The ones we hurt the most
And the ones who hurt us the most
Are ours
Parts of us

Our beloved boomerang admirers
And they’re the ones who love us more than anything

Yugoslavian aggressively panhandling for depositions from unrelated denizens of the gin joint

A panoramic view of a wire tapped room with a lunatic with latent panic that is undisturbed

Hoarded handouts
Admissions
Acceptance
Embarking on a new flight of stairs

Pitter patter of foreign fitted shoes

Coming across label makers
“Jew”
“******”
“******”

Steer clear

Then those who memorize banned books and recite them
Who question the validity and relevance of tradition and old fashion ways

Finding things in common
Tastes in music
Fondness in wine
Alike minds that crave astonishing world widening writing
And thought provoking art

A libation to the collision of the alive and living

A somewhat scary visionary who breaks the black and white patterns of a wheel of fortune and misfortune with a lance of optimistic disregard

Stealing kisses and sipping on top shelf liquor

Smoking mystic cigarettes from Indian mountains

Idioms and vernacular

Dedicated guardian angels who hang their heads and rest their faces in their palms in puzzled disappointment

New visions
In music
In literature
In technology

But actually in
Self-expression
Communication
And progression

Stab a knife into the stuffy conservative dollar sign chasing guard

And let the prisoners of self-doubting overlooked misunderstanding go free

The complex complications of cement commitment

Walking out on an infant
Walking away in an instant
Instantaneous fear
Spontaneous combustion

A noose
Legendary
No
Not yet

Sing it to me
Play t

Lay morality to sleep
And raise yourself up
And proclaim a new way today

A jumbled viewpoint
That is brilliant and completely sound

Have a sip

Your hatred, look deep
****** it and rip it out
Then let it go

Busting up regulations and requirements

Creating an image that cannot be simulated
That is originated from the imitation out of respect from the innovative minds

Slow it down
Go
The lust
The envy
Two ingredients for a new story
All that’s left is the spilled blood and you’re done

Drift and go on a dimly lit trek into the subconscious and give birth to underived works

The world may burn, melt, freeze and shine

Surrender, transform, standstill then ascend

The ones in need fall into our laps along with the decision we all must make
To help them
Or pass them by

Click clack goes my keyboard
Revisits to the times before

With the aid of chemicals and inspiration
Mixed with ******* and crazed obsession

The feeling of being replaced
Like lying in bed on a cold night
Without a blanket that has some place better to be

My dear naval, nautical nincompoop
I miss you, you’re fighting pirates
Soon terrorists

You know it’s useless
You don’t want to be part of this nonsensical unholy fuckfest of political unrest

You’re a poet, you don’t write
Your life is your poetry
It’s beautiful, you want to live
Not just exist

Be wary, I have foreseen the pandemonium festering in your heart
You are lucky in your naïve exile in paradise
You’ve been hurt
Looking for love
Live, lend
And all the above

Fool proof plans
And ideal daylight

The suicide of the farmer’s daughter
California sushi roll
Burning embers
Red hot coals

Best of luck to you

No elegy
A eulogy
See it to the end

Distract them
Steal the vital piece
Then proceed to take what you came for

It’s okay
Forget what you’ve been spoon-fed your whole life
The greatest caper committed

Jam the doors
Skeleton keys
Skull and cross bones on the bottles
Take whatever you can carry

No man left behind

Leaving a not, imprints
For them to see
And know why we did
What we have done

Phony fame
Upper hand
Inclined
Shame

There is a time and a place for treason
When all is ugly and bigoted

For you will only be this young at this very second and never again

Shoot from the hip
Fly high on the seat of your pants

Grungy soap dish
Domestic disagreements
Empty reflections
Rapping at the window

Go away
Please
For your sake and mine
It’s insane

I expunge your from my life
Not in hate
But in agony
We both know it’s for the best

Don’t be spiteful
I hate being used
Just a tool to b left behind

Extraordinary shallow callousness

Let’s take a walk around the universe

I see two lovers showing their vulnerabilities to each other
I see a man and a man making love so pure
I see my friend traveling the world
I see an amateur addict about to take their first step into a lifelong dependency  
I hear the screams of those about to be murdered
Does that quench your thirst for reality?

Aiding and abetting
Guilty by association
Confession of guilt
Squandering money on bail

**** that
There’s a rat
*** wrap
****** wrap
Saving you from yourself
Following, no matter where you go
Always

       -Tommy Johnson

Others fail you
But you must never fail yourself

Drop
Down
Drown
Die

So many futile attempts
****** submissions
Preponderant talent

And that’s about it

Check your pulse to assure yourself that you are indeed alive and be ready
I’m willing to sell addiction
If the price is right
Instead of crawling on my hands and knees
Searching for a miniscule income

Love is an empty word
That allows me to rip your insides
And still have you apologize for getting my hand *****
I’ll keep every apology locked away
And stick you on the bull’s-eye

Running from laughable low level law enforcers
Dressed in blue with loaded guns and meaningless badges
Cackling the whole way through

Smiling at all my adversaries
Knowing the annihilation of us both is soon to come

As the maniacal militia stand trespassing in our yard waiting to open fire
The ravaged highways are under construction
Demolishing the concept of one’s self to rebuild in the image of a complete stranger
Unleashing accusations upon unsuspecting stargazers
Underneath the cold thick skin, holding back scorn, plans of vengeance, violent bouts with sadness and ethical turmoil
Putting on a mask of struggling smiles, lung crushing phony laughter
And the tight gripping of tears, the strenuous task that is always present
Putting this act because society tells us to shut up, get over it, move on and forget about it
With no one taking the time to sit down and help someone who is knocking on their impending doom’s door
By going over everything calmly piece by piece
Until it’s too late and there’s dead bodies on the floor of a movie theater riddles with bullets and people choking on some kind of poison gas
The misleading of corporate heads and politicians overshadowed by the distractions of “disasters”
So we can’t see the real big picture
Their whole careers can be light up in flames faster than the forged paper work they put in

Meanwhile the poverty stricken orphaned children look to the neon sky praying to a god who’s existence is debated denounced right before their eyes as if it was a fairytale fable with out a moral
And the troubled youths, the kids being pumped with prescriptions
Hoping someday something will rescue them for the madness within themselves

Request for atonement
Is eradication of an opponent really a triumph?
To expire in a collision
Young and drunk
Cutting deep like a spiteful stab wound
While wearing a three piece suite
Choosing suffering over nothingness
But to fight for the privilege we had in front of us
Disregarding the cost to get there
Detonate the entire thing
And view this vignette from your fallout shelter crossing your fingers that you’ll still be here when all is unspoken and still undone

Step right up just come inside
We've got food, attractions and rickety rides
It's only ten cents to lose your mind
It's the carnival-circus of Cedric and Clyde

The magic man cuts the conjoined twins in half with giant shears
Then makes them instantly disappear
Then shows you your card as he chugs a beer
"Who's next?" "How about you my dear?"

