Where do you fit
Into my timetable
I want the attention
I need you to see me
But what I want
Doesn't matter
What matters most is that
You want to give it
Giving me the time of day
Make me part of your timetable

If only , I could have
those most desired
If only , I could have
the love most desired
If only , I could have those
wishes & wants  
It is the if only's
But you see it's not how
it comes to be
The if only is just a dream
we can want it but only in
our dreams can it happen
then you wake up and
go about your day
still thinking if only
If only life was fair
If only we could be happy
with what we don't have
So just remember
If only is just that
If only ..
© Jennifer L DeLong 🦏

Romanticising to the extreme
I give you no space
To the moon and back
struggling to keep up the pace
Focusing on what you can
and not who you are
you bear the weight of my fantasies
my wishes, shooting star

Consuming each other
and we still burn
But
for a stronger flame
I yearn

We are back to a spark
but I want fire
I can't be complacent
with such a blazing desire

You want a fighter
and I don't like war
You want chaos
you don't desire "more"

Peace is a foreign concept
Order is "strange"
Are you sure you really need
what you call "change"?

Demons dance on wounds
But for one to rise again
One must find their peace

And to find our wings
We must find our one true selves
Live and embrace it

Emerge from the egg
Is what we want meant to be?
Time to test your wings

please adorn my grave
with wildflowers.

do not go to the florist
to purchase a bouquet.

do not open your wallet
on the day of my death.

I hope you realize that
I can't take my savings
with me when I'm gone.

I wasted my entire life
learning that lesson.
material objects never
brought me happiness.

you have tried,
but you cannot
buy my love.

I do not care
what my headstone
looks like,

or if I even have
a headstone.

what I want is for you
to pick me wildflowers.

your money
is meaningless.

your time
and your effort
is all I want
when I die.

maybe you didn't
realize this, but

that is all I wanted
while I was still alive.

I hope you know
that I will never need you.

I might want you.

I might love you.

I might hope that
you never leave me.

but you need to realize
that no matter how badly
I want you in my life,

I will never need you.