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Vanessa Annalise Sep 2016
My mind is cut, divided
Into pieces, it hurts so much.
Daily pills are borderline
Keeping me here, above the ground.

"Worthless, no one wants you here."
"You've ******* up again, you're worthless."
"You have failed again, worthless."
My mind screams insecurities.

It's like they gave me a name.
It makes it hard to be better,
Makes it hard to keep going.
An overdose away from freedom.
Avellaneda Lesli Sep 2016
And humans enjoy pain. Because even when they are perfectly happy they always dig for what they don't want to find. First letting others tear you down, then you finish unconsciously tearing yourself down. Finally you're so unrealistically happy that you want to know all the negatives, Foolish human.

You want to remember error after error marring life. And knowing you can't turn back time you make yourself angry, you make yourself hurt with knowledge that even if you could-you wouldn't have changed a thing. Yet you smile that bittersweet smile as you look back. There's no voices, it's just you. Tearing yourself apart. Because that's what you've learned. That's what you do best.
Ignorant human

Why didn't you know? You're a meat coated skeleton made of stardust. Like thousands more. You aren't the only little human. There's more-there will always be more. Time cannot erase what it's shaped. Time cannot change another souls' will to make unforeseen mistakes. Mistakes that harm.
And you're marred. Marked by time. Marked by those mistakes. Aged.
You angry, insecure, foolish, ignorant, little human.

And even if you smile-Once more with this quaking pain you've brought on yourself. You chose this. And although all is forgiven and forgotten by those souls. You will always remember. You will alway regret. But you've been shaped-cannot be unshaped. You cannot turn back time. Once a raindrop falls it into the puddle it cannot come back out for as it fell time passed and the seconds aren't coming back.
So now you accept it, although it hurts you remember
Little idiotic human

And so now you have sunlight with shadows,
Nights with moonlight, happiness with agony, and life with death.
You're haunted. Filled with self hatred.
And you,
you're just a sick human who enjoys pain
The thoughts that run through my head as I lay in darkness
Phim Aug 2016
Crying
I bully myself
No tears
No weakness
Suffer in silence
I will not hear your sobs
Do not cry out from pain
Breathe in
Breathe out
Feel your anger
Not your sorrow
Feel your bitterness
There's no tomorrow
Do not be weak
Do not cry
Do not let them see
Stop being stupid
Stop being worthless
Stop feeling sorry for yourself
No one cares
Stop caring
It doesn't matter
Nothing matters
You look so ugly when you cry
You're so ugly
Why are you so awful
Why am I so awful
Why am I so mean to myself
I don't deserve this
I do deserve this
I deserve to cry
I deserve to die
I'm kind of mean to myself when i cry :/
m i a Aug 2016
i feel as if though i've been in the dark for awhile now,

and it's taking forever for the sun to rise,

i'm fighting all of these nightmares, fears, stress, and etc.

mr. sun, where are you?

i need to see you rise so i can too.
this is not a poem but i hope you enjoy/relate to this somehow.
storm siren Aug 2016
Silently
Tears
Tend to fall.

Usually
I sob
In that ugly way.

But who cares
Who even reads
Into my words
Into my motives
Into what I'm trying
To say.

Who even cares.

Who's to say
Anyone cares,
No one says anything.

I don't mean likes,
I don't mean comments,
I mean from the people I want to
Hear speak.

It doesn't ******* matter,
Because in the end
These words are ******* worthless.

You'll never get it,
And my care will never
Be good enough
For anyone,
So who the ****
Even wants it?

Why do I even
Try?

Because I'm hoping
That one day
I'll stop feeling so rejected
When you just don't know what to say.
**** it. No one hears and when they do there's nothing to say. I should never have stopped being a wallflower.

EDIT: I apologize for any worries I may have caused-- Panic is a crazy thing, and so are existential crisis's. Everything is okay, I just had my monthly freak out. Should be fine from here on out.
My decisions are fallacious
My thoughts are surreptitious
My heartbeat arrhythmic
And my soul tormented

I help none
Speak not
And seek no intimacy

I am contemptible
Hated
Degenerate
Low
Lousy
And
I am nugatory
Spike Harper Jul 2016
Everything has a price.
Each time the bell toles.
A payment is made.
The rhythmic thump.
Is only a reminder.
Of how taxing it all is.
There is no.
First prize.
No encore.
As the curtain falls.
All that is waiting is silence.
And darkness.
Only death has not come.
He stands patiently to the side.
Grinning.
It seems.
This is his favorite game.
KISS Jul 2016
Her life was so perfect she went to church and never sinned then her life got messed up again and again  she smokes and she drinks she Cutts and she thieves she has sinned a whole lot and where the hell was god she don't. Know or Believe her life was so sad and she wants to give up but she knows nobody gives a **** that her life is so messed up ...
By her life I mean mine I just thought it would be better
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