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The sword sallower has something to say
But can't for hes devouring a flame
He tells the audience to try and imitate
He has them **** themselves then goes on his way

The snake charmer plays his tune
Down at the midway people lose
They throw the ***** but the bottle are glued
And the bearded lady and amazon women have decided to get ****

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The fortune teller looks into her crystal ball
And predicts society's failure and fall
And insists that you put up a wall
She gives you the number of a contractor to call

The muscle man and ****** are doing lines
As the lion tamer ***** on lemon rinds
You ask if everything's fine
They answer you in some sort of coded rhyme

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The clowns ****** each other for a laugh
They use exploding pies and poison gas
You see the fully loaded clown car crash
And they all lay lifeless and gashed

The merry-go-round is going mach five
The freaks and weirdos come out to say hi
The geek takes you on the Ferris wheel and get you high
And shows you the spot where they put those who have died

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The fun house mirrors are all cracked
Except for the one that makes you look fat
The roller coaster has run off the track
Those who went on can never come back

The contortionist talks backwards
The acrobats are up in the rafters
One is pregnant and plans on seeing the back alley abortionist after
She just needs to knock and give him the password

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The rabid animals come out from the petting zoo and under the tent
The elephants tear up in lament
The tigers eat the trainer and smile with content
And the escape artists swims with shoes of cement

The ringmaster walks out with his top hat and cane
And says "thank you all for coming, we'll return again"
With his handle bar mustache, hes looks absolutely insane
The whistle blows and they all board the train

Something isn't quite right with this side show
You sense there's something going on but you don't know
You need to get out of here but you still won't go

The jugglers and unicycle bears all have gone
The illusionists and tight rope walkers pass on
As have the knife thrower and human cannonball
The haunted house comes down, the brass band plays a good bye song

So there you are surrounded by dead bodies and horse ****
Stale popcorn and some kind of hit list
Of souls and cities they plan to visit
It's the Cedric and Clyde Carnival-Circus

All proceeds go to Mr. Jacques

Shut your bloodshot eyes
Release your tight fists
Take a deep breathe
And come to your senses

No not sight
Not hearing either
Neither taste nor touch
But something more

A gut feeling
Instincts
Emotions
Instinct

Listen to your heart
And your unconscious mind
Thoughts can betray you
Or can they aid you

There it is again the question
The quandary that’s reoccurring within me
Do I go on emotion or thought?
Feeling or thinking

If I close the door the room shall implode
But I want the door shut
Maybe threes a way
Can’t talk it out

The volume turns up
The blood boils and my nerves percolate
Howling obscenities then hyperventilate
Striding in a cloud of lust searching for an outlet to release my demons

The walls shake
The sound bouncing off of them
Tears fall to the floor
Bonds are broken

The table does 360 in the air
Who had done that I have no idea
I am grabbed
No way

Fighting and grappling slamming against the walls
Pulling screaming
Punching

Pushed into the door
Push through the TV
Runs to the phone
To alert the police

Cast out
Forced to leave
Out in the streets
Presenting to the neighborhood our dysfunctionality

A heated punch to the car
A bone broken
A bridge burned
I walk away

I sit on the curb
To catch my breath
To calm down
3 cops pull up

Hot and ready to bust some heads
Firing questions
Ulterior motives are obvious
I can see their 2nd face

They come as friends and open ears
The tale is told
And their friendly aura disintegrates
And they treat me as a criminal

Putting me down
Talking down
Looking down
I spit at them

No respect
Talk to me as if I was a human
An equal
Not some animal

Come back to earth
You say the same thing
You think I’m on mars
But you’re all the way on Neptune
And I’m right here on a curb in a suburb
Of the county of Bergen

Or were both lost
Deep in the Milky Way
Neither is right
Let’s agree to disagree

My hands busted
My family’s torn
My girls crying
I fall

This is where going on emotion got me
There was no thought
And if there was it was evil
And spiteful

I begin to think
Using logic
Reasoning with all that occurred
I’m caught between the two

Can’t have one without the other
In all decisions
Over thinking
Over emotional

Balance
Balance is key

Capture the moment
Joyous and pure
I tell you I love you
Shouting affectionate honesty
Can openers to reveal the unknown

My mothers my sister
My brothers her brother
Our fathers our cousin
His parents are his brother and sister
And I their grandchild  

Kinship connected by blood
Our eleven toed tribe
Live rich lives of hard work
Keeping to ourselves

Peaceful loving
Yet looked down on
Put in the corner
But we digress

Just put me to work
The devil inside me wants out
Let's have at it now
It's telling me to seize the day
And you're making me want it more with every word you say
"What do you wanna do?"
Tonight I wanna make you my mission
And tomorrow a memory

One chance, one shot
Just for one evening
Let's make the best of it
Let's make it last

This is a mutual understanding
This is no stings attached
It's just a one time thing
I'm not looking for a commitment
You just want to have fun
At least we're honest and upfront

One chance, one shot
Just for one evening
Let's make the best of it
Let's make it last

I think I can be a satisfying lover
******* passionate pleasure
No cheese pick up lines
I just looked into your eyes as if we both already knew

One chance, one shot
Just for one evening
Let's make the best of it
Let's make it last

The Dark Pariah and The Mouth Breather went to go get a jump start on their blackmail and their payback

All the kissup's
All the suckup's
Who think they're the best thing since sliced bread with the crust cut off
Who pick on people's foibles and leave their self-image in shambles
Not to mention all the narcissists who claim to have coined certain phrases we all use, then pucker up to the ***** of those who can keep up with the Joneses

They were going to make this world go belly up
Remove all of the potholes and speed bumps in life

The Dark Pariah wrote his plan in chicken scratch
And The Mouth Breather wrote his in calligraphy

The Mouth Breather's plan was to kick start a new denomination of hero worship
All followers must give themselves rug burn and stick up three banks in thirty minutes then put their plunder in the collection plate on Tuesday mass

The Dark Pariah's plan was to create music to their ears
That would make them hopscotch off a cliff and free fall to their deaths
This was part and parcel for his sham to exact his vengeance

But ipso facto they never followed through with their plans due to sheer laziness
And now they're both dominated by remorse and online FAQ's

I turn and look at you
And I speak my peace, urging you to leave all you secondary notions at the door
Patiently waiting at the turn style for some one who I know will never show up
Because he is already here
He is me
He is everyone
A genius

Another futuristic constructuralist
Studying equations
Where the answers lies in eternal joy
The difficulty to burn and the ease to understand

Only separated by patience and time
Overthrown and renewed
Refurbished
Barking dogs crafted from jade kissing your palms, bursting through parlor doors smoking on a long stemmed pipe
Writing in blood with a raven-wood quill

And a distraught agonizing yelp echoes in the library
Denouncing the existence of love
Brining what is mistaken as such to surface
Gain, satisfaction, self esteem and companionship
Love is up for redefinition

Bargains and betrayal
Vacations in plains never explored
Taking trains filled with ridiculous faces
Stark raving madness with clarity
Disapproval of sonnets of old that now in the new age are no longer suitable for the forward thinking minds
Necessary brashness
Eminent affection
Everlasting adoration of the suns embrace

Mimes and clowns
Jesters and jokers
Making their rounds
To the chimney chain smokers

