I looked at the time, it was seven o'clock,
we were having a party and I was in my best frock.
We were partying away - my friends and I -
dancing around in the moonlit sky.

Drinking away I was starting to feel funny,
when my friend Harry said to me "come in, honey".
Drunk, I followed - I trusted him dearly.
He was going to look after me, I could see it clearly.

But soon I found out that he actually wanted me,
and as he got on top of me, darkness was all I could see.
He lifted up my dress and pulled down my knickers,
and as he did what he had to do, all I could taste in my mouth were liquors.

I told him "no" and told him to stop fiercely,
but instead he carried on and laughed in my ear harshly.
He ****** himself deeper inside,
as he chose to ignore my cries.

I couldn't push him off, he was too heavy,
all colour drained from my face and I began to feel empty.
He was high on drugs and alcohol fuelled,
and he carried on throughout the night until he was fulfilled.

The next day I woke up ****** and feeling *****,
I was covered in bruises and I was full of worry.
My lipstick was smeared and my hair full of knots,
and on my body there were scratches - lots and lots.

Now I'm sitting here three months on,
I've been dealing with this pain alone for far too long.
I swallow the hundreds of pills I've saved up,
and wash them down with alcohol from the drinking cup.

Brought upto emotions,
                          I did a blunder,
Costing my life,
                        Drowning every second,
Brought me to live up in fake,
                        Helpless I became
They are loving it,
                        I did a blunder,
My mouth speak there words,
                       Sinking to sea,
The night came,
                      I'm still in the same,
Traumatic I became,
                     Closing the life affair!

I have bad dreams.

They come, unbidden, into my room at night.

They pass through the maze of my alcoholic daze;

They take me back,

Back to a dusty desert road;

Our convoy is headed towards Mosul.

But we never make it there:

The Humvee is upended by an eardrum shattering blast.

I am falling.

I see you are screaming but there is no sound..

Blackness.

I died three times on the medivac copter

But the Corpsman kept bringing me back.

I have bad dreams

In them I see the faces of the dead,

They are the faces of my friends;

My friends, for whom I mourn

Until this heart becomes a stone.

I used to have a depressed bipolar and strange step dad
I have nothing against depression or bipolar and strange people
But this guy made me hate humanity

He was munipulative and agressive

He would beat us and then tell my mum it was an accident

We were only 4-9 years old, we weren't going to speak up.

The thing that gets me is that he managed to get my mother to love him so much, that no matter what he did
She would believe his lies

She would choose him over us

I actually hated her at one stage

But one day we come home and hes gone.
Pills are laying on the bed
Alot of them.
And half of the packages were empty.

My mum freaked
She stayed up all night worrying
And worrying
And worrying
About that *******

When finally at four in the morning
One of her calls is finally answered by his phone
Its a woman that answers
She says "hello"
"Oh uh okay, let me get him for you."
"Baby theres someone on the phone for you"

My mum hangs up before she talks to him..
The ******* **** faked his own death to run away with another woman


And if I ever see him again
Id be glad to beat the **** out of him

My mum was like pretty upset for a year but moved on after that
It was hard for her
It was hard for everyone

But Im pretty glad hes out of our lives now.

Hands like guillotines
sever ties
flee fleeting moments
of traumatic scenes
and gay parades
on ink-stained clouds
blushing like mushrooms
tinted by the sun.