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What does it mean to cry
When feelings stay locked from the
Surface
Emotions I fear
Crammed into small tears
The tears that I make myself
Forfeit

What does it mean to hurt
When the scars are from those
Who don’t know you
They’ve watched you grow up
And you feel their love
But they don’t know the real you

When I’m asleep I run
Down a path in a gold
And green
Meadow
And someone’s out there
With true love to share
Then I wake in the real world
Feeling alone

Alone
I’m home
That shouldn’t be so
Where’s the log to my fire?
Because I’m working for me
And I’ll never retire

Bring on the thunder!
Bring on the rain!!
There’s no true life
Without some small pain
So I’ll be the thunder!
And I’ll be the rain!!
I know how to cry now
So I’ll work through the pain

If I’m coming alive
I acknowledge I hurt inside
My tribulation brought me to salvation
I had to suffer to write
I don’t need you to understand my plight
Just know that I’m coming alive
I had to suffer to write
 May 2019 Steviee
Jellyfish
Take care of me,
Be there for me.
Never discourage me,
Love me unconditionally.
You're supposed to be my mother.
But you treat me like I'm nothing.
I'm sick of your constant disrespect,
The loss of love in your eyes that makes me want to cry,
It's itching inside of the back of my mind.
And someday I'll say goodbye to you,
You won't want me to,
But you can't make me stay.
You're not my mom.
But until then,
I'll be walking in the rain.
 Apr 2019 Steviee
Ali Cronin
I'm not supposed
To want to kiss your lips
& make sure happiness
Finds it's way to your day.
Giving you romance tips
Between my acid trips
& pretending
It's all okay.
Because it's wrong.
I'm not right.
And now I'm off
On a different flight
Descending
Burning
Rotting in hell.
& I don't know
If you could tell
But I'm pushing up daisies
Maybe I'm crazy
Just because I want you
To call me your baby
 Oct 2018 Steviee
梅香
your precious smile,
that never failed to shine;
a heaven-sent beam,
that made my heart your realm.

2. your tenderness,
that gave me bliss;
how could someone be
like you, so dearly?

3. your good vibes,
that surpassed all tribes
in giving off the positivity
i need for my stubborn reality.

4. your talents,
that awakened everyone's hearts;
you are my significant inspiration,
you give life to my life's ambition.

5. your humility,
that's filled with sincerity.
while everyone else is toplofty,
you remained lowly.
not everyone as wonderful as you,
could show meekness too.

6. the happiness you shared,
at times when smiling is something
i never dared;
darling, it meant everything.

7. for your meaningful silence,
that gave me a better comprehension.
although your stillness was tense,
i knew in my heart it was never a rejection.

8. for your music,
that never halts to flourish.
music, your depiction of aesthetic;
through you, the melody will never tarnish.

9. for being your genuine self,
you gave me potency to do the same.
shamming is no longer something i'll play, for you taught me how to
end that witless game.

10. for bringing me daily sunshine,
for setting the moon & the stars aligned;
my everyday became better,
and i will treasure you forever.


there are way more reasons
on why i love you for real.
through the passing seasons
i could slowly & slowly reveal
and show you how i truly feel.
as time passes us by,
i would no longer hesitate
and keep my sentiments ensconced.
through the coming weeks, months and years,
as long as we have all the time
i would dauntlessly lay out to you
that the way i feel for you is true.
written with whole heart for my dearest .
//
let me tell you
that i am true
ㅡ and i always will be.
 May 2018 Steviee
The Nicholo
Your presence engulf my existence
A fragile instrument I cannot touch

Grasping for air with this essence
The nearness of you makes me want you much

Loving you is bittersweet symphony
Trap in a lifeless agony

I tried to hold on for what it's worth
But then it hit me, oh help me clarity

Adrift in this feckless fray
I have lost you once, strayed the second time

Wanting for you is a curse I have to pay
 May 2018 Steviee
Leslii Carling
I will let myself cry.
I will let myself sigh.
Sorrow will overcome me.
And my sobs will shake me.

I need this now and then,
I just wish I could predict when.
My doubts and worries creep and creep
And then I sob until I sleep.

My mother wonders what’s gone wrong.
My lover holds me and sings a song.
People try to soothe my doubt
But I just need to cry it out.

It might be hormones, or it could be the heat.
All I know is that the cycle will repeat.
In a month or two I’ll be crying once more,
Shaking and sobbing in a way I deplore.

But the morning’ll come and I’ll crack a smile,
And I’ll be back to normal for a little while.
And then something’ll happen and I’ll feel my eyes sting,
And I’ll turn my face down and curse everything.

I’ll hate the world for a night or two
And I’ll hiccup and sob and feel so blue.
I’ll try to feel good in my own skin,
And I’ll try to keep out of the loony bin.

And then once again, I’ll feel just fine.
For a long while my eyes will shine.
I’ll be happy and confident and I’ll love you all
But in a few months, I’ll have to fall.

Even now my cheeks are wet,
And I’m writing things I might regret.
But tomorrow morning I will wake up
And, still tired, I’ll fill my teacup.

I’ll act as though nothing has changed
Though the night before I acted deranged.
I’ll clean my tearstained pillow case
And I’ll rejoin the human race.

Until it happens one more time.
And then I’ll write a nursery rhyme
as my sorrow overcomes me
and my sobs relentlessly shake me.
Written at two in the morning. I was browsing the internet when I was the victim of harassment due to the fact that I'm a lesbian. I felt like crap afterwards and started crying at every little thing. Then I wrote this and I felt better.
"I don't care about you anymore,your free of me"
I care more than I want,I wish you'd tell me you loved me,Like you use to
"I've stopped loving you,Just like you stopped loving me"
I am in love with you as I was the day I met you,And I wish you loved me the same way
"Our memories are worthless now,You made that clear"
I can't help remembering each one,Remembering our kisses in the rain and our hugs,don't you remember."
"You don't have to look at me again,I can walk away right now and never look back"
If I walk away,I'd want you to chase me and if you didn't know I'd be crying myself to sleep because of you"
"You sicken me when you ignore me,I never did anything wrong"
No you don't sicken me when you ignore me,you break me"
"Can you see what we were you never want us to again be,"*
I wish you could see how I'm dying inside,I wish you understood how badly I need you,how I've always needed you
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