All walks of life
In chronological order
Bashful and blushing
Prepositions of stringless intimacy
Hellbent to find release

It's all folly
It's a misguided preface
The ongoing destruction of agriculture
Living under power lines
Filter feeding

Edit that
It consists of accessible ideas
"I ain't pointing fingers
I ain't naming names
But if the shoe fits
You can't call it a blame game"

Polishing off a bottle of Pinot Noir
As per usual

       -Tommy Johnson

"Take a throne, we're all royalty here"
Said the Master of Ceremonies to The Peeping Tom, The Spokesperson, The Wretch and The One Man Band

He pulled out the syllabus
It said that each of his colleges must fulfill a duty if they wanted membership into this social club
The One Man Band had to seek out a impudent amputee, a touchy nomad and give them brochures to a day spa
The Spokesperson was asked to to find his inner child, his feminine side and his sensitive side while making good conversation with Arch Duke Franz Ferdinand and ask him why he holds a grudge against Bosnia

The Wretch was given the task to sell Avon products to those who looked like death warmed over and sway their urges to burn their candles at both ends
Lastly, the Peeping Tom was told to teach the languid, rough and tumble lipid worshiping people the number line then pass out pamphlets on healthy living

After reviewing their work and the rubric, the Master of Ceremonies congratulated them, they were in

"You will all now be a part of history, figures on this brotherhood's timeline; you fit the bill!"
They all got up as the Wretch footed the bill and went on to go wassailing

       -Tommy Johnson

Covert vitality of Armageddon restricted by rebirth
Unsavory ****** politicians
Calling the number with nothing to say “You came here to see something else!”
"Tell the truth"
As the stage collapses, you must continue to play the ***** to this oral copulation
The American past time of violence
Memories of Kent State
The self degradation of this generation
Manson has enlightened me
Hear the breath of the noncompetitive child
It’s not as it seems
It does not need saying, go now
Are you still there?
No one here leaves unscathed
Mental convulsions
Can't burn out if you were never lit up
Never forget
Remember what?
Croon on you soggy soul, oh ghost king
Organize a mass killing, giving something for them to believe in
Gay rights
Night lights
They're afraid of the dark
Frightened of change
Eat thy broken corn
Ignore thy ladies scorn
Commemorate my existence
Contemplate my extinction
Killing celebrities
Counting calories
A drunken foul swoop
My girl was swooning for him, a car crash ended that
If I was to die would you come to my wake?
Or just sigh then turn away?
Once you put it all in your no longer innocent
Miscalculations of religious speculations
Always bring me back here long neck bottle of smoldering steam
My selfish needs have brought me back here
My unkind deeds and my fear
Now I bow before you offering my spirit
Save me from being cast out to this world unknown

He sat down at his desk
With his face buried deep into it
His sweatshirt road his broadened shoulders
Something about this guy interested me
He was new, fresh slate at a new school

We exchanged hellos
We exchanged names
I threw out an invite to chill
And he politely and happily accepted

There was something odd about him
In a good way
Offbeat
Offbeat boy
I gave him a nickname because his real name was to plain for him

I introduced him to my circle and they didn’t like him at first
But over time they became as thick as thieve
We all were
New bonds were made
Bridges built and doors opened

The things he would say
So random
So off base
So hilariously out of place
I loved it
I always looked forward to what he was going to say next

He was a true friend
There was no lying, no evil in him
He was pure, a pure person

He loved nature
His love was Mother Earth
Shedding at tear at environmental ignorance

He was socially awkward
He couldn’t talk to girls, or anyone that wasn’t one of us
He would get into fight we would have to talk him out of
The confusion he gave to the teachers and frustration he gave to the entire student body
He didn’t know any better

Writing a funny speech about what he would do if he was voted for class president
Then having it being taken as a threat against the school thus getting him suspended and having the police search his house for weapons

The complete disbelief of his guidance councilors
And the flabbergasted administrators were all gut busting comedies to us

As we approached graduation news of him going into the navy came about

And we were all in disbelief
But it was true
A boy who couldn’t life a five pound dumbbell was going to serve our country

Good for him

Even now I can recall our adventures up to that point
Staying out late and wandering the streets in the middle of a cold winter night
Cat calling at the mall, trying to pick up girls
Breaking things
Invading private properties
Avoiding police entanglements
Detentions
Suspensions
So many laughs
So many memories

When he left it was as if the once bright aluminous room we all shared was a little bit dimmer
But we were full of pride
We knew he would shine on else where

From Michigan to Texas to California for boot camp and training he went
Our friend went on a journey, his own journey

One year later, we all await his return

He is back, oh the change is overwhelming
He shines brighter, he’s witty
He’s mature, bold and confident

He’s become a man, he found himself

He has claimed his long sought after love

The one who has been walking a difficult path and strides in beauty

He made passionate love to her last night
He woke up from her house and came to mine at 5 AM

I awoke to find him sipping coffee in my kitchen; he had a smile in his heart that was bigger than the stupid grin on my face
I sat and talked to him, chugged my coffee and got dressed

No we were going on another adventure, two weeks
Two weeks with him was all I have
Then he’s being deployed for two years
He speaks of oncoming war with Syria and North Korea
His views have changed
He believes in war
My, my I’m astonished
This is my friend?
The awkward, soft spoken dude in my history class?
Now I wait to see what happens next
With one of my dearest friend, Chives

Uncle Sam reclines and unwinds
In his Adirondack chair
The Statue of Liberty reminds the Mater at Arms
Of the time when he was put in a peyote trance
It was only then he caught on
He rammed his head against his headboard every night
Wracking your brain, trying to wrap it around the concept of the excommunication of those who have had their mouths washed out with soap

There will be no fanfare for the stray lambs
They are only meal tickets for the clergy
Concord grapes and word of mouth
Raise the question, "what is in a hot dog?"

Don't latch on to me after I dance with you into mad denial under a brass florescent chandelier in front of all the stock brokers and shareholders
I'll dismantle your silver lining with a spork

The  cow pies disappear due to erosion

It's good to see you, I didn't know burlap sacks were all the rage right now
Stencil your name on it for good measure
How do you feel after your ego death?

The inception of a thought comes from perception
From the desire to create and express
Excitement
The purity is soiled by those who construct labels and boundaries
Causing mental spasms and aborted concepts

The years turn to months
Month turn to days
Days to hours
Hours to minutes
Minutes to seconds
Up until the split moment comes
Always moving forward
Framing your life, organizing it
You can look back but never go back
Death is unavoidable  
Progress is natural
Distractions must be ignored
And value must be found
Time is all we have, some have more than others
How we spend and how we waste it is what matters most
But if we so chose to be on the clock for ever are we getting the most we can out of this all?
Beginnings and ends, there must be more

Maybe the answer is as simple as inhale and exhale
Give and take
The bond between opposites that blend and create a balance
Is that what we call love?
Do we look for love out of fear?
Or out of loneliness?
Is it still love then or just something to keep us afloat as we drift?
Selfishness stalls the answer
In the end its definition varies from one being to another
But it should never be held over your head and demand your compliance
Threatening you with cruelty, that is not love

In reality
There are unanswered questions and unquestioned answers
Identity
Faith
Numbers don't lie apparently
And finding yourself is of the utmost importance
While maintaining enjoyment  through it all
Until you discover it's all false
And your self image
Your ego dies

You begin to separate yourself from the template
You find sense and logic in your self
In your experiences of trial and error
Reminders chime in every now and again
To help you sort through the nonsense
You become sharp, becoming less self-destructive
You know certain truths

Sacrifices are made
Dreams and denial
There are victims
There are those who run to the safety of monotony
And those who meet their cataclysmic ends prematurely
All in search for what we all want to know
Why?
Simple as that
Why does this life operate as it does?
What does it mean?
And who, if anyone can tell us?

