Do others feel like this every time?
As if it’s something of actual substance,
A real reason to yearn,
A real reason to hunger,
As if for another form of sustenance.
Do others feel like this with a passing glance?
As if you’ve known them from the start,
A true sense of familiarity,
A true sense of belonging,
As if they’ve always weighed on your heart.
Do others feel like this every time?

I never had.

“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭2:9‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Lord, tonight I’m on my hands & knees, so I hope that you’re Listenin’.
Getting difficult for me to avoid multiple temptations
I’m trying to stay discipline.
Unlike mankind, I’m choosing to be build different.
Changing the outcome of my actions, I’m being way more vigilant.
I want to keep our promise we made together through this covenant.
And, I take full responsibility. I know that I’m not innocent.
~
Man, last year I got into a fight with man who was ignorant.
Got upset over a call in basketball I made & he lost it.
Took his frustration out on me due to his emotions being bottled in.
He had it out for me for a long time, this was no coincidence.
I wanted to mark his face with a final blow that would be permanent.
I was ready to risk it all that day during this whole incident.
~
Okay, summer time comes, I was in class all day studyin’
Evening shifts, late nights, grinding hard, constantly hustlin’
After 5 long weeks I failed my finance class that I was in
Program dropped me out of it, GPA low, not proud of it
Tick off cause I felt like all that hard work was all for nothin &
Decided to switch up, pursue poetry that I’m passionate in
So I left school, never looked back at the lost accomplishment
~
2019 was the start of a beginning breakup.
A test-run to give me a taste of a nasty setup.
March 29th- the day lost everything due to a house fire.
Left a terrible sight in my eyes making feel bitter.
Homeless for 4 months with nothin attached to my name neither.
Life handing out frustration, gimme a minute, I need a breather.
~
But now I’ve grown more mature while learning how to stay pure.
Stuck in this grey area of love of feeling sure & sometimes insecure.
My girl-I know I’m good for her, but I’m also real to her.
Times are different with her, hopefully not like what they once were.
Learning how to not blind myself when I express love.
Searching for your voice, God, tell me if she’s the one?
Hoping for a yes so I know that I am enough.
Otherwise the 3 of us will have a lot to discuss, that’s real.
~
I deal with a lot of people situations beside me
People want to disrespect me vs try and protect me
Everyone wants to control me, but don’t know how to love me
Everyone say they miss me, but won’t come see me
Everyone likes to go ghost and do it so freely
Everyone choose to banned me rather than try to understand me

Let me tell you about my friend
With pale light skin and ginger hair
She has a personality so beautiful, it’s rare
Whenever I’m down, she’s always there

She has blue eyes that eases the mind
With a smile that can brighten up anyone’s life
Her name is Cara but to me, she’s Mother Nature
A perfection trapped in a human figure

I’m like a sinner and she’s the sister
Listening to all my worries and adventures
When I rant about how ****** in the head I am
She reminds me how far I came to be the better man

It’s been an absolute pleasure meeting her
A one of a kind diamond treasure
I’ll always be grateful and forever love her
Even if I am a bit more edgier

when i tell you that i'm going to love you,
i hope you never wonder or doubt that i will love a l l of y o u.

i will love you the most
when you're falling to pieces,
when you can't stand on your own two feet,
when you h a t e me.

because i'm not signing up to love you only at your best,
but especially at your w o r s t.