Today, you didn't appear.
For the life of me,
or death
I could not stand the fear.

You had staggered away.
Even after I may, or may not
have wanted you to stay.
Did my words wind up lost in translation,
still- I begged for swift emancipation.

Perhaps I fret too much.
"I" lacking your loving touch.
for we are not "We"
Just You an'                                                               Just me.

Today you didn't appear.

I like  you.

I like  you  a lot.

I want to be bored with you.

I want to hold weekly board meetings over the topic of you.

I could impress the shareholders. What do you think?

     I think you enjoy honesty, and despise flattery.
Believe me, I know the difference. I hope you do too.
I am no wily flatterer
I would never say something like, “I’ll sail to the MOON for you,”
something impossible and irrelevant. With the consistency of soupy puke.
I should just as soon say,
“I WILL jump recklessly from the top of a very tall tower, and land—perfectly intact and unharmed
… for you.”
I hope I am not the only one who sees a problem with this sort of logic.
So instead I’ll say:

Let the madness of what this fixation has turned me into, fuel my fears and my ambitions and drive me therefore, to construct a missile, with enough space inside to harness only myself, enough kick in the engine to erase my past—and all the laws of life as we know it.
I will have those memorized by then, and plan to have my hands on new laws unforeseen by any of the other
mainstream earthlings;
maybe using my new third eye to grasp at something up there that was previously air —
& I will beg this nonconsensual devotion you’ve evoked in me please grant me the derision to press the button, and launch myself into that forgetful lazy river that contains all the planets, asteroids, black holes, spaceships, a lonely-wandering U.S. radio transmitter, spilt-paint nebulas, one of Tiger Woods’ golf *****, a drunken astronaut, some of the crew from that Malaysian airplane (you know, the one that went missing), and also there are suns (often called stars), and moons, and there has gotta be a little love floating around somewhere with the celestial ants
and supernovas
and EVERYTHING.
and dissimilarly nothing you can grasp.

to the Moon?
sure,
why not babe,
if moon-rocks could somehow make you fall in love with me,
I would plan to rob the Smithsonian (or probably a similar museum of history but one with less security),
and if that ended up a no-go,
thenyeah.


     Mad. Zoom.


straight to the ******* moon for you.

I seen you in the hallway
And at the shoe store
The other day
Each day I wanted more
Knowing you couldn't feel the same way

I was broken, downed,
Rescued
I seen you around
And our story continued
And my heart started to pound

It was raining
I stole a kiss
The night was waning
Why can't I hold all this bliss
Your lips left me wanting

we're sitting timidly across from each other,
the lights dimmed,
the energy lamenting.
i have nothing to say,
but i have so much love to give.
show me your velvet lust,
let me pour my silky sentiment all over you.
i'm waiting patiently,
for the appearance of total bliss,
but this attraction seems endless, baby,
like a vessel to the night sky.

I want you to glance at me when I pass by.
Notice me when I actually try.
I want you to hold my hand when we walk.
Notice how beautiful I am everytime we talk.
I want you to kiss me under the sun.
Notice me coming undone.
I want you to tell me you love me.
Notice how you're the only one I see.
I want you not to yell.
Notice me trying to escape this hell.
I want you to stay.
Notice how every **** night I pray.
I want you to come back.
Notice me trying to so hard to back track.
I want you to love me again.
Notice how I can't let this be the end

Maybe that was my number one mistake.
Not noticing the steps that I always take.

They lead to my downfall every ******* time.
Breaking my heart, to you, obviously is not a crime.

Oh the things I would do
to hear your laugh, one last time.

They say ink is poison,
But so is your touch,
So aren't these words,
Better than cuts?

Every time I awake from slumber,
I glance around my room,
Expecting to see you here.

I sleep with my door unlocked.
*You know this.