept into the dim tunnel. The tips of our fingers stained blue and yellow. our souls painted on the cold grey concrete at 1:05 AM. Nothing good ever happens after midnight. Later our lips touched and minds crossed. She gave me her bracelet so that every time I look at I have to think of her. A fire was sparked

it's typical, she's what you expected.
childish and perplexed.
it wasn't bad timing or objected.
just feel like we weren't what we expected.

smashing personalities, something like colliding stars.
silent tragedies are what i love for,
break my steaming heart so i can write more.

All is forgotten but not forgiven. 
Sleeping just to pass the time. 
Staying high to block out the pain. 
Been months since I've cried
It's just a high school relationship.
Nothing big, just a broken heart. 
Lonely stoner finding his way. 
Tired of seeing the same people. 
Music is my release. 
It's my temporary escape. 
Sooner than later.
Back to reality. 
We all have demons.
My rage dwells within.
I'm angry and I don't know why.
****** at the world. 
I don't want anything to do with anyone.
Leave me alone.
Please.

Grow with me
Understand my life and listen to the thoughts that I hold dearly. I will be the melody that eases your soul when you feel alone. A voice to calm your anxiety and grieving bones.

Don't be so distant.

Because being next to you
is like dying.
Or flying.
I haven't figured it out yet

We could do great things you and I. Although, I know you have a path and I have mine. Time is the only thing working against us. Why shouldn't we make something beautiful out of the few short weeks we have until January?

You spoke of soulmates once.
Someone you can
learn from
and grow.
Maybe just for a small moment
In life.

If we love and lose then I would be okay. A beautiful heartbreak. Why can't we see it that way? Two smooth pears in a prickly patch bound to rot away but we could be alone together before we have to move away.

i’ve come to believe that the definition of love is very broad and complex and is hard to describe.
although, i know what love is when i see it. eyes are said to be a reflection of the soul and when two lovers are matched with their counterpart their eyes are stable and confident.

an undying trust that is fueled by a desire to be complete.

sometimes i wonder;
do my eyes shake because the taste of love is something i have not acquired. for my testimony of in doubt passion screams for another who shares the same eyes. eyes that can see my vision of peace. eyes that direct hatred from the soul.
eyes that don’t judge nor falter.
eyes that know pain.
sometimes when i look into your eyes i see my reflection, my vision, my love.

I am what I am
Nothing more
And nothing less
pry at me if you wish
I will tell all someday
I will tell of the day she left
The day my parents separated
The day where I feared no man
The days that made me who I am
The days that made me a man
I will cry in your arms
Weeping my sorrows away
Passing them on to you
Trusting that you'll know what to do with them
Someday you will come along.
To save me from myself
To ease my troubled soul
And to bring light where darkness fell
Someday my love
I will show you who I am
All of my hopes and dreams
Downfalls and surprises
One in thousands.
Just another fish in the sea
Can you find me?
My love.

So how does this work? Does it all go away at once?
How long do I wait? Will time ease the punch?
Fighting sobriety to push away my pain.
Holding in the tears that remain.
I don't know what to do.
The days are cold when everything reminds me of you. 
I have to get you out of my head. 
I can't love with you the way you said.
No sleep and I can't eat, 
It's like you put the pain on repeat.
Everything that we've done is all gone,
Slowly falling I need someone to out this weight on.
I don't want this. I don't want this pain.
I hurt too much to explain.
Done with this
Time to move on and forget the girl I used to miss.

Some of my most beautiful memories are with her. What am I supposed to do with them?
This is the problem I face today. I don't know how I feel or what to say. 
Crazy within, mind undone, stress sleeps in.
Can't deal with myself, who is looking back at me?
I don't know where I am or who I can be? 
The beat of the drum lingers in my ears. 
Putting on this smiling face for my peers.
Stomach churns, fingers tingle, fire inside burns.
Where are my problems? Lay them out in front. 
No more desires, the wolf is out of hunt.
It's only when she's present that I feel.
This big hole in my heart I'm trying to heal.
Hear my words because I sing to you.
The sunrises and the moon sets too.
my love.