Somebody wrote "acurate"
And that seemed not quite right
I then responded to the mate
So that he may gain insight:
"It occurs to me that the accurate way
To write "accurate" is with recurring "c" ."
My friends will most likely hang me, nay,
I'm confident they're gonna find something worse for me...
But I liked the tongue-twister well
And in this sense,
Knowing I will burn in hell,
I added "That was a neat sentence"...

With the future ahead and the past behind,
It's safe to say I've got a lot on my mind.
All the things I've said and the things I'll do
Swirl around my brain like a twister passing through

Timothy Tolliver Tines
Taught tax topics twenty times
Touting tax tips he tried
Till terribly tongue-tied
Twisted tongue tending to twine

Feel like the time's running faster,
Life's that long tongue twister.

All but still
Wheat wavering in the distance, shivering in anticipation
Animals hide away, tucked in the safety of hideaways, holes, and orifices
Humans crouch underground, waiting
Hours pass
A lone alarm shouts across the land
"This is an emergency. I repeat, an emergency warning"
So loud that those below, closer to hell than ever before, clutch their ears
For they are ringing from the vibrant sound waves stretching across the fields
A slight change in wind directions
A little bit of motion
Begins the devastation

A lone inverted triangle appears
Seemingly hovering, inches above the ground
Circling its prey, before it gorges itself
Endless cyclic motions, vacuuming everything in its path
Houses, barns, plants fly
Tugged from the attraction to the ground to the sky
Engulfed by the tornado
That winds down a path of destruction

On a whirlwind high
Drunk off of its power
Invoking pain for no reason, except that it can
Land ripped to shreds
Houses taken and tossed miles and miles away
Barns slingshotted across the American countryside
And the deaths
Oh the deaths

Those who thought they could wait it out
Survive again once more
Those who tried to chase the twister
Mesmerized by its hypnotic dance
Those who were in the wrong place at the wrong time
Oblivious to their preventable fate

When the humans emerged
From their underground bunker
They found a land left ruined
Wiped blank of human development
With that they shed tears
Watering the fertile lands
As the tornado wrecked havoc
It brought a rebirth
A chance to start again fresh

There really isn't anything new
On this year's Christmas Giver Menu.
First we have the 'Accidental Insulter '
Who needs to hire, a clever gift consultor.
While handing you a gymnasium voucher,
Turning your emotions from 'sweet' to 'sour'!
Insults dressed up as compliments are nothing new,
But still,  Cuz, it's a bit hard to chew!

Next in line is the 'Relentless Re-gifter'
With telltale signs on my "new" game of Twister,
Footprint stains and greasy hand marks,
My goodness, my fury is starting to spark!
"Do you love it? " She asks. "I knew you would! "
She was feeling heroic like Robin Hood,
Passing me that tired looking parcel,
I wanted to fling that **** gift right back to the castle!

I thought to myself, "Hey there Squire!
Your ****** gifts just aren't my desire!! "

Will I fret about this gift?  Not one bit,
I'll just re-wrap it, re-gift it and,
Give it back to them next year!
The message, I bet, will be loud and clear.

"The Cheapskate"! Oh, what can I say here?
It's the same lame excuse year after year!
Buying gifts, eluded his 'plan',
He was far too busy, getting his tan.
Gifts to him just didn't matter,
As long as there was a lobster on a platter!

"The Handmade Lover" has a
Life affirming talent making,
But that 'Floral cushion cover collection,
I fear, by now,  is OVERTAKING!!!

The "Gift Certificate  Easy Roller",
Forgot you were plus five and a stroller,
Smiles smugly,  as they hand it over,
I'd need more luck,  than a four leaf clover,
Taking them all in to get my nails done,
Doesn't feel like a barrel of fun.
So, in future to avoid this mad, crazy dash,
I'd love to receive some COLD HARD CASH!!

Now, nothing makes me feel more nauseated,
Than "High Perceived Value packaging". "It's totally overrated! "

But I take courage in the "One Who Knows Me Best"
Their presents always outshine the rest!

"Merry Christmas to one and all! "
I hope that Santa heard your call,
"H-E-L-P!!! "

1 Nov 2018

Frayed to the touch
Your little electric shocks,
Wind me up
And spin me round.
Dizzy on nothing
I stumble to the floor
Falling deeper down.
This emotional twister
Sweeps me off
And dumps me right-side up.
Without a brain, and
My fancies out of control,
Well, my darling,
I’m afraid I’ve lost and
I’m fraying right before your eyes