You say I am beautiful
Scars and everything
But
Do you mean the scars that litter my body
Or the scars that litter my mind
My heart
My Soul

Oh, baby
If you knew
How the scars came to be
Would I still be beautiful to you?

i am the architect of my own demolition.
i know what ive done, but i will not admit
that i am the cause.
i know that by admitting it,
i will never be able to live with myself.
so with that,
i choose to blatantly ignore
all evidence you throw at me.
i will ignore my own head,
yet alone
the thoughts that rage in yours.

but the funny thing is,
my head will forever be louder
than the words you continue to yell at me.
my head is equivalent to
the loud static of a broken television;
only not able to be turned off.
i am saving myself from my own destruction.
but at the same time
i am creating more for you.

you are the rug i sweep all my actions under.
you are the jar i hide all my confessions in.
for i am a monster,
a monster only seen
when i look into the mirror.
you are my mirror.

Why am I nostalgic,
For something that hasn't even occurred?
Why am I worried I'll lose you
But yet I won't even say a word.

Am I Caesar, and you my Brute?
Will you, whom I love
Deliver to me that devastating blow?
That ultimate betrayal of a stab in attack

"Es tu, Brute?"
As I begin to waver, quake, and fall.
I breath heavily, but I will not bawl.
I will hold my head high and collapse when I can no longer stand tall.
Knowing it is you who has made that call.

If you asked
I would never leave your side
Forever following,
By only your command, would I abide
Your faithful servant, your loyal slave
Your obedient puppy, whose path you pave
Whose life you save

Ask whatever you wish
I will hold no secrets from you
My solemn flower whose life blossoms by pale light of the darkened moon.
In your solitude, I offer up my servitude
I bask in your backwards beauty
and exquisitely aromatic scent

If you said
"Devote your life solely to me"
I would silently agree with no alternative pleas.
"Stand by my side through the Dark in the Night,
And stay by my side through the Light in the Sky."
I would gladly abide.

Who am I to go against your every Will, Whim, and Wish?
You, whose very whimsical whisper and sweetened shout I longingly miss.
I will blindly follow any and all commands
For you who delicately intertwines fingers or desperately grasps hands.
Lightly gracing me with your attention or violently demanding my affection.

Regardless of which path you travel down
I love it all
With you I feel safe and sound
I will gladly take and give

It is after all my job to obey
No matter what it is you say.

"Get me food."
Gladly
"Be my shade."
Gladly
"Help me with work."
Gladly
"Stop hanging out with them."
Gladly.
"Tell me you love me."
Gladly.
"Fight them for me."
Gladly.
"Hurt yourself for me."
Gladly.
"**** for me."
Gladly.
"Live for me."
Gladly
. . .
"Die."
Gladly.

Your voice used to warm my heart.
The sound takes me back,
All the way back to the start.

When my body was brand new,
Freshly developed,
I could not see through,
Others' facades.
I always let them have their way.

I said no,
And you pressed on,
Hearing me,
But not paying much attention,
To my pleas.

Other protests went unheard,
Never escaped my mouth,
The lines were always blurred.

I thought I was loved,
But that was untrue.
I was being shoved,
Into a small dark place.
A place where you could do,
All you desired to.

I let you have me,
Before I knew who I was.