The Benchwarmer with peeled eyes and a chip on his shoulder
Was all ears but under the weather

The Pick of the Litter told him to hold his horses and that he could not pass go to collect two hundred dollars

Bob his Uncle was down in the dumps that day
And ***** his Aunt's eyes were bigger than her stomach
But she had a punchline so funny it would rock your socks off then proceed to knock them off  even though they fit like a glove

But somewhere in the crowd there we're various whisperers and a soothsayer who knew The Benchwarmer would win it big single-handedly that day

And they all shouted from the stands

"You got a good head on your shoulders, you little pain in the ***!"