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  Dec 2018 Lexi Fields
Riley Cartwright
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T
Th
The
The m
The mu
The mus
The musi
The music
The music i
The music in
The music in m
The music in my
The music in my h
The music in my he
The music in my he
The music in my hea
The music in my head
The music in my hea
The music in my he
The music in my h
The music in my
The music in m
The music in
The music i
The music
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The mus
The mu
The m
The
Th
T
H
Ha
Has
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Has be
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Has been
Has been o
Has been on
Has been on r
Has been on re
Has been on rep
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Has been on repeat
Has been on repea
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Has been on re
Has been on r
Has been on
Has been o
Has been
Has bee
Has be
Has b
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H
T
Tu
Tur
Turn
Turne
Turned
Turned a
Turned al
Turned all
Turned all t
Turned all th
Turned all the
Turned all the w
Turned all the wa
Turned all the way
Turned all the way u
Turned all the way up
Turned all the way u
Turned all the way
Turned all the wa
Turned all the w
Turned all the
Turned all th
Turned all t
Turned all
Turned al
Turned a
Turned
Turne
Turn
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Tu
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F
Fo
For
For q
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For quite
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For quite so
For quite som
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For quite some ti
For quite some tim
For quite some time
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For quite some
For quite som
For quite so
For quite s
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For qui
For qu
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Fo
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Sadly, I've forgotten the melody
  Dec 2018 Lexi Fields
Hello Daisies
8pm
Now 8pm feels like 4am
I'm running off of nothing
Dark blood bleeds from my face
twisted thing is I'm too far gone to care this is the way i am
Im so tired im working so hard trying ro get better and its getting worse the nose bleeds wont stop they go on for so long my body is weaker everyday and i just hope i die
Nothing is ok and never will be again
Lexi Fields Dec 2018
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s the thinnest of them all

Is it the angels
With their body perfect from all angles
Or
Is it the girls I see
With their frames so petite

Mirror mirror on the wall
Please me pretty as them all

Thigh gap so wide
They all cry with envy and broken pride
A stomach so small
People will ask if I eat at all

Mirror mirror on the wall
Why can I not stand at all

My body
It isn’t working on its own
But I can
Still see my bones

Mirror mirror on the wall
I am the thinnest of them all

I want
To be the thinnest girl found
I’m sitting
at 88 pounds

Mirror mirror on the wall
My heart stopped beating last fall

Laying in a casket
All I will say is
Being the thinnest
Is not worth it
Lexi Fields Jul 2018
I’ve lived in the belly of the beast
I’ve lived between its pointed teeth
Under it’s finger nails
Between every fist bump that came after my name

The cheers your friends made as you added my name to your list
Your list of others you’ve touched and penetrated

Girls younger than I was
Girls older than I was

Never released your name
Probably never will

Why?

For your own protection
Why am I protecting a person like you
A person who preys on little girls

A question I cannot answer
But yet
Here I am
Yet again
Leaving you

Anonymous
Lexi Fields Apr 2018
I thought I was over you
Over the way you laughed
Over the way you talked
Over the way your blue eyes watched me
Over this stupid little crush

But when you were on my mind
While he was on my body
I knew I wasn’t over you
Not the slightest
Lexi Fields Mar 2018
We created a forest

A forest we created and also destroyed

Destroyed with wild raging arguments
Spitting flames at each other’s sheltered hearts

Destroyed with shaking walls from redirected fists
Swinging drunk hands in hopes of getting your way

Destroyed with hurricanes of tears from sleepless nights
Drowning in sorrow and regret from words and actions

Some nights when I can’t sleep
I find myself walking through the same forest
Reliving all the bad
But also all good

The nights spent dancing under the fake stars
That we hung in the living room
The days we spent climbing trees, racing to the top

Even though i am no longer the person I was before you
And you are no longer the same person you were before me

I still miss you
I still hope you miss me
I hope that you miss me so much
That you too walk through our forest
Touch every scorched tree
Every split rock
Every raging river
And think of me
The good and the bad
Lexi Fields Jan 2018
You say I am beautiful
Scars and everything
But
Do you mean the scars that litter my body
Or the scars that litter my mind
My heart
My Soul

Oh, baby
If you knew
How the scars came to be
Would I still be beautiful to you?
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