they will not live
they do not live
as I stare at the tank,
willing, hoping, praying for motion
nothing

they say the third time's the charm
we reassure each other
as we pour the remains away

so many regrets on choosing brine shrimp
my initial joy in the lab goes down the drain
with the dead
brine shrimp

an immortal of ice
his brother barely human, only human
human enough to love

Do memories make a man?
If who I am is grounded in my experiences,
as I age, do I lose myself?
And if I lose myself,

where do I go?

have you ever cried upside down?
felt the tears stream up your face
down with gravity
and into all the wrong places?

felt the droplets, cooling as they race away from their mirrored origin,
slide over furrowed brow
across forehead and temple to dampen the sliver-thin hairs—
the ones that glow when lit from behind
—and rest where skin meets strand?

no
you have not felt these things
how could you have?
your world is always right side up.

outa sight outa mind I haven't missed you in a while cause
**** things have changed
no more hoping or wishing or thinking bout you
you haven't called me in over a year
you been with her for over a year
but then you come back even just for a second and I
wanna tell you everything you've been missing
how I've seen the world and found my passions
how I've laughed and cried and grown without you
the books I've read
the people I've met
wanna share them with you
wanna share you with them
but you'll be gone before I can
utter the words
before I can ask how you are
before you can ask how I am
you dance in and out
using poetry as your vessel to remind me of what we share
our mutual existence in this crazy world
our coexistence
back for a second you'll be gone for a minute
I miss you already
I've forgotten you again

I'm so frustrated at myself
you have no clue what you're doing

No creativity, no soul, no truth
Just going through the motions

I thought guys were the problem
no the problem is myself

I was so happy but what happened
I feel hurt, broken, annoyed

My future is so cloudy.
My present is so manipulated

Ignoring my problems through music
Where's the crafty girl I know

I'm frustrated and angry
Bruises on my head

I'm acing my classes but I'm so fake.
I'm faster but not stronger.

Where is the girl I know

Your skin glows in darkened windows
Turns paste dimly similar darkness
An open mouth filled with seeds
Spilling roots into my feet
Which twist and bend and scream
As I break and fall and dive
From the window above that of my own soul
And roll and cry where flowers might have bloomed
Inside you neck where my hand resides
As the motions turn change turn upside
Down beneath your skin I feel new blood flow
Causes a dimmer of eyeballs invisible
To none but you
The quiet air is worse than loud chaos
The energy that infects so many
Another victim smiles for love
And another lover smiles for
What's there not to smile for
If every face you see transforms and bends
Into a likeness you can hold
And in your elbows you get a spike
Of tingle the arms that protect
Or once was thought to do before
The air grew cold and summer fell down
Where I fell like a rock on glass
The door shatters on my feet like before
Cut open the blood of friends
Ghosts left behind
Who still hold you without wanting to
Though they would have
And empty pools with fleshed out ghosts
You can't hold or hear or even see
But your bones grow cold and rip your skin
As you grow and change and grieve
And hold yourself and all that's real
For the time being
And **** the straw and close eyes
And disregard yourself
If you never have a plan
You walk into the woods and find
The trees are all different
With different branches to poke your eyes
And make you blind
And your surroundings blur
Cannot walk anymore
So carry me home and lay me down
And rest inside my stomach and
Make me breathe
I'll make you breathe
And cause the pump to pump
Pull the lever push the switch
To turn on the glowing light
Inside your skin
Turned away and looking at a glow
That I cannot see
Please feel me like I feel you
Even though I said I haven't
I haven't seen this light before