Do these lovely grounds permit me
Of my present presence, like thistle
Be unwanted and undaunted

Taken greatly in arbored orchard
May my refuge grow demure
Taken often by lapping banks
May my breath grow slow and slight

By those tentacline roots
Those heightened and lengthy articles
May that shade and slanted sallow
Blanket lightly my discomfort

Ne’er is there such wondrous sedation
Then this lilting life, by waterside
And no bile ink nor vitriol
May ever dissipate this lovely truth

Oh so lovely
To be like the sky
An endless view
Of the Red Flower

And with no subtle look
Or visible sign
You are a truest
Red Flower

A signal or call
For my sky
And the garden
That has yet to replace
My Red Flower

I miss you and it makes me sick
When I think of your face
All I think about is all the love
And all the time we waste

Now I haven't heard in quite some time
If you are doing fine
All I know is in the end my dear
You never will be mine

I've made mistakes and blacked out
Every time I'm coming to
My one only regret my dear
Is never telling you

I'm sad just like the other kids
So naturally to cope
I turn to medication
or I turn to ashy smoke

Would it numb the pain or keep it
Maybe if I didn't know
Then after one or two
Then I would see the fake aglow

But alas I have no drugs now
And it's because I have no friends
So it seems the lonely artist's life
Will never truly end

Heavy head
Heavy heart
I did the thing
I said I'd do from the start

I didn't chicken out
I committed
I breathed

I breathed in relief
For now I know I can
I'm free because I don't care
It's a liberating feeling
To prove it

I breath in
The stench of confidence
Of sleepy gratitude
That I did it

I tried
I succeeded
And I'll do it again.

The door just creaked a little
Yes I swear I heard a noise
The kettle it is hissing
And the black cat it is poised

To take action if some hooded thing
Intrudes upon the house
And if there is a shadow
Try to think there is a spouse

You can’t convince yourself completely
You know you heard a call
But look around, and you will see
There’s no one in the hall.

And now it's over
The hours count down
No more water
No more home
No more free
No more crown

Just a desk and some work
Just a phone and a girl
Just a sunset sad boy
Loving the world

Or hating
Hate the people
Hate emotions
Hate the power
That the feeling he's knowing
Is the encroaching by the hour

It's surreal enough to laugh
And it's absurd that he might cry
And the sunset summer kid goes to wipe away his eye

His girl, his work, and his hope.
Begins now.
So do.
Or die.

With a friend
Or two
He makes a last stand

A last word
On a fleeting land

Tell him it's over
He'll hold on tighter
So he's grasping the air
Is that a lighter?

The final stand
Of numb dejection
Well guess what
He succumbs

The story goes on.

He's going to try
He's gone without
For a year now

There is no die
There is no doubt
It's hard not to see how,

He won't succeed
His confidence agreed
So he wants to ask
Her hand in love

A safety pin hangs
In his closet
An ungiven gift
Waiting for the night
That lovely night
When he knows
That he'll love again.

However there is an awful interjection
Specially or required re-inspection
He has to leave The Room
His room
And he breaks
Attacks riddle a weaker boy
And he thinks fondly of summers prior

He recalls a world free of those anxieties
Could you imagine?
He thinks of this now with a sense,
Of crippling disassociation

****
The feeling is fading
He doesn't want that feeling to fade
That would mean admitting defeat
That would mean it never really mattered
Did it matter?

Who does he look to
With a sense of safety
Her and her words
Because she feels like quiet

Like sinking
In a good way

Like Icarus
In that one picture

She makes him feel
Like the sun
Like the deep

She is the blue
And the red
And she makes him
Feel better

But he worries
If she can make him
Feel better
She might leave
Then what will he feel?

Fun
Eyes swelling
Sparkling in that light

Fiery burns
Cake the bodies
Of a three certain boys

He's purely happy
Or is he just sad
Oh what does it matter

The lights are
So **** bright.

Friend can be friends
Even if the others
Are *******
Because aren't we all
*******
Or maybe that's flawed reasoning
Because he knows they're not good

But like a drug, they're fun
To be proud
But does he sacrifice fun?

His standards aren't low
But such is his mind
That he can reason his way
Out of guilt

A burning sun sets over conflict
And he reasons
He'll stay a moment longer.

The Summer Kid
Finding love
Not only in person

He's found passion
and promise
In the work he has written

He's got a new sense of purpose
In the work he's assigned
And he knows how to breathe
Out the loveliest lines
Of poetry
and creation
Lovely little escapes
Taking his mind off the vast and empty
Forlorn real estate

Two out of three
He's found love
He's found a purpose
And now
He's missing the final part
He can't know
What he's found.

Cloud over coverage
Above that peaceful
World of hate

The roaring of an engine
And whirring brain
Mind watching clouds go by

Watching day
Fade into twilight
Into darkness
And those clouds
Love to disappear
In the white light
Of an airport.

