In the beginning of my first heartbreak it shattered into a million pieces. I laid in it for awhile before wanting to put it back together because I was numb and depressed for a good minute but then, piece by piece I started taping it back together taking my time with it not leaving any piece behind. When it was put back together it didn’t glow for awhile…months…years until I got a small glow from someone and then it stopped and then it eventually glowed again and then eventually stopped… and then it glowed somewhat brighter and stayed light for a couple months and then…it stopped and some pieces shattered. I began to fix it putting the small piece back in place hoping it would glow..praying it would light up for who I want or who I needed in someone…and then it did it glowed super ******* bright it started to heal itself in a way that I wasn’t used to it was uncomfortable and scary but it stayed glowing for weeks that lead to months that lead to a year and another year and then another year…and then it shined a bit brighter it was uncomfortable I didn’t mention there was a cage before when I picked up the pieces to my heart the first time… my heart was glowing inside of the cage shining brighter and brighter like when you look at a sun and you squint…it was that bright…the cages began to melt away and it stayed lit for those weeks, months, and years…it was ready to share a heart a small one so it can shine brighter…it was ready to say yes a million times over and over…it was happy…and then it stopped…it didn’t dim like when you turn those lights off to make it the right light just for you no it cut off…and it exploded the pieces are even tiny this time the pieces you can’t even see the outline to even attempt to put it together… this time is different…this time it doesn’t wanna be fix it wants to lay in the destruction…it wants to decay. This is my heart.

I have never been able to sleep.
Everything toys with me as
my mind wonder into the deep
The clock on the wall
Criticizing my need for momentary peace.
When will I ever be released?
Imagination very active and all is alive.
In my waking moments, I am groggy I strive
only for the feel and desire to survive.
Before, I close my eyes with the sister of death.
Possibilities of the unknown is where it all thrives
My thoughts depart from time to time.
Countdown of spiraling minutes
I'm losing my will to eat and the need to rest.
Shifting away from friends & from all that is left

It is the soul that is asleep,
and the body simply follows.

I find my soul only in the realm of darkness,
so I close my eyes
to put my soul at ease,
in its home
of oblivion.