hey dad
i knew talking to you was pointless
cause you still think you were right.

you don't wanna know my hurt.
you don't want to understand the pain and agony in my head, in my heart because you never cared enough to ask.
you never even tried to be there.
none of you did.

where were you when the leaves fell off the trees like the tears from my eyes in the cold winter air as you smoked away your problems.
as you smoked away me.
one puff more as i begged you to stop, but of course you didn't.
you never listened to me anyways.

threaten to put your hands on me.
you always seemed to fix your problems with drugs and violence.
every excuse is a new step towards the breaking point.
the breaking point is what i'm scared of.

its like every hurtful word is another blade on my skin.
crimson blood puddles flowing out of every crack you left in me.
if my own father left me.. how am i supposed to trust that no one else will?

it seems i cant be happy.
whenever it gets better, i fall back down into the dark.
broken even more as i smack down at the bottom of the pit.
in my
𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓭.
𝓮𝓶𝓹𝓽𝔂.
𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓭.
left alone
again

you scorched the burning hate in my soul for anyone like you.
you showed me that no one can change.
not even after my 14 years of life, have you changed.

i hope you feel your empty soul ache as you see me finally happy that i let you go.

i hope you break as you hold the little necklace i held so dear to me.

i hope you feel your heart rot as your kids go on to live their lives without you.

i hope you are happy.



:)

I still feel your presence
although barley an essence
and one day I'll forget
will be the day I regret
and you will simply be
GONE

I was so comfortable with the long winter I created inside me
so comfortable as I started feeling warmth from all the ice surrounding me