Goes up North
To see those
Who haven't seen
The change he's made

This people who annually
Lose sight of the new
And innovative bricks
He's laid

Riding sunset sidecar
Window blasting melodies
I can't tell if he likes it

He's keeping a facade
For he won't be seen
For another year
So fake a veneer
Just so life seems less
Of a cluster

If he leaves he'll leave
As a boy with the words of a "man"

I think I understand now
Why the youth are doing drugs
Did not understand before
But now I've caught that awful bug

Yes I'd really rather be
Some different form or kind
Or it is genuinely possible
I want out of my mind

But either way I seem to get it now
The hype lives strong and true
I would rather be on drugs my dear
Than feel so ******* blue

Wrote a whole **** collection
Day before the ending
And looking back on recollections
I feel myself sending
A prayer
Into the sky
A brief and utter plea
To the world that I cry
And fly above

Clipped wings surrounding
A scared little kid
Who's looking for some fun
In the summer with the others
But the children are dead eyed
With slack jaws
Unmotivated in the head

So he writes a collection
The day prior to freedom's loss
All those cries and prayers
Find their way and toss
A coin down a well for a lovely embrace
As a Summer Kid looks off
Searching for space.

Oh wondrous world
Oh hell does it burn
This youth they are trying
But we won’t let them learn

They are dangerous souls
With psychotic young minds
That they’d ever attempt
To see through, we are blind.

We must put them away
For they don’t knowing the meaning
So we keep on abusing
Attacking, demeaning

To change all the world
It’s a laughable matter
For they cannot do it
It’s all just their chatter

So keep them locked up
Yes we’ll keep them entwined
They are all hopeful
Young dangerous minds.

First and foremost
Our story starts with a love
A twinkling kind of talking
Not in mourning, nor dove
He's a lonely boy reeling
From a year without feeling
And she just wanted a fling
Without a body for being
But they kept talking
All their passions and their dreams and their thoughts
He asked her questions
She replied with lessons loveliest taught
Took her hand, held it close
For it has shone on the light
Take her with him, he's sinking
And her wings will take flight.

I was confronted last night
Amidst my dreams
Assaulted by thoughts
That dwell at the seams

Of hastily stated
Promising thoughts
Alas, proved the dream
Such promises false

For I don't have the courage
Not then and nor now
Thank goodness my dreams
They showed me just how

Is she good enough?
There is some doubt
Its all okay then
Just toss her out

Try it again
For there is no rush
Her face was alright
But her cheeks were too flushed

So just start anew
Remake all the work
It is not quite Art
But it has it’s perks

Too pretty a sum
To make up it’s face
But just think, so soon
She’ll be the new race

That now carries on
The family name
Design it right now
It’s all just a game

Welcome to the dead end club
A long time has gone by
You were out and living
On your own
And we were waiting.
Why?
Because you're a member
A forever member
And a member cannot go and leave

The dead end club is a never said thing
Where anxiety is heavy and breathes.
The dead end club is a place that you come
When there's no one else left to confide in
So the dead end club lets you
And hears you
And sees you
Gives you a good place to survive in.

I get attached too easily
Leaves me with a sour feel
A stomach full
Of rotting wine
A mind all full of tears

It's been far too long
Since I wrote my heart
Out bleeding in blue ink
But minutes pass
My heart aches
And deeper does my love
sink.

Good afternoon
It's lonely.
The evening's arrived
But the bitter darkened
Loneliness had only just begun

How I wish I had a friend
Or love.
Or just someone to confide in
Because sitting lonely in the night
Is no place to unwind in

Maybe one day
I'll be me
And I won't feel dejected
But for now
Myself, is horribly
Afraid

Don't isolate yourself
Even when the world wants you to
Hate yourself

Go out and have a good time
With all of your friends
That was silly of you
To assume that I've got them

Guess I might be getting into my head
But then again
All I want is to end
This

Miserable feeling
I'm not alone if I
Just keep on going.

I can't quite tell
If it all was true
Maybe the only hint
I'll ever get
Is I can't stop thinking about you
And I wonder
If you think of me too
I doubt it.
And that honestly scares me
Was it a firework?
Or a wildfire?
A fourth of July?
Or a lifetime?
I swear I won't forget
I hope you'll still remember
Me.

I'm standing at the edge
I could be great
I know it...
But I'm suffering in silence
Sleeping in a hotel
That's foreign to me
And wondering...
Knowing
That the world will know me
But I can't do this
Or that
I can't be me
Without looks
Because it feels like they hate me
For knowing
I can do something
And I'm just hoping I can hold on.

I love feeling dizzy
But I'd love to get high
Sometime
Maybe next week
Meet me in the park
Sometime
But wait, when?
No
Maybe I just got out of line
Peace out with the lies
Blood red in the water like wine
Ice cold on my nose
Think I might have broke it
No it's just the feeling
Ecstasy I know it.

I'll retreat inside my mind
To search the bits
That you left behind
Social suicide
To look through what you left behind

3 perfume bottles
Got the foulest aroma
Think the feeling's over
If I get high maybe then I'll be sober
Then the are bottles pouring
But they're flowing over

Used to be younger
When life was living
Back when food had taste,
It's giving off horrible vibes of life
As realists
It's getting chilling

If I smile and laugh
Then there's a chance
I'll never come out of this lovesick trance
You hold your heart
And I'll hold mine
Who says we both have to be fine

We can both be damaged
We can both be true
One thing I know is that I'm whole
When I'm with you

So as I search my mind
For pieces of your broken heart
It's scattered across the pages
Of my loveless soul.

I don't forget
I'm sorry
If I could let go
Like balloons
I would
I really would
But you mean so much
You changed my world
I love that
Maybe I don't love you
I love how you changed me
You've become someone else
And I fear that
So I'll keep holding
That thought
That lovely
Wretched
Wonderful
Love