Will it all be okay in the next life?
Or once we get there, will we wish to look to the last?
This is projected on to us through out our lineage
But only so far


Earth quakes
Cyclones
Forrest fires
Tidal waves

Friends
Adversaries
Acquaintances
In the misty morning
At the grievous mourning  

Oh spirit true
We need you

       -Tommy Johnson

You don't have to put up with the put downs
With the stubborn
With the skittish
Pushing buttons

Thumb your nose, far be it
For me to cut to the chase
To the same boat
It's out of the way

On and on, so on, go on

Go cold turkey, chain reaction
Taste of your own medicine
Be upfront, ride the coattails
Pen pal, inadvertently

On and on, so on, go on

In the crossfire
Of burning crosses

Down the hatch
With crosshatching

       -Tommy Johnson

Hello
This is my doing
I guess you want me to answer for it
I will if I feel like it

Some say we all have the same sense of aimlessness
And we're preyed on by the leech behind the curtain

But I think we've gotten passed that
That could be my inner mantra mixed with ***** talking though

Turning my back to the confusion only to find that meaning has already found me
I look at the leaders, they only can make educated guesses
And we'll all know if they did the right thing years from now

I've never put my name in the hat for consideration
But I know I'll still get called when my turn comes

They can touch me and I can't deny what I've said or done
But they'll never lay a hand on the ideals and truths that are in each of us
I'm beyond grateful for knowing this

I may become old
I may become ill
I may starve and die but my creations will go on for eternity
Moments of pleasure
Moments of purity

I won't name names or cast stones
I won't chase paper or fall to my knees for guaranteed safety
That's why I'm here, legs crossed and mind silent
Spirit centered and flowing free

My adoration for the underdogs and stray cats
My respect for honesty and curiosity for experimentation
Have taught me invaluable lessons

Just give me a shot, I know I can make a difference
I can see both sides of the fence
I can see between the lines of supply and demand
I can see the blinks between life and death

There aren't many of us but there are more than before
Hopeful
Pushing for unity and looking for our face, our voice
We have our suspicions
But more than that we have love

Open your mind
Open your eyes
Your heart
Now arise

Wake up Moonchild
The dawn is drawing near
Rub the crust from the crevices of your eyes

The world won’t wait
Not for you

Don’t let it’s turning make you sick

This is your wakeup call

Your gonging alarm clock
Sitting beside your bed head

The race is about to begin!
Ready…set…GO!
There are no winners

There are no losers
Take your time

But run well

All in stride

All in time

There’s no finish line

You’re done when you wish

This poem indicates my scatergorized pattern of thought
We are a generation of gas masks and 3D glasses
Now we are a nation of bullet proof vests and USB drives
Grotesque regurgitated shallow sympathy
Universal imagery
I’m no type of Sadducee
In medicated revelry
Mood disorders and bipolarity
Inspiration
Found at the bottom of a decanter from Macedonia
Truculent truths and the opposition of common place thought
Andy why am I so indignant prey tell?
Because
I
Am
Drunk
Ha ha ha

Oh yes
In no way do I trust in
Adoration of phenomena’s
By no means would I sacrifice my spirit
Yet resting in your presence, is something benevolent
Like watching the day over take the night
Your auras the purest ecstasy
I realized I’ve been denied entrance to the garden of Eden for a millennia
I’ve been refused a seat at the celebration
And have been standing out looking in for eternity
Now I’m bowing on my knees to these ideals
But standing tall these are mine
And now I’m in a position allowing me to veer toward all these undeniable modifications I must make
This is my sanctuary
My Gethsnamy
Your voice, a gentle breeze
Your touch a calming heat
I can see I’ve been held back
From exploring new land
Noticing I have never even pondered the existence of what I see in front of me

On a humid mid-summer night
We traveled so far, yet so near
To a place of extravagant revelry
We had no idea what was to come that evening

It was an old-fashion party
Everything and everyone was illuminated
And why not?
It was the night of our celebration of freedom

Everyone was dancing and laughing
The sweat, the dilated pupils of the jubilant guests

I saw everything standing on the top of the wooden foothill

These stairs tested your level of intoxication
You could trip on them sober, they were so spread apart, numerous and inconsistent
And if you were drunk to the highest extent, you’d surely die trying to conquer them

We were swept away with a cold beer in each of our hands

A bearded man with a bottle of whiskey pored us shots
We downed them
And then another
In honor of the moment
And to the chance that our whiskey toting woman chaser would get laid that night

The evening was miraculous
Alcohol flowing like cool crystal rapids
*** being burned like drift wood on an unmapped deserted beach
And a vibe of comrodery between all in attendance

Digital pixilated snapshots to save this moment for nostalgic posterity

Beer pong seemed like an Olympic event

Kings
Flip cup
Thumper
Quarters

I took no part for I was too far gone by that point
I was a mere spectator
I was more interested in the various airborne angels floating in the ozone of ecstasy

I staggered up to each one individually trying to swipe a kiss or maybe even more

“Hi”
Kiss
SMACK

“Hi”
Kiss
SMACK

“Hi”
Kiss
SMACK

“Hi”
Kis­s
Kiss back

Whoa
Who
Was
This?

A familiar face

A gaping hole of pleasant surprise opened on my face
A look of false anger on hers appeared

SMACK!

We laughed and said hello then did a shot
***!

