I am getting used to it
No message from you
No chat from me
Maybe i'm getting there
Day by day
I feel courage
Day by day
I feel strength
Everything is temporary
And this pain is no exception
This hurt will go away
Someday I'll be free
In time there'll be no more tears
Nor bitterness caged in my chest
No more racing thoughts in my head
Nor an image of a woman at night who weeps
Day by day
My heart will get used to it
Not being with you
And not kissing your lips.
Day by day
I'll get back to my feet
With my head up high
And a victorious smile on my face.
When that time comes
I'll know I have no regrets
Because in my heart I know
For what we had, I did my best.
In the universe above all the stars
there is only one star placed in the
rosy garden of heaven .
People named her the victorious one,
but i called her LaToya
what do you call her ?
When I'm not sure which feelings are really pure
And I don't know which direction brings me closest to the shore
And the pier that I will walk off into the sea
Is reaching out to me
I've walked to the pier a thousand times before
And each time I've fallen to the floor
In an attempt that seems so endless
To end the days that I am breathless
But it's not about the silent shouting
It's not about me slowly drowning
It's not about my minds peace
It's about the sudden increase, and then
I haven't found what I'm looking for
And the reason you're here is to show me the door
But I don't want to hear you from outside
I don't want to hear you say in pride
But today it's my choice to march away
To the pier I chose to see "one day"
And walk right off into the water
My body is feeling even hotter, my mind,
The 'you' is my deceiving, lying, torturing mind
If you read my last post you
know that I was in a relationship
which has ended. I was devastated.
I have been writing about how
depressed I have been.
That was before I watched a YouTube video of a sermon given by
Bill Johnson. It was about resting and
abiding in God. After viewing this i went outside onto my porch and talked to God. Never before had HIS LOVE for me been so palpable.
Or His voice so clear.
My dear friends. He has a plan and purpose for everything that happens to us. We are being systematically tried and purified to be inspired and blessed to have HIM in our hearts and minds. Our very lives are at stake.
Events will be taking place that will try our very SOUL. We MUST be prepared! We must be very strong to survive. Not only physically. But our souls must be prepared as well.
The devil has been sitting on me.
He's a fire that has been heating up my mettle. He has been pounding me. With doubt. Denial. And DECEIT. Telling me that I am not good enough. That I am bipolar and will never get better. But I am a sleeping giant! Not in myself. Never that. But the God I serve is awesome beyond comprehension!
These are things I have done with him working through me.
A woman with double phnemonia, strep throat and "incurable" bronchitis brought on by asthma
was healed overnight.
A woman with chronic depression was healed as I watched her start to giggle then LAUGH OUT LOUD! Holy laughter seemed to bubble up in her and she was healed!
My dad (who says he is an atheist) was cured of cancer. He's been cancer free for six years!
I've said the prayer of Salvation with a man who was a "Devil's Disciple".
A notorious motor cycle gang. He had killed three people. I saw him change before my eyes as the demons left him! He nearly fell off his chair. And this hardened man wept in my arms for 10 minutes afterwards.
The list goes on. NOT ANYTHING THAT I DID... EXCEPT I WAS TOTALLY SOLD OUT TO GOD AND ALLOWED HIM TO WORK THROUGH ME!
My name is Catherine Jarvis. I'm a SoulSurvivor. *And VICTORIOUS!!!
I'm a nice guy
A jolly one in fact
But it seems only my emotions of hatred make it to the outside world
Caging my smile in a dark barrier of misconception
Giving off this false impression that I am a demoned eyed beast
But I am here, somewhere beneath this hollowed mask
I am here laughing,singing,playing, waiting for the day I shall be released from this barless cage
And believe me the day is rapidly approaching
I can feel it coursing through my veins
The pure joy pumping in my blood
But until the day it finally makes it way through the pores of my skin
I shall sit here silently looking into the outside world,
Awaiting my turn to bath in its glorious rays
A message from inside
People say my name is
People try to define me
by their standards
by their thoughts
by what they think I am
They don't know me
They don't know my name
I am Victorious
That is my name
— The End —