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Artyprose Oct 2017
It only occurred to me on
the 15th day of August,
nine months after we left
things to dishevelment,
that my heart is still
in love with her
like nothing tragic
happened.
Artyprose Oct 2017
I could feel the heat
of her touches like
I’m being glued to the sun.
She’s that too much;
too delicate but warm
As my fingertips linger to
all the places she allowed me
I kissed her like she’s water
Like I’m comforted by the sea
I crave more of her soul
and sweet murmur of please
between my mouth, she pushed me
To go home, to go very deep
I wander through her spirit
While our hands fit perfectly
I lift her up, she bury me,
I gave her all my love
I let them free.
Artyprose Oct 2017
The scars I tried to bury
are now floating
between my ribs
trying to **** all the blood
that runs through my heart;
that flows to my hands
that she used to hold
and loved.

My visions became narrow
pointing to the future where
I am alone and she’s happy.
Then slowly, there are tears
in my eyes that no muscle
in my system could lift back.

I miss her so bad; so much
I’ll dive to hell and
search in heaven.
I’ll fly to the milky way
to plead and pray
that if she’s not for me
then I am now willing
to give myself to flames.

I miss her so bad
I’ll do anything
to take her back,
I’ll do everything
for her not to leave.
Artyprose Oct 2017
This earthly life
is too much for me.
I need to go home,
to the constellations;
Where I share
with the stars,
the same destiny.
Artyprose Oct 2017
You’re no 
stranger anymore
Let me walk you
From that jaded cold night
when we talked to
all the stars in the sky
about the secrets we hide


And you didn’t even try
when the spark ignite
the trapped happiness
between my eyes
when you said to me
I love doing this with you
In all kindness; no lies.

So if you like saving me
then where are you now?
When will we do it again
Because you did, somehow,
left me waiting and shaken
from those questions and replies
You left me hanging, half broken,
wondering why, it’s too dark outside
but we are glowing now
Second part
Artyprose Oct 2017
Like the falling star,
out of the blue
and you, Out of the dark
Showed me I’m not really
completely falling apart

Like the stars,
you talked to me
Showering me with
kindness and vulnerabilty
Keeping me company
from my wavering sanity
and starting anxiety

Like the moon, it feels like
I knew who you are
but you’re a stranger afar
from the simple world
I created so far

Would you come again
like you did before?
would you show me again
How it’s easy to fall
and crawl and feel alive
Like how you patched
the constellation for me
on that lonely autumn night.
First part
Artyprose Oct 2017
After the light passed through
the windows of my soul
After the moon shine so bright
on that lonely autumn night
After the talks, the sharing,
the small moments of truths
and smiles so genuine

You and I, even if we hide
Even if the world put a
great distance between us
for so many times,
You and I, We are possible.

And this is not the end,
Because every moment that
seemed too charcoal to see
The sun rises for new beginnings
No to goodbyes, I’ll see you again,
A new chapter to begin with you,
for us to start again.
Last part
Artyprose Oct 2017
My shoes echoes in the room
welcoming my lonely presence
As I escaped the heavy storm
but there’s no way I couldn’t
be soaked with her absence

Remembering five years ago
I’m blessed with her appearance
sipping coffee in the entrance
of our so called little house
No problems, no hindrance

Memories like this, pierce my chest
withstanding the money and
acquaintances I acquired
from that day she left my side

I can feel now, how heavy it is
under my wet coat, there’s just me
having the best things but not her kiss
Not her love that I desperately miss

If only I realised her weight in my life
How being this light is not alright
I should’ve not given up the sight
of her smile for this nostalgic weather
I wish, I haven’t still lost her forever
Artyprose Oct 2017
I see no poetry in her eyes
I see me, and betrayal and lies
I see the emotions she tries to hide
While it pours like the rain outside

I reached out to lessen the tears
But I felt her walls up, as I cried
This is when my mistakes and fears
Bite me with guilt that I can’t survive

Can you please tell her this:
You know my weakness eats me alive
And I am a coward who doesn’t fight;
who refuses when you want a hug so tight

