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You know, I thought I had an idea of love,
an idea of things I would do with my first proper girlfriend,
and it went like this:

Telling her she's beautiful everyday,
writing poems for her as often as I can and reciting them to her.
Pulling that studying line : where I tell her I need help studying, but all I want is to make out on my bed.
Trying to make her laugh as often as I can, just so I can see her smile.
Confiding in her.
Holding her close when she cries,
holding her hand and tightening my grip when she's staring at another guy.
Making out with her under the stars,
telling her my life story and my daily struggles.
Treating her like a queen without expecting a king-like treatment in return.
Telling her that I love her as often as I can,
spontaneously asking her for walks or dates, just because texting or skype doesn't cut it for me.
Teasing her,
tickling her,
hugging her,
pleasing her,
kissing her...

The list goes on... but now I realise that all this just proves I am a hopeless romantic and that relationships won't be as easy and flowery and romantic as I've always thought.
Oh, it's so sad, it all looked sooo good in my head - too bad, it's all a fantasy :'(

-just being honest
GUILT
     G  U  I  L  T
          G
            U
              I  
                L
              ­     T

*
that is all I feel right now.
I am guilt-ridden right now... It's not a nice feeling.

-just being honest
I guess I always thought that I was a good guy,
That's why my thoughts are scaring me,
That's why I'm feeling guilty -
Because for once I'm going to do something bad...


But I really don't want to,
Nor do I have a choice.
I feel like I'm cornered, having to cause harm to do good... But I don't have a choice, I'm cornered :
The sooner I get out, the better...

-just being honest
"Home is where the heart is",
So... Ummm... My home are her hands?
Just playing around with the saying...
Because I gave a girl my heart, does that mean my home are hands?

-just being honest
i
is like having your lips sewn together, your voice is trapped in a prison and its sad you see, because you yourself hold the key.

ii
its like having your feet glued to the ground in big crowds, and you feel like everyone's constantly staring you down.

iii
its like feeling so alone in this world, especially when you're just a little girl, and all you want to do is be free and twirl.

iiii**
its like being a bird, but you have clipped wings and you can't sing.
this is anxiety to me//
stop.
Why are you constantly pulling my self esteem down like gravity?

stop.
all i've ever been was nice, but now your annoying comments are beginning to sound like squeaking mice.

stop.
everytime i hear you call my name i cringe, everytime you talk (about) with me i feel like im gonna go insane.

stop.
i used to enjoy our conversations, until you took it to far- way past my limits- or destanation.

stop.
just leave me the heck alone, and stop. Just stop.

'Mia! What did you want to tell me?'

**Oh, nothing.
i have a few "friends" who treat me like this, but i never seem to tell them.
Sound-blocking headphones are the greatest invention known to teenage boy.
Love them, ***, when it's just you and the music, ****, it's a whole new world!!!!

-just being honest
you dont know me
once the lights go out
you dont know me
once my blood starts running
you dont know me
when i collapse on the floor screaming
you dont know me
when i scratch at my skin
you dont know me
you dont know my sin
you dont know me
the depths i hide within
you dont
Actions
Speak louder,
than words!?!
... But not in my case.

Never could a poet's actions;
be anywhere near,
the volume of their words.
Which are SCREAMED,
Louder than ANY action could!

Not only do our words
speak louder,
But they evoke EMOTION.
Letting you feel...
what we felt.
So you FEEL our pain...

So

Look us in the eyes...
& See if you can utter,
"ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS"
Why'd I press "play" ,
When I knew I wasn't ready?
Stupid, stupid me,  I should have never allowed any of this to happen...
And you know in games, sometimes a message pops up saying, "Are you ready?"
I kinda saw it and I said yes, when the answer was obvious to me - no.

-just being honest
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