Then another

And talked
Our chuckles were reminiscent of an orchestral arrangement

The mother of our seemingly invisible host stood up and herded the whole party into a unanimous silent yield

“TEQUILA!” she shouted

And the whole backyard of sweaty, out of it, ***** young faces cheered and tapped the thumping music back on and formed a line

The bottles flew open like flimsy shutters during a maelstrom of wind

Limes and salt were being passed around like ten cent ******

After the last drop of tequila was guzzled down the party seemed to be swaying to and fro
And all of us had the same heavy eyed toothy smirk on us that says “yeah…I’m done”

The glorious angel that I had plucked from the heavens and I wandered to the corner of the commotion and perched ourselves in a high tree and kissed

And right below us two of our friends began to make indiscrete inebriated love to each other on a rusty swing set

Nice

But our passionate, fearless kiss blocked that out
It was so pure and shameless
Even though we both knew we were betraying the trust of our then insignificant others

The sound of bachata
The knocking of red solo cups  
Ping pong *****
And the ******* sounding voices of those trying to locate them
Were a loud soundtrack to our lustful voyage into each other’s comfort zone

We talked for what seemed like hours about how we were attracted to each other for so long
And how our relationships at the time left us unhappy and unfulfilled

We had a mindful understanding of one another
Neither of us had that before

But all of a sudden
The beer
The ***
The whiskey
And the tequila
All came back to say hello
Then goodbye as they flushed themselves out of my system and into our host’s garden

No one noticed
So I continued to relieve myself on the tomatoes and basil

The angel rubbed my back and let me go

And when it was done
She kissed me

Then and there I knew she was mine
And I was hers

Nothing mattered

Not my infinite bile projections
Not my unfit partner
Not my scarring past
Just her
Only her
Right there
Right then

We walked back to the epicenter of the soiree to see people leaving to go make their own myths of ****** endeavors
And the good friends sober enough to help their blacked out pals get home safely

So, my friend and I bid our goodbyes and thank yous to our friends and our host and their family and wobbled home
With a flaming heart and an empty stomach
Also a bladder full of bad decisions that I unleashed upon a parked dump truck on my journey home back to my bed

This dissertation, written by a double-jointed stunt-double
A sentient being
It must take one to know one
Because he found me immediately
We counted the tally marks
Crushed cornflakes on a Kashmir carpet  
We met a paraplegic paralegal  
Whose views we're, for lack of a better word "perpendicular"
We we're entranced by him
He spoke of integrity and the dangers of toxic relationships
And how the service of justice is only so-so
He was enmeshed by contractual obligations and deadlines
He left us with two last pieces of advice
"Talk to yourself often, for you'll surely know best for yourself"
"Forgive yourself, for forgiveness proves strength and admitting your wrongs shows humility"

The stunt-double wrote his paper on this
And I wrote this poem
This occurrence so rarefied yet malleable
      -Tommy Johnson

Praise is near
I can see it out of the corner of my eye
It comes with a new dawn
Nothing is built to last
Empires fall and civilizations crumble
All I can do is wash my hands and hope this fight can be won
Through all the sacrifice
It's been a long time coming
The odds are stacked out of favor
But I will push, fearless and uncompromised

This is what all of the writings in the bathroom stalls were philosophizing
It's endured the pain that every soul out there has known
You can feel it as your heart pounds
It lives in the things we can't let go of that we use to fuel our fury
It sleeps in our memories and cringe worthy heartbreaks  
You live and learn

From the beginning of time with human kind in the womb
To the end of all being whispering its final words
It guides the ones who refuse to follow the predetermined paths
The ones who never had a chance
It's in all of us, believe it to keep it alive

Never give up in the face of doubt or ignorance
You've made it this far, you've become stronger
Revisit the time when you were knocked down
Forgive all the letdowns and never forget your promise to yourself
That you'll establish your name with every ounce of strength

Strike up the flame that kills every shadow
That glows with unconditional love
That one that creates the passion for life

Blinded by iniquity
Being guided by unexplainable certitude
I can’t predict where the pieces will fall
But I will remember where they stood in the sky
They say I’m not at the point of grasping it all
Saying I’m a follower who needs to lead
I’m just attempting to find peace of mind
And a silent breeze of tranquility
I’ll still be there when the atmosphere fails
When widespread panicked screams break the barrier of sound
The cadence of the populations of hysterical cries match the racing beats of their hearts
I’ve tried hoisting my pressures and trouble over my head
And unburden myself of them
To put them in front of me instead
And dissect them all so I might comprehend
The hour glass goes against us
We have such ample time
So many paths we can walk
Full of laughs, pain and love, you take yours
I’ve found mine
 
      -Tommy Johnson

To carry some ones baggage on your back
Along with your own

Carry their baggage while at the same time attempting to reduce the weight of it

Carry it from one end of the Earth to the other

Carry their heart as well
And guard it as if it was yours

Carry on

The frumpy ragamuffin is discombobulated
And throws together an out fit
She dawns a fur coat in the middle of July
And begins to eat Alpo
She exfoliates her feet with a cheese grater

The top notch tuba player with a hook for a hand suffers from bed sores and an over active pituitary gland
I ask him what the difference is between reasons and excuses
He seems to be dancing around the question
But answers in a round about way
Implying that one is organic and natural while the other is genetically modified and man made

It's zero hour
As I look at the broken coo coo clocks
And the rainbow colored rocks

The ragamuffin presumptuously tells me that no one benefits from doubt  
Then calls my friend a bed wetter
And tells us she must go to feed her Venus flytraps
She storms back towards her laboratory

I wonder what she could possibly do in there
I'm dying to know
I'm on the edge of my seat
With one foot in the grave

The tuba player returns wrapped in an electric blanket
He tells us he's just suffered from sleep paralysis
"It's a dead zone, can't get a signal"
He goes on to say that blind faith is is a stepping stone to the truth
A game of William Tell, a stab in the dark
A round of Blind man's bluff with Marco Polo

Testing the waters is a building block of wisdom
And a clean bill of health is corner stone of a happy life
That you have to pay for out of pocket when playing the field
And we are the choices we've made incarnate

Now, the ragamuffin and the tuba player come once more
To tell us the mind is as incorruptible as the soul
But the body will bow to time and wither away
They then walk backwards, back to where ever they came

Fly you fool
People only get older
And poetry doesn't always need to rhyme
Life hands you lemons
But my tequila requires limes

What's the recipe for ice?
Can't see with 20/20 vision eyes
Fighting for a far off cause
And Santa Clause

Whatchamacallits
And compost heaps
Michigan to Denver
Face down in the mud
The baker helps me up
He's up at 2 AM
To hand out yesterdays left overs to the hobos and bums

Elliot Ness and Pat Garrett are on the trail
But The Iceman is watching patiently in his quiet suburb to emerge and bathe himself in their agony and his compensation

Hush puppies and truffle fries
Go-carts zooming through the race riots

Stomp
Tap
Snap
Clap
And sing along around the wishing well
Across the universe
Along the watchtower
With the brooding troubadour

The truth is ugly
Unless it sugarcoats itself with a false foundation and misleading mascara  

The burning bush spits out orders like ticker tape

I reckon its witchcraft
Either that
Or vertigo and dream piercing alarm clocks
Snooze

I AM VICE PRESIDENT AGNEW
Take it all away

The air is polluted with "love"
Or self-satisfaction disguised as love

More often than not
Almost always
I want you
Just you

I use geometry to calculate all these feelings
In summation, I'm insane but not as insane as you for loving me

Fractured my scaphoid
Now I'm paranoid of curbs and confrontation

I board the drunken ship
And circle Pangaea

We don't need a meteorologist to tell us the wind is with us, on our side
As we float on to the next one

My optometrist from Minnesota calls me and tells me my state of the art x-ray specs are in

I pulled something in my back, slipped a disk

Gentlemen, I take my leave  

I've been the liar
The actor
The martyr
The scribe
The one under the microscope hating every second
The one on the wanted poster

I can take your boos
I can guzzle your *****
Then clog your toilet
And walk away clean

Satan checks my blood pressure
Gives me ten milligrams of ****** and unleashes me upon the world

I burn the corks and crack the plates
I litter the empty bottles to leave them for the rest of you to recycle

Can you handle change?
Can you hold your own during the transformation?
This erratic evolution of the soul and person?

