i don't know,
anyone else like you.
you feel,
as deeply as i do.
you understand my hurt...
but we are no longer.

only our memories,
will live on.
often times,
i wish they would die.
so you would never be,
on my mind.
i don't know,
anyone like you,
and i think,
that is a good thing.

dear you,

i’m in love.
yes. you were
waiting, i
bet, for this.
this time, though,
it is not
what you would
think. it’s me
this time, not
you, although
it’s still you,
but not in
the way it
used to be
you. it’s my
fault this time,
my doing,
my painful,
pitiful,
suffering.
it’s you in
the sense that
i cannot
control you.

this time,

it’s your mind and your thoughts
the things that slip off of your tongue
the words you put, pencil to paper
the ideas that come out in your songs

it’s your eyes and your sight
the careful observation of beauty
the need to bask in warm, pure light
the stare you give me, rarely now

it’s your movements and your touch
the hugs where you grip my shoulders
the times where i’m drunk and playing with your fingers
the warmth you give off and your gorgeous smile

none of them
are mine to
have, to take
to keep, to
love, to break

i miss you
and to go
and detach
to break what
we have, that’s
the hard way
out. but i
am trying
to help me.

i feel the
same way i
did when you
said i was
wrong about
this. about
how i feel.

i’m hoping
disposing
myself of
you, means that
the dreams will
go away
too. but if
they stay,
i’ll give you
a quick call.
probably
a text, to
be honest.

i love you,
unhealthily,
with every
part of me.

keep in touch,
please.

love,

me.

you dye your hair a new color,
dawn your favorite outfit,
and paint your face pretty
with palettes of persimmon hue.

you tint your lips a pale pink,
brush your cheeks with blush,
and line your lashes with liquid ink,
but your eyes are still dull and broken blue.

you glance in the mirror,
looking at who you are,
this body this heart this soul,
hoping to see a reflection of something new.

but nothing will change,
nothing will be different,
nothing can fix the ugly inside of you.


― you’re only as pretty as your heart is

we met when we were both unraveling.
i was speeding around in my car with music blaring not caring if one day i never went home and you pushed away the truth because you didn’t like the sound of other peoples opinions

you were a breath of fresh air, someone who cared about the crazy thoughts in my head and you called them poetic when sometimes i wish you would’ve just reminded me that it’s okay to cry, i don’t have to appear happy and strong all of the time

i was a thunderstorm of emotions and as i stood in the pouring rain i watched as my house burned down. instead of opening up and telling you i let it rip apart my insides because i didn’t want to burden you with the reality that you couldn’t fix it, you couldn’t fix me

i was a book shut tight, with an unbreakable lock keeping me closed and you were silent and didn’t like the taste of my name in your mouth until it was too late. together we were a mess, a storm of emotions, an unhealthy love affair

Give everything you have,
Give it to them,
That’s what they deserve,
Not just their own happiness,
But yours as well.