I should have cherished you like
You’re my life preserver, you own my life
But I hurt you like the lightning strike
I never learned how to make you alright

What I really wanna say is I am sorry
the memories slice my heart like a knife
I am sorry, I’m so ungrateful; awful
I left you all on your own that night.
Artyprose Oct 2017
The october breeze of the wind
fell in love with the afternoon light
materialising the things with shadows
clinging to be seen in my sight
Smoking and remembering
those moments we seemed bright
in this cold and lonely hour
of my hopelessly messy life.
I remember you said
I will never be alright
I walk slowly into the edge
As I confessed before I took flight
I didn’t look well, my eyes swell
and I silently cried
**** again, for the last time
you are definitely right.
Artyprose Oct 2017
I never regretted loving you
In fact, I blame myself
For not loving you more
For not flooding you with butterflies
For not making a spark
in your earthly colored eyes
For not hugging your pain and flaws
For not being there
when your skin need me the most
I blame myself
For not being the perfect match
That I didn’t make it literally
After I said I love you so much.
Artyprose Oct 2017
September played out in front of me
with the rose colored sky under
the glistening shade of blue
as the cold water wash my feet
I meet the ground, settling for a good
few hours before the sky introduce
the every faintly glowing little lights
I see skyscrapers but not a shadow of you
as my hand gets a handful of sand
that falls immediately right after
I caged them from my fingers
that doesn’t care about hurting anymore
I let them go,
like how you let me go.
Artyprose Oct 2017
As the smoke flowed gracefully
through my tongue, for a minute,
I don’t want to think about her.
As I let out the smoke go
and share the weightless
absence of her scent in my room,
the pang of grief found its way
to terminate my lungs
and bite the only sign that could
metaphysically tell I am here,
unmoved but that’s because
I restrained myself to
while trying to dodge the mirror
that shows the eyes of the man
she once held closer to her world
only to be shattered by the same person
who is now in the middle of
torturing his lungs to run towards
to where she is now.
I almost run to where she is now
because my mind does, my heart does
along with my tears, they run
but the flashbacks shoved them hard
to the chair, she once occupied
while staring at me unhappily
And I felt so helpless for the first time
when I told her that it’s okay,
I want her to be happy.
Even if happy means – somewhere else,
someone else, not me.
Artyprose Oct 2017
The girl I’m praying for
Is somewhere being hurt
by some guy she thought
will be her forever
But calm down, love
It’s not yet over
Someday, I’ll meet you
and we’ll make it together
Artyprose Oct 2017
I’m not a fan of those little lights.
I never talked to them about her.
They never calmed my heart.
They never helped me out.
Like tonight, they just watched us
move to separate roads without
looking at each other back.
Even the moonlight *****
for lighting my way to wherever
she will never show up.
Ahh, but why did they do that anyway,
while I was looking at her
they glowed her face
leaving me breathless and speechless
like that time she wore that white dress.
My heart sank, regretting
why I’m walking away.
So much for not believing
with these stars, I might never
forget this day;
how much I love her but
I am not enough for her to stay.
Artyprose Oct 2017
The last time I spoke
with deep sincerity
was when I told her
I’ll never ever leave
Now, I’m on the subway
waiting for the train
to take me away
from the harsh reality
Because it’s been
so long, perhaps a
decade already
when I used those words
without clear clarity.
Artyprose Oct 2017
Don’t tell me I’m not trying

to stop thinking about her

Because I did, in every fiber 

of my sentimental being

but forgetting her is something

not therapeutic for my soul

and my heart is a martyr

that I cannot really control.
Artyprose Oct 2017
She’s the angel
I never asked for
But here she is anyway.
Being so effortlessly angelic
Making me believe love
was never been tragic
And while my mortal life
is firmly stock on earth
Her soul is so perfect
Like she’s a magic hurled
by the hidden paradise
and the mysterious universe.
Artyprose Oct 2017
Having a broken heart is,
no matter how many words you write
or how it weighs you down at night,
no matter how hard you cry
And how persistently you try,
Once the person decided a future
Without you in it, in the end
There’s no way you could go back
from being the loved one again.

— The End —