It’s quite a sight
to see my machinations
dance before me,
and I’m not sure how to feel
when they call me to declare
how I’ve been dreaming.

I try so hard to forget my forgetting
and that maybe when I feel this way,
I can coexist with my desires,
but something tells me when I hear
a man pining,
that it wouldn’t be fair to project myself onto him,
no way.

They keep calling.

I haven’t the ability to trust a phone call
from a fleeting notion I shouldn’t keep.
Please forgive me, sir,
but I think it’s been too much to see
these characters dance to the images in my head,
knowing that reality
is much too far out of reach.

They say she has it bad,
Taking down the boundaries
She never really had,
Yes, it’s all a bit lethargic,
following what was said,
Trailing eyes and messages
and the overwhelming dread.

Let it down slowly,
It’s a phrase she has heard,
And maybe they’d realize her turn for the worse,
Lethargy, it’s an eight letter word,
But it rules the innards and the outer,
It’s just something she’s learned.

A wilted lettuce leaf, I am.
Look how weak every crease happens to be,
and how sad it is to see me,
limp and soggy,
Skin turned dark,
An unforgettable, unpleasant sight;
Such an unforgiving body, I have.

Deep down I have a collection
I have a dozen bottles in it
Certain ones I keep in its own section
When it look through it takes a bit

Certain ones look so enticing
They pull me in certain ways
Some sweeter than cakes icing
Others bring on a familiar haze

In the back are the ones to avoid
Sadness, misery, and much more
The feelings of sitting in the void
And thoughts of who I’m living for

Don’t dare try and open one
If it opens they all explode
After that, what’s done is done
And my emotions take quite a load

I gather it all up once more
I’m used to it by now
Yet it still leaves me hurt and sore
Days like these I wonder how

My collection is so big
Maybe because I lock them away
I’d rather smoke this cig
What’s the harm of keeping it all in anyway

They say your past lovers
shape your future tastes,
and I'd be fraught with a dilemma
if it were true,
because I cannot afford to love
another man like the last two.