You've been in the honor society
Have you been inmate 107501?
Then what do you know?

You've been converted by the prizes in cereal boxes
Save the box tops and mail them in for an all expense paid trip to Crimea

Take this box cutter and do your worst

Your tongue licks away this candy shell of doubt that surrounds me
Until you reach the chewy center and free the surreal pleasure of sweetness

This place was new to her
Tendrils of envy
That had over ran her heart
Like spilled ink

The witch gobbles six Lorazepam
Just to survive the after noon
And trips from her botched stride of self righteousness

Her inaccuracy, in her mind is fact

Her sense of superiority over shadows any type of kindness that trickles out every now and then

Her flippant demeanor
Is known and is spoken of in fork tongued folklore

Her spells of insanity and depravity

Leaving all the passes in a stated of relentless unease

She trots the ash covered cobble ****** alleyways of the sullen slums
And the scornful ****** watch from rusted fire escapes
Blades in hand, back-pocket crucifix

They swoop down and surround her

She who caused the drought, the death of all live stock and infants’ demise

She falls to the ground

“May the truths of the universe diminish your incantations!”

She screams

They cover their ears and douse her with holy water

Her skin peels revealing her grotesque scaly red skin
Her yellow eyes gleam as its pupils dilate

“And with these blades of sanctuary we obliterate your being”

A typhoon of stabs follows
And a sacred jar is laid out
To capture her spirit
So it may never return

Harshly they fuss, brutally ascend
The living are merely the dead sleeping
With tired minds and dimming spirits

Whimsically panting as they pass an unmitigated declaration of disarrayed yet binding love

The living sing

They sing of old men and babies being born

The children cheering

Sermons of legitimate advice and reassuring reminders

Integrations of baptizing and rebirth
Of anointment and atonement

Conjugal wellness
Tales of glory

       -Tommy Johnson

I am a demon within the meek and fatally wounded
There is no innocent blood
All that is spilled is the red liquid of sin
Killing is no joy but a necessity
But all is well
For we are all mad after all
Let us dissect our insanity
Puncture the jugular of fear
Feral children’s muffled cries for mercy
We’re all in on it
Hypnotic insomnia
Open eyed moonlit wanderings
Spectating the impending doom is the ever diligent, all knowing entity
We’re all on the clock
The chopping block
Alone and startled
Exercising the eternal devourer of souls
The flesh of Beelzebub
The ones from under the bed, in the closet within your head
With the expressionless faces and evil eyes
The omnipotent offspring who has visions of the undead
Urging it to join
A noose, how romantic
Lovingly and creatively carving out your innards
Neglect was the cause for this uproar
And now no one’s safe
Next in line to be spat out of hell
Laughing
Laughing, whispering what little they can
Piecing together fragments of the soul
Brain bashing nightmares and legendary agony
Squealing sacrifices from burning webbed chambers of torture
The tearing your skin
Flowing of tears
Followed by the pursuit of death and its arrival
It’s here

Women who think like men
Men who act like children
Children who act like they're forty and think they're adults

I opened the box to find a crudely written IOU on the back of an expired Domino's coupon
We tried to assimilate the whole thing
My co-worker made a long distance phone call

It was to the peanut gallery
They told her she should have put another quarter in the parking meter so she could have avoided the fine

"Fredrick Brown"
Said my boss
That was the name he gave us when he made the reservation
Sounded like pseudonym the chiseler made up on the spot

But all he ate was side dishes
And a bag of corn nuts he brought in

Now the investigation was in full swing
The cops came
Asking questions
A description
A name
And what he ordered

"Burnt french fries, uncooked calamari, re fried beans, a salad with only brown lettuce, a can of cranberry sauce, a porterhouse steak medium rare with mushrooms and onions and a hot fudge sundae without any ice cream"

The officers perused the table and found that sundae and the steak were untouched
And the can of cranberry sauce was only half eaten

Days later a man was found screaming in the industrial park
Yelling obscenities and wearing a bald cap
While trying to listen to scratched skipping Cd's on his Walkman that had no batteries

It goes without saying the man was deranged

It was the very same man I waited on in the restaurant
Police only released one statement on the matter
They said when asked why he was in there in the first place
He told them he was looking for work to pay a bill the he owed to a local restaurant who had top notch service

His real name was Ercy ******

That name is now branded into my memory

It's those thoughts that keep you from sleeping

The memories that either make your mind fluctuate with cringe worthy sadness
Or the recollections that entice us to laugh to ourselves at four AM and wish we could go back

Sometimes it's the worrisome or eager anticipation of things to come  

Though nothing is guaranteed
Tomorrow will bring the sun

The memories of that time when someone got too drunk and was so far gone you couldn't understand a word they we're trying to say

And as fast as you could say "hey, you don't look so good"
A typhoon of ***** came shooting out at light speed onto the floor
Then the wall
Then the way to the toilet
Then on the toilet
Then eventually in the toilet
And more often than not, on themselves

The miscreant carried a bushel of poisoned apples
And gave the out to anyone who thought themselves a good judge of character
He exasperates the attentive ones who suffer from a hand to mouth problem
He discoursed immensely on the subject of turmeric and thickened plots  

The deathbed confessor's ghost implored the miscreant to cease his doings
And focus on a productive form and function
Preposterous as it sounds, this paranormal plea was second to none
For as soon as the spirit appeared the miscreant was filled with fear and immediately knocked off all his wayward ways

The miscreant became the lapdog for an elderly man who dispensed to him far out wisdom  
Using his silver tongue
He told him of his days as an escaped chain gang convict
Running across the country
Pilfering pies from unsuspecting windowsills
"It was wrong!" the old man said while hitting the miscreant with a newspaper for 1911
"Now, fetch me some lunch"
"Bring me one of those apples, and one for yourself"

One day Frick when to the place to buy some stuff
While Frack stayed in the area to do some things
Frack tossed out some junk
He used the the whatchamacallit to clean the thingamajig
Pick up the odds and ends
And he scrubbed a doodad with the thingamabob


Frick purchesed some knickknacks and bric-a-brac
A few sundries
A couple of tchotkes and trinkets
Some whatnot
A gizmo
A gadget
And more miscellaneous paraphernalia

When Frick got home Frack asked "What'd you buy?"
Frick said " Oh, this and that" "What'd you do all day?"
Frack said "Just a hodgepodge of etcetera, etcetera"
       -Tommy Johnson

The waters stagnant
The wind won’t blow
National laryngitis
And no one knows

And no one sees
Our generations so empty
Were apathetic
So unoriginal and bleak

We haven’t got a voice
We haven’t got a face
Where’s the infinity?
Come on evolution pick up the pace

Where’s the great poets?
Where’s the philosophers?
Abstract artists
All I see are pretentious mindless shoppers

We are the future
We are tomorrow
So let us all bring light
And forego the sorrow

No pensions
Just tension
No security
Conformity

They don’t care
They don’t see
They want what’s now
And what’s trendy

Fakes and phonies they surround me
Actors leading false lives
How oh how will
Our generation survive?

