It started in the seventh grade.
You were young and I was young and I think
we can both completely agree that we were
pretty dumb and ignorant.
It was your voice I think,
that really brought me in.
Sweeping me up until
I was hopelessly and mindlessly
wrapped around your finger.

It wasn’t like honey.
and it most definitely wasn't like
“Sunshine on a cloudy day.”
It was dark.
Dark like midnight skies twinkling with starlight
and warm cinnamon that stings pale
Lips.
It was quiet like mysterious city alleys littered with
brazen homeless people,
sleeping in fetal positions on the streets.
Like hurt and joy and youth and indifference from the rest of our peers.
But that's the catch.
You were different.

You were beautiful in all your youthful glory and wildness.
Adrenaline spilling from your presence; sweeping everyone up along the way.
Taking them with you.
Smiling and laughing and dark eyes twinkling
Like that of the stars nestled deep in your voice.

And then there was I.
The shy, extremely indifferent, and mostly awkward
middle school girl with too many freckles
and too big glasses that filled her face full.

Your name passed the coven that was my lips
like a sacred secret
too many times to be sane yet,
did mine ever pass yours?

I aspired for you.
Only you.
Yet you never did for me.
Unrequited love, my Dear.
Unrequited love.

I barely knew you back then but all the things I remember still run through my mind,
Tears on my face as I'm writing this, to imagine a place if I asked "Are you fine?"
Didn't care at all and never talked to you
There wasn't a perfect time and place to call and check up on you
Then you were gone and the only thing I recall
Was seeing your girl's face, no make up, no smile
Chaffed feelings, no emotions, nothing at all
What could I say?
How can I possibly say it's okay?
How could I not feel this anger inside me
I look at her now, and she's different
You made her this way
When you drank all those pills, it killed her
Since then I haven't seen the real her
Screaming in her pillow, could you tell me that you heard her?
Even when she smiles, can you see that it still hurts her?
They might say that it's wrong to be bitter
But the more that she drank, the more she got sicker
And I'm no better, but she's killing her liver
You thought she would be better
But it's getting worse
Hollow like the bottle she's holding
She's trying to sleep but she can't until it's the morning
Everyday is another ******* performance
These pictures and memories is what she's been holding
She's blaming herself for the reason you left
You took every pill but she's the one who's feeling the effects
Families in pieces, and your friends are a ******* mess
You left all your pain and you gave it to them
What did you think would happen?
Thought it would be easy like she would just move on?
She's hanging out with her friends like nothing is wrong
Trying to be strong but the moment you left, she was already gone
Forgive me for my honesty, it's a blessing and a curse
It's a medicine that hurts and it's the only thing that works
Who could understand the **** that you went through?
It hurts because I'll never get to,
Look you in the eyes and say
"Jacob, I get you. Don't let the stress get to you."
You left so much scars that are here to stay
The stars don't look as bright when you decided to go away
So much pain that I see even till this day
They start thinking about you when it starts to rain