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I’m too much.
I’ve heard it in every sigh,
seen it in every glance that lingers just a second too long—
the weight of me suffocating the space between us.

I ask for too much,
but it never feels like it.
I don’t ask for the world,
just the bare minimum:
A little attention. A little care.
A little proof that I matter.

But somehow, even that’s too heavy.
Too big. Too loud.

I’ve learned to bite my tongue,
to shrink myself down to something easier to swallow.
Soft-spoken. Simple. Small.
An echo of who I was,
because maybe then,
I’ll be easier to love.

Spoiler alert: I’m not.

I’m always too needy,
too messy,
too complicated.
The kind of person you put up with,
but never choose.
The kind of person you forget as soon as the door closes.

I feel it every time I reach out,
fingers trembling in the dark,
hoping someone will hold on—
only to find the emptiness waiting for me again.

I want to scream,
“I don’t want much!”
Just to feel seen.
Just to not be forgotten.
Just to be the kind of person who matters to someone—
even for a little while.

But I’ve learned how this goes.
I ask,
and I become too much.
I stay quiet,
and I become invisible.

Caught somewhere between being too heavy to carry
and too easy to leave behind.

So, I sit with the weight of it.
The loneliness.
The ache that tells me I’ve always been replaceable.
A body that takes up space
but never quite fits anywhere.

And the worst part?
I still keep hoping.
Still keep waiting for someone to see me
and not run.

Even though I know they will.

They always do.
Jeremy Betts Feb 17
I tried giving a fuuck
Never did I ever receive a single one back
Tired of pushing my luck
To the forefront of a full frontal barbaric attack
Feels like passing the buck
The offer of a penny for your thoughts never taken so they stack
Trudge through the muck
Stomping on what you hope is dog shiit in a burning paper sack
That unwanted feeling stuck
Used and abused then put back on the rack

©2025
SavannahMcmanus Dec 2024
UNLOVED
Now I see how it is I see that I was always right
Don't think of me at all u don't care how I feel
What makes me cry and wish I wasn't alive
Can I die tonight
Never meant a thing to u glad to know what u been saying about me is true
Unwanted
U never wanted me always put me last in the back of ur mind
Am I honestly that bad
What did I ever do to be unloved by u
Thought that people in ur shoes are supposed to love their kids unconditionally
Guess that's not true it's killing me that I've lived my life trying to win ur love and make u proud of me
Now I see
Unwanted
U never wanted me always put me last in the back of ur mind
Am I honestly that bad
What did I ever do to be unloved by u
Nobody left on my side I'm all alone
What am I gonna do can't live like this
My heart breaks everyday cause I thought u were always gonna be there
But I see
Unwanted
U never wanted me always put me last in the back of ur mind
Am I honestly that bad
What did I ever do to be unloved by u
All I'll ever have in this world is me I'll never know what it feels like to be loved right
All I know is pain and misery
I tried so hard to be what u wanted
Never got a chance to find who I really am but now I know
Unwanted
U never wanted me always put me last in the back of ur mind
Am I honestly that bad
What did I ever do to be unloved by u
Never good enough always blamed for everything
Judged because of what I do
I'm sorry I'm nothing like u
Is that it that I'm more like him than u
Wish I could be what u wanted me to be
Then it wouldnt feel like this
Unwanted
U never wanted me always put me last in the back of ur mind
Am I honestly that bad
What did I ever do to be unloved by u
Tears fall all the time cause everyone leaves turns their back on me
I'm fighting a loosing battle and it's slowly killing me
Thanks for showing me a life of misery
Jeremy Betts Nov 2024
I've heard people are strange
When you're a stranger
A lesson learned
Only as you grow older

Faces look ugly
When you're alone
My past proves
No one pays no mind to what's shown

They say women seem wicked
When you're unwanted
My truth is I've wasted
All the time allotted

Streets are uneven
When you are down
Seemingly impossible
To find solid ground

The strange
Have faces they hide in the rain
It's strange
Couldn't be bothered to remember my name

Are you strange?
Am I strange?
What is straaaaaange?

©2024
Ariannah Nov 2024
I've been watching you
Holding hands with her
The way I felt
I could never describe in words

Yet, I still hid from you
I looked devastated
And I still do
Wonder
What did she do
To get to hold hands with you.
Jeremy Betts Jul 2024
No more...
Feeling unwanted
Feeling unloved
Feeling like there's no one above
I've had e-fu¢ing-nough

No more...
Being "the problem"
Being "more that I can take"
Being no more than "the latest mistake"
For fu¢ks sake

No more...
Fu¢king anything
I'm okay with it being just me
I'm okay with being nothing
I can only be what you see

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jun 2024
You break my heart every day and twice nightly
Hell, I'd rather be lonely
I'd rather be lonely
Than to be rejected by my one and only
I'd rather be lonely
Than feel unwanted by another claiming they love me
I'd rather be lonely
Than completely dismiss the better half my personality
I'd rather be lonely
Than watch you act like it's a chore to explore a little intimacy
I'd rather be lonely
Than to witness you go out of your way to avoid my advancements like they're icky
I'd rather be lonely
Than feel more unwanted than I did through my first 40
I'd rather be lonely
sigh
I can't imagine anybody actually choosing to be lonely
But here I am, holding out for my somebody to join me

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jun 2024
Since a year and nine months before my first birthday I've been unwanted
The only way for me to not feel unwanted
Is to not be around for unwanted to be an option
Watch that be the day I am finally wanted
And they'll have the nerve to say, "this is not what we wanted."

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 2024
They tell me, they promise me, I'm not alone
But I can only go by what I've always been shown
Unwanted, undesirable, freek show, just a small sample of all I've known
I wish my inner abuser would adapt another tone
I don't own my own thoughts, any positive feeling is only on loan

People act like I hone in on this curse to be worthless
Like I thirst to be anxious
Like I have to coerce this anger and bitterness
Like I enjoy being immersed in the hopeless
Like my first thought is the worst on purpose
Like I enjoy all my deep rooted issues constantly rising to the surface

Then comes the question that brings me back to reality
"What are you doing to get control of this? Not enough certainly"
Honestly that's another cog in the circle mosh pit of misery, part of the continuity
I'd give anything for it to be as easy as everyone claims it should be

Because what most people see from me is rehearsed
My final diagnosis can not be reversed
The totality of my issues couldn't possibly be unearthed
But that doesn't change the horrible landscape I've traversed
I wouldn't be able to tell you what I'm worth, all I know is...
...I am this, for what it's worth

©2024
When the ****
hits the fan,
the things I want to hear
and the things I need to hear
are rarely the same thing.

It’s usually the hard truth
that I remember most
in the wee hours,
when anxiety swirls
around my head

When the time finally comes
to exit the whirlpool
the words that my heart
knows are true,
are the words
that fuel the change.
Like the song I was singing with soul, for years before I lived it, before I had the experience for it to really make sense. Like my mother’s wisdom that I didn’t want to hear, but it rang in my ears after the outcome of my foolishness is fulfilled. Will I always learn the hard way?
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