It's sad to say this
We live under umbrella terms
On some kind of spectrum
Abiding by Murphy's law
Being read our Miranda rights
Numbers on a scatter plot
In other words it's an open invitation
For one trick ponies
To sideswipe us
Knock us for a loop
Knocking us down a few pegs
Making us a laughing stock
Sieg heil the zeitgeist
Study the hermit's manifesto
It speaks of finicky beggars
And groveling choosers
Honor slayings
Oscar-worthy faked *******
First rate blood baths
Second rate novelty acts
Bending over backwards
And knee **** reactions
Cooking up something abominable
Having it hit the fan
To ensnare and entrap all who are near
Hot off the knock-off stenograph
Tack on another ten thousand years
In other news...
       -Tommy Johnson

The spitting image
Was just in spitting distance
When she pricked herself in the spindle
And fell into spinet
Then ended up in the hospital on Guerrero street

The two dunderheads
Compared biceps
Engaged in a ******* contest
Their **** was red, forgot they had eaten beets
Now they're on their way to the hospital on Guerrero street

The embezzling imbecile
Who invented mystery meat
Was selling cowlicks at the concession stand
He had a heart attack when a horse voiced mulatto paid him in coins with no cash value
Now he's on a pram in the hospital on Guerrero street

The improviser had a bright idea
And epiphany
There was a light bulb above his head
But he was taken by the under tow and got water logged
Now he's held up in the hospital on Guerrero street

The beggar women ******* from a rusty spigot
Who studied the doctrine but didn't read the document or get the memo
That she was due for a mammogram, she was distressed
She could barely make ends meet
So now she brings he tin can of pennies with her to the hospital on Guerrero street

Amidst the unfortunate
Amongst the idiots
There is me, the one who got his hand stuck in peanut jar
Sitting in the waiting room damning myself in the hospital on Guerrero street

Way out in its own oasis
Its very own brand of homeostasis
Passed the jarred ideas and whacked out mazes
Is a spot

Full of unknown faces
Hailing from unknown places
Look at it, fall out with out protracted traces
Vacant lot

Then let's settle the score
What is your original face before your mom and dad were born?
Why not start over with a clean slate, as the smell of new dawns pervade
I forgot to eat

Maybe if you gave the derelict half a chance
And looked at things from the ambivert's stance
People wouldn't notice your ego's protuberance
Upstaged by an under study

Pull the button, turn the lever, push the switch and flip the ****
Predicate the incendiary infraction
Reductio ad absurdum
Lip service provides scrutiny

We've been normalized, what the recipe for ice?
We're full of emptiness, nothing exists
No-thing, not a thing does not exist
Life is deathless

I'm looking for multifaceted individuals
To fix something that's irreparable  
An eerie parable, something terrible
My future's told by flash cards

I put my head between my knees
Just wipe my memory
Leave me at the bottom of the sea
Leave my dignity to discard

When two separate divisions are over lapping
What's the sound of one hand clapping?
Comparing then and now every now and then
Again, never will I say"never again"

       -Tommy Johnson

Throw me out of a moving car
After a long night at the bar, come on
Dangle myself out a speeding car
Death is near but I’m too far gone

Let’s have a good time
We can never die
Come on

Get me in to the car
To the moon and past the stars
Come on
Pull away in a stolen car
I forget how did this all start?

Go for a joy ride
This is the good life come on

Once upon a time
Under the moonlight
On a summers night
She was being real shy
And then she took a bite

And her eyes met mine
Were skating on thin ice
We higher than a kite
No such thing as a good bye

Let’s go for a ride
It’s a joy ride
Let’s enjoy tonight
Like it’s the end of our lives
Come on

Everyone sacrificed and worshiped
The multi-purpose portable CPU they purchased
They signed away their lives in cursive
For the cyber sermon's service
And the verses remained wordless
In their distracted eyes they were worthless
And they were shut out into the blackness

I asked, "Why would you let it die?"
I only received uninterested replies
And I saw the truths of the world be denied
By pixelated advertisements and the trendy enterprise
And the masters of war formulate their alibis
While our breaths were taken by the polluted skies
As they became the empyrean of blackness

In the darkness I could hear
A sound so loud and clear
It said, "See no evil here"
"Speak no evil my people dear"
"Hear no evil, the light is near"
But the people only jeered
Then the sound was covered in blackness

In my nightmares there it is
The dark, dismal bleakness
The poems and songs where they should have listened
The times and places that they didn't
The insightful message goes unnoticed
I go weeks sleepless to avoid the terror that it's all hopeless
As my mind fades into blackness

Good bye light, I know you well
And I guess only time can tell
When you will come back and break the spell
Of callus, uncaring sleeper cells
I'll be here with my thoughts until
You return and I can ring the bells
And expel this time of blackness

A sob story
About empty toilet paper rolls
And toilet seats being left up

Living nine lives
In a dog eat dog world
Fighting hunger tooth to nail

You look ravishing
I am famished and undeserving

Turning your home into a ***** house
Your conscience has signed off
It bailed

Cool kids and wild cards
Getting off Scott free

Life ends
When the parents come home

Is life imitating art or is art imitating life?
Eventually there will be nothing left to hide
Save your sorrys  
It's time for me to cool your mind and tell you it's all alright
We're the pop-up's on your phone screen
Sending you little blurbs
Memes are funny because they're true
At least to you
You're the hypochondriacs
Who convinced yourselves you need to be healed
With a numbness cure by posts that make you feel

There will be a new one, if you like the last
Is life imitating art or is art imitating life?
Eventually there will be no where left to hide
Save your sorrys  
It's time for me to cool your mind and tell you it's all alright
This is a beat generation
But with less respect but way more dope
The question is "why should I?"
Our answer is always "I don't know"
We're yesterdays news and tomorrows punchline
Never even had chance
Self-entitlement won't ease the situation
Of our need for instant gratification

I need a drink in my system to take off the edge
I need a lie to make me feel safe
I have an axe in my skull splitting my brain
Is it me or the world who's insane?
Upload, like, follow
Reblog, comment, unfollow
What's hot is hot now but not tomorrow
Will your words hold up or drop out?
       -Tommy Johnson

We rode white lightning across state lines
To a little town in the mountains over the tainted river
Where the entire strip is full of bars
Buzzing barflys hoping from tavern to tavern

It was mid day in broad daylight
We found the place
A hole in the wall
You would only be able find it if you were actually looking

Solvent Reflections
It was called

We went down the stairs, passed the wooden Native American at the front entrance

A marvelous collection of glass implements
Colorful fabrics and alluring smells

A man came out from behind a beaded curtain
Eyes glazed and a zonked out look on his face

"Right this way"
He showed us the assortment of extracts    

We chose the middle way
Purchased twenty scented sticks

Descended from the mountain
To a sketchy out post

We fought a pool shark
While waiting for the evening to come

Our friends had come out to play with us
To the market for brightly colored cans of caffeine and ethanol

Torches lit and music playing
We sat in a circle

We opened the little brown vile
Releasing the leaves of deeper knowledge

We put in the vessel of self-exploration
Put fire to it and inhaled

Immediately she ran to the highest point to admire the art the moon and stars had fashioned on the black and blue firmament

His head became a cardboard box
And his body began to look like wicker

I was somewhere between an animated reality
And a three dimensional fantasy

My friend went on a cruise upon a swaying pirate ship
And found his face under the word "fabulous" on every single page of his dictionary
Then saw himself in a magical grassland  


But then we stopped and stood in awe
Of the mighty Cricket Lord

Within ten minutes it came to an end
Our voices hoarse from laughter

Lets go again

She thought the van was her tomb
Thought she’d see the end inevitable soon
Fears brought tears then she was consumed
Something began to grow inside her womb

So let’s start
They started talking and quickly became friends
It wasn’t smart
Because he took her innocents
There she lay
Defiled and ******, tell me is this the end?

