A sip,
I feel it go down my throat smoothly
And as it reaches my tummy
I feel warmth
A feeling I had forgotten
After taste on my tongue
Bittersweet like my life
And a sip turns into a gulp
Because why not?
I love how it makes me feel
Giddy, happy, joyful
And so I stand up glass in hand
In my granny underwear and my favorite sweater
And I sway my hips to the music in my head
I grind my *** on the crotch of my imaginary guy
The perfection he is, I like who I am when he’s near
Pure bliss I love what’s in my glass
And so I throw the glass away
Drink straight up from the bottle
I feel like a bad girl
Because mama said glasses were for ladies
And bottles for crazies
And I smile because it feels so **** good
And because I don’t know who I am
I keep drinking hoping to find my answers
At the bottom of my bottle
And when I find none,
I’ll open another one
Mama said never give up
And my mission is to find answers by the end of the night
Oh dear Wine I wish everyone was like you
Tonight you have heard me tell you how lost I am
Tonight you have let me dance with you in my arms
Tonight you have listened and not judged
Tonight I have taken and felt bliss as a reward
Is this how people feel when they take from me
Pure bliss and joy because I never ask back
And for a moment I sobered up
And I looked at your bottle in my arms
Poor wine! She has given away the good stuff
And now she’s empty inside
Left nothing for herself now she’s useless and not needed
And before I opened your sister sweet white
I realized in a sober world you and I are the same
Always giving until we were empty
But tonight I drink so for once I’ll take
Even if it's just from a bottle of sweet sweet wine.
Jojo.poetry

I haven't been eating much.
My shaking hands beg for nourishment,
And only then I feed it.

I've been sleeping a lot,
but it's disturbed, restless.

I've been drinking more and more.
The red wine at night soothes my sadness.
It even makes Him feel farther away.
Just to wake up groggy, unclear, sad.
Alone.

Here I am, punishing myself.
Unable to wrestle out of this cycle.
The wicked voice inside my head is back,
and She's louder than ever.
She likes it when I'm catatonic and vulnerable.

Marigold, southern roses
in my backyard
there she poses
Camellia, there we dine
red lights, red wine
red tequila
Marigold, flat-pressed roses,
that memory, it’s the tenet
of my broken-ness.

Sipping gently on the decline,
Watching the story leave my mind,
Dancing gently to the whispers haunting
A gamble, a game, a lullaby.
Washing my words out till they clean up nicely,
My condolences to the muted inside,
A rose, corrupted, I gift to the departed,
A world that cheers on at life's demise.
They sob till they're alone, humans, one-of-a-kind.
A show we put on, till it all blows over,
The nightmares play games with reality,
My fortune has lost, time plucked my clover,
Even games with the Devil can cost a fee.

sometimes, i wonder if i could just go away

i'll live in a strange land

where people speak a languange that i don't understand

i'll probably find myself a job as an applepicker

after work, i'll go home

pamper myself in my log cabin

read, write, smoke, drink wine

then sleep

Rosé
Tumbles down my throat
As I shove in M n' M's soon after.

I watch Gravity Falls in the meantime,
Wiping the teary mascara with a tissue -
And thinking:

"Wow. How did I get here?"

just a bit of wine
but now i'm lying
flat out in a straight line
face pressed against the cold tile
looking over to catch your smile
because we both know
we'll be here for awhile
and that's just fine
i start to cry
because, ****
it's a beautiful sight
right?

you loving me for me
it's crazy
both of us forever free
to be whoever
we want to be
and we still choose
to stand
side by side
each time.

you know i'm right.