Each pink curving line my lips would kiss
Gentle press of flesh against sacred flesh
Divine sculpture, shaped and sealed like this
Scars as vines of life beginning afresh
Next trace along each ink line, old and new
Histories of life lived and battles won
Windows of a soul I could fall into
Warm and soft like the rising of the sun
Morning sun stretches when kisses meet throat
Along jawline and across cheekbones to nose
Songs of dawn birds meaningless and remote
Wrapped as we are in this sublime repose
Skin to true skin, heart to exalted heart
I am devout worshiper of your art

I got my first masculine haircut today
:) :) :)

as soon as you stop caring,
the earth will drop her barriers.
you’ll see freckles and acne
and bed-heads and grass-stained pants.
queer kids singing I love you,
and trans kids hearing their name for the first time.
you’ll feel the sun sink your legs in a warm bubble bath,
finally being comfortable enough to wear shorts.
you’ll do a little dance
as you taste strawberry ice-cream,
and you’ll read poems that
  float
      around,

     too bubbly to

stay still.

I admit,

sometimes it's hard to stay here.
the world shakes hard for me to leave,
for me to go back to hating everything.

I hope I'm strong enough to stay.

stay with me?

And then I came out

I walk through the doors,
Present the child with a tiny badge,
Yellow, white, purple, black.
I watch the smile spread across their face,
As I call them
"Captain; dear; Mx. Eli; child"
Do not tell me that they are not real
Do not tell me that they are confused
You have never known the inner workings
Of the mind of a child,
You dictate their thoughts and dreams and imaginary friends and fathers.
They are not confused
They know their mind
And they know the world they will grow up in
Will be nothing but cruel to them -
Nothing but cruelty to the little lost boys and girls and neithers,
Because if you cannot experience it then it must not be true,
And you must make up lies you imagine your father must have said
From his passive, uncaring position in the clouds,
Watching drama unfold like a game of Sims.
Tell me I'm going to hell. I'll see you there.
And never talk to my sibling like that again.

It is true that not all who wander are lost
But it is also true that
Not all who are lost want to be found

Or maybe I’m I just don’t think I deserve to be found
I feel to lost to be found
I am too far away from who you think I am
That if you knew
I would be a stranger to you

Hey dysphoric trans girl,

I see you.
Your outfit is really cute today.
And I'm really proud of you for getting
Our of bed with such grace.
The weight of dysphoria is heavy
Let me carry it with you.
You're essential to the world we live in.
You're more than a trending topic.
Your bodies existence is a radical act
And it's survival is worthy of celebration
Disappointment *****.
Being able to still be disappointed
Means you are engaged in your life.
You are an active player.
That's good!
Every part of you is a girl.
Especially the part you don’t like today.
Your voice, hands, and feet are feminine
What else could they be

Love,
A dysphoric trans boy

I look at my chest the way I'd look at a wound
I know its a part of me  
I know its there  
but it feels temporary  
and a little gross
like I sliced my thumb  
on glass at 1 am  
my binder is a bandage  
and it's hard to take off
because the wound will open up  
And my back hurts wearing from bandage  
But it's so much better than  
Seeing where my skin splits in two

There is a boy in my closet
The boy is friendly but stays hidden
When I look in the mirror there he is
I became jealous of who he is
He says he wants to come out  
I decided to ignore it
But the curiosity grew bit by bit
Until I could barely stand it
"CUT YOUR HAIR"
But when I went downstairs my unapproving mother stood there
The boy wasn’t at ease with what our plan began to be
Because in reality, the boy was really me
But all people can see is she
That part wasn’t cut out for me
I don’t understand the big deal if I'm a he

You call me
She, her, daughter, girl
Shhhhhh…
You speak with a blind mouth,
Look at me, see me
She isn't me
Only a fantasy that you clutch
I'm not broken, I'm free

Long hair
lipstick
lace dress
You question me every time I show you my truth
"Are you trying to hide your femininity?"
No, my femininity is simply not my definition
Spend a day in my skin, in my cage
And don't cry when the words start to pierce you like daggers.

Shhhh… stay silent, don’t worry its just a phase
Now do you see the "She" just doesn't make sense
You speak to me but your voice seems distant,
Bouncing off and echoing