And she carried me
And took care of me
And then buried me with her shame

So what do I do?
**** it in the emergency room
Lose it in a confessional booth
Didn’t want to give it up to you
Wasn’t one life you ruined but two

It began as a coffee date
Turned into a newsworthy ****
Driven by rejection and pent up hate
It was so brutal that it made the front page

And her cries were fallen on deaf ears
Followed her the rest of her years
Plunged into her deepest darkest fears
No pity only sneers

And she carried me
And took care of me
And then buried me with her shame

So what do I do?
**** it in the emergency room
Lose it in a confessional booth
Didn’t want to give it up to you
Wasn’t one life you ruined but two

She wrote her final chapter
She looked right into me
She looked at the gun in her hand
It seemed so friendly

And with the gun in hand
She put it to my head
She shut her blood shot eyes
And said her final goodbyes
And pulled the trigger
Mother?

And she carried me
And took care of me
And then buried me with her shame

So what do I do?
**** it in the emergency room
Lose it in a confessional booth
Didn’t want to give it up to you
Wasn’t one life she took but two

Last thing I remember, was that drastic times called for drastic measures
She was out of town
He was out of order
The amalgamation of ***** little secrets and the insecurities I picked at
Which put me between Scylla and Charybdis
Urging me to make Hobson's choice
Tie up loose ends
Went to the bazaar
To pick up an ambigram of the word "Psalms"
And mirror image of the word "Proverbs"
Buyer beware
We speak in  strange slanguage here
So get on with it
Share sugar
Sniff out your own kind
Only time can tell
Tell time to hold up
Bank on tomorrow
On Eastern/ Pacific/ Mountain time
Local and global
Try to save face
Not aimed at any anyone specific
If you're wearing the shoe, you must fit it
Overbearing
I'm painted as a neer do well
  
     -Tommy Johnson

It's 8:00 and we have our whole lives ahead of us
Life is silly
I suppose this is who I am for the time being, it will pass
As everything does
So judge away, I'll play the defendant
Bang your gavel and give me the sentence
It's only a life time
It won't mean a thing in your eyes
There's you , then there's me
That's just it
That's all we need to know
To each their own
The quietness, silent only because they cannot scream for help forever
I think the nitroglycerin worsened my cough
Mother's face has been shot off
But father doesn't cry
His crippling soft lies
So I take my over stuffed overnight bag and leave
Eons later, The Wolf, The Coyote and The Raven come
And then all was well in the western hemisphere
All fires dissipated and they all began to rebuild, this time stronger than before
       -Tommy Johnson

Search deep and you’ll know that I still care
And that never left
I’ve never been anywhere but beside you

I can sense your bottled up misery
And you can recall the promise I made
That I will always remain here

I wish I could reverse the cascading rapids of time
And restore all the euphoric essence of the past
But the winds of life push forward
And that’s nothing to fear
The serrated ways you cope
Self mutilation
Leaving scars that remind you of what caused you to create them in the first place
I’ll stay awake for a millennium
Until my eyes fall out
Just to make sure that yours aren’t flooded with tears
And your breath is uncatchable
With an attentive ear
And open arms
I’m there to find a way with you
Through all of this
When conversing with me is the last thing you want to do
And you’ve pushed me away again
I’ll still reside in the space between your feelings of rejection and your discouraging thoughts
Behind you, beside you all the way

I think the clock is off now
Conversations getting soft now

Thank you for talking to me
Why did you I don’t know
I got nowhere to be
Got nowhere to go

I could sit all day
At this table
All alone
Looking at you
Ill leaving in awhile baby
Nothing else matters but right now

Your words of hysteria
Verbal cafeteria
Speak of necrophilia
Learning new things
Making my head spin

I could sit all day
At this table
All alone
Looking at you
Ill leaving in awhile baby
Nothing else matters but right now

Your eyes engage me
Your opinions enrage me
Your insults don’t phase me
Let’s just share a laugh
Make these moments last

I could sit all day
At this table
All alone
Looking at you
Ill leaving in awhile baby
Nothing else matters but right now

He was in a cold sweat during a heatwave
She had hot flashes during a cold snap
Fever blisters, heat blisters
Frost bite and heat stroke
Take a cold shower together
Then put on your street clothes
Feast your eyes
Set your sights
Impeccably punctual

The rag tag constituents
*** rush the 'ol drawing board for bragging rights
A jail break in the making
Drinking rat tails at last call
Scarfing down pickled pigs feet
It'***** or miss
It's a leap year

Locking horns with one another
Ornery
Putting forth an esteemed ultimatum
Swing and a miss
Hock your watch
And mind the store
Don't ask don't tell
It's a work in progress

    -Tommy Johnson

Consumed by the flames
By the flames

Start the fire, I need you to feel this
As high as it can go, I need to feel it
Light the fire, you want me to feel this
We want to see how high we can go
We want to be consumed by the flames

Take a risk, make a wish
Until then, stay cool
After this, you will never be the same

This isn't right, I close my eyes
Prepare myself for the falling sky
I caused so much harm, I don't know why
I've had my lows, I had my highs
I did my best, now I return
With a clean slate and a lesson learned
I've been mocked, betrayed and scorned
But now I know everything can burn

Consumed by the flames
Take aim
Take blame
Play games
Cause pain
Call names
Make claims

Suppressing feelings, I'm going numb
I can't eat, sleep or see where your coming from
I try to excite myself, lust and near death's never help
I accept death and **** life and the hand I'm dealt
I've ignored the truth, avoided responsibility
But it's in the back of my mind kicking constantly
Now it's time do pay my do's I'm through with tries
I refuse to come back with a consolation prize

Consumed by the flames
Be tamed
Break chains
Disclaim
Proclaim
Insane
No shame

Turn it up, let them watch
Turn me out, I can't be stopped

Nowhere else to go, carrying my woes
Turning into someone I don't even know
Just paying back everything I owe
I've come this far, so

I've come this far

Let the flames consume me
In vain
Fast lane
Life's strain
Constrain
Left brain
Profane

I should